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Thread: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

  1. #161
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Gadget View Post
    I will stand up and say that I will NOT take this pledge.

    Why? because I find it demeaning and infantile. I wholeheartedly support the concept behind it, but think that this is in danger of forming more of a "clique" than the refusers and hot-shots do.

    Would I make a pledge to step on my right foot after my left, unless I'm not walking etc.? Would I make a pledge to breath out every time I breathed in? Does the irony of it not strike you? : let's make a clique of people to disband other cliques.

    Why 3 people? Why exclude people you have already danced with? Why do I need to be told that there is a threshold that makes you "good" if you're on one side and "bad" if you're on the other? Why encourage segmentation within a dance form that goes a long way to eliminate every other "ism"?
    I won't pledge this because there may be times when I know everyone. There may be times that I don't get the chance to dance with new faces. And more than anything, I object to being tied down to "3 or more".

    ? Pledge to try to do something? What's the point in a pledge like that? A pledge is a do not a try - do or do not: there is no try.

    Did you take a pledge of allegiance to the queen and country? No? Why do you follow it's laws and live by it's social and ethical ethos? Because you're a part of society and a member of the community. Do you need to take a pledge to the orange flag of MJ to be a part of it's society and part of it's community? Do you need to pledge allegiance to the almighty Franck to post on this forum?
    MJ has an ethos and openness that (as far as I am aware) is unequalled in any other dance form. To become a part of it you just need to turn up, dance and have fun. No pledges, no ties, no curriculum you have to follow, no having to dance with X or Y, no rules on footwork.

    Respect for making the pledge, but rabble-rousing should only be for people with a blue face and a cry of "FREEDOM!". {I have the image of an 'army' of MJers all moving forward and DTS crying "Who's with me?" while being carried along with the rest of the battalion.}

    Who is with me?

    {Edit: that "who's with me" was left in from DTS post by accident, but I like the irony }
    well i have to agree with dts to call it demeaning and infantile is going over the top and IMHO is nasty
    This thread was started with the very best intentions and i for one wholeheartedly back Dave on it
    As we all know Dave has a great wit and is one of the characters that make this forum what it is

  2. #162
    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by martingold View Post
    well i have to agree with dts to call it demeaning and infantile is going over the top and IMHO is nasty
    This thread was started with the very best intentions and i for one wholeheartedly back Dave on it
    As we all know Dave has a great wit and is one of the characters that make this forum what it is




    we love you DTS

  3. #163
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    This is an example of a post which is over the top and franckly quite upsetting.

    Now I dont know you Gadget, and I am sure you are a nice chap, however this post is INHO nasty and unpleasant.

    Unfortunatly the Forum is full of these types of posts lately.
    Well, I can see what you mean, and I've certainly had the occasional "difference of opinion" with Gadget myself, but I think he speaks directly from the heart without intention to stir things up or to cause offence to individuals. He's just passionate about dancing, which is surely no bad thing on a dance forum.

    The forum has often been quite a tetchy sort of place to visit, I've often dreaded logging on for what I might read next, and I don't think I'm alone in that! It has always been so from when I first joined, though I think that originally it was much matier and more relaxed, when it was still mainly a Scot
    tish forum. Very few of those people now post, except maybe Gadget, DS and Franck.

    There have been far worse arguments than this one as I'm sure most of us can remember.

  4. #164
    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by jivecat View Post


    There have been far worse arguments than this one as I'm sure most of us can remember.

    NO

    but we don't stay upset for long, its said and hopfully for most of us we move on.

    I do say to people this place isn't allway for the faint hearted.

  5. #165
    Registered User Patrick's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    As for posting I am miffed at my threads being taken over by unpleasantness and back biting.
    DTS XXX XXX
    I know how you feel, I stopped posting on here over a year ago mostly for that reason! Interesting to see I still have blocks on some people's replies and have no desire to hear what they say. Fortunately, most people on here are very friendly. But like being refused a dance unexpectedly, it only takes one big attack to put you off!
    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    but we don't stay upset for long, its said and hopfully for most of us we move on.
    I do say to people this place isn't allway for the faint hearted.
    I'm sure DTS will bounce back quicker than I did. I only met Dave for about 5 mins at Breeze, but with all that energy I'm sure nothing will hold you back!

