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Thread: Lady leaders in the line-up

  1. #81
    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: Lady leaders in the line-up

    Have to admit I'd never thought of a woman being annoyed at another woman being in the line up in a class. I'd have just thought they'd be glad that there were less ladies moving on. I did lead in beginner classes for a good while and never encountered any ladies who seemed unhappy at my being there as a lead.

    But then I dance with Drathzel every week so I'm pretty used to dancing with a female lead. She's an excellent lead and local classes are therefore used to see her dancing as lead so maybe that makes it more comfortable for them? Perhaps the teacher and others can set the 'culture' of the class that its OK for women to lead?

  2. #82
    Not a spoon! Lou's Avatar
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    Re: Lady leaders in the line-up

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin View Post
    Women in general are less vocal than men
    Indeed. We're famous for it.

  3. #83
    Registered User killingtime's Avatar
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    Re: Lady leaders in the line-up

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
    But then I dance with Drathzel every week so I'm pretty used to dancing with a female lead. She's an excellent lead and local classes are therefore used to see her dancing as lead so maybe that makes it more comfortable for them? Perhaps the teacher and others can set the 'culture' of the class that its OK for women to lead?
    Well that's it entirely. Drawing attention to it being out of the norm creates the feeling that it is something strange. If people do it all the time then most people are fine with it. It should be ok for women to lead, men to follow, everyone to be just fine with dancing with each other (for the 2 minutes in rotation I don't really see what a big deal it is) and we need to work toward that being accepted not shun it like it's some sort of taboo.

  4. #84
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    Re: Lady leaders in the line-up

    Quote Originally Posted by jeanie View Post
    she openly critised my leading to me, dented my confidence and even now I'm still paranoid about my tension. She was quite rude to me, and even after I pointed out I was learning to lead it didn't seem to make her attitude any better. (I don't mind being told I could do with improvement but there are nicer ways to do it).
    I'll dance with you sweetie, you're a fab lead!

  5. #85
    Taxi Dancer Hevmac's Avatar
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    Re: Lady leaders in the line-up

    yes jeanie. i agree with batnurse.
    don't let it put you off.
    i just wonder are we not getting a bit over pc??
    i mean i agree perhaps the teacher could explain on the occasions that there are ladies leading to help out with numbers but i just think it could end up getting silly.....

  6. #86
    Lovely Moderator ducasi's Avatar
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    Re: Lady leaders in the line-up

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin View Post
    Some ladies are put out, dancing with a lady in rotation.
    Everyone wants beginners to come back, so let's not put off beginners who expected to be dancing modern dance with someone of the opposite sex.
    I'm not an organiser, but if I were, I'd rather see beginner ladies not come back because they were forced to "dance" with another lady, than lose one of my more experienced ladies who is prepared to help out during a class.
    Let your mind go and your body will follow. – Steve Martin, LA Story

  7. #87
    Registered User John S's Avatar
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    Re: Lady leaders in the line-up

    Quote Originally Posted by batnurse View Post
    I'll dance with you sweetie, you're a fab lead!
    Jeanie - Never mind Nursie - you lead, I'll follow!

    Frankly this thread must be about the most overblown piece of nonsense on the forum since, oh, about yesterday.

    Someone, somewhere remembers an occasional lady who on some occasion may or may not have been overly happy about an individual dance with some other lady, and so the whole of the existing MJ culture and class arrangements have to be changed??? I think not.

  8. #88
    Registered User Petal's Avatar
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    Re: Lady leaders in the line-up

    Quote Originally Posted by ant View Post
    I


    However I have been to classes where ladies are leading and there are more men than women. As far as I am concerned what Martin has said above is spot on.
    .
    I only lead as a taxi when there are too many women, the majority of women seem to be ok with it, some, just by their expressions are obviously uncomfortable,(as i was when i first started dancing) especially if it's their first night, and i just make light of it and say "you've got a pretend man this time" and it usually makes it bearable for them. If the balance changes during the class, as it has recently, i will revert to being a follower and let a man take my place.

    I try to dance with the beginners, men and women, to try to boost their confidence, but also dance freestyle as lead with female friends or females who ask me to dance cos its fun.

  9. #89
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Lady leaders in the line-up

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
    But then I dance with Drathzel every week
    now your just boasting I think most of us would like to dance with drathzel every week


    Quote Originally Posted by Martin View Post
    Women in general are less vocal than men
    Quote Originally Posted by Lou View Post
    Indeed. We're famous for it.
    yeah ok

  10. #90
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    Re: Lady leaders in the line-up

    Firstly, nobody, ever, anywhere, should be forced to dance with anyone, ever, anywhere. Dancers who do not want to dance with the person they have been randomly paired with in class rotation should say so, quietly and politely. Together, the mismatched couple can watch and listen until it is time to rotate again. This applies regardless of gender.

    Secondly, I can reassure all the guys here that, in this lifetime, they will never be a woman who is paired in the rotation with another woman and, as a result, put in a situation where they feel uncomfortable. The fact that various men would be uncomfortable is completely irrelevant to this thread. We should shut up about it or get a new thread.

    Thirdly, beginner dancers come with all kinds of crazy false presumptions, and a big part of attending your first class is adjusting those presumptions to match reality. Dancers in modern jive in the uk are going to have to adjust to female-female dancing being a common part of the scene, just like they'll have to adjust to a shortage of sequins and men who aren't gay and whatever else they might not have expected.

  11. #91
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    Re: Lady leaders in the line-up

    Quote Originally Posted by MartinHarper View Post
    Thirdly, beginner dancers come with all kinds of crazy false presumptions, and a big part of attending your first class is adjusting those presumptions to match reality. Dancers in modern jive in the uk are going to have to adjust to female-female dancing being a common part of the scene, just like they'll have to adjust to a shortage of sequins and men who aren't gay and whatever else they might not have expected.
    A newbie recently asked me 'Why are those two men dancing together?' Trying to explain that two men dancing together doesn't automatically make them gay or because they wanted to dance together didn't seem to comprehend to this guy. Especially 'when there all those women sitting out'

    However it was perfectly acceptable for two women to dance together regardless of the amount of men sitting out or whether they were straight/gay.....

  12. #92
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Lady leaders in the line-up

    Quote Originally Posted by MartinHarper View Post
    Firstly, nobody, ever, anywhere, should be forced to dance with anyone, ever, anywhere. Dancers who do not want to dance with the person they have been randomly paired with in class rotation should say so, quietly and politely. Together, the mismatched couple can watch and listen until it is time to rotate again. This applies regardless of gender.

    Secondly, I can reassure all the guys here that, in this lifetime, they will never be a woman who is paired in the rotation with another woman and, as a result, put in a situation where they feel uncomfortable. The fact that various men would be uncomfortable is completely irrelevant to this thread. We should shut up about it or get a new thread.

    Thirdly, beginner dancers come with all kinds of crazy false presumptions, and a big part of attending your first class is adjusting those presumptions to match reality. Dancers in modern jive in the uk are going to have to adjust to female-female dancing being a common part of the scene, just like they'll have to adjust to a shortage of sequins and men who aren't gay and whatever else they might not have expected.
    To be honest i agree with everything you have said here martin
    only thing is if you think we should shut up about why did you reserect a thread that hasn't been aired for over two months

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