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Thread: Confidence issues in the Blues Room

  1. #41
    Senior Member Minnie M's Avatar
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    Re: Confidence issues in the Blues Room

    Quote Originally Posted by rubyred
    ........I do know what you mean about feeling intimidated. More recently I have been reminded of how I used to feel on a regular basis at Jive and that is at Tango Milongas that I go to now.


    It's all about confidence, doesn't matter what the room is called or the dance style. There is two types of confidence, one in your dancing ability (of the relevant style) and the second your own personal confidence.

    I have seen the less experienced dancer asking all the best dancers to dance (including UK & International teachers) because they have that inner confidence.

    In the old days we only had one hall, and therefore there was a mix of all levels etc., and therefore wasn't intimidating (unless you stood by the stage)


    --ooOoo--
    Age is a question of mind over matter, if you don't mind, it doesn't matter
    Leroy (Satchel) Paige (1906-1982)

    Mickey Mouse's girlfriend, Minnie, made her film debut, along with Mickey, in "Steamboat Willie" on November 18, 1928.
    That date is recognized as her official birthday.

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    Re: Confidence issues in the Blues Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Agente Secreto View Post
    Diana

    We've danced several times in Blues Rooms at weekenders and when you've come along to Sara's and I've never felt you lacking confidence when we're together. We've had lots of good dances.

    One trick I use when I first get to the Blues Room is to seize someone that I know I dance well with (or that makes me feel like I dance well) and after that I tend to retain the feel-good factor all night and everything seems to come together.

    I think that part of the challenge of a Blues Room is that the music demands that you think and interpret, and sometimes how you do that and how your partner does that simply doesn't gell, and you can come off the floor wondering what you've done wrong. If that happens I go back to seizing someone I'm good with again........

    I've been to Blues Rooms and felt great, then the following night felt useless. One Southport after what felt to me like a particularly crap night's dancing a lady I'd never danced with before came up to me at the end and gave me a big cuddle for making her feel great when we danced - which was a complete surprise to me. I suppose the message is don't be hard on yourself since it's more than likely that the guys you've danced with have enjoyed the experience

    Agent 000
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    I think you are spot on here. Sometimes you just don't gell with a partner - it can be a clash of styles, it may be that you just try to interpret the music in different ways and it is not always possible to adapt completely to one another's interpretations.

    I also find that there are some tracks that I struggle with more than others. If you know the partner you are dancing with and have had good dances with them before you can simply laugh this off and perhaps both agree that the track was dodgy, but if you don't know them it can make you feel inadequate and dent your confidence somewhat. It isn't always possible to avoid dancing to such such tracks, unless you go into refuser mode (which is of course the dark side and something I would very rarely consider doing).

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    Re: Confidence issues in the Blues Room

    I think there's no easy answer to confidence issues. Yes, they probably are "all in your head", but they still need to be dealt with in a way that makes you happy. I have always found all weekenders to be emotional roller-coasters, it is just something I have to accept before going on one. That's almost why I like them, because nothing can compare with the high that you get when things go well- you just have to pay for that with the lows, or even just the mediums.

    Although the standard is often high in the Blues room remember that all sorts of people like to dance there, not just dance deities, and they might be delighted that you are asking them for a dance.

    I think I was lucky in that I started spending a lot of time in the Blues rooms about 5 or 6 years ago before they had acquired any kind of "reputation" either in my own head, or anywhere else! At the time, like you, I danced there because I liked the music. I was often out of my depth, but it really improved my dancing; as a follower, if you've bitten off more than you can chew, the only recourse is to rely on the lead - which improved my following no end! Also, I was so mad about dancing at the time that I wasn't going to let a little thing like feeling scared stop me. I was a lot less aware of the pressure to "give someone a good dance". I just wanted to learn and was prepared to do whatever it took to learn. The thing that gave me confidence was being quite focussed on what I wanted to do and being relatively unaware of other peripheral issues like what other people might or might not be expecting from me. Not sure if I can recommend that as a policy for anyone else however.

    Sadly, that has changed a lot, and I now feel a lot less confident in the Blues room than elsewhere. The problems of finding someone to dance with that other people have mentioned can be overwhelming, and I get turned down more in the Blues room than in the main room, I think. It often seems that when the music ends everyone either stays on the floor or swaps partners with someone who's already on the floor, so that no-one actually becomes available. Or that's what it feels like, anyway. So it's definitely not just you that feels that way. I'm not likely to approach anyone who I even mildly expect might turn me down, fortunately there are usually lots of other people; if not, I just go to another room to dance in.

    I've always preferred the Blues Room at Camber because it's more intimate, nice and dark so there's less of a feeling that it's a spectator sport. At SouthportJA I came to prefer dancing in the Latin Room or even the Main Hall once the crowds had gone because I liked the feeling of space, privacy and anonimity. Also, I think the music played in Blues rooms perhaps has altered slightly so it's less to my taste; at the same time the music played elsewhere has also changed so that, particularly late at night, DJs play chilled stuff but not actually somnolent that's more like the old!

    All in all, I think it's perhaps time that the "mystique" of the Blues Rooms got punctured a little.

    Oh yes, and don't bother with the alcohol. You'll be lot more confident if you know that you aren't going to fall over during the spins.

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    Re: Confidence issues in the Blues Room

    Quote Originally Posted by jivecat View Post

    All in all, I think it's perhaps time that the "mystique" of the Blues Rooms got punctured a little.
    What mystique ?