    I have to say I did find the forum crowd there very cliquely, with the exception of those I already knew quite well (eg Fletch, Caz, some locals, and some from the competition circuit).

    I think Dave, Jay Jay and Maxine were about the only new forumites I met who made me feel welcome. And I had some refusals and very reluctant charity dances when I asked.

    I know we all tend to stick with people we know, a lot, if not most of the time, but I am in favour of the idea Dave's pledge, sometimes we all need reminding to make more effort to include more people, whether its 1, 3 or 10!

    I hope to get to Twickenham on the 14th, my first Utopia event. As reputedly the most exclusive venue in the country, it will be interesting to see how welcome I feel!

    Patrick

  6. #166
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
    I have to say I did find the forum crowd there very cliquely, with the exception of those I already knew quite well (eg Fletch, Caz, some locals, and some from the competition circuit).

    I think Dave, Jay Jay and Maxine were about the only new forumites I met who made me feel welcome. And I had some refusals and very reluctant charity dances when I asked.
    I am a bit surprised by this comment as i had not met the majority of the forumites who were down there yet i was welcomed with open arms
    I dont think you made it to the forum meet
    I know for one that you didnt introduce yourself to me and i dont think i saw you at the top end of the blues room where most of the forumites congregated in the evenings
    Sorry you felt left out but i dont think its down to the forumites being cliquey.

  7. #167
    Registered User Patrick's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
    I know we all tend to stick with people we know, a lot, if not most of the time, but I am in favour of the idea Dave's pledge, sometimes we all need reminding to make more effort to include more people, whether its 1, 3 or 10!

    Patrick
    Quote Originally Posted by martingold View Post
    Sorry you felt left out but i dont think its down to the forumites being cliquey.
    Well that was my observation as a relative outsider (having not been at the meeting), but remembering some familiar forum faces of old. If I had gone to the meeting I probably would have had a better experience, by being more a part of the clique! Just human nature. Which I think was the gist of Dave's thread.

    I can also now see why this is a no-win discussion, so I will take the pledge not to post on this thread again!

    Patrick

  8. #168
    Registered User frodo's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
    ...
    I have to say I did find the forum crowd there very cliquely, with the exception of those I already knew quite well (eg Fletch, Caz, some locals, and some from the competition circuit)...
    Interesting thought. I didn't know there was a specific forum crowd in the real world.

  9. #169
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
    I have to say I did find the forum crowd there very cliquely, with the exception of those I already knew quite well
    Yeah, I always find people I know well, a lot friendlier towards me, than people I don't know or who don't know me... weird isn't it?


    Quote Originally Posted by frodo View Post
    Interesting thought. I didn't know there was a specific forum crowd in the real world.
    Me neither!

    The thing is Patrick, I know I'm pulling your leg a bit but seriously, 'your' a forumite, as much as anyone else on here is... so, how far did you go, to make anyone feel welcome?

    I'm not having a go, I'm just pointing out, your no different to anyone else on here hun!
    MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
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  10. #170
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
    I have to say I did find the forum crowd there very cliquely,
    Patrick, I've been thinking about this and a question sprung to mind ...

    How did you know who were forumites and who weren't?
    MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    Patrick, I've been thinking about this and a question sprung to mind ...

    How did you know who were forumites and who weren't?
    Just like Columbo would have done, ask the innocuous question then just as about to leave turn round and say 'one more thing, I've been thinking ....'

  12. #172
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    Patrick, I've been thinking about this and a question sprung to mind ...

    How did you know who were forumites and who weren't?
    now come on lory the whole room must have been forumites cos they didnt talk to him

  13. #173
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by marcusj View Post
    Just like Columbo would have done, ask the innocuous question then just as about to leave turn round and say 'one more thing, I've been thinking ....'




