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Thread: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

  1. #101
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    why would it be a problem to her?
    Well, off the top of my head, because it was mean, spiteful, and an abuse of authority? Because it was an insulting, puerile and bullying "game" being played? Because the person involved then denied it, and tried to get others in trouble because of it? Blimey, Fletch, you must remember the incident.

    In other words:
    Quote Originally Posted by Moondancer View Post
    I would be upset if I then saw him go back to his mates and laugh about it afterwards. That would knock my confidence big time. Why would anyone be so mean?
    Yes, absolutely; that was also my response at the time.

    Quote Originally Posted by bigdjiver View Post
    Are you sure?
    Oh yes, I'm very sure of what happened. I don't wander round stating these sort of things randomly.

    Anyway, let's not go on about it, I'd have to infract myself for breaking the name-and-shame rule if I took it any further.

  2. #102
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    tsh - Well said


    I have had a dance with a beginner before and I was having a belter of a dance on the floor, poss one of the best that night.

  3. #103
    Registered User frodo's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    If you genuinely know they wouldn't chose to dance with you why would you want to ask them
    For leaders the benefits of dancing with an out of league follower are so much less (or at least perceived to be so less), so it isn't worth dancing with someone who doesn't want to dance with you.


    But for followers the benefits are so much higher, hence they do much more of it.

    The follower gets a far better dance, than she would dancing with someone in her own league, and can learn a lot (for example how a dance should feel), from dancing with much better leaders.

    Witness star couples at an event. Time and time again followers queue up to get their dance with the leader, who gets little rest, whereas the follower typically isn't asked much.


    Followers / queueing vying for dances with the best leads doesn't really improve the atmosphere (they have to give off 'don't ask me to dance vibes' while they stalk the best dancers), which is another reason why this pledge may be a bad idea.

  4. #104
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by tsh View Post
    ... If you genuinely know they wouldn't chose to dance with you why would you want to ask them
    From time to time I see newcomers quivering in their seat waiting for the friend that persuaded them to come to go home. Often they do not want to dance with anybody. If someone can persuade them onto the floor they find out that not only can they follow moves they have never been taught, but also that they can enjoy the experience.

    I have some treasured moments where I have been thanked for being the difference between someone giving up and persevering, or seeing an expression change from "Do I have to?" to "He can do it!". Those times more than compensate for the few occasions where my partner gets nothing from the dance. I think it is better for the guys to err on the side of pushiness. Th general complaints I hear from ladies about too few dances massively outnumber complaints about dances.

  5. #105
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    Especially if they are used to polish up some of the sticky dancefloors nationwide
    Just in case anyone takes this seriously - using furniture polish on a dance floor can be dangerous : we were very nearly banned from a venue after a 'Mr Sheen' incident ! It gives very low friction, but looks just like the rest of the sticky floor.

    Since then, the venue have applied a non-slip finish.

    A tiny amount of Talcum Powder seems to give a controlled degree of slippiness on most surfaces - but test a tiny patch first. Add as little as you can and re-assess. If overdone, there is no easy way to remove it again. It is easy to top-up if you feel more is needed.

    Back to the luvvy bitching, folks ...

  6. #106
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by frodo View Post
    For leaders the benefits of dancing with an out of league follower are so much less (or at least perceived to be so less), so it isn't worth dancing with someone who doesn't want to dance with you.
    I completely disagree with this statement

    Although i will dance with anyone and enjoy it (whats a better feeling than having a fun dance with a beginner and helping to boost their confidence) I always try to dance with people better than myself
    I know for a fact that when i do my dancing improves dramatically
    When i returned from breeze having danced with the likes of Lory, Drathzel, Twirley bird etc (sorry if i have missed anyone) my regular partners all noticed an improvement in my leads and the quality if my dancing no new moves needed just technique

  7. #107
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by EricD View Post

    Since then, the venue have applied a non-slip finish.
    If the floor's 'really' sticky, try using a bit of Mr sheen on the soles of your shoes! It works! But it can also be quite lethal, if you over do it!
    Back to the luvvy bitching, folks ...
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  8. #108
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by EricD View Post
    Just in case anyone takes this seriously - using furniture polish on a dance floor can be dangerous : we were very nearly banned from a venue after a 'Mr Sheen' incident ! It gives very low friction, but looks just like the rest of the sticky floor.

    Since then, the venue have applied a non-slip finish.

    A tiny amount of Talcum Powder seems to give a controlled degree of slippiness on most surfaces - but test a tiny patch first. Add as little as you can and re-assess. If overdone, there is no easy way to remove it again. It is easy to top-up if you feel more is needed.
    we have been told that any alteration of the floor not done by the venue owners or their staff would lead to insurance problems and that includes talc

  9. #109
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by frodo View Post
    For leaders the benefits of dancing with an out of league follower are so much less (or at least perceived to be so less), so it isn't worth dancing with someone who doesn't want to dance with you.
    This is an utterly stupid thing to say. If someone who is hopeless and has no interest in improving their dancing asks me to dance then they will just learn that they are not good enough, or learn nothing. I will mistake the first break for the end of the track and excuse myself.

    Why do some people want to create a myth that all good dancers only want to dance with other good dancers? It's hard work dancing with good people all the time - even if it is the easiest way to learn. This has nothing to do with wanting to dance with people though.

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by bigdjiver View Post
    Are you sure?

