Hot off the press for all of you "it's an appalling American tradition" moaners:
The practice of dressing up in costumes and begging door to door for treats on holidays dates back to the Middle Ages and includes Christmas wassailing. Trick-or-treating resembles the late medieval practice of souling, when poor folk would go door to door on Hallowmas (November 1), receiving food in return for prayers for the dead on All Souls Day (November 2). It originated in Ireland and Britain, although similar practices for the souls of the dead were found as far south as Italy. Shakespeare mentions the practice in his comedy The Two Gentlemen of Verona (1593), when Speed accuses his master of "puling [whimpering or whining] like a beggar at Hallowmas."
So. Now you know it's a medieval British tradition, and your xenophobic psudo-indignation will no longer be able to cover up your tightness. Will you be more inclined next year to join in with the traditions of your forefathers and stump up £1:50's worth of shurbert dipdabs for the local four year olds? Or will you still be a terrified quivering wreck behind your sofa, paralysed by the fear of a five year old playing a trick on you? Perhaps you'll still call the police demanding that they lock these terrorists away (oblivious to the fact that a child under eight is unable to be prosecuted for a serious offence - let alone one as petty as begging for sweets and cheating you out of 10p of your tuck money).
I do understand the concern to be fair. I saw a child who must have been at least five or six dressed as a ghost, carrying an Asda plastic pumpkin lantern and I nearly sh|t myself in fear. Thankfully the downstairs was all locked and double bolted and the boiling chip frier oil launched from the bedroom window hit the target and worked as planned. Leaving me with the peace and quiet I needed to finish writing my letter to the Daily Mail
Dear Daily Mail,
I am sick of being held a prisoner in my own home by these five year old paedophile, illegal immigrant, refugee, terrorist, dole scroungers demanding (with menace I may add) a small jelly confection shaped for some ungodly reason as a fried egg. I have repeatedly dialed 999 only to be told that "it's Halloween" and to show some "tolerance". If the boot camp was on the other hand would Osama Bin La.........
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