    He always caught them out in the end though, didn't he
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  14. #174
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by martingold View Post
    now come on lory the whole room must have been forumites cos they didnt talk to him
    So, that's an example of welcoming behaviour, huh?

  15. #175
    Registered User Patrick's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Patrick View Post
    I can also now see why this is a no-win discussion, so I will take the pledge not to post on this thread again!

    Patrick
    This one doesn't count!

  16. #176
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    So, that's an example of welcoming behaviour, huh?
    I know it was a bit cruel but i still stand by what i said anyone who came to the top end of the blues room when i was there was welcomed
    Patrick if you dont say who you are how can you expect anyone to talk to you
    I only knew three to four forumites before breeze i came away having made some truly remarkable friendships with most of the forumites who were there (and not just at the meeting) Stokebloke & Twirley bird, Dottie, HelenB, Caz, PoiBoi and Drathzell to name but a few
    I hadnt met any of these people before yet now feel like they are going to be great friends and cant wait to see them again
    If you want to join any group of people in any situation you need to put yourself out not just go to a room stand away from everyone else then complain because no one talked to you
    Patrick may i suggest next time you attend a weekender you look for people you know to be forumites then go and say hello

  17. #177
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by martingold View Post
    I know it was a bit cruel but i still stand by what i said anyone who came to the top end of the blues room when i was there was welcomed
    My point is, it's ironic that people made a big deal out of how we're all lovey-dovey at the top of the thread, and then get all defensive when someone says that, actually, sometimes groups can appear intimidating or cliquey. Surely I'm not the only one to see a slight contradiction here?

    Big forumite groups sometimes intimidate me. I imagine they also intimidate others.

    Quote Originally Posted by martingold View Post
    Patrick if you dont say who you are how can you expect anyone to talk to you
    Why, are we only allowed to talk to people when they've given their identity first?

  18. #178
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    Big forumite groups sometimes intimidate me. I imagine they also intimidate others.

    ?


    Oh pleeeeese DJ.. you never go to any of the forumite meetings or gatherings.... thats cause your a snob nothing to do with intimidation.

    But yes i agree with you... all this luvvie duvvie nonsense does bring out a clique.... this can be intimidating for others to try and get involved in. Not all forumites are lovely and polite, some are up their own ass and quite rude to newbies.. I know myself as experienced it in the early days. The only difference with me is,, i dont give a hoot but others take it to heart.

  19. #179
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Oh pleeeeese DJ.. you never go to any of the forumite meetings or gatherings.... thats cause your a snob nothing to do with intimidation.
    No, really, I'm shy. Honest.

  20. #180
    Registered User ant's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    My point is, it's ironic that people made a big deal out of how we're all lovey-dovey at the top of the thread, and then get all defensive when someone says that, actually, sometimes groups can appear intimidating or cliquey. Surely I'm not the only one to see a slight contradiction here?
    I think this is unfair. If you look at how all this deveoloped, all the defensive posts started when Patrick had a paddy (no pun intended) rather than his criticism of groups being intimidating or cliquey.

    Originally posted by Patrick
    I have to say I did find the forum crowd there very cliquely, with the exception of those I already knew quite well (eg Fletch, Caz, some locals, and some from the competition circuit).
    Originally posted by Martingold
    I am a bit surprised by this comment as i had not met the majority of the forumites who were down there yet i was welcomed with open arms
    I dont think you made it to the forum meet
    I know for one that you didnt introduce yourself to me and i dont think i saw you at the top end of the blues room where most of the forumites congregated in the evenings
    Sorry you felt left out but i dont think its down to the forumites being cliquey.
    Originally posted by Patrick
    I can also now see why this is a no-win discussion, so I will take the pledge not to post on this thread again
    !
    It seems to me that Patrick can say what he wants and nobody can disagree, however reasonably that is done and in Martingold's post above I thought that was very reasonable. I also find it ironic that he then does another post only when someone agrees with him.
    Last edited by ant; 5th-November-2008 at 12:35 PM. Reason: quote included twice taken out

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