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Thread: How to tackle illness and dancing

  1. #21
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    Re: How to tackle illness and dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by Nessiemonster View Post
    Dancing is not only good exercise, but is excellent for mental well-being - something that can suffer when you're going through the type of illness and treatment that you're experiencing right now. If dancing is helping you feel better, my advice would be to stick with it!

    I hope your treatment is successful and your dancing enjoyable!
    If music is the food of the soul, play on.

  2. #22
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    Re: How to tackle illness and dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by Connie View Post
    After a 1 year break from dancing due to health reasons I started up again in October in the lovely Maja's Albrighton Hall venue in Shrewsbury. However I was diagnosed with cancer just after Chrstimas which put a stop to dancing for a while...
    You have my best wishes, and I am sure that a good nights dancing will be good for your mental well-being.

    I... have no problem at all with people asking me what was wrong with me, and i can understand the two men who dropped out of the rotation when it became their turn to dance with me (which was only once as the class size was so big)...
    I always worry about dancing with ladies that look fragile, I do not want to cause pain.

    ... But what I am not so happy about was the comment I got that I shouldnt be there and it was selfish to spoil the class for everyone else? ...
    This was an amazing psychic bloke if he could read what eveyone else was thinking.

    Part of the joy of dancing for me is to live for a while in a bubble of illusion that excludes all of the pain and suffering in the world outside. I can understand his feelings, but, of course, he should have ketp them to himself. Given time to reflect he might have realised that one day he may want to go dancing when his appearance will dampen the atmosphere for some. If any readers believe they are perfect I can assure that it will not last. One of the things that is guaranteed to spoil an evening is someone with a bad attitude that shows.




    ... Would it bother you guys to dance with someone who didnt look 100% well, or perhaps you could deduct would not be able/want to follow some of your more boisterous moves? (dont hold back I do want an honest opinion and wont be upset if you say yes)...
    Yes, it does. I fight the feeling, and it has paid off.

    Two of my top dance memories were with with ladies with medical conditions. One was heavily pregnant, the other was completely bald. I assumed that was chemotherapy. I always hoped to dance with her again. Hopefully I just missed the chance, not recognising her with hair.

    ... I am trying to decide if I should forget about dancing while I undergo treatment and have chemo or if it's ok from the "avarage" dancers viewpoint to continue. I dont want to spoil anyones fun...
    I cannot speak for the average dancer. I want my dance environment to be as inclusive, considerate and friendly as possible. You will inspire others now, and later in their lives by cantinuing to dance. You may even be good for the guy that made you feel uncomfortable, if he thinks about it a bit more.

    I will even sink to quoting Brucie:

    Keep on dancing!

  3. #23
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    Re: How to tackle illness and dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by bigdjiver View Post
    Two of my top dance memories were with with ladies with medical conditions. One was heavily pregnant, the other was completely bald.
    Those are medical conditions ? You're not a doctor are you ?

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    Re: How to tackle illness and dancing

    Quote Originally Posted by Connie View Post
    Would it bother you guys to dance with someone who didnt look 100% well, or perhaps you could deduct would not be able/want to follow some of your more boisterous moves? (dont hold back I do want an honest opinion and wont be upset if you say yes)
    I know people who never look 100% well...

    In a case like yours my only reservation would be that if you were ill, you might not have the energy or the strength for fast tracks, long tracks or particular moves. If I held back it would be purely because I didn't want to hurt you or exhaust you. I would ask before the dance if you wanted me to take it easy or just go for it, and dance accordingly. Having suffered from chronic fatigue syndrome myself and knowing people like Lynn who have had other problems, it is something I will work around if I know it's an issue.

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    Re: How to tackle illness and dancing

    I think it was CJ who used the word - "manners". I'm ashamed you were treated poorly and, even if it wasn't intentional, your perception that you were treated poorly is worry enough.

    Others have said it earlier - dance is wonderfully therapeutic, whether your "ailment" is physical or emotional. Or both. Keep at it, Connie.

    Being charitable for a moment, the guys who dipped out may have felt uncomfortable about dancing with you for a number of reasons: they may have felt clumsy, or that they needed to be hyper-cautious, or whatever. But, judging by the response you've had here (and I would expect no less) those two guys are pretty much in the minority, so don't let it get to you.

    Just a thought (and no more than just a passing thought!) - you may feel more comfortable in yourself, perhaps, if you went "fixed couple" for the class? It happens a lot at the Home Counties venues I regularly dance at and is a solution to a number of issues that may exist - insecurity, lack of confidence, or just plain paranoia (this last is ever-so-slightly tongue-in-cheek!)

    Keep smiling

  6. #26
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    Re: How to tackle illness and dancing

    Firstly Connie I would like to wish you a speedy recovery, and say its nice to see you again on the forum.

    Part of helping ourselves to feel better is to do the things that give us pleasure, and make us feel good about ourselves. Dancing can be such a good tonic and I am sorry to hear you had that experience.

    I do agree with Trouble that the dance world will have a sample of people who are prejudiced and narrow minded, just like society in general. All I can say is that in the majority the people are nice and there are some lovely men in the dance world, as you can see from the replies on your thread, so Connie keep on dancing, and don't let those others put you off. It is them that has the problem and not you. Big hugs
    if you love the life you live then you'll get a lot more done

  7. #27
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    Re: How to tackle illness and dancing

    Hey Connie,

    Echoing what others have said already. Really sorry to hear about your health problems and I hope you have as speedy a recovery as possible.

    On the "do you mind dancing with someone who doesn't look 100% well" question (I'm being lazy by not doing the quoting properly), I'd say it depend on the circumstance. Where it's someone who is obviously getting hospital treatment (I'm taking that from the tub which you've said was visible), my concern, like everyone elses' so far, is about potenitally hurting them. But after a quick question as to "what should I do differently", I don't see there being much of a problem.

    (Having said that I could see myself overcompensating out of good intention, and paying extra special attention to floor craft for example)

    Where its something far more trivial, I could see it being a potential concern. I'm thinking back to a (again I stress trivial given the current context of conversation) situation where someone, suffering very evidently from a streaming cold asked me to dance. (As I recall, he actually used his hands to wipe his heavily streaming nose while asking me. On that occaision, I did feel a bit odd about it....)

    In terms of the person who said to you that you weren't welcome at dancing, that I really find confusing. I cannot think of a time where I have come back from dancing, or someone I know has come back from dancing, and said "I would have had a really great night, but that ill person there ruined it for me by looking ill". That makes as much sense as "I didn't enjoy myself because there was a person there that had a hair style I disliked". (Sorry if that sounds flippant, but it sounds really weird that anyone would honestly beleive that enough to say that to you)

    I hope you have better experiences the next times you go dancing - I'm sure there is a nice long queue of forumites who would love to dance with you (just need to get that little geogrpahy thing sorted out first)

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