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Thread: A warning to women!

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    A warning to women!

    Well i must say, the ads just lately have made me think twice about where i walk and whom i walk with.

    The name of the game is that women should treat 5pm now as 8pm and be very wary about where they go, when they go and how isolated they leave themselves now the nights are earlier and darker quicker.

    They also advise not to use the mobile when walking the streets.

    What would you do if you felt you were being followed or could be in trouble. I think i would head for the nearest lit house and just ring the bell..... its scary though isn't it. I have, thank goodness, never experienced anything scary like being followed or felt threatened in anyway ( i think because its reverse role for me) but have you... what did you do... what would ya do.???

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    Registered User Gojive's Avatar
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    Re: A warning to women!

    I think this is an excellant topic to bring up, especially in light of the fact that the dance scene probably has many more women than usual, going to/leaving an event in darkness on their own

    From a man's pov, if I find myself following a woman (simply 'cause we're both walking the same direction), I cross to the opposite side of the road, rather than walk up behind her.

    I have a stack of things I could say that might help, but tbh I'm not sure my advice would be the best - perhaps someone like Under Par might be valuable to this thread?

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    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: A warning to women!

    What ads?

    Whilst I'm always careful, I refuse to let myself be scared into not going out and having a life. Mind you, when I think about when I was younger and used to go out most nights and regularly come home more than a tad the worse for wear...

    Treat 5pm as 8pm?! So, does that mean we're "asking for it" if we go out to work all day then?

    I think that I've been followed a couple of times. Fortunately it's never amounted to anything. The last time, I was waiting at Oxford Circus for a bus, standing near the wall and this funny little chap squeezed himself into the space between where I was waiting and chatting with my friend (it was about 10pm, we'd been out for dinner). And then he stared at us - from about 1 ft away. He then got onto the bus with me, and sat next to me, almost leaning into me - I had my headphones on and turned right away from him and ignored him. Then he got off at the same stop as me (though I'd walked up the other end of the bus to get off), and I saw him staring intently into a shop window... I set off as fast as I could and turned a couple of corners, then made a big show of checking to cross the road so as to look back to see if he was there, but I'd lost him. I called my friend when I'd got home, and she'd thought he was very strange too. Still not 100% sure if he was following me, or if it was just a coincidence... but it did unnerve me, despite the fact that he was very small and skinny, and I could probably have squashed him with my thumb!

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    What ads?


    Treat 5pm as 8pm?! So, does that mean we're "asking for it" if we go out to work all day then?

    !
    no i think what they mean by this is, even though its early in the evening.. treat it as though its later because the risk is just as great.

    Somebody i know daughter was raped and viciously attacked walking home from work at 5pm on a weekday on a busy road. She was dragged into somebody's garden and violated repeatedly for a few hours at knifepoint.

    He was caught as he started following her from the train station and was identified from CCTV. He was sentanced and killed himself in prison but the point still remains that with the darkness comes more risk and just cause its early in the evening and your in a busy area,, does not mean your safe..

    think thats what they mean anyway.

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    Registered User Villemo's Avatar
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    Re: A warning to women!

    I think I scare the guys more than they scare me...

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Thanks for the advice Trouble...as a woman who works in the field right across the UK, I'm usually on my own on the road, going to dance venues, etc. My work arranged a self defence training course, for both men and women, that was really good and certainly gave me more confidence.

    My advice is to lock the car doors if you're driving on your own - I had a man try and open my drivers side door two years ago while I was waiting at traffic lights on a dark November night in North Wales, it was scarey but as he couldn't get in he quickly scarpered. I was angry and quite frightened!

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Quote Originally Posted by Villemo View Post
    I think I scare the guys more than they scare me...
    Hmmm...possibly.

    Which one in the photo is you - the one in yellow, or the one in purple?

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    Re: A warning to women!

    I normally walk home and if I do seem to be walking behind a girl, I just look down and walk off the pavement as I walk past.

    It must be unnerving for a girl walking alone late at night. Though even if I was followed home I would love to see someone keep up with my speed walking

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Quote Originally Posted by Barry Shnikov View Post
    Hmmm...possibly.

