Sorry I didn't see this earlier
to everything above.
I admit that I probably dance far too UCP for anyone not into Blues...
One thing is that I know that several of the dancers with whom I have some of my most connected Blues dances are definitely happily married or dating. I have no issue with this (and I'm definitely not chasing them, or intending to) and as long as we all understand the rule: What goes on on the dance floor, stays on the dance floor.... everything is fine..
I have also come to classes and parties with male friends a couple of times, and am definitely not attached, either to them or a non dancer, so approaching/asking when I am off the floor is by far the best method..
u-dancing - I read with interest the link you sent us to... I sincerely admire your courage in getting this far. I hope you have the strength and courage to become the best dancer that you can be
I know that I am nowhere like in the same league as you, but before I joined the CEROC scene I was definitely more of an introvert than extrovert in most of my daily life... All I can say is that Dancing has brought out the flirt in me...For which I apologise not a jot
Cheers Whitetiger
Not really true - I'm marreid to a non dancer and see him pretty much every day. It may be different for people in London who have the option of feeding their dance habit 7 days a week if they wanted, but for me, with the exception of weekender weekends, I see him 6 days a week.
On the overall subject of Dance relationships, I'm with HelenB (wait, that's how rumours get started - oh you know what I mean!)
I can't imagine ever being involved with a dancer - I like the idea that dancing is a "me" thing, and that him and I have different interests. I wouldn't want us to spend our marriage in each other's pockets, and the seperate interests thing is indicative of this.
That being said I know it works for others out there - if nothing else, they always know they've got someone for that last blues dance of the night! (*sniff* not that I'm bitter about that or antyhing!)
I am a similar position as I am married to a non dancer who hates dancing with a passion and although it would be nice to have your own dance partner to fall back on, the truth is I do love having something that is only for me (very selfish I know).
I do live in London so could quite easily dance every night if I wanted to but tend to limit myself to 3 nights a week. My husband also goes out as he sings in clubs, sometimes on nights when I’m home but it works for us.
Ah that sounds familiar
People have asked me in the past "does you husband not mind you going off to go dancing with other men?" I knew the answer was no, but I thought I would ask him one day so I could quote the official party line.
So when I asked him "do you not mind me going off dancing with other men" he replied...
"No cause it means I don't have to dance with you"
Any they say romance is dead.
Fletch I didn't know you felt that way
I guess I can see that point of view, personally it really wouldn't bother me... if someone one can make her look amazing on the floor and give her a better dance than me I'd be proud to watch... even in the blues room.
yeah that would worry me more.
Last edited by Jay Jay; 25th-March-2009 at 04:17 PM.
I think that when it comes to doing things wrong, feelings of rejection, etc, you just have to tell yourself that everyone does things wrong everyday, everyone does things that could be misinterpreted everyday, at times people will do things that make them stand out, etc... IMO you therefore just have to accept that, even with the best will in the world, today you will do something wrong, say something that could be misinterpreted, etc. The more your mind is pre-occupied with other things then the more you will make mistakes so its best not to worry about things too much. This is a lot easier said than done though
Last edited by Jhutch; 7th-April-2009 at 11:21 AM.
Hello, first off i would like to thank everyone sent messages of support.
In ref to this post, all of what you said is correct and that just what someone with SA will think, they will know what they feel and do is not rational and that is part of what makes up SA, the hard part is re-wiring the brain to accept these.
I met my bloke through dancing and can safely say that I don't think I gave him any signals at all whilst dancing and he didn't give me any either. I'm inclined to think that what happens on the dancefloor is just dancing, otherwise I'd be a very jealous and upset girly when my man dances with other ladies, particularly blues. I'll have to improve my dancing a lot before he gets jealous of me dancing with other blokes!!!
The 'signals' were definitely given in other ways, such as, how often he asked me to dance, how much he smiled when he saw me at a venue (a big beaming smile on first sighting followed by coming to find me for a chat was a little bit of a sign that he may be a little bit interested!!), talking to one another after the dance / in between dances. That and some help from Facebook's 'Are you interested?' managed to see us happily paired!!!
H x
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