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Thread: Rescuing a bad night: when your shoes have a better time than you do!

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    Registered User Easily Led's Avatar
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    Rescuing a bad night: when your shoes have a better time than you do!

    Does anyone have any useful tips for rescuing a bad night ?

    Last night started quite well I had two really nice dances one to Lily Allen's latest and the other to "Mercy" when my attention was drawn to a lady who had broken her shoe. As it happens I always take 2 pairs and she was also a size 5. I normally like to change after a couple of hours in higher heels to lower ones as I think it helps to give me more energy etc. Anyway, I lent her my lower ones as otherwise she would have had to drive home to get a replacement. This was just a minor inconvenience to my evening and the lady appeared to dance comfortably and enthusiastically all night!

    A short while later, however, I managed to accidentally crush the toe of my neighbour whilst slightly moving my chair, breaking a nail which I was mortified about! After much apologising and offers of medical assistance I recovered a little and decided to ask someone also seated round the table (who I didn't know) for a dance. This did not go well - after he had critiqued my following and asked if I was a beginner (or a westie?!), he then dumped me mid dance. I was speechless and really just wanted to go home then and there before things got any worse. Unfortunately I couldn't leave early because of the shoe situation. The man did vaguely apologise later and even asked me for another dance just as I was about to leave but I didn't fancy a pity dance and said no (probably the first time I ever have!). I had changed into my outdoor shoes and was half ready to go when 2 really lovely guys asked me to dance one after the other but I was feeling so crap by then I could hardly raise a smile.

    On the plus side the lady who borrowed my shoes seemed to have had a really good time ....hence the title!

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    Registered User MarkW's Avatar
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    Re: Rescuing a bad night: when your shoes have a better time than you do!

    It is possible that the other parties in your evening might relate a slightly different tale.

    - My shoes were broken then this lovely person, that I don't even know, let me borrow her back up pair and I had such a good evening. What a gem, she completely rescued my evening.
    - My evening was a bit of a disaster. I was sitting at a table when someone moved her chair, hardly at all, but it just caught me wrong and I broke my nail. Ouch! The person on the chair wasn't really at fault but was so upset that I think her evening was actually worse than mine!
    - A woman asked me to dance. She was fine but I was a bit rude to her. My day had been a bit rubbish but I still shouldn't have said that. Later I asked her to dance to say sorry but, quite understandably, she declined. Oh dear, I won't mess up like that again.
    - I'd been missing out on a dance with one particular woman and I managed to ask near the end but she'd changed shoes and was ready to leave. Shame.

    I never know what other people are thinking. On the rare occasions I later find out their take is often very different to mine.

    When things are not going well for me I tend to seek out friends to dance with who know me well enough to respond with a smile to something like "Thank God you're here. I need a dance goddess to rescue me. I'm dancing like a numpty." I'm sure that a similar approach would work for a lady as well.

    Trying to imagine what to do for a lady at a dance where she didn't know many people... Maybe find the men who lead in time, are easy to follow and don't do lots of "advanced" stuff. Then just follow and smile. [That is my translation from a man finding a smiley lady, just dancing, smiling and saying thank you at the end.]

    Don't be afraid to surrender to a bit of boing boing. It's great for relieving stress and putting things in perspective. And if you and your partner both end up with a smile on your face then that counts as success

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    Re: Rescuing a bad night: when your shoes have a better time than you do!

    Quote Originally Posted by MarkW View Post
    Don't be afraid to surrender to a bit of boing boing. It's great for relieving stress and putting things in perspective. And if you and your partner both end up with a smile on your face then that counts as success
    we are talking about dancing here, yes?

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    Registered User ~Jo~'s Avatar
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    Re: Rescuing a bad night: when your shoes have a better time than you do!

    I can sympathise with bad nights, whenever I go to a freestyle I seem to have one. theres no one to dance with and when i do dance i muck up lol. i think its a state of mind. if you were happy before you lent your shoes but then being generous and giving them away actually mucked up your usual routine it could have just put your mind in a different place. I always think "theres not going to be anyone good to dance with, or ill dance badly" and it usually happens. Sometimes i think its me not allowing myself to see the night as a possible good night.

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    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Rescuing a bad night: when your shoes have a better time than you do!

    Sometimes it's a fine line in dancing - if you're in a bit of a weird mood, then dancing can either cheer you up, or it can put you into a more depressed state.

    A lot of it is to do with confidence - if you're generally confident, you're more likely to shrug off problems. If you're feeling hesitant, you're more likely to take a few things more personally.

    One tip: if you're in a fragile state, try to make sure that your first few dances are with a known, good dancer, because the first few dances often set the tone for the rest of the evening.

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    Re: Rescuing a bad night: when your shoes have a better time than you do!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    .

    One tip: if you're in a fragile state, try to make sure that your first few dances are with a known, good dancer, because the first few dances often set the tone for the rest of the evening.

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    Senior Member zimbabwean's Avatar
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    Re: Rescuing a bad night: when your shoes have a better time than you do!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post

    One tip: if you're in a fragile state, try to make sure that your first few dances are with a known, good dancer, because the first few dances often set the tone for the rest of the evening.
    Just been agreed by my best mate Ascot Lady

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    Re: Rescuing a bad night: when your shoes have a better time than you do!

    First off - have a EL. What an awful experience you had. How dare somebody walk off the dance floor. That is so rude and so disrespectful. It is three minutes of their life.

    When a night isn't going too well it becomes a nasty cycle. You (not you EL - all of us) sit lots of tracks out because you are not asked and you don't have the confidence to go and ask and then when you do dance again you are cold. This leads to a not so great dance which adds to your 'this is cr@p and I am cr@p' belief.

    The best thing to do is take a break. Go outside. Go upstairs - just get away from the dancing. Only head back to the dance floor when you are feeling more positive. Another option is to grab your regular partner and say 'just dance with me'. This usually leads to a great dance which boosts your confidence and makes you feel better.

    You really do have to take control and make the night work for you.

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    Re: Rescuing a bad night: when your shoes have a better time than you do!

    I'm totally off MJ at the moment, and have been for a while. I wasn't really looking forward to any of the Christmas freestyles I'd bought tickets for but then I thought, "well, at least dancing has given me a huge group of really nice friends, I'll just enjoy their company." So I spent time catching up and chatting and enjoyed all the events, but not because of the dancing

    I'm finally looking forward to dancing again at Skeggie, the first time since the 20th December. If it's true that absence makes the heart grow fonder I should fall in love with dancing again (well it is Valentine's weekend!), but if not I know I'm going to have a great time catching up with people I haven't seen since Southport.

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    Registered User DundeeDancer's Avatar
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    Re: Rescuing a bad night: when your shoes have a better time than you do!

    you do have some fun nights out, don't you Easily Lead...

    All that drama for the small price of an entrance fee to a Ceroc party, it's got to be a bargain!

    The bloke who you had the bad dance with must have thought you had some fancy foot work as he referred to you as a westie (West Coast Swing dancer), they do loads of nifty foot work which makes them look like they are floating on air, so in a strange way he gave you a compliment.

    Mind you he was a bit of a kn*b for ending the dance early. At least he reckonised the fact and tried to patch things up.

    occasionally when I'm having a bad night I do a few things:-
    Socialize more
    Chill out and just watch the better dancers dance
    Seek out people I know I'll have a fun dance with

    If someone asks me to dance I'll say something like "Sure but I'm having an off night so don't expect to much", take any pressure I'm feeling off my shoulders and I think I dance better for it.

    Better luck in the future!

    Best wishes DD

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