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Reply With QuoteIt's probably more hurtful if you get rejected by someone you consider a poor dancer!Originally Posted by robd
(Are you rating your own dancing quite highly then Rob?)
I don't get it
Do you want to dance or not?
Anyway, photos are up on Facebook - have tagged those that I can.
It's probably more hurtful if you get rejected by someone you consider a poor dancer!
(Are you rating your own dancing quite highly then Rob?
In my experience you are wrong maybe there is a difference in the sexes. It’s the middle aged balding mediocre dancer (with the magic mirror) that tends to say no, not the younger better dancers and personally I prefer to be turned down by them as at least you can rationalise it
Let's face it...we've all got one.
Let's face it...we've all got one.
Where did you get yours DT ?
Do you think i need one lmao
By the looks of you, I would have put money on you already having one.Where did you get yours DT ?
Do you think i need one lmao
i,ll put some more disco gel on next time,mine must be brokeBy the looks of you, I would have put money on you already having one.
Oooh - an upside to being 'old and fat'!Hell yeah! A certain forumite I knew well at one point would never ever dance with anyone at Cheshunt, or anywhere else for that matter unless they were young and slim (apart from me, my sister and a small handful of our lady friends).
Why? - "Oh dear God no....they're all old and fat".
Charming!
I wouldn't mind, but he was a crap dancer anyway....
Well as a relative newbie compared to you more established folk (aka old farts) I never refuse a dance unless I have a legitimate reason not to. I remember one time I was walking round the dance floor as I was desparate for the loo, and a woman practically grabbed my arm for a dance and didn't look best pleased when I announced my ulterior motive for my movement!
I still made the effort to find her on my return and dance with her though.
What about if you've had a rubbish dance with that person and they ask again? I've never had that experience but I wouldn't know what to do then. Is it ok to refuse on subsequent requests?
I guess it depends on what you mean by “rubbish dance”. If it’s a bad dance just because they’re a beginner, or an experienced but not very good dancer, I’ll probably say yes. When I was a beginner, I needed people to dance with me, or I’d never have got better (and still like to dance with people better than me now!).
If however they’ve done something to upset me, then I might politely refuse. Reasons include personal hygiene, causing me pain/injury and sleaze/making me feel uncomfortable. There a very small number of such people on my list whom I try to avoid, but if one of them does get to ask me, then I will sometimes say yes just to see if they’ve changed. Sadly they haven’t so far. But if I did refuse, then I’d ensure that I didn’t dance that one with someone else, and probably try and walk away from the area where we are standing so that they didn’t ask me for the next one! But avoiding them asking you in the first place is the best thing I find.
I've only ever got refusals off good dancers. That's the way it works unfortunately.
But that said, there could be an argument to be made that I wouldn't get a good dance off somebody that didn't want to dance with me anyway and wasn't interested in getting the connection.
But I've never refused meself.
How often do you ask yourself to dance?
Refuse no one and dance with everybody. Simple rule that works for me.
DTS XXX XXX
Yes it is ok to say no.
My rule with charity cases is one dance then fek off and leave me alone.
I apply that rule to myself also when asking leads that are in lots of demand...they don't want me or anyone else on their case all night....unfortunately some folk have no social skills and have no comprehension of whats appropriate so you have to be firm or you end up with charity cases stalking you all night.
Edit: In a nutshell, we've all got magic mirrors and we're all charity cases, relatively speaking.
Last edited by Double Trouble; 3rd-June-2009 at 03:07 PM. Reason: 8 out of ten retards prefer Cheshunt
I'm not saying that its not ok to refuse, it is ok. I just really can't stand the $hit excuse which is then proved to be just that. The other thing I can't stand is the look up and down and then refuse, so rude.
As others have said, for a lot of people it takes a lot to ask someone to dance and to be left feeling that you had a cheek to even be breathing the same air as the refuser is just not on.
I would also add that the situation I am thinking of most is one where there has been no previous experience of dancing with that partner, no history if you like, no reason to be rude.
Yeah, I agree with that. At least give em a chance, but don't let them get away with asking you every 5 minutes, because if you let them, they will.
By the way TP...any chance of you giving me a charity dance soon? Just one, then I'll leave yu alone.
Wow DT, that course you took at charm school has really paid off - you must give me the details
But seriously, if there is someone I would rather not dance with, I will do my best to avoid eye contact by rummaging around in my handbag or walking purposefully off in the other direction, but, if they do manage to catch me on my blindside and get as far as actually asking me to dance then I will not refuse and will do my utmost to have and give as good a dance as I can - factoring in elements of self preservation and holding my breath if necessary.
For the record, anyone who would even consider refusing Spartak Lad without a reeeeaally good reason (broken leg, severed artery etc) needs their head examined.
....see that's the problem with you woman, give you a dance and you never come back for another, don't dance with you and you plague me to death, I just can't winYeah, I agree with that. At least give em a chance, but don't let them get away with asking you every 5 minutes, because if you let them, they will.
By the way TP...any chance of you giving me a charity dance soon? Just one, then I'll leave yu alone.
Anyway, you ain't no charity case so you can pi$$ off and join the queue like everyone else
Being of a reserved disposition myself I appreciate the courage it can take to ask for a dance so I never refuse if asked. I have ocassionally had to turn down a dance because I have promised someone else, or simply have to dance with my wife to a particular track (or she'll never forgive me!), however, if that is the case, I will promise them the next track and seek them out after the present track has finished.
If there is someone I would prefer not to dance with (very rare), I would avoid eye contact, but if they did ask, I would not refuse.
After all, even if it turns out to be the worst dance you've ever had, it's only 3-4 mins of your evening.
I find it really difficult to ask in general (unless I am having a really good evening) and stick to asking people I know won't turn me down for the most part. I am trying not to mind not dancing to as many tracks as I would like to as I find this preferable to refusals. Now I just need to learn to lipread so that I can actually understand what people are saying to me during my sitting out times!
I have a very generous partner who will dance with anyone and everyone which leaves me sitting out more than most people who come as a couple - it is a shame that there are not more men like him around! If only more ladies encouraged their men friends to come along I might get more opportunities to dance!
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