well i have to agree with dts to call it demeaning and infantile is going over the top and IMHO is nasty
This thread was started with the very best intentions and i for one wholeheartedly back Dave on it
As we all know Dave has a great wit and is one of the characters that make this forum what it is
Well, I can see what you mean, and I've certainly had the occasional "difference of opinion" with Gadget myself, but I think he speaks directly from the heart without intention to stir things up or to cause offence to individuals. He's just passionate about dancing, which is surely no bad thing on a dance forum.
The forum has often been quite a tetchy sort of place to visit, I've often dreaded logging on for what I might read next, and I don't think I'm alone in that! It has always been so from when I first joined, though I think that originally it was much matier and more relaxed, when it was still mainly a Scot
tish forum. Very few of those people now post, except maybe Gadget, DS and Franck.
There have been far worse arguments than this one as I'm sure most of us can remember.
I know how you feel, I stopped posting on here over a year ago mostly for that reason! Interesting to see I still have blocks on some people's replies and have no desire to hear what they say. Fortunately, most people on here are very friendly. But like being refused a dance unexpectedly, it only takes one big attack to put you off!
I'm sure DTS will bounce back quicker than I did. I only met Dave for about 5 mins at Breeze, but with all that energy I'm sure nothing will hold you back!
I have to say I did find the forum crowd there very cliquely, with the exception of those I already knew quite well (eg Fletch, Caz, some locals, and some from the competition circuit).
I think Dave, Jay Jay and Maxine were about the only new forumites I met who made me feel welcome. And I had some refusals and very reluctant charity dances when I asked.
I know we all tend to stick with people we know, a lot, if not most of the time, but I am in favour of the idea Dave's pledge, sometimes we all need reminding to make more effort to include more people, whether its 1, 3 or 10!
I hope to get to Twickenham on the 14th, my first Utopia event. As reputedly the most exclusive venue in the country, it will be interesting to see how welcome I feel!
Patrick
I am a bit surprised by this comment as i had not met the majority of the forumites who were down there yet i was welcomed with open arms
I dont think you made it to the forum meet
I know for one that you didnt introduce yourself to me and i dont think i saw you at the top end of the blues room where most of the forumites congregated in the evenings
Sorry you felt left out but i dont think its down to the forumites being cliquey.
Well that was my observation as a relative outsider (having not been at the meeting), but remembering some familiar forum faces of old. If I had gone to the meeting I probably would have had a better experience, by being more a part of the clique! Just human nature. Which I think was the gist of Dave's thread.
I can also now see why this is a no-win discussion, so I will take the pledge not to post on this thread again!
Patrick
Yeah, I always find people I know well, a lot friendlier towards me, than people I don't know or who don't know me... weird isn't it?
Me neither!
The thing is Patrick, I know I'm pulling your leg a bit but seriously, 'your' a forumite, as much as anyone else on here is... so, how far did you go, to make anyone feel welcome?
I'm not having a go, I'm just pointing out, your no different to anyone else on here hun!
MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
I know it was a bit cruel but i still stand by what i said anyone who came to the top end of the blues room when i was there was welcomed
Patrick if you dont say who you are how can you expect anyone to talk to you
I only knew three to four forumites before breeze i came away having made some truly remarkable friendships with most of the forumites who were there (and not just at the meeting) Stokebloke & Twirley bird, Dottie, HelenB, Caz, PoiBoi and Drathzell to name but a few
I hadnt met any of these people before yet now feel like they are going to be great friends and cant wait to see them again
If you want to join any group of people in any situation you need to put yourself out not just go to a room stand away from everyone else then complain because no one talked to you
Patrick may i suggest next time you attend a weekender you look for people you know to be forumites then go and say hello
My point is, it's ironic that people made a big deal out of how we're all lovey-dovey at the top of the thread, and then get all defensive when someone says that, actually, sometimes groups can appear intimidating or cliquey. Surely I'm not the only one to see a slight contradiction here?
Big forumite groups sometimes intimidate me. I imagine they also intimidate others.
Why, are we only allowed to talk to people when they've given their identity first?
Oh pleeeeese DJ.. you never go to any of the forumite meetings or gatherings.... thats cause your a snob nothing to do with intimidation.
But yes i agree with you... all this luvvie duvvie nonsense does bring out a clique.... this can be intimidating for others to try and get involved in. Not all forumites are lovely and polite, some are up their own ass and quite rude to newbies.. I know myself as experienced it in the early days. The only difference with me is,, i dont give a hoot but others take it to heart.
I think this is unfair. If you look at how all this deveoloped, all the defensive posts started when Patrick had a paddy (no pun intended) rather than his criticism of groups being intimidating or cliquey.
Originally posted by Patrick
I have to say I did find the forum crowd there very cliquely, with the exception of those I already knew quite well (eg Fletch, Caz, some locals, and some from the competition circuit).Originally posted by Martingold
I am a bit surprised by this comment as i had not met the majority of the forumites who were down there yet i was welcomed with open arms
I dont think you made it to the forum meet
I know for one that you didnt introduce yourself to me and i dont think i saw you at the top end of the blues room where most of the forumites congregated in the evenings
Sorry you felt left out but i dont think its down to the forumites being cliquey.!Originally posted by Patrick
I can also now see why this is a no-win discussion, so I will take the pledge not to post on this thread again
It seems to me that Patrick can say what he wants and nobody can disagree, however reasonably that is done and in Martingold's post above I thought that was very reasonable. I also find it ironic that he then does another post only when someone agrees with him.
Last edited by ant; 5th-November-2008 at 12:35 PM. Reason: quote included twice taken out
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