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Thread: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

  1. #41
    The Dashing Moderator
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Dancer A: Did I really see you dancing with X earlier?
    Dancer B: Yes. I didn't think they'd be any good, but the DJ played {Insert name of hated/overplayed track*} and I was behind on my Pledge™ so I asked them.

    Dancer X: (overhearing)

    * (Although obviously not "Now I Can Dance" - it's too long)
    Love dance, will travel

  2. #42
    Commercial Operator StokeBloke's Avatar
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    Cool Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by frodo View Post
    One problem with this, is you've taken discrimination on who you dance with out of your hands.

    Ladies, who rush to ask you with always get dances, knowing you're not going to refuse, but you're less likely to get the opportunity to ask others.

    So ladies who don't rush will much of the time lose out.

    It may well be that dancing more with ladies other than those who rush to ask you would have a greater overall positive effect.
    What?!? You have such a crush of ladies asking you to dance that you don't find there is enough time in a freestyle to dance with people you want to?

    It must be so tough being you

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post
    What?!? You have such a crush of ladies asking you to dance that you don't find there is enough time in a freestyle to dance with people you want to?

    It must be so tough being you
    I know it sounds strange but it really is a curse.

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    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by marcusj View Post
    I know it sounds strange but it really is a curse.



    I will stand aside next time I wouldn't want to deprive anyone

  5. #45
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post
    What?!? You have such a crush of ladies asking you to dance that you don't find there is enough time in a freestyle to dance with people you want to?
    Seriously, don't most experienced male dancers have this problem?

    I deal with it by having a "shark" strategy - i.e. I keep moving

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    I will stand aside next time I wouldn't want to deprive anyone
    And I was going to wear a hat especially

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    Registered User frodo's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post
    What?!? You have such a crush of ladies asking you to dance that you don't find there is enough time in a freestyle to dance with people you want to?...
    I wasn't referring to myself, but to the very popular, if this thread is anything to go by, DTS.

    However qualifying the comment David James made. Many experienced male dancers will be in that situation at times.

    Additionally you don't often have the entire freestyle. The ladies who might benefit most from being asked may well be those who are likely to leave early.

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Ok this is turning into another bitch fest. What the hell is wrong with some of you people?

    All I am trying to do is make dancing a happier and less intimidating place, and here we go again with the whining and moaning, honestly at times I cant understand why some people dance, all they seem to do is moan and snipe and bitch about every little thing.

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    I am starting to agree with DTS. DTS has made in my opinion a good pledge for good reasons. He has made the decision to make his pledge public and invited others to join him if they so wish. Many people feel the pledge is a good idea and joined Dave, great.

    As far as I am aware Dave has not insisted that everyone join him, nor has he frowned upon the people that feel that the pledge is not for them.

    So what I don't understand is why the people who don't agree with the pledge are so set in turning people against it, trying to prove that it won't work, is pointless etc. If it's not for you, then don't join the pledge, but please don't try to spoil something that for many people is a good and helpful thing that will hopefully make theirs and others dancing experience an even more positive and enjoyable one than it was before.

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    Batgirl (25th-October-2008), dave the scaffolder (25th-October-2008), jive-vee (25th-October-2008)

  12. #50
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Georgious dancer View Post
    So what I don't understand is why the people who don't agree with the pledge are so set in turning people against it,
    Example?

    Quote Originally Posted by Georgious dancer View Post
    trying to prove that it won't work,
    Well, it's not a serious thing, is it? I mean, come on... What, you think people are honestly going to change their behaviour?

    Despite our efforts, we have serious problems even ensuring people are polite to each other on this forum, and I'm a moderator here. So I can't see this thread as being a serious or realistic option for world peace.

    I mean, there's not even any badges.

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    Well, it's not a serious thing, is it? I mean, come on... What, you think people are honestly going to change their behaviour?
    Changing behaviour is by no means an easy thing to achieve, but it can be done. If just one person changes their behaviour as a result of this thread then some success has been achieved. However this thread may have a greater chance of changing behaviour if it were kept positive without the unecessary negative comments.

    This thread is not out to achieve world peace or to change the attitude of all dancers just to make people think about their actions whilst at a dance event and whether they are happy with their actions or whether they feel that they can and want to make changes for the better.

