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Thread: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

  1. #81
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    I consider 'burdened' such a harsh word it is a duty but it is to welcome more people to the world of dancing. there was one girl at dancing and her boyfirend was up dancing and no-one asked her up to dance, I approcahed and asked. She was obiously nervous and shy, but once people saw how good she was at following more people asked her to dance, her confidence has bloomed. She's been going for 3-4 weeks now and really getting into it.

    It make me wonder if she didn't get to dance that night would she have kept on going?

  2. #82
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Clueless View Post
    I consider 'burdened' such a harsh word it is a duty but it is to welcome more people to the world of dancing. there was one girl at dancing and her boyfirend was up dancing and no-one asked her up to dance, I approcahed and asked.
    At the end of the day, did you ask her, cos you 'wanted' to or cos you felt a sense of duty?

    This is my point!

    I ask people of all standards to dance all the time but I would feel it would be quite insulting to ask someone, merely because I'd signed some sort of pledge!

    Hey, I'm not saying I'm right on this one. Its just me, I can't stand being told what to do

    Edit to add - Anyway, I don't feel the need to tell people what a community spirited person I am,.. they'll judge me by my actions, not my promises
    Last edited by Lory; 27th-October-2008 at 01:49 PM.
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  3. #83
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    At the end of the day, did you ask her, cos you 'wanted' to or cos you felt a sense of duty?

    This is my point!

    I ask people of all standards to dance all the time but I would feel it wuld be quite insulting to ask someone, merely because I'd signed some sort of pledge!

    Hey, I'm not saying I'm right on this one. Its just me, I can't stand being told what to do

    Edit to add - Anyway, I don't feel the need to tell people what a community spirited person I am,.. they'll judge me by my actions, not my promises
    I didnt feel like I had a sense of duty I was looking round for a dance it's one of those songs you HAVE to dance to and I noticed she hadn't been up and thought we've all been beginners at one time and it can be scary asking ppl to dance.

    Like I said she was a brilliant follow and getting better, I like to have one dance with her whenever she is there.

  4. #84
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Clueless View Post
    I consider 'burdened' such a harsh word
    It's a description of how she feels, is all.

    Quote Originally Posted by Clueless View Post
    it is a duty but it is to welcome more people to the world of dancing. there was one girl at dancing and her boyfirend was up dancing and no-one asked her up to dance, I approcahed and asked. She was obiously nervous and shy, but once people saw how good she was at following more people asked her to dance, her confidence has bloomed. She's been going for 3-4 weeks now and really getting into it.
    See, the thing is, I know for a fact that people like Lory do welcome people in to the scene - very much so, in fact. She just doesn't blather on about it all the time, telling people how wonderful she is 24/7. (She is wonderful, by the way )

    And (I assume) she wants to make that attitude her own personal choice, not something she "has to" do, or something she feels she "should" do, because of some external pressure.

    Which, to me, is the ideal attitude - welcoming is best done naturally.

    Now, there's a good discussion as to what can be done to foster and encourage those attitudes, and to help people be as welcoming as possible. But it's not as straightforward as some people seem to think. For example, if you try and enforce this, you tend to get a backlash, which is clear from some of the comments on this very thread.

    It's good to have a discussion, but let's not have this reduced to a divisive "pro-pledge = Lovely, anti-pledge = Nasty" debate, huh?

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    I can't stand being told what to do
    Well, you are female - it's to be expected

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    (She is wonderful, by the way )
    Oh dear, another of those luvvy posts that DB hates so much. Hang on, it is DB

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    I want meaning to come across nasty, or sarcastic in what I was saying.

    Like you have said it is personal choice to be welcoming to new people naturally and it is nicer then when it has to be enforced.

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    I ask people of all standards to dance all the time
    I hate to think what standard I am then!!!

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    You get out what you put in, it's a natural law.


    BTW I am always willing to accept charity dances even if the bloke sniggers with his mates after. I've had a brilliant dance and learnt something, so it's win win for me.

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    To be honest I wish I haden't started this now. All I was trying to do was make dancing friendlier and more approachable and the band wagon has been jumped on again, with sarcy comments and nastiness.

    I aint gona bother any more.

    It is funny some people are nasty as hell on here but in real life are nice.

    Ps I have cancelled the badges as well.

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    To be honest I wish I haden't started this now. All I was trying to do was make dancing friendlier and more approachable and the band wagon has been jumped on again, with sarcy comments and nastiness.

    I aint gona bother any more.

    It is funny some people are nasty as hell on here but in real life are nice.

    Ps I have cancelled the badges as well.

    Dave you only ever had good intentions with what you started and that's the main thing - you're not a failure until you give up trying

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    This Forum has turned into a snake pit, I am having nothing to do with it from now on.

    I shall just dance and enjoy myself and leave all the politics to others.

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    A counter-example is a particularly ugly moment at a weekender a couple of years back, when a well-known individual gave a "charity dance" to someone.