    I have seen people wrongly assume laughter is something to do with them whereas it is unrelated.
    I've never noticed anything.

    Quote Originally Posted by tsh View Post
    If you genuinely know they wouldn't chose to dance with you why would you want to ask them
    Here's a question. Something that has always puzzled me re. male dance gods.

    a) do they expect the learner follow to ask them?
    b) should the learner follow wait to be asked?
    c) does it depend on the individual male dance god?


    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    If the floor's 'really' sticky, try using a bit of Mr sheen on the soles of your shoes! It works! But it can also be quite lethal, if you over do it!


    Do you mean leather soles Lory?

  11. #111
    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Steven666 View Post
    Aye. It's knowing when people are being two faced is the true skill.

    As far as I', concerned, if yer nasty on here then yer simply nasty off here too, how ever you appear to act. Myself included!
    Yes mr 666 but some of have you sussed

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    Well, off the top of my head, because it was mean, spiteful, and an abuse of authority? Because it was an insulting, puerile and bullying "game" being played? Because the person involved then denied it, and tried to get others in trouble because of it? Blimey, Fletch, you must remember the incident.



    .

    to be honest I didn't realise you were on about 'that' insedent, and yes of cause I remember it. I was one of the people that made to origonal complaint, when the **** hit the fan.

    You have me paraniod at the moment and think your having a dig at me at every opertunity, so i;v been keeping of the forum cos of it, I only signed on cos I had a message, I though I would let you have fun with some one else i'm fed up with it like DTS

  12. #112
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    You have me paraniod at the moment
    Then my work here is done

  13. #113
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Astro View Post
    Here's a question. Something that has always puzzled me re. male dance gods.

    a) do they expect the learner follow to ask them?
    b) should the learner follow wait to be asked?
    c) does it depend on the individual male dance god?
    It'll be interesting to see which god answers this



    Do you mean leather soles Lory?
    yes sorry, leather soles.

    Although, It might well work on suede too, if its at the 'shiny' stage but I don't want someone to risk it and blame me!
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  14. #114
    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    It'll be interesting to see which god answers this
    Since there's probably only one (maybe two) people fitting that description posting even semi-regularly on here you could be waiting a while

    Then again, it's all relative. Every leader dancing freestyle at my first Ceroc night looked like a dance god to me

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by tsh View Post
    You're in danger of mis-judging people there... Just because you think you're not good enough doesn't mean people won't enjoy dancing with you.

    If you genuinely know they wouldn't chose to dance with you why would you want to ask them
    Well, Sean, you are well out of my league, but the few times I’ve been at the same freestyle as you I have asked you to dance and I’ve enjoyed the experience immensely. You haven’t looked completely thrilled by me asking you to dance, but you have had the good manners to say yes. Mind you, the biggest smile I’ve had out of you has been when I’ve gone wrong, but still…! I have no idea what you have thought, for all I know you might have been trying to avoid me asking you, but you’ve had nice enough manners to be pleasant during and afterwards. One day I hope to improve enough that I might get asked, instead of always doing the asking (pigs might fly after all).
    Of course, I don’t expect you to ask me – why would you when there are better followers there who I’m sure you’d rather dance with, and anyway you don’t know me from Adam.

    From my point of view I always feel I learn by dancing with the best men in the room, so a lead like you goes onto my ‘hit list’ for the second half of the night when hopefully my dancing has warmed up a bit. Asking someone out of my league can certainly be intimidating, but that doesn’t generally stop me from doing it.

    See, I am generously giving you good leads out there the opportunity to get a warm virtuous glow about having done your bit towards helping the next generation of followers to get a step onto the ladder of improvement!

    DTS, you should approve of me – I am supporting your pledge in a practical way as well as being one of its beneficiaries!

  16. #116
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    It'll be interesting to see which god answers this
    Fits in very nicely with my Maths help delusional thread !

  17. #117
    Registered User sunnybunny's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Moondancer View Post
    Well, Sean, you are well out of my league, but the few times I’ve been at the same freestyle as you I have asked you to dance and I’ve enjoyed the experience immensely. You haven’t looked completely thrilled by me asking you to dance, but you have had the good manners to say yes. Mind you, the biggest smile I’ve had out of you has been when I’ve gone wrong, but still…! I have no idea what you have thought, for all I know you might have been trying to avoid me asking you, but you’ve had nice enough manners to be pleasant during and afterwards. One day I hope to improve enough that I might get asked, instead of always doing the asking (pigs might fly after all).
    Of course, I don’t expect you to ask me – why would you when there are better followers there who I’m sure you’d rather dance with, and anyway you don’t know me from Adam.
    Hey, Moondancer - you got a smile from tsh - count that as a major achievement. Rare as hen's teeth, they are.

    Oops, there go my chances of ever getting another dance from him again.

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by sunnybunny View Post
    Hey, Moondancer - you got a smile from tsh - count that as a major achievement. Rare as hen's teeth, they are.

    Oops, there go my chances of ever getting another dance from him again.


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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Moondancer View Post
    One day I hope to improve enough that I might get asked, instead of always doing the asking (pigs might fly after all).
    I tend to ask specific people because I know them, rather than because they're good

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by tsh View Post
    I tend to ask specific people because I know them, rather than because they're good

    So if you get to know that I'm rubbish I'm more likely to get a dance??

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