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  15. #52
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Georgious dancer View Post
    Changing behaviour is by no means an easy thing to achieve, but it can be done. If just one person changes their behaviour as a result of this thread then some success has been achieved. However this thread may have a greater chance of changing behaviour if it were kept positive without the unecessary negative comments.
    But what if we disagree with the whole thing - if we think that if this "succeeds" it might make things worse - then what do we do?

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    *Stands up right hand on heart*

    I will hold your pledge DTS.

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    dave the scaffolder (25th-October-2008)

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post
    But what if we disagree with the whole thing - if we think that if this "succeeds" it might make things worse - then what do we do?
    David behave yourself!!!!

    Stop being so antago...fuc*ing...nistic, there may be TERSE MEMO involved if you keep this up, followed by a foot and ar*e type situation.

    Go and pick on someone else or I will stop transfering large amounts of cash into your pension fund.

    How can a commitment to being nice and approachable in the world of dance actually make it worse?

    This Forum is sometimes a snake pit of venom and bile, some people come on here just to upset and stir aggrevation.

    Personally speaking I will do my best to lighten and make it a nicer place. If anyone finds this offensive and will have nothing to do with improving this hobby of ours, then fair play to them, it is your individual choice to fly and soar or crawl and snarl.

    As a wise man once said to me....Dont cross the road when there is a car coming. Wise words, take from it what you will.

    Ps I think I am actually getting taller you know.

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    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    How can a commitment to being nice and approachable in the world of dance actually make it worse?
    It can't.

    But that's not what you said, you said, in the first post, specific pledges.

    To whit:

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    I will pledge that I will never refuse a dance, unless toilet etc is a calling, and will do my best to get rid of this clique feeling that some people have raised as an issue.
    and:
    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    I will pledge to dance with at least 3 people I have never danced with at every dance I attend.
    And personally, I don't think that's the right approach, which is why I said what I did.

    I don't have a problem with people pledging to take positive action - honest - but I don't believe your specific proposed actions will help; in fact, they may make it worse.

    At best, you're treating the symptoms not the disease. At worse, it'll make things worse for the reasons I outlined ("charity dance" feelings, basically).

    Also, there's no clear definition of what the problem is that you're trying to solve. Is the MJ world really that unfriendly? Personally, I don't think it is, at least not compared to other dance scenes. And there are already well-established structures within MJ to promote friendliness - Taxi dancers, rapid moving-on of partners in classes, teachers dancing with students and so on.

    So I'm not sure that there's a major problem needing to be solved here...

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    jivecat (26th-October-2008)

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Just noticed this thread, spending too much time on the word games

    Personally, I am not going to make any pledges, I just intend carrying on as I always have. I never refuse anyone, if I don't like dancing with someone in particular I will do some 'sharking' as DB calls it.

    I am always happy and smiley and just enjoy the dance and I hope as a partner this comes across. If I particularly love to dance with someone I will be in that crush to get my prey, I might be small but usually manage it.

    As for refusers, I have been refused twice, it is upsetting and as I do bear grudges will never ask them again, the only reason I can imagine is that I am not up to their standard so perhaps they saw it as doing me a favour (I do try and see the good in all people ).

    DTS I can see where you are coming from but people will carry on as they always do.......don't be down hearted they are vastly out numbered and as long as you go and have a fabulous time on a personal level that's all that counts...it is what you make of it.....and you always help make it a goody for me
    Last edited by Jay Jay; 25th-October-2008 at 06:45 PM.

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    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by David Bailey View Post

    So I'm not sure that there's a major problem needing to be solved here...
    personally i think (and correct me if i am wrong dave) he was trying to put together a plan of action to correct problems spelled out in other threads on this forum ie this

    Also as several people said to me at breeze this forum had a really bad feeling for a while just before breeze with a of bitching and whinging we all hoped that the awesome feel good factor that the weekend bought about (whatever or whoever caused it everyone had a great time) would help bring this place back on track as the friendly and welcoming forum it used to be.