    Which one in the photo is you - the one in yellow, or the one in purple?

    The purple/brown, of course. I was just trying not to step on the poor slob laying on the ground...

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Quote Originally Posted by Villemo View Post
    The purple/brown, of course. I was just trying not to step on the poor slob laying on the ground...
    That's what I thought. VERY scary...

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Well i must say, the ads just lately have made me think twice about where i walk and whom i walk with.
    What ads? Have I missed something?

    They also advise not to use the mobile when walking the streets.
    Good advice, because it's important to stay alert and be aware of what's going on around you, otherwise you look like a victim. That would include not walking about drunk/ drugged. I try not to put myself in a position where I could be taken by surprise - be aware of walking past bushes, alleys, parked cars etc where someone could leap out at point blank range and grab you.

    I think i would head for the nearest lit house and just ring the bell.....
    More good advice, that's what I would do as well. For that reason, I would never walk alone after dark in a place where there were no domestic premises where you might reasonably run to for help, or at least look as if you were getting help, or that people would hear you if you screamed. So, no isolated places like lonely town centre streets at night, parks, or open countryside. It's better to walk round the long way than risk a short cut across a space like that.

    My rule is, never put yourself into a position where you can't easily run away. So, entering a space, like a car park, for example, think about your exit route. Entering my front garden, which is surrounded by quite a high hedge, I try to be aware of who else is on the pavement nearby and could reach me before I could open the front door and get in. If I was in doubt I would go back to my car or walk in the opposite direction. I would never use a multi-storey carpark at night time if I could avoid it, I don't even like them during the day, far too many places for people to hide way or to get cornered.

    The exception to my rules has to be hill-walking, or rambling, which I sometimes do on my own. I figure rapists and murderers won't be bothered to walk up a mountain to get at me but I worry a bit about doing general countryside walking on my own. There have been several murders over the last 15 years or so on coastal paths, though given the number of people that use them it's obviously unbelievably rare. I'm not about to give it up, though, just stay alert and take care.

    I don't believe it's necessary to be too paranoid. Many attacks reported in the news seem to be on young, inexperienced women who have placed themselves in a vulnerable position, sadly - like walking home alone in a lonely spot, late at night, drunk or drugged. With a bit of care and common sense, most women can stay out of trouble.

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Quote Originally Posted by jivecat View Post
    What ads? Have I missed something?

    .
    Well they are not really ads, they just seem to be featuring women safety on morning tv, evening news, i cant remember where ive seen them but it seems to be all the time. Frightens me when i do see them as well ........not that i walk anywhere on my own really.... i carry defence in my car as well but to be honest i dont really care. Illegal or not. If somebody tries to attack me in my car i will go for the throat.

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    I think that I've been followed a couple of times. Fortunately it's never amounted to anything. The last time, I was waiting at Oxford Circus for a bus, standing near the wall and this funny little chap squeezed himself into the space between where I was waiting and chatting with my friend (it was about 10pm, we'd been out for dinner). And then he stared at us - from about 1 ft away. He then got onto the bus with me, and sat next to me, almost leaning into me - I had my headphones on and turned right away from him and ignored him. Then he got off at the same stop as me (though I'd walked up the other end of the bus to get off), and I saw him staring intently into a shop window... I set off as fast as I could and turned a couple of corners, then made a big show of checking to cross the road so as to look back to see if he was there, but I'd lost him. I called my friend when I'd got home, and she'd thought he was very strange too. Still not 100% sure if he was following me, or if it was just a coincidence... but it did unnerve me, despite the fact that he was very small and skinny, and I could probably have squashed him with my thumb!
    The important thing to know is that you should never smile or have eye contact with strange men in those circumstances.

    This is what triggers them off.

    It's something to watch out for as you may be smiling at something in your head, and not even notice someone has seen it and mistakenly thinks the smile is meant for them.

    There was a famous actress who was smiling to herself one day and got stuck with a stalker. She had to get an injunction out against him in the end, and all because she was smiling. Can't remember who she was now.

    What's life coming to when we can't smile or have eye contact, but there are a lot lonely men out there. Also ones that think a smile or eye contact means you are up for a shag.

