tsh - Well said
I have had a dance with a beginner before and I was having a belter of a dance on the floor, poss one of the best that night.
Well, off the top of my head, because it was mean, spiteful, and an abuse of authority? Because it was an insulting, puerile and bullying "game" being played? Because the person involved then denied it, and tried to get others in trouble because of it? Blimey, Fletch, you must remember the incident.
In other words:
Yes, absolutely; that was also my response at the time.
Oh yes, I'm very sure of what happened. I don't wander round stating these sort of things randomly.
Anyway, let's not go on about it, I'd have to infract myself for breaking the name-and-shame rule if I took it any further.
tsh - Well said
I have had a dance with a beginner before and I was having a belter of a dance on the floor, poss one of the best that night.
For leaders the benefits of dancing with an out of league follower are so much less (or at least perceived to be so less), so it isn't worth dancing with someone who doesn't want to dance with you.If you genuinely know they wouldn't chose to dance with you why would you want to ask them
But for followers the benefits are so much higher, hence they do much more of it.
The follower gets a far better dance, than she would dancing with someone in her own league, and can learn a lot (for example how a dance should feel), from dancing with much better leaders.
Witness star couples at an event. Time and time again followers queue up to get their dance with the leader, who gets little rest, whereas the follower typically isn't asked much.
Followers / queueing vying for dances with the best leads doesn't really improve the atmosphere (they have to give off 'don't ask me to dance vibes' while they stalk the best dancers), which is another reason why this pledge may be a bad idea.
From time to time I see newcomers quivering in their seat waiting for the friend that persuaded them to come to go home. Often they do not want to dance with anybody. If someone can persuade them onto the floor they find out that not only can they follow moves they have never been taught, but also that they can enjoy the experience.
I have some treasured moments where I have been thanked for being the difference between someone giving up and persevering, or seeing an expression change from "Do I have to?" to "He can do it!". Those times more than compensate for the few occasions where my partner gets nothing from the dance. I think it is better for the guys to err on the side of pushiness. Th general complaints I hear from ladies about too few dances massively outnumber complaints about dances.
Just in case anyone takes this seriously - using furniture polish on a dance floor can be dangerous : we were very nearly banned from a venue after a 'Mr Sheen' incident ! It gives very low friction, but looks just like the rest of the sticky floor.
Since then, the venue have applied a non-slip finish.
A tiny amount of Talcum Powder seems to give a controlled degree of slippiness on most surfaces - but test a tiny patch first. Add as little as you can and re-assess. If overdone, there is no easy way to remove it again. It is easy to top-up if you feel more is needed.
Back to the luvvy bitching, folks ...
I completely disagree with this statement
Although i will dance with anyone and enjoy it (whats a better feeling than having a fun dance with a beginner and helping to boost their confidence) I always try to dance with people better than myself
I know for a fact that when i do my dancing improves dramatically
When i returned from breeze having danced with the likes of Lory, Drathzel, Twirley bird etc (sorry if i have missed anyone) my regular partners all noticed an improvement in my leads and the quality if my dancing no new moves needed just technique
MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
This is an utterly stupid thing to say. If someone who is hopeless and has no interest in improving their dancing asks me to dance then they will just learn that they are not good enough, or learn nothing. I will mistake the first break for the end of the track and excuse myself.
Why do some people want to create a myth that all good dancers only want to dance with other good dancers? It's hard work dancing with good people all the time - even if it is the easiest way to learn. This has nothing to do with wanting to dance with people though.
I've never noticed anything.
Here's a question. Something that has always puzzled me re. male dance gods.
a) do they expect the learner follow to ask them?
b) should the learner follow wait to be asked?
c) does it depend on the individual male dance god?
Do you mean leather soles Lory?
Yes mr 666 but some of have you sussed
to be honest I didn't realise you were on about 'that' insedent, and yes of cause I remember it. I was one of the people that made to origonal complaint, when the **** hit the fan.
You have me paraniod at the moment and think your having a dig at me at every opertunity, so i;v been keeping of the forum cos of it, I only signed on cos I had a message, I though I would let you have fun with some one else i'm fed up with it like DTS
MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
Well, Sean, you are well out of my league, but the few times I’ve been at the same freestyle as you I have asked you to dance and I’ve enjoyed the experience immensely. You haven’t looked completely thrilled by me asking you to dance, but you have had the good manners to say yes. Mind you, the biggest smile I’ve had out of you has been when I’ve gone wrong, but still…! I have no idea what you have thought, for all I know you might have been trying to avoid me asking you, but you’ve had nice enough manners to be pleasant during and afterwards. One day I hope to improve enough that I might get asked, instead of always doing the asking (pigs might fly after all).
Of course, I don’t expect you to ask me – why would you when there are better followers there who I’m sure you’d rather dance with, and anyway you don’t know me from Adam.
From my point of view I always feel I learn by dancing with the best men in the room, so a lead like you goes onto my ‘hit list’ for the second half of the night when hopefully my dancing has warmed up a bit. Asking someone out of my league can certainly be intimidating, but that doesn’t generally stop me from doing it.
See, I am generously giving you good leads out there the opportunity to get a warm virtuous glow about having done your bit towards helping the next generation of followers to get a step onto the ladder of improvement!
DTS, you should approve of me – I am supporting your pledge in a practical way as well as being one of its beneficiaries!
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