    Perhaps the pledge should make people think (if only in a small way) what can i do to be nice to a total stranger in a scarey situation (not being charitable but just by being a good person) you never know you might enjoy it a bit yourself when the feelgood factor of doing something nice kicks in

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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    I thought the whole point of ceroc (don't know about other MJ events as not yet made it to any of those) was to make everyone feel welcome and not refuse people a dance. That's the main reason why I've stopped going to salsa because people would look down on me if I asked for a dance because they didn't recognise me as someone they knew (ok, so I might not have been the best dancer, but I wasn't bad, was a reasonable follower and enjoyed the dancing - but as they'd never danced with me they'd never have known), whereas in ceroc I can get to dance with everyone I ask (usually).

    I've only been refused one dance outright (ie not due to toilet breaks, rest requirements etc) by someone who occasionally goes to my venues and who others actually avoid. And I've only ever refused one dance - with someone who wrenches becuase I'm not willing to have my arm broken off until he improves that (he knows the issue but admits he doesn't change).

    I do ask the better people than me to dance because they're the ones I aspire to dance with and can learn from but I do find it hard to approach people when they're in a big crowd where they obviously know each other and when it seems they dance with those people only. That's what I'm taking this pledge to help with - everyone being willing to dance with people rather than closing people off.

    While I understand that some people only want to dance with people they know and enjoy dancing with, I don't want feel I'm being overlooked just because I'm not known/not the best dancer out there, but I also wouldn't want other people to feel like I'm looking down on them because they might be a beginner.

    So roll on this pledge to keep MJ open to all

    (and sorry to any of the great dancers out there that I make a beeline for...there's obviously a reason why people want to dance with you, so you probably have to live with it unless you want to be seen as unfriendly)

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    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    David behave yourself!!!!

    Stop being so antago...fuc*ing...nistic, there may be TERSE MEMO involved if you keep this up, followed by a foot and ar*e type situation.

    Go and pick on someone else
    or I will stop transfering large amounts of cash into your pension fund.

    How can a commitment to being nice and approachable in the world of dance actually make it worse?

    This Forum is sometimes a snake pit of venom and bile, some people come on here just to upset and stir aggrevation.

    Personally speaking I will do my best to lighten and make it a nicer place. If anyone finds this offensive and will have nothing to do with improving this hobby of ours, then fair play to them, it is your individual choice to fly and soar or crawl and snarl.

    As a wise man once said to me....Dont cross the road when there is a car coming. Wise words, take from it what you will.

    Ps I think I am actually getting taller you know
    .



    hey while he's having a go at you he's leaving me alone.

    so its not just me thinking small man syndrome is playing a part in all of this.

  27. #60
    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Join me in a pledge!!!!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by martingold View Post
    personally i think (and correct me if i am wrong dave) he was trying to put together a plan of action to correct problems spelled out in other threads on this forum ie this
    Which was based on one comment from one individual. Let's not turn it into a global problem or anything without a bit more evidence, huh?

    And:

    Quote Originally Posted by martingold View Post
    Also as several people said to me at breeze this forum had a really bad feeling for a while just before breeze with a of bitching and whinging we all hoped that the awesome feel good factor that the weekend bought about (whatever or whoever caused it everyone had a great time) would help bring this place back on track as the friendly and welcoming forum it used to be.
    Yeah, but that's "this forum", not "the Modern Jive scene".

    Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy for suggestions as to how we can make this forum more welcoming, and I started a thread about this myself - here:
    http://www.cerocscotland.com/forum/f...oderation.html

    But fundamentally, "the forum" refers to "the things members post on the forum" - if people in general want to be bitchy about life, they will be. And given the bad feeling and controversy over the Southport thing, it's inevitable that the forum may have appeared unfriendly and intimidating to some newcomers.

    Now, the moderator team were aware of this as a problem, and we did our best to avoid the worst of this, by moving threads into private areas. And, hah, of course we then got accused of Nazi-like censorship for doing so

    I'm still very open to suggestions as to how we can make the forum more welcoming, however.

    Quote Originally Posted by martingold View Post
    Perhaps the pledge should make people think (if only in a small way) what can i do to be nice to a total stranger in a scarey situation (not being charitable but just by being a good person) you never know you might enjoy it a bit yourself when the feelgood factor of doing something nice kicks in
    If you really want to help new people, then I reckon your best bet is to become a taxi dancer / encourage others to do so.

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