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Quote Originally Posted by Astro View Post

    What's life coming to when we can't smile or have eye contact, but there are a lot lonely men out there. Also ones that think a smile or eye contact means you are up for a shag.
    funny that, a lot of men in dancing think that as well. Men do get signals wrong dont they. The times ive heard, oh she is well up for it.. or ooh she fancies me or ooh i could have her if i wanted......

    honestly..

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    funny that, a lot of men in dancing think that as well. Men do get signals wrong dont they. The times ive heard, oh she is well up for it.. or ooh she fancies me or ooh i could have her if i wanted......

    honestly..
    Well, as long as they sort out their facts and don't follow her from the venue and try and rape her.
    Have there been any rapes on the MJ scene?

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    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: A warning to women!

    For any guys reading this - take note of the tips as well. Most random attacks are actually on young men, not women. It's just that women fear the attacks more than men. Women, sadly, are more likely to be attacked by someone they know...

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Quote Originally Posted by Astro View Post
    Well, as long as they sort out their facts and don't follow her from the venue and try and rape her.
    Have there been any rapes on the MJ scene?
    goodness me Astro... i dont think so.

    Most of them are joking when they say it

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    For any guys reading this - take note of the tips as well. Most random attacks are actually on young men, not women. It's just that women fear the attacks more than men. Women, sadly, are more likely to be attacked by someone they know...
    Unfortunately for men they are not attacked to offer up a blow job or a leg over....... they young men are attacked for completely different reasons. Mobile phones, cash etc etc...

    My son was attacked by a bunch of youths all wearing hoodies..... they got his two mates mobiles but he ran into a mercedes garage and escaped getting hurt or loosing his cash/mobile. He is very wary since.

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Unfortunately for men they are not attacked to offer up a blow job or a leg over....... they young men are attacked for completely different reasons. Mobile phones, cash etc etc...

    My son was attacked by a bunch of youths all wearing hoodies..... they got his two mates mobiles but he ran into a mercedes garage and escaped getting hurt or loosing his cash/mobile. He is very wary since.

    True, but most times that women are attacked the motive is robbery not rape. I had my bag snatched (probably about 18 years ago now) and a friend was mugged at knifepoint (about 8 years ago). I've heard of this happening to lots of other women too. I've not heard of any being attacked sexually. But the fear of that happening is greater.

    Young men are more likely to be robbed, or beaten up. A few will be sexually assaulted though, it's not unknown.

    And yes, kids mugging other kids is extremely common. Some neighbours of mine, their son used to take it as an almost monthly occurrence and stopped getting upset about it. Better let them take what they want rather than get knifed (again, living near Peckham has it's disadvantages). Glad your son was OK.

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    Re: A warning to women!

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    True, but most times that women are attacked the motive is robbery not rape. I had my bag snatched (probably about 18 years ago now) and a friend was mugged at knifepoint (about 8 years ago). I've heard of this happening to lots of other women too. I've not heard of any being attacked sexually. But the fear of that happening is greater.
    I was mugged twice in Clapham about 20 years ago. One of the incidents one of the guys got me in someones front garden and was getting frisky, but he wasn't violent and they let me go for some reason. Both times I'd had a row with boyfriends and stormed off.
    Young men are more likely to be robbed, or beaten up. A few will be sexually assaulted though, it's not unknown.
    It's more common than people think. A guy goes to the pub and gets drinking with with a group of guys. He leaves with them, all buddy buddy, then they drive him to an isolated spot, rob and gang rape him. Men are also less likely to report a rape.

    And yes, kids mugging other kids is extremely common. Some neighbours of mine, their son used to take it as an almost monthly occurrence and stopped getting upset about it. Better let them take what they want rather than get knifed (again, living near Peckham has it's disadvantages). Glad your son was OK.
    My sons have been robbed a lot too, often violently. That's why a lot of children are kept in, they never get out to play and become obese. Mine would never stay in though.

    One time I saw a gang attacking someone and went to the rescue. It was a good job as it was my son. When they saw me, they backed off. It was lucky as I'm not much of a fighter.

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