what have you done to make you feel proud.

[Martin]

Or is Andy "naughty"?

Most girls like a naughty boy...

The trick is finding one who is not married...

[Twirly]

I was genuinely taken aback and hurt that after so much affection had been shown to you by myself and others, that you could publicly say you were surprised to have people show you consideration and friendship.

Sometimes affection cannot be accepted due to a person's their own low opinion of themselves. I don't know if this is the case with Fletch, but it sounds like it. It now sounds as though she's made a fairly major breakthrough in accepting affection - at least I hope so.

Although I don't know your personal situations, Fletch and Stokebloke, I've been like this in the past and this thing sounds familiar.

Sadly, sometimes it's easier to deny the friendship/affection as accepting it means letting the person in, and opens you up to the risk of being hurt. But without taking that risk, you can't get close to and connect fully with someone else.

All the best to both of you

[Dreadful Scathe]

Or is Andy "naughty"?

and should he be "banned" (not "from" anywhere as such, just banned in general )

[Double Trouble]

Me and Trouble have given up smoking today

Its hard but will be worth it this time next year

Scarface out xxx

From July last year...

i have given up woman, wots up with ya. !! - i am a non smoker. and whats worse I HATE SMOKERS.

Just one post of many over the last few years stating you have given up smoking.

I don't mean to pessimistic, but I look forward to taking £20 off Scarface in a months time when him and Trouble fail, for the millionth time to give up smoking.

*Like taking candy from a baby.

*if that's not an incentive to make me eat my words, I dunno what is.

[Trouble]

I look forward to taking a picture of the said money from your grubby little mitts sis....

Giving up is never a problem. Its staying off em.....

I have stayed off them three years before then gone back on...... Its an addiction and not one to be laughed at. You never stop wanting a cigerette even though when i no longer smoke... I HATE EVERY SMOKER IN THE WORLD..... hypocrite i maybe but thats the truth.

So, as i say £20 easy bit... its the rest of ya life thats the hard bit.

[CJ]

So, as i say £20 easy bit... its the rest of ya life thats the hard bit.

OK, then...

slightly off topic, BUT...

Trouble,

I shall save £20 per month every month for next 5 years. Stay off the fags for the next 5 years, it's yours to do with whatever U will.

That is unconditional.

What may make it more interesting is if U save £20 per month from the money U save by not smoking... and if U do smoke within the next 5 years... it's mine to do whatever I choose with it.

U can choose to save or not: my offer is good.

[Gav]

You never stop wanting a cigerette even though when i no longer smoke

Speak for yourself. I haven't smoked in 13 years and I haven't found it difficult for about 12 and a half years.

[Gav]

OK, then...

slightly off topic, BUT...

Trouble,

I shall save £20 per month every month for next 5 years. Stay off the fags for the next 5 years, it's yours to do with whatever U will.

That is unconditional.

What may make it more interesting is if U save £20 per month from the money U save by not smoking... and if U do smoke within the next 5 years... it's mine to do whatever I choose with it.

U can choose to save or not: my offer is good.

Ooooo, can you do that retrospectively for me?

[Trouble]

Speak for yourself. I haven't smoked in 13 years and I haven't found it difficult for about 12 and a half years.

well arn't you the lucky one. ffsz I forgot Gav your just perfect through and through .

As for the offer CJ ------ im not brave enough but thanks for the temptation of it.

[scarface]

double it CJ I,ll have some of that.

Scarface out

[martingold]

Yes, you are the Martin I was referring to. I wasn't being vague, I had quoted you earlier in the post.

And how do you expect us to know that the use of a smiley is sarcastic? Most of us like to think of ourselves as nice. Martin said he doesn't feel able to call himself nice - and then goes on to list the ways he feels he is nice.

Laughing at someone when they say the think they're nice is not something that is on the list of nice things. It's on the other, "not nice", list. But Martin has chosen to do it and has chosen not to apologise for it

Funnily enough i have always thought you were nice which is why i thought you would see the joke as i have spoken to you often over quiet a few subjects i dont think we have ever fallen out
I always thought this place was a good one for banter and so used the smiley as a joke you obviously have a problem with that which makes me wonder why
It seems sad that a place like this cant be used as such and people take stuff like that to heart
I would never take something said on here to heart as its not real life

The fact that you cant make fun of yourself surprises me but your comments about me are a bit odd i said do nice things for people yet would not describe myself as nice, others can if they like yet i expect no praise for what i do

[Double Trouble]

Speak for yourself. I haven't smoked in 13 years and I haven't found it difficult for about 12 and a half years.

Me too. As an ex-smoker myself, I can say the thought of smoking again makes me sick.

Sis, if you give up for long enough and stick to it, you WILL feel the same.

Good luck to both of you. I'd rather hand Scarface £20 than have you leaving fag butts in my beautiful garden again.

[Trouble]

Me too. As an ex-smoker myself, I can say the thought of smoking again makes me sick.

Sis, if you give up for long enough and stick to it, you WILL feel the same.

Good luck to both of you. I'd rather hand Scarface £20 than have you leaving fag butts in my beautiful garden again.

sorry to be difficult here but you was never a full time smoker.... you do not appreciate the long term hardships of permanent giving up.... and Gav, if you gave up 13 years ago, you also gave up after a small amount of smoking... i have been a hardened smoker since i was 13 years old. Yes the thought of having a fag after three years sickens me but keeping from putting a fag in ya gob on a drunken night out, which is what happened last time.. is not easy.

