Page 1 of 3 123 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 54

Thread: 'fess up guys - How do you decide who to ask for a dance?

  1. #1
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Posts
    889
    Rep Power
    12

    'fess up guys - How do you decide who to ask for a dance?

    1.Do you use any formula for who to ask for dances through the night?

    2.Do you just wait for ladies to ask you?

    3.How do you avoid offending people by not managing to dance with them?

    My current 'formula' is probably along the following lines . . .
    (Part one) I think, "Mmmm . . . she's nice . . ."

    Thinking 'she's nice' may be down to a million and one things, eg
    • what a lovely dancer (watching her dance with someone else)
    • what a lovely smile
    • she looks like she's enjoying this record (if it's one I like)
    • what lovely hair
    • nice shoes
    • feeling a radiant personality
    • nice chat, or nice lead and follow experience last time we danced
    • seems to like something I like
    • what lovely hands
    • sexy!
    • would like to speak to her but dancing seems more appropriate
    • physical proximity to where I'm standing / eye contact
    It gives me the beginning of a way of relating, a curiosity about that person, something to build on in the dance.

    . . .There's also the "oh how nice to see you" thing of course, but that's more just 'social' dancing than a new 'conversation in movement' . . .

    (Part two) If I get the feeling of "you're nice too . . ." I go and ask her for a dance . . .

    Of course, by that time, someone else might have asked, or someone's grabbed me - or I'm not sure if the vibe's returned (in which case I move on)
    Does that ring any bells with anyone else?

    Just imagine, if you walked into a cocktail party, or a bar, where you wanted to interact with people, would you make some decisions that felt good and resulted in productive or meaningful conversations (even if brief)? I suppose it's continuing the dance is a conversation between two people idea isn't it . . . ?

    Or my 'old' formula (largely abandoned):
    • dance with some mates or 'dance buddies'
    • dance with a few new people
    • dance with a few beginners
    • dance with a people I've not seen for ages
    • dance with one or two people who nobody else seems to be dancing with

    Sometimes when the ladies outnumber the guys heavily it can be very hard - there's less interaction cos the ladies are pleased to get a guy (any guy with a pulse!)

    There's always someone I feel I've maybe offended by not dancing with them - but I do make a certain type of effort and wonder what other people's approach is?

    And what about ladies - how do you decide who to ask? If it's a small venue you can probably get round all the guys (if you want to) - but what about the nights where you're spoilt for choice? What makes you think, "I'll go up and ask him", ? or do you work it the other way (ie least worst options)?

  2. #2
    Registered User Twinkle Toes's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2003
    Location
    House mostly
    Posts
    305
    Rep Power
    11

    Re: 'fess up guys - How do you decide who to ask for a dance?

    Originally posted by Chris
    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz

    ...... ooops sorry, dropped off for a mo!

    oh yes the answer,

    "oh, that's a good record, where is there a free man"

    TT

  3. #3
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Posts
    889
    Rep Power
    12

    Re: Re: 'fess up guys - How do you decide who to ask for a dance?

    Originally posted by Twinkle Toes
    ZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzz
    ...... ooops sorry, dropped off for a mo!
    oh yes the answer,
    "oh, that's a good record, where is there a free man"
    TT

  4. #4
    Registered User Forte's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    near Perth
    Posts
    569
    Rep Power
    11

    Re: Re: 'fess up guys - How do you decide who to ask for a dance?

    Originally posted by Twinkle Toes
    "oh, that's a good record, where is there a free man"

    TT
    I am with you on this one Twinkle Toes! My criteria exactly: "Who's free?"

  5. #5
    Registered User horsey_dude's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    Wellington
    Posts
    226
    Rep Power
    11

    I'm so shallow....

    I will dance with people who ask (unless I hate the music), but if I don't like them e.g. arm wrencher, no sense of timing, won't even try to follow, abused me in class, looks around the room for someone else to dance with (while we are dancing) then I will avoid them.

    Because I dont know so many people, I watch to see if I can find someone who looks like they are a good dancer and ask them (only if the music is good). If I havn't had time to see who is good I look for someone who is a similar height to me (not to much taller or shorter) who has good dancing shoes and clothes (pants,or not too long skirt, top thats not too baggy or with extra long sleeves) and ask them.

    Once I have had two or three good dances (can be quite far into the freestyle depending on the venue) I will ask people who have been standing out for a while/look nervous/are obviously a beginner etc.

    As far as avoiding goes, just don't make eye contact with people you don't want to dance with. If I walk up to ask someone and they look like they are waiting for another person to finish their dance or turn away from me when I approach then I assume they are not interested and ask someone else.

