I've read this thread with interest.
As a reasonably experienced follower (though not a taxi dancer), I often take the leader's role in class, though only if there is an excess of women.
I understand some women may feel uncomfortable at the idea of dancing with me, and if they wanted to change places with another woman in order to avoid me I wouldn't take it personally.
However the main issue in the example given in the OP appeared to me to be one of rudeness.
Live and let live, just don't tread on other people's feelings
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