Swine flu outbreak

[David Franklin]

Through non-intimate body contact, like MJ, only a few virus are likely to be transmitted. The body has just a bit longer to organise its defences. an air borne virus arrives in vast quantities, there can be 10,000 in a single cell. If there is an serious outbreak MJ venues will be closed.

Washing your hands (frequently) makes a big difference. (I can't find the quote, so I'm paraphrasing, but the head of the WHO once said "If I had one wish, and had to choose between world peace and everyone washing their hands regularly, I don't know which I'd choose").

[bigdjiver]

Jerome K Jerome said he could catch a disease just by reading about it.

[SPROGGS]

Mostly sensible advice, although apparently those most vulnerable to this one tend to be the apparently young and healthy. Heard something on the radio the other day about it, but couldn't find much when googling just now, but it's probably based on this which I did find:



It seems that predicted death tolls are based on stats from past outbreaks - but of course we didn't have so much in the way of anti-virals and hygiene awareness back then.

Anyway, fingers crossed!

I agree with you on this that was why I used the term "I guess" as it is still early days and it may still mutate....

[SPROGGS]

Absolute nonsense - you can get swine flu just be LOOKING at a pig. And if its wearing a bonnet and lipstick - the chances of you catching anything are much much higher

Do you look at them in a "sexy way" while pouting your lips.....

Now if then if they were wearing "Stockings" I could understand where you are coming from but not sure about the bonnet

[Gav]

Jerome K Jerome said he could catch a disease just by reading about it.

Well he was clearly a bit of a tw4t then, wasn't he?

[batnurse]

Absolute nonsense - you can get swine flu just be LOOKING at a pig. And if its wearing a bonnet and lipstick - the chances of you catching anything are much much higher

Well speaking as a virologist, currently testing squillions of throat swabs for swine flu, DS is talking as much sense as most people I've heard

[frolicols]

I phoned the NHS Direct helpline last night to ask about Swine Flu, but all I got was crackling...

It's the a-pork-alypse I tell you!

[Clueless]

DON'T PANIC BUT YOU ARE GOING TO DIE


TWO SCOTTISH PEOPLE FEELING A BIT RUN DOWN

This is who started it

[SPROGGS]

I phoned the NHS Direct helpline last night to ask about Swine Flu, but all I got was crackling...

It's the a-pork-alypse I tell you!

I am going to give this forum a Roast...the humour here is suckling.. and someone should get the chop for it

[Brian Doolan]

I woke up this morning looking a bit strange so I 'phoned the doctor to tell him I thought I may have swine flue. He asked me what my symptoms were and why I thought I may have swine flue, I told him I woke up covered in rashes.

[Isis]

The pair, from one of the dozens of non-descript hell-holes between Edinburgh and Glasgow, were admitted to hospital yesterday when their condition was described as 'critically fuzzy'.

Oi, that non-descript hell-hole is my home town!

[Phil_dB]

[Dreadful Scathe]

I think I may have the first symptoms . I've developed a nasty rasher

I woke up this morning looking a bit strange so I 'phoned the doctor to tell him I thought I may have swine flue. He asked me what my symptoms were and why I thought I may have swine flue, I told him I woke up covered in rashes.

Stop it Brian - now you're stealing jokes from the same thread

[Phil_dB]

<-wonders how long these jokes will go on for? Snout wrong with a few jokes, but they get a little Boaring after a while.

[JiveLad]

Well, the latest 'Breaking News' on Sky right now is that the couple in the UK who had swine flu are being released from hospital. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/lif...cle6184080.ece

They were whisked away for a meeting with Max Clifford who is snouting round the Sunday newspapers for this exclusive story of porcine hell. Expect major headlines in the News of the World this Sunday. *

It was interesting to notice the name of the couple: Ian and Dawn Askham.

I mean - they were asking for it really weren't they?

* And quotes from Dawn:
"When we checked into our hotel in Mexico I think the receptionist misunderstood our name and thought we were asking for some ham in our room. Imagine my horror when we opened the door and found a Mexican pig in our en suite".

[SPROGGS]

Well, the latest 'Breaking News' on Sky right now is that the couple in the UK who had swine flu are being released from hospital. http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/lif...cle6184080.ece

They were whisked away for a meeting with Max Clifford who is snouting round the Sunday newspapers for this exclusive story of porcine hell. Expect major headlines in the News of the World this Sunday.[/I]

Max clifford...So He's got is nose in the trough now.

[SPROGGS]

I woke up this morning looking a bit strange so I 'phoned the doctor to tell him I thought I may have swine flue. He asked me what my symptoms were and why I thought I may have swine flue, I told him I woke up covered in rashes.

GREAT NEWS Brian --- You can get some Oinkment for them But your need to stop scratchings them first

[Gojive]

I think I may have the first symptoms . I've developed a nasty rasher

I woke up this morning looking a bit strange so I 'phoned the doctor to tell him I thought I may have swine flue. He asked me what my symptoms were and why I thought I may have swine flue, I told him I woke up covered in rashes.

Stop it Brian - now you're stealing jokes from the same thread

I guess it was only a matter of time before the same jokes went rind and rind.

[Gojive]

More breaking news...

The British Government have released a statement, claiming that they're confident they can keep the outbreak under control, using a special winged instect that is found on swine food.

Yeah yeah, pigswill fly!

[Dreadful Scathe]

* And quotes from Dawn:
"When we checked into our hotel in Mexico I think the receptionist misunderstood our name and thought we were asking for some ham in our room. Imagine my horror when we opened the door and found a Mexican pig in our en suite".

how did she know it was a Mexican pig ? Maybe it was on holiday too !