    It's a bunch of people who can't dance fast isn't it ?


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    Re: Confidence issues in the Blues Room

    Quote Originally Posted by TA Guy View Post
    What mystique ?

    It's a bunch of people who can't dance fast isn't it ?

    Yup, that's the reason why you'll find the zimmer-frame crowd in there!

  6. #46
    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Confidence issues in the Blues Room

    Quote Originally Posted by jivecat View Post
    I've always preferred the Blues Room at Camber .
    Quote Originally Posted by jivecat View Post
    Yup, that's the reason why you'll find the zimmer-frame crowd in there!
    hmmmmmmm



    Quote Originally Posted by TA Guy View Post
    What mystique ?

    It's a bunch of people who can't dance fast isn't it ?

    or can dance with a bit of musicality unlike the main room bouncers

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    Re: Confidence issues in the Blues Room

    Quote Originally Posted by jivecat View Post
    It often seems that when the music ends everyone either stays on the floor or swaps partners with someone who's already on the floor, so that no-one actually becomes available. Or that's what it feels like, anyway.
    Thank God somebody else noticed that! I kept thinking it was just me having a senior moment...

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    Re: Confidence issues in the Blues Room

    Quote Originally Posted by emmylou25 View Post
    My theory is the more you're seen to be up dancing, you'll get more dances - whichever room - it's just getting over that first hurdle which is scary.

    Quote Originally Posted by jivecat View Post
    It often seems that when the music ends everyone either stays on the floor or swaps partners with someone who's already on the floor, so that no-one actually becomes available. Or that's what it feels like, anyway.
    Quote Originally Posted by nebula View Post
    Thank God somebody else noticed that! I kept thinking it was just me having a senior moment...
    Don't know about others but I normally only manage 2-3 tracks before I need a break/drink/towel in the Blues Room (and Main Room) - and from my observations you've always got regular traffic on and off the floor that serves as the target for dances. I usually find I can catch the attention briefly of people I want to dance with while they are still on the floor unless they're dancing with a 'deity' of course (apologies to anyone whose connection I've temporarily broken in the process).

    Soemtimes I get asked to dance just as I'm getting up with someone else, so sometimes go onto the floor 'booked' 1 or 2 dances in advance. Then there are always those dances that you just can't end - sometimes 4 or 5 tracks in a row are needed for you and your partner to explore the moment in the dance (still remember one of these nights where 4 tracks with Firefly at Red Hot and Blue, with Dance Demon on the decks, seemed to pass in a flash). This can of course frustrate the people coming in from the side, but speaking as someone that is far from being a 'dance deity' I can't say I feel challenged in finding someone to dance with in the Blues Room.

    Quote Originally Posted by jivecat View Post
    Oh yes, and don't bother with the alcohol. You'll be lot more confident if you know that you aren't going to fall over during the spins.
    Couldn't agree more - it's funny really that before I started MJ-ing I used to have to have a few beers inside me before you could get me up on the floor, but now if I've had a few beers I won't dance. Alcohol helps with inhibitions but I'm not sure it does much for the connection you need on the floor in the Blues Room. I'm now 'one can dan' when it comes to alcohol, unless you count a few tinnies of Relentless to give me some energy through the night.

    Agent 000
    Licensed to Dance

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    Registered User Whitebeard's Avatar
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    Re: Confidence issues in the Blues Room

    Quote Originally Posted by jivecat View Post
    Yup, that's the reason why you'll find the zimmer-frame crowd in there!
    So that's where I can find my missed-'ickle frame

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    Re: Confidence issues in the Blues Room

    Easily Led - I'm not sure where in the country you lurk under logs, so this might be a bit difficult - But:

    Can you get to Fanck and Sheena's workshops ?

    I was addicted to Blues well before the workshops, but the workshops gave me so much more confidence...


    I originally went to the Blues room because I adored the music, but once i discovered some of my favourite dancers in there I wanted to know so much more....

    Whitetiger

    P.S. I broke my shyness at my first freestyle party - I asked one of the leaders that had the connection and moves I had been admiring for the previous X tracks. From then on although I enjoy the ordinary room, I usually get the biggest buzz from Blues.. Blues slut that I am

    Thanks to those at the Scottish Champs You guys know who you are Thanks for making my Monday at work so much more bearable (I'm revelling in the memories now )

    WT

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    Re: Confidence issues in the Blues Room

    Quote Originally Posted by Agente Secreto View Post

    Don't know about others but I normally only manage 2-3 tracks before I need a break/drink/towel in the Blues Room (and Main Room) - and from my observations you've always got regular traffic on and off the floor that serves as the target for dances. I usually find I can catch the attention briefly of people I want to dance with while they are still on the floor unless they're dancing with a 'deity' of course (apologies to anyone whose connection I've temporarily broken in the process).

    ...........This can of course frustrate the people coming in from the side, but speaking as someone that is far from being a 'dance deity' I can't say I feel challenged in finding someone to dance with in the Blues Room.

    As a highly capable leader, I should think you wouldn't! (That's if you are who I think you are!)
    There are many times where I have done the same - had series of effortless dances moving seamlessly from one partner to the next, and nothing feels more brilliant, but I think we're talking here of the times when, for whatever reason, it doesn't work like that - and it can be very demoralising. As several people on this thread have described.

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