1.Do you use any formula for who to ask for dances through the night?
2.Do you just wait for ladies to ask you?
3.How do you avoid offending people by not managing to dance with them?
My current 'formula' is probably along the following lines . . .
(Part one) I think, "Mmmm . . . she's nice . . ."
Thinking 'she's nice' may be down to a million and one things, egIt gives me the beginning of a way of relating, a curiosity about that person, something to build on in the dance.
- what a lovely dancer (watching her dance with someone else)
- what a lovely smile
- she looks like she's enjoying this record (if it's one I like)
- what lovely hair
- nice shoes
- feeling a radiant personality
- nice chat, or nice lead and follow experience last time we danced
- seems to like something I like
- what lovely hands
- sexy!
- would like to speak to her but dancing seems more appropriate
- physical proximity to where I'm standing / eye contact
. . .There's also the "oh how nice to see you" thing of course, but that's more just 'social' dancing than a new 'conversation in movement' . . .
(Part two) If I get the feeling of "you're nice too . . ." I go and ask her for a dance . . .
Of course, by that time, someone else might have asked, or someone's grabbed me - or I'm not sure if the vibe's returned (in which case I move on)
Does that ring any bells with anyone else?
Just imagine, if you walked into a cocktail party, or a bar, where you wanted to interact with people, would you make some decisions that felt good and resulted in productive or meaningful conversations (even if brief)? I suppose it's continuing the dance is a conversation between two people idea isn't it . . . ?
Or my 'old' formula (largely abandoned):
- dance with some mates or 'dance buddies'
- dance with a few new people
- dance with a few beginners
- dance with a people I've not seen for ages
- dance with one or two people who nobody else seems to be dancing with
Sometimes when the ladies outnumber the guys heavily it can be very hard - there's less interaction cos the ladies are pleased to get a guy (any guy with a pulse!)
There's always someone I feel I've maybe offended by not dancing with them - but I do make a certain type of effort and wonder what other people's approach is?
And what about ladies - how do you decide who to ask? If it's a small venue you can probably get round all the guys (if you want to) - but what about the nights where you're spoilt for choice? What makes you think, "I'll go up and ask him", ? or do you work it the other way (ie least worst options)?
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