[Gav]

You never stop wanting a cigerette even though when i no longer smoke

Speak for yourself. I haven't smoked in 13 years and I haven't found it difficult for about 12 and a half years.

well arn't you the lucky one. ffsz I forgot Gav your just perfect through and through .

Gav, if you gave up 13 years ago, you also gave up after a small amount of smoking

I'd been smoking for 8 years by then and I think you'll find that the level of addiction is no different between a couple of months and 50 years. It's breaking the habit which is affected by length of time.

I'm not trying to make out I'm perfect, but I know I'm not the only one who has found it relatively easy.

I was trying to suggest that sometimes it's easier to blame the cigarettes or nicotine, thereby giving yourself a pre-prepared excuse for failure.

Don't prepare for failure, prepare for success.

I'm sure we've gone through all this on the forum before too...

[scarface]

Your £20.00 will be mine Double Trouble,

Scarface out xxx

[Jivejunkie]

I'm confused to be honest. I read a statement like "its sometimes hard to believe I have real friends that would do something like that for me" to be a nice statement of thankfulness for everyone who has ever been helpful, with an acceptance that it was not always deserving (well done Fletch). For it to turn into a bitter response and an even more bitter rebuttal suggests there was already problems between the two people involved. Basically, I think you soft southerners are all weird, and should try and get on a bit better

Why do so many of these threads turn from a basically nice comment made voluntarily into some sort of a bitching fest?

I'm sure the original comments made by Fletch weren't meant to put anybodies nose out of joint, I'm sure she appreciates any help she has recieved in the past, and you know she does.

Come on were all mates here

[Double Trouble]

you was never a full time smoker....

My heart wasn't in it...or should I say my lungs.

[Dreadful Scathe]

Come on were all mates here

some of us have seen some of the others naked in fact

[fletch]

I understand after re-reading your post that what you said could indeed be taken another way. When you came to respond to me you had a couple of choices Fletch, either point this misunderstanding out or denigrate the help and friendship that has been shown to you by me (and others) in the past. It does seem sad that you decided to do the latter. After reading your response I am now fully aware of your feelings towards those gestures of friendship that were offered

I was genuinely taken aback and hurt that after so much affection had been shown to you by myself and others, that you could publicly say you were surprised to have people show you consideration and friendship.

I am not perfect. So, if me misunderstanding of your words has caused you distress, then I unreservedly apologise. :

as you both made it perfectly clear where you stood after I posted.

but....

Ok I know i'm blond but I am completely confused.

I'm not sure what your saying at all, how could you take my post two ways, and what choices did I have to point out to you after you posted in responce?

To be honest for the majority of your post I could only see you wanting your pound of flesh for what you believe I did you a friend of yours, and not appreciating a gustier which was made for possibly the wrong reasons by another. The gustier you TB and others made for my birthday were among some of the fondest I have, I had the photo of that night as my Profile photo ever since, and have only just this morning taken it off reluctantly, it was to sad to look at anymore. What followed that night changed our friendship forever.

When I posted origonally to say thank you to GD and Paul, I didn't meen no one has ever shown freindship towards me or leave any one out.

Its very stange some times when I get a comment like 'cos you are so slim' I think who me yes thats me cos I am now, I forget some times im not fat.

Its hard for me to think some one would be nice to me, cos I forget, i'm not as horrid as I used to be, you might have a different interpritiation of it, but the responce I got from you is more in keeping with what I would expect.

Sometimes affection cannot be accepted due to a person's their own low opinion of themselves. I don't know if this is the case with Fletch, but it sounds like it. It now sounds as though she's made a fairly major breakthrough in accepting affection - at least I hope so.

Although I don't know your personal situations, Fletch and Stokebloke, I've been like this in the past and this thing sounds familiar.

Sadly, sometimes it's easier to deny the friendship/affection as accepting it means letting the person in, and opens you up to the risk of being hurt. But without taking that risk, you can't get close to and connect fully with someone else.

All the best to both of you :

This This is a big step for me and some soul searching, but to be perfectly honest Twirl, your right, iv had one relationship in 7 years and the way I feel it will be a lot longer for the next one.

I often say I can cope with a smack in the gob, but it hurts a whole lot more when your hurt on the inside.

I have a long way to go before I can accept me! and a lot more giving to do before I have paid back! I am happy with who I am now, and i'm happy looking in the mirror each day, asking myself, have I been the best person I can be today, and looking back I can mostly answering yes I am, but there a lot more to do! i'm no 'do gooder' and make mistakes, but I do have a value on myself and for once in my life its not a value of ££££££ I do have my own set on rule I try and live by, I don't expect anyone to live by them they are mine, not right not wrong, just mine.

I would never take another man in any kind of relationship....my rule.

I only want's people to be with me that want to be with me, not cos they think I better sit with, visit, go around to 'fletch's' or she will have a funny with me............my rule. Thats maybe why I find it hard to understand why anyone would want me in there company knowing I don't want to be there?

Hey, do I always say we all have strengths and weaknesses, I have no problem in telling someone they have long fingernail or get them glove off thats is easy for me, but 121 it hurts to much, why do you think i'm always surrounded with people, there my comfort blanket.

[stewart38]

This This is a big step for me and some soul searching, but to be perfectly honest Twirl, your right, iv had one relationship in 7 years and the way I feel it will be a lot longer for the next one.

you posted 2.38pm

First back to answer after counting up (50 mins)

My answer 134, Ok do I win ??