  6. #6
    Registered User Divissima's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2002
    Posts
    1,461
    Blog Entries
    8
    Rep Power
    11
    I don't really have a formula for the men I ask to dance. Being a lady, and having been a regular at a few venues now, I am occasionally so blessed as to dance the whole night with men who have asked me to dance (although this may be to do with my tactic of rushing up to favourite regular partners and squealing 'pick me! pick me!' ). But if I'm not dancing a track and would like to dance (ie am not resting or otherwise in need of a comfort break), I tend to look around for men who are watching the dancing (so not chatting to someone) and are on their feet (although I will ask men who are sitting down if they look like they wish they had the nerve to ask a stranger to dance). It is easier when I have done the class because I will have had a chance to dance with several men I don't know and will be vaguely familiar to them.

    Or if I spot someone I've seen dancing before but have never actually met or danced with (I did this to Anthony - Punkfish - last week and he looked initially a bit worried when I rushed up to him and said I'd been wanting a dance with him for ages). Of course, there are some men I still wouldn't quite have the nerve to ask - Viktor, for example, although he is so lovely and I have danced with him in the past, just a little in awe of him so need to get over that!

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Cruden Bay (Aberde
    Posts
    7,053
    Rep Power
    13
    Not exactly a formula as such, more a 'priority scoring' type of thing...
    +20 - they ask me to dance
    +10 - I have never danced with them before.
    +8 - they have requested a dance during the lesson
    +5 - I have not danced with them this evening.
    +3 - I know their style matches the current music
    +2 - they are actively trolling
    +2 - they have sat the last track out
    +1 - they are watching the dance floor
    +1 - they are sitting alone
    -2 - talking to their mates
    -3 - I don't like their style
    -5 - if I have already danced with them this evening.
    -10 - I have already danced twice with them this evening.

    I can't think on anything else that would sway my decision - dress, appearance and shoes have very little influence on deciding to dance with someone. {Note - this is not saying I do not fully appreciate accentuating, sparkly, revealing, slinky, sexy dresses (or any combination of the above ,) and the bodies/smiles that inhabit them. }

  8. #8
    Papa Smurf
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Planet Scathe
    Posts
    12,528
    Blog Entries
    6
    Rep Power
    18
    Hmm I thought you just picked people you enjoyed dancing with or when they're busy, anyone who's not already dancing .

    I thought Chris was over analyzing something that most people dont analyze at all, but trust Gadget to go one better and introduce a scoring system.

  9. #9
    Registered User ChrisA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3,830
    Rep Power
    11
    Originally posted by Gadget
    +2 - they are actively trolling
    What on earth is trolling?

    Chris

  10. #10
    B.T.C.
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    North Queensferry
    Posts
    2,161
    Rep Power
    12
    A smile

    I usually don't sit out enough to watch people dancing so when a track starts I either ask someone who is close or look around and if a woman is smiling and looks as if she might want to dance then I'll ask.

    I've avoided a couple of women only because they have just come off the floor and look as if they might want a rest before heading back on.

    If it's a favourite track then I'll try and make sure I get Fran/Laura/Lorna/Lisa/Sheena etc etc.....

    but regardless of what someoen is wearing ( and some outfits will attract more attention than others) it's the smile that really does it.

  11. #11
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Cruden Bay (Aberde
    Posts
    7,053
    Rep Power
    13
    Originally posted by ChrisA
    What on earth is trolling?
    "Trolling" is a term used to describe the action of "Activly seeking a dance partner".
    It's like "Sharking", but not as subtle and with less small talk.

  12. #12
    Registered User jiveoholic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Basingstoke
    Posts
    161
    Rep Power
    12
    I try to grab the ones who are hiding in the corner, thinking they are safe - especially if they are new. The look on their faces when you say "may I have the pleasure of a dance" and the smirks on the faces of their friends is worth it alone!

    Actually - crap music I wont dance to. That eliminates half the evening!

    I suppose in reality, I segment my dances into three, those around me, newbies and good dancers.

  13. #13
    Registered User ChrisA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3,830
    Rep Power
    11
    Originally posted by Gadget
    "Trolling" is a term used to describe the action of "Activly seeking a dance partner".
    Ah.

    Strange word, it sounds a bit pejorative.

    Somebody care to define sharking? Is it like grincing ???

    Trollster.

  14. #14
    Registered User ChrisA's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Posts
    3,830
    Rep Power
    11
    Originally posted by jiveoholic
    Actually - crap music I wont dance to. That eliminates half the evening!
    Such as ??

  15. #15
    Registered User jiveoholic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    Basingstoke
    Posts
    161
    Rep Power
    12
    Originally posted by ChrisA
    Such as ??
    Gosh - that has put me on the spot! Music is a personal taste and I have to admit that I just do not try and remember the names of music I do NOT like, its all I can do to remember the names of the tracks of music I DO like.

