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Thread: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

  1. #1
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    It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    So the men in white coats have found a way of developing sperm without a man in sight. Talk about shoot yourself in the foot.....you'll notice I said Men in white coats! What were they thinking??

    Quite a few women of The Jeremy Vine Show today on Radio 2 were whooping with delight at the thought of a man free world.

    Personally, I have no desire to put the rubbish out or load the dishwasher and my arms aren't long enough to give myself a back rub, so Gav....you're safe for now.

    So, stem cell sperm, good or bad idea?

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    Commercial Operator StokeBloke's Avatar
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    Cool Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    So, stem cell sperm, good or bad idea?
    Great idea if you get the hots for turkey basters

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    Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post
    Great idea if you get the hots for turkey basters
    Apparently there are women in this world that don't like willies...or the men that are attached to them. Can't understand it myself. I've heard the "last turkey in the shop" look is all the rage.....you're safe Stokie!

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    Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Artificially created sperm won't open jars, deal with big hairy spiders or fix your car for you...

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    Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Quote Originally Posted by CheesyRobMan View Post
    open jars
    Bang the rim of the lid against the work top and open with a rubber glove on. Easy.

    Quote Originally Posted by CheesyRobMan View Post
    deal with big hairy spiders


    Gav screams like when there's a big hairy spider around. Muggins here has to deal with it.

    Quote Originally Posted by CheesyRobMan View Post
    fix your car for you.
    Company car....mechanics on tap and paid for by the boss.

    NEXT...!

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    The Dashing Moderator
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    Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    So the men in white coats have found a way of developing sperm without a man in sight. Talk about shoot yourself in the foot.....you'll notice I said Men in white coats! What were they thinking??
    Well maybe they've already fathered a few kids (presumably daughters) and, having sorted out their own contribution to the gene pool, want to reduce competition from other blokes.
    Love dance, will travel

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    Cool Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Bang the rim of the lid against the work top and open with a rubber glove on. Easy.
    Have you been on those specialist Interweb sites again Sam!!!!

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    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
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    Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Gav screams like when there's a big hairy spider around. Muggins here has to deal with it.
    Wax or shave?

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    Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Sam looks lovingly into Gav's eye's and says "I love you darling....I want to spend the rest of my life with you - let's make babies together!". With that, Sam reaches over and bites a chunk of flesh from Gav's arm and sends it off to the lab.

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    Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Quote Originally Posted by CheesyRobMan View Post
    Artificially created sperm won't open jars,
    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Bang the rim of the lid against the work top and open with a rubber glove on. Easy.
    There is an easier way.

    Tap the back of a teaspoon against the rim a few times. No rubber gloves needed.

    No damage to the work top.

    Snort

    ...no really it works.

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    Commercial Operator StokeBloke's Avatar
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    Cool Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Gav screams like when there's a big hairy spider around. Muggins here has to deal with it.
    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    Wax or shave?
    I'm thinking probably... STOMP

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    Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Sam looks lovingly into Gav's eye's and says "I love you darling....I want to spend the rest of my life with you - let's make babies together!". With that, Sam reaches over and bites a chunk of flesh from Gav's arm and sends it off to the lab.
    Well.........extrapolate that idea. Imagine that eventually you just might need a hair - or a bit of skin - or a nail - from which to generate the required cells. And then imagine eBay in 2040 auctioning a 'Genuine hair belonging to Bradley Pitt - BuyNow for only $2500'.

    And on eBay UK, 2045 'Genuine fingernail belonging to Gavin Dancealot (will swap for a body cast of Double Troubles chest)'

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    Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Quote Originally Posted by JiveLad View Post
    And on eBay UK, 2045 'Genuine fingernail belonging to Gavin Dancealot (will swap for a body cast of Double Troubles chest)'
    of course by 2045 global warming will have caused the sea levels to rise, coastal erosion will have eaten away at the white cliffs of Dover, in order to maintain this traditional tourist attraction the government of 2045 (the Green party.. they finally got in) will commandeer all supplies of Gypsum to rebuild the white cliffs to their former glory.

    This will mean the supply of Gypsum will run low and as per the laws of supply and demand the price will sky rocket. Plaster of paris (Calcined Gypsum) will become prohibitively expensive.. and, even taking into the account 36 years of ageing and gravity acting upon DT's ..erm.. upper torso.. that's probably going to be a fairly expensive pile of plaster.

    is the Fingernail really worth the cost?

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    Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf View Post
    taking into the account 36 years of ageing and gravity acting upon DT's ..erm.. upper torso.
    I'm a resourceful girl Beo. I intend to tie dusters to the end of them so I can sweep the floor while dancing.

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    Re: It's official! Men are completely pointless!

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    I'm a resourceful girl Beo. I intend to tie dusters to the end of them so I can sweep the floor while dancing.

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