    It made her night - right up until the point where he went back to his cronies and started laughing about it.

    .
    I;m not sure I follow the meaning of this point, I regularly give out charity dances, one example is Jordan, of Jordan & Tatiana if he had gone back to his cronies and laughed well it could be expected, my 'charity dances' are done as a total joke personally I wouldn't have a problem with a world champ laughing about it, why would it be a problem to her?

    Quote Originally Posted by Steven666 View Post
    I hate to think what standard I am then!!!
    good enough for me hun

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    To be honest I wish I haden't started this now. All I was trying to do was make dancing friendlier and more approachable and the band wagon has been jumped on again, with sarcy comments and nastiness.

    I aint gona bother any more.

    It is funny some people are nasty as hell on here but in real life are nice.

    Ps I have cancelled the badges as well.
    you should know what this place is like by now DTS the same happend to me with my 'has anyone one gone the extra mile for you' tread

    There are people worth bothering with you just have to let the nasty comments go over your head

    i'll buy my own badge

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    This Forum has turned into a snake pit, I am having nothing to do with it from now on.

    I shall just dance and enjoy myself and leave all the politics to others.
    stop it

    dont let the ******* grind you down

    I'v taken up knitting to try and keep me off here, there are some real ****s but there are also some nice people, don't go DTS we will be left with the ****s, I could do you a nice 'pull over'

  14. #94
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    To be honest I wish I haden't started this now. All I was trying to do was make dancing friendlier and more approachable and the band wagon has been jumped on again, with sarcy comments and nastiness.

    I aint gona bother any more.

    It is funny some people are nasty as hell on here but in real life are nice.
    Aww Dave, don't get a strop on .. no ones being nasty and we know the thread was started with the best of intentions

    As I said, I'm not saying i'm right on this one.. I'm just a rebel

    Come on, Now, where did I put that peanut butter and Guinness?
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    It is funny some people are nasty as hell on here but in real life are nice.
    Aye. It's knowing when people are being two faced is the true skill.

    As far as I', concerned, if yer nasty on here then yer simply nasty off here too, how ever you appear to act. Myself included!

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    This is all a bit sad.

    It is a bit like the People's Front of Judea hating the Judean People's Front.

    As I read back I think nearly everyone is actually agreeing with each other about being welcoming and trying to dance with new people. But somehow we've reached a point where minor differences in approach have become the focus.

    Hey ho.

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by MarkW View Post
    This is all a bit sad.

    It is a bit like the People's Front of Judea hating the Judean People's Front.

    As I read back I think nearly everyone is actually agreeing with each other about being welcoming and trying to dance with new people. But somehow we've reached a point where minor differences in approach have become the focus.

    Hey ho.
    Good summary IMO

    (Although Lou won't thank you for the LoB reference I reckon )

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    I;m not sure I follow the meaning of this point, I regularly give out charity dances, one example is Jordan, of Jordan & Tatiana if he had gone back to his cronies and laughed well it could be expected, my 'charity dances' are done as a total joke personally I wouldn't have a problem with a world champ laughing about it, why would it be a problem to her?
    To me, a charity dance is when someone who is out of my league accepts a dance I've asked for - when I know perfectly well that they wouldn't choose to dance with me of their own free will.

    If I get asked to dance by someone out of my league then it absolutely makes my night. I wouldn't have any illusions that it would be that exciting for my partner but I would be upset if I then saw him go back to his mates and laugh about it afterwards. That would knock my confidence big time. Why would anyone be so mean? Even if the dance was funny then a guy should have the decency not to be so public about mocking it. I believe that sort of behaviour reflects far more badly on the mocker than the mockee. If our dance had funny moments then I would expect to laugh about them with my partner on the floor at the time, not have him be polite but crease up with his mates afterwards.

    I don't have the stature as a dancer to need to take a pledge like this - also, though there's the odd few leads I might avoid, I've never actually said no, and I ask strangers all the time. I think pledging to dance with beginners and people you don't know is a great idea, but I suspect that the ones who are signing up to say they will probably already do it anyway.

    ...It would be horrid if pledgers paid lip service to the idea by dancing with people they wouldn't normally, but then took the p*ss out of them afterwards - that would rather defeat the object of the exercise.

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    A counter-example is a particularly ugly moment at a weekender a couple of years back, when a well-known individual gave a "charity dance" to someone.

    It made her night - right up until the point where he went back to his cronies and started laughing about it. ...
    Are you sure?

    I have seen people wrongly assume laughter is something to do with them whereas it is unrelated.

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Moondancer View Post
    when I know perfectly well that they wouldn't choose to dance with me of their own free will.
    You're in danger of mis-judging people there... Just because you think you're not good enough doesn't mean people won't enjoy dancing with you.

    If you genuinely know they wouldn't chose to dance with you why would you want to ask them

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