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Thread: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

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    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
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    "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    So many times at the end of a night you hear the words spoken that form the title of this thread. Lory mentioned in a recent Utopia review about looking round at the end of the night and ruing all the people she'd missed out on that she wanted to dance with. I don't understand this way of thinking. I never have a hit list of people that I must dance with if I see them at the same venue. This is not to say there are not lots of people with whom I enjoy dancing because there are but I don't feel that I must dance with X, Y or Z and I don't feel my evening has suffered if I look around at the end of the night and see A, B and C whom I haven't danced with. I am certain I have spoken the words "I didn't get a dance with you tonight" in the past but in truth that was probably what I felt I should say to somebody rather than what I genuinely felt. There are probably 2 people whom I would do my best to secure a dance with if they were at the same venue as me but I know that's almost entirely because I hardly ever see them so I have to make the most of that limited opportunity and I can understand if, say, Franck is down to London that the ladies would be very keen to get a dance and disappointed if they didn't manage it given the limited opportunity to see him but that's not the kind of thing I am thinking of.

    So I guess what I'd like to know is if I am alone in thinking this way. Do you have a hit-list when you go out dancing? Is your dance card already full of potential partners? Do you feel disappointed at the end of the night if you see people that you like dancing with that you have missed that evening?

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    I don't have a hit list, or a dance card, but when I go somewhere and see people that I really like dancing with or that I feel a real connection with on the dance floor, I do my best to dance with them and I am disappointed at the end of the night if I miss them. Similarly, if I see someone at the end of the night and didn't realise they were there, I rue the missed opportunity. It's like discovering that your favourite band were in town, playing a one off gig. Last night!

    I think it's different for women, because they have much more competition for good dances. There aren't that many really good male leads, so it's harder for them to feel that connection. Men, on the other hand, (well, me, anyway) get a buzz either from dancing with a really good partner or a really hot girl, whether she can dance or not. Everyone knows how to grind!
    Last edited by Filthy Monkey; 20th-November-2008 at 12:39 PM.

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    I get this all the time. And I think it a lot too. When you're dancing there's a blur of potential partners and you have to react quickly to those around you. At the end of the night you spot people who you've missed - it's quite natural to feel that you'd like to have danced with those ones you've missed.

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    I agree with Andy, and I believe that most of the time the comment that is the title of this thread is not meant as a remonstration of "you didn't dance with me" but more of a compliment of "I'm sorry we didn't dance because I would have loved to have danced with you". Knowing that someone wanted to dance with you is always complimentary IMO.

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    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    Lory mentioned in a recent Utopia review about looking round at the end of the night and ruing all the people she'd missed out on that she wanted to dance with.
    I didn't mean it in a 'desperately sad' way. In fact quite the opposite.

    I was pointing out, that due to the fact that there were so many good dancers (and friends) there and the fact I was 'thankfully' kept very busy (with fabulous dances) that I just didn't get to stop long enough to actually take in, 'who' was there, until the lights went on.

    In no way did I mean I'd had a bad night
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    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    Quote Originally Posted by Sparkles View Post
    Knowing that someone wanted to dance with you is always complimentary IMO.
    too!
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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    I find this quite often at parties - does not detract from the dances I have had or the night's fun; I would not swap any dances I have had for ones I missed out on. It's just that if the night had gone on longer I would have had more dances and would like to have danced with more people I hadn't danced with that night

    Occasionally I see someone on the floor and think "I must get a dance with them", but the Brownian motion of dancers has never resulted in our paths crossing at the time when I'm looking for a dancer and they are free :shrug: Lights go up - "I didn't get a dance with you tonight." Next event I see them in I will try and make sure I get a dance with them. {assuming I remember }

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    What if it's 'I didn't get a dance with you tonight. Thank God'

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    Quote Originally Posted by Cruella View Post
    What if it's 'I didn't get a dance with you tonight. Thank God'
    Sometimes the last bit is in my "think bubble"

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    Surely if you didn't have time to dance with certain people, it meant that you were so busy dancing with others that you didn't have the opportunity, which in turn shows that you had a good evening. I have often noticed people at the end of the night not even knowing they had been there, and if I had, one of the dances that I had had that evening would have had to have not happened in order for me to have danced with them, does that make sense or am I rambling?

    Can't regret it just catch 'em next time

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay Jay View Post
    Surely if you didn't have time to dance with certain people, it meant that you were so busy dancing with others that you didn't have the opportunity, which in turn shows that you had a good evening.
    I often say this, but its not that I have a hit list, its that at the end of the night I walk past someone and realise I haven't noticed them or simply didn't get round to asking them, or was thinking of asking them but got asked first and didn't see them again.

    It just means 'I would liked to have danced with you' and 'lets have a dance next time'. It implies an enjoyment of dancing with them and an expectation of pleasure the next time you dance.

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    I never have a hit list, but I do find myself watching very closely in the first hour or so for people that I think would be great to dance with then I do try my best to connect with them.

    I am often intercepted on the way to someone I'm 'targetting' so frequently find that any plans I've had simply don't hold out.

    Shame on me but I have thought to myself thank god on a couple of occasions when told 'we didn't manage to dance together'

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    Quote Originally Posted by Filthy Monkey View Post

    Men, on the other hand, (well, me, anyway) get a buzz either from dancing with a really good partner or a really hot girl, whether she can dance or not. Everyone knows how to grind!
    I hoped to bag you on Tuesday for a grinding lesson.

    I know how to grind, but my style may be OTT for a MJ venue and I need to learn the socially accepted version.

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    Quote Originally Posted by Astro View Post
    I hoped to bag you on Tuesday for a grinding lesson.

    I know how to grind, but my style may be OTT for a MJ venue and I need to learn the socially accepted version.
    And you expect him to teach you a "socially accepted version?"

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    And you expect him to teach you a "socially accepted version?"
    Do you think they dry f*** at ceroc?

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    Quote Originally Posted by Astro View Post
    Do you think they dry f*** at ceroc?
    MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    I only get this if say at a big venue - daventry etc - and i didn't realise people were there etc..

    if i really want a dance with someone that much i will stalk them and hunt them down if i know they are there

    i do think that sometimes i get wrapped up in my fave dancers and can forget other people are there

    xx

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    I'll say that for all sorts of reasons. I'll say it to shy dancers on one of those nights were I didn't get to ask anyone in the hope they'll ask me next time. I'll say it to reaffirm the fact that I would have loved to dance with someone but I didn't get the chance so I hope to find them the next time.

    For people you don't see it's probably with a hint of sadness that I won't get the chance for some time to come. For people I see regularly (oh wait, that doesn't happen any more :smallestviolin: ) it's a hopeful "get me next time".

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    I don’t really worry about the dances I didn’t have, I prefer to reflect on the dances I enjoyed at the end of the evening. It is really hard to dance with everyone and like Caz I have been guilty of stalking/sharking someone that I really want to dance with, so be warned

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    Re: "I didn't get a dance with you tonight"

    There are people that I really enjoy dancing with and as I don't frequent classes and freestyles as much as I would like to I would be disappointed if I had missed an opportunity to dance with them when I see them but I don't go out armed with a hit-list.

    At a recent weekender I spotted someone that I enjoyed dancing with and when we bumped into each other I said that I had been looking for him as a way of breaking the ice, he accused me very loudly of being a stalker which I found really funny but vaguely unsettling.

    Has anyone else every been accused of being a stalker on the dancefloor (sounds like a Sophie Ellis-Bextor song) or has anyone ever felt stalked when dancing?

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