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Thread: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

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    Registered User Chicklet's Avatar
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    The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    I know it's wrong but it's amazing...
    Do the wimmin on this show really think that the pony tail scraped hard back off the (hard) face and greased down with chip fat leaving a scraggy *fringe* element in a line across the forehead is flattering?

    I know it has been around a while but where did this do come from?

    I have also seen it at that Asda place when I had to go in for an emergency banana purchase

    Why??

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicklet View Post
    I know it's wrong but it's amazing...
    Do the wimmin on this show really think that the pony tail scraped hard back off the (hard) face and greased down with chip fat leaving a scraggy *fringe* element in a line across the forehead is flattering?

    I know it has been around a while but where did this do come from?
    I don't know about the hairdo but why, why, why would you watch Jeremy Kyle??

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicklet View Post
    I have also seen it at that Asda place when I had to go in for an emergency banana purchase
    The thing that gets me about our local Asda lately, is the number of women who go shopping in their jammies. Why??

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicklet View Post
    I know it's wrong but it's amazing...
    Do the wimmin on this show really think that the pony tail scraped hard back off the (hard) face and greased down with chip fat leaving a scraggy *fringe* element in a line across the forehead is flattering?

    I know it has been around a while but where did this do come from?

    I have also seen it at that Asda place when I had to go in for an emergency banana purchase

    Why??
    U talking about the Glasgow Facelift??

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Isis View Post
    I don't know about the hairdo but why, why, why would you watch Jeremy Kyle??
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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicklet View Post
    the pony tail scraped hard back off the (hard) face and greased down with chip fat leaving a scraggy *fringe* element in a line across the forehead
    You missed the other key elements which are essential for appearing on the Jeremy Kyle show.

    1. Under no circumstances are you allowed more than two teeth in your head.
    2. You must at all times have a muffin top with a tasteful belly button ring on show.
    3. You must be sporting yellow fingers from over use of cigarettes and under use of soap.
    4. No less than 10 tattoos each.


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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by CJ View Post
    U talking about the Glasgow Facelift??
    well not in mey part of Glesgow.

    only here for the benter

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    You missed the other key elements which are essential for appearing on the Jeremy Kyle show.

    1. Under no circumstances are you allowed more than two teeth in your head.
    2. You must at all times have a muffin top with a tasteful belly button ring on show.
    3. You must be sporting yellow fingers from over use of cigarettes and under use of soap.
    4. No less than 10 tattoos each.

    and that's just the (29 year old) grandmothers!

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    ugh muffin tops, far worse than the glasgow facelift by quite some way :erk:

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    You missed the other key elements which are essential for appearing on the Jeremy Kyle show.

    1. Under no circumstances are you allowed more than two teeth in your head.
    2. You must at all times have a muffin top with a tasteful belly button ring on show.
    3. You must be sporting yellow fingers from over use of cigarettes and under use of soap.
    4. No less than 10 tattoos each.

    5. IQ must not exceed 70 which from memory makes them either simpletons or imbeciles

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicklet View Post
    and that's just the (29 year old) grandmothers!
    Scene - young girl standing beside her mum while she is doing the washing up

    Daughter of a female Jeremy Kyle participant : “Mum why are your hands so soft ?”

    Female Jeremy Kyle participant : “Because I’m only f***ing 14 !”

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by marcusj View Post
    5. IQ must not exceed 70

    But they're often quite clued up how to claim the maximum benefits
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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post

    But they're often quite clued up how to claim the maximum benefits
    Double

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    You missed the other key elements which are essential for appearing on the Jeremy Kyle show.

    1. Under no circumstances are you allowed more than two teeth in your head.
    2. You must at all times have a muffin top with a tasteful belly button ring on show.
    3. You must be sporting yellow fingers from over use of cigarettes and under use of soap.
    4. No less than 10 tattoos each.

    Also "must not be able to communicate in full sentances without every second/third word being an expletive"

    "Must not be able to be interrupted while sprewing said stream of expletives"

    "Ideally able to hold an opion (which may or may not have some merit), but be of the belief that repeating it, frequently, drowing out all others, will make it somehow pure truth"

    And from the one time I caught the programme "insist on sporadically making a point, agreeing with yourself, and nodding and clapping to back it up" (honestly, who claps themselves???)

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    But they're often quite clued up how to claim the maximum benefits
    Do you think we should get a bunch of them in as advisors to the government? They may be able to find a way of getting the economy to work?
    Last edited by Princess Fi; 27th-March-2009 at 02:25 PM.

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Also, if they have a child, the only way they can be sure who's the father, is to have a paternity test

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicklet View Post
    I have also seen it at that Asda place when I had to go in for an emergency banana purchase

    Why??
    Emergency bananas?

    For when there are no blokes around? There are modern non-degradable alternatives, you know...

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    what kind of girl do you think I am you horror ?!?!?!?
    Never comfortable in the house without bananas and a "guest" ate my last one uninvited.

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicklet View Post
    what kind of girl do you think I am you horror ?!?!?!?
    Never comfortable in the house without bananas and a "guest" ate my last one uninvited.
    Did your banana eating guest look anything like this?

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    Did your banana eating guest look anything like this?
    I used to fancy Velma (and not Thelma as that pic is entitled ) when I was a very young (ie primary school) and impressionable boy.. You could say she set me on the road to Geekdom.

    As for all these chain smoking young mothers with Scrape backs and pierced tattooed muffin tops. I don't think they're a lost cause.. we just need to tailor the education system to suit.

    For example.. If we take the classic mathematical problem of Fibonacci's Rabbits we can give it a twist more suited to your average Daily Mail Reader / Jeremy Kyle Viewer. Sort of like

    Q. A Girl gets pregnant aged 15. She realises that the benefits are quite good and decides to have another child each year until she turns 50. When each of her children reaches the age of 15 they also decide to follow their parents example and father and/or mother a child each year, and the same for their children and so on. Given this premise answer
    (a) How many generations will there be by the time the original Girl is 50?
    (b) How many children will there be?
    (c) Give the probability that there will be at least 1 Courtney and 1 Kyle per generation
    and for 5 bonus points
    (d) to the nearest Pound Sterling calculate the gross annual benefit as accrued by all of the initial girls descendants.


    Why.. by tailoring the questions and education correctly we could raise many generations of super geniuses .. and in just one normal life span too

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    Re: The Jeremy Kyle Ladies' Hair Do

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    You missed the other key elements which are essential for appearing on the Jeremy Kyle show.

    1. Under no circumstances are you allowed more than two teeth in your head.
    2. You must at all times have a muffin top with a tasteful belly button ring on show.
    3. You must be sporting yellow fingers from over use of cigarettes and under use of soap.
    4. No less than 10 tattoos each.

    You forgot the obligatory shell suit and the overlarge but very tasteful sovereign gold ring

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