    Personally, a find that a tune helps. I like good rhythm to, good rick'n'roll beat or a swing. Harmony is helpful too. Now what music has all three?!

    Seriously, I find that all but the best swing does nothing for me, I like all rock'n'roll. There does seem a lot of modern music that is more suitable for wall papering to than dancing, little "umf" to get into.

    Modern music do like follows the trend of the Mavericks, No Mercy, Shania Twain etc.

  16. #16
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Cruden Bay (Aberde
    Posts
    7,053
    Rep Power
    13
    Originally posted by ChrisA
    Somebody care to define sharking? Is it like grincing ???

    Trollster.
    "Trolling" is actually fishing with a lure/bait dragged behind a boat.
    It's also a term used when baiting people on newsgroups with inaccurate information.

    But in my mind, I see it as a more active role; the big troll from Harry Potter walking allong, dragging his club. "Ug, Dance" ... <Thump> ... <drag>"
    So I suppose it is 'pejorative'.:sorry:

    Sharking is generally done in night-clubs where the shark smells fresh meat from accross a crowded dance floor and homes-in to devour it. The actual act of sharking is recognised the slow prowl of the shark; moving through the shoals of people, looking for a scent. A quick and definite purpose in movement when they pick up on a target, bearing down on them; all white teeth in a dangerous smile.
    Sharks are generally quite sleek and focused on their target, but normally have ulterior motives . Trolls just pick a target and club them. Simple.

    {ug}

  17. #17
    Omnipotent Moderator Tiggerbabe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2002
    Location
    Dundee, United Kin
    Posts
    5,844
    Rep Power
    10
    Originally posted by Gadget
    "Trolling" is actually fishing with a lure/bait dragged behind a boat.
    ah!!! I thought that was
    "trawling"........Heather !!!!!!!!

    Trolling did conjure up an image of some huge hairy "thing" leaping out from under a bridge, shouting "I'm a troll foll - de - roll............fancy a dance before I eat you?"
    Happens to me a lot - guess I'll need to stop this dancing on bridges lark
    "If you rebel against high heels, take care to do so in a very smart hat.'' George Bernard Shaw

  18. #18
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2002
    Location
    Cruden Bay (Aberde
    Posts
    7,053
    Rep Power
    13
    Originally posted by Sheena
    ah!!! I thought that was
    "trawling"........Heather !!!!!!!!
    Nope - that's dragging a net behind the boad, not bait.

  19. #19
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Leeds
    Posts
    1,596
    Rep Power
    11

    Re: Re: 'fess up guys - How do you decide who to ask for a dance?

    Originally posted by Twinkle Toes

    "oh, that's a good record, where is there a free man"

    TT
    That's my way too. I also fit the man to the record ie. ucp/fast/slow or whatever. That is, of course, always providing I get to him first

  20. #20
    Registered User Forte's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2003
    Location
    near Perth
    Posts
    569
    Rep Power
    11
    Originally posted by Gadget
    "Trolling" is actually fishing with a lure/bait dragged behind a boat.
    It's also a term used when baiting people on newsgroups with inaccurate information.

    But in my mind, I see it as a more active role; the big troll from Harry Potter walking allong, dragging his club. "Ug, Dance" ... <Thump> ... <drag>"
    So I suppose it is 'pejorative'.:sorry:

    Sharking is generally done in night-clubs where the shark smells fresh meat from accross a crowded dance floor and homes-in to devour it. The actual act of sharking is recognised the slow prowl of the shark; moving through the shoals of people, looking for a scent. A quick and definite purpose in movement when they pick up on a target, bearing down on them; all white teeth in a dangerous smile.
    Sharks are generally quite sleek and focused on their target, but normally have ulterior motives . Trolls just pick a target and club them. Simple.

    {ug}
    What a writer you are. Wanna sit your standard Grade creative writing test with S4 again? I'd give you one.

    (That is one as in a top grade, gadget! A grade!!!)

Thread Information

Users Browsing this Thread

There are currently 1 users browsing this thread. (0 members and 1 guests)

Similar Threads

  1. Guys, do you ask ladies to dance?
    By Lory in forum Let's talk about dance
    Replies: 36
    Last Post: 20th-February-2007, 07:31 PM
  2. Ladies, do you ask guys to dance?
    By Patrick in forum Let's talk about dance
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: 23rd-September-2006, 09:24 AM
  3. Guys, do you ask guys to dance?
    By straycat in forum Let's talk about dance
    Replies: 30
    Last Post: 12th-September-2006, 09:21 AM
  4. I can't decide...
    By David Bailey in forum Social events
    Replies: 69
    Last Post: 8th-September-2005, 11:51 AM
  5. I can't decide
    By Lou in forum test messages
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 13th-May-2005, 10:50 PM

Tags for this Thread

Bookmarks

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •