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Thread: what have you done to make you feel proud.

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    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Smile what have you done to make you feel proud.

    I wanted to share an experience I had last night with you.



    I also thought that it would be nice for others to share any proud moment we have.




    Earlier this week I was all set to go the 'Hammersmith' Saturday night.

    I was due to go to Ceroc HQ for a meeting, 'The Mail on Sunday' were doing a photo shoot there with me and Joe was going to spend the day with my good friends Georgious Dancer and Paul (bulldog) it was GD birthday the Tuesday.

    Well, it seemed doomed, the meeting was cancelled, so I was going to spend the day in London site seeing.

    My wisdom tooth started playing up so I booked to have it removed, wasn't sure how it would leave me feeling? + i'd had a message during the week, from some one in London, leaving totaly confussed and sad.

    I then got a call from my friends Shaz and Shannon (Joe's dance partner) who live in Bristol to say her dog had been rushed to the vet and needed an emergency op, she didn't pull through, and although i'm not an animal lover my heart went out to them I know how much they care for this rescue dog. I was torn, having made a commitment to GD and Paul to go to London, and wanting to give my friend a hug, Shaz's car had broken down in the week and she could only get to Gloucester.


    London was looking less and less a place I needed to be on Saturday.


    Like true friends GD and Paul understood and I went with Joe to Gloucester...


    As I was dancing at the front of the stage Joe came rushing down saying I was needed at the reception desk.

    As I approached all I could see was bunches of flowers and balloons, and who were behind them, GD and Paul, they had driven up from London with birthday presents for Joe, flowers for Shaz chocolates for Shannon and flowers and a balloon for me. OMG


    I lay in bed last night thinking about what they did, its sometimes hard to believe I have real friends that would do something like that for me, the only people I have in my life from before my lifestyle change are my two children and my mother, I have NO ONE AT ALL from before. (not that I deserve any)




    It got me thinking have you ever gone the extra mile?

    Has anyone ever gone the extra mile for you?



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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    I lay in bed last night thinking about what they did, its sometimes hard to believe I have real friends that would do something like that for me,

    I find that you reap what you sow

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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    ...It got me thinking have you ever gone the extra mile?

    Has anyone ever gone the extra mile for you?


    I have lived long enough to know that all sorts of people that I do not know have gone the "extra mile" for me, unseen and unappreciated, not knowing who they were doing it for. To them it was not "an extra mile", but just far enough to do their job properly, to be a decent human being. to them

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    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by Toasti View Post
    I find that you reap what you sow


    Quote Originally Posted by bigdjiver View Post
    I have lived long enough to know that all sorts of people that I do not know have gone the "extra mile" for me, unseen and unappreciated, not knowing who they were doing it for. To them it was not "an extra mile", but just far enough to do their job properly, to be a decent human being. to them
    i find most people do stuff which to them seems normal yet to others would seem like they were going that extra mile I know on numurous occasions people have said i am a good man for doing something yet to me i couldnt understand why they said it as the i would not have done anything else

    Most people and especially dancers have a good heart

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    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by Toasti View Post
    I find that you reap what you sow :
    Its took years for me to find that out

    Quote Originally Posted by martingold View Post





    Most people and especially dancers have a good heart
    I think it depends on which circles you mix in, maybe most nice people stick together, and most not nice people stick together, if you happen to be in the 'not nice' world most people arn't nice.


    if that make sence, I know what I meen

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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post

    Earlier this week I was all set to go the 'Hammersmith' Saturday night.

    London was looking less and less a place I needed to be on Saturday.
    For a fire cracker night Hammersmith was supposed to be, ie extension, second Utopia room, food - it turned into a damp squib.
    Plus the floor was sticky, don't know how much as i was leary of trying it out, went on to somewhere else. I do so love to spin...

    You made the right decision Fletch.

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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    I think it depends on which circles you mix in, maybe most nice people stick together, and most not nice people stick together, if you happen to be in the 'not nice' world most people arn't nice.
    Unfortunately there are certain kinds of "not nice" people who see us nice people as "prey"

    The world of MJ is mosly packed with nice people - which means that certain kinds of "not nice" will be attracted to us. Even when we find a "not nice" it's difficult for the "nice-&-think-the-best-of-everyone" types to believe that someone can be so "not nice". And when some of us point out that people have been "not nice" there are certain "nice" people who ask "how can you say such nasty things about someone?" We can say it because some people do nasty things - especially to us "nice" people

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    Cool Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by Astro View Post
    Plus the floor was sticky, don't know how much as i was leary of trying it out, went on to somewhere else. I do so love to spin...
    Sorry to hear you didn't have as much fun as you'd hoped for Astro. Where did you go on to in the end? Was it better? Did you manage to get lots of spinning at the second venue?

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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    I then got a call from my friends Shaz and Shannon (Joe's dance partner) who live in Bristol to say her dog had been rushed to the vet and needed an emergency op, she didn't pull through, and although i'm not an animal lover my heart went out to them I know how much they care for this rescue dog. I was torn, having made a commitment to GD and Paul to go to London, and wanting to give my friend a hug, Shaz's car had broken down in the week and she could only get to Gloucester. ......Like true friends GD and Paul understood and I went with Joe to Gloucester...

    As I approached all I could see was bunches of flowers and balloons, and who were behind them, GD and Paul, they had driven up from London with birthday presents for Joe, flowers for Shaz chocolates for Shannon and flowers and a balloon for me. OMG
    What is even more endearing Fletch, is that you can see that what Paul and Tash did, was to be real, thoughtful friends. You don't however seem to realise you were doing the same for Shaz and Shannon.

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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post
    Sorry to hear you didn't have as much fun as you'd hoped for Astro. Where did you go on to in the end? Was it better? Did you manage to get lots of spinning at the second venue?
    No, I didn't go anywhere where there was dancing, I meant I didn't want to stay at H/smith and not be able to spin.

    Plus I didn't want to re-wreck my thigh, which i damaged on holiday. That was the main consideration.

    As DB said, there's always another night, but you may not be able to go to it. I forget his exact words.

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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Thanks to thurs and sat night my confidence is back in dancing

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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by Toasti View Post
    I find that you reap what you sow
    This is so true. I live my life in a very simple way. Treat other people how you would want to be treated. I have tried to teach my children this as I honestly feel you won't go far wrong living your life this way.

    Sadly there are too many people out there who do things purely for selfish reasons. They are nice to somebody because they want something. Because that somebody is useful to them. They want to look like a good person. They need to seem important and will use anyone and walk over anyone to meet their own needs.This makes me so cross. Watching people being used makes my blood boil. Manipulation is rive everywhere. Sadly even in the dance world.

    The naturally nice people. The good honest and trustworthy people will shine through. Just like the ugly people. The bad people and the users will also show their true colours. We all see the truth in the end and then it's our choice what we do about it.

    Personally I treat others with respect and with kindness until they prove they don't deserve to be treated in that way. I will go out of my way to make people feel special. If it's somebody's birthday I will travel miles and go right out of my way to make them feel special. So they know they are someone special in my eyes. If they chose to ignore that and throw it right back in my face the moment it suits them to do so, the moment that's the easy option to take then that person really wasn't the friend I though they were so end off.

    To me it really is very simple.

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    Unhappy Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    I lay in bed last night thinking about what they did, its sometimes hard to believe I have real friends that would do something like that for me, the only people I have in my life from before my lifestyle change are my two children and my mother, I have NO ONE AT ALL from before. (not that I deserve any)
    I read this post with a very heavy heart Fletch

    I seem to recall not that long ago Mac going out of his way to get special permission from Mike Ellard, then spending hundreds of pounds on a surprise birthday bash for you at a weekender. A party that at least a dozen people gave time to arrange and set up for you.

    I would remind you of the times when we would travel to venues as a group and I would drive you there, and home again in the early hours because you find driving so tiring. Meaning you could arrive fresh and ready to dance, and not have to worry about staying back to chat afterwards because you knew you would be driven safely home.

    Then I remembered a time that Twirlie Bird and me realised that you would be on your own on your birthday evening so we dropped in to surprise you with a bouquet of flowers so you would know that people who cared were thinking about you.

    Often it's the more mundane things that friends do that are important at the time, but then get swiftly forgotten. Like traveling down to your home just to fix your broken toilet. Unglamourous, but pratical.

    I seem to remember **** ****** spending so much time and effort to look after your interests at many weekenders. Carrying your bags, getting your electricity and hot water sorted for you. Giving his time to you so that your weekenders would be enhanced.

    Ohh, not to mention the people who recognised your financial situation with your young family and opened their homes to you so a weekend of "London dancing" can be had at minimal outlay.

    On a financial note, there are the organisers who also sypathise with your single parent financial situation and allow not just you, but more often than not these days your kids free entry into many of their events.

    Of course I am not trying to detract from the lovely gesture that Tash and Paul made. I would say any of the above made me feel proud, and like I was going the extra mile for someone. I cannot speak for the promoters, or the others who have given you so much, but for me personally, your comment "its sometimes hard to believe I have real friends that would do something like that for me" leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth
    Last edited by Lory; 6th-October-2008 at 09:22 AM. Reason: As requested, removed a name

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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    StokeBloke, from what I read, Fletch was giving over the most recent example.

    She was also making a comparison, to her life before dance.

    I did not see that she was being ungrateful, of the many good friends that she has made since dancing - and the many good things that have enhanced her life, since dance was a part of her life.

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    Cool Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by Martin View Post
    StokeBloke, from what I read, Fletch was giving over the most recent example.

    She was also making a comparison, to her life before dance.

    I did not see that she was being ungrateful, of the many good friends that she has made since dancing - and the many good things that have enhanced her life, since dance was a part of her life.
    Really. That's an interesting take on "its sometimes hard to believe I have real friends" Martin

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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post
    Really. That's an interesting take on "its sometimes hard to believe I have real friends" Martin
    I do not know your personal relationship with Fletch, so I will step back and you guys can chat about that.

    I do know people who find it hard that "anyone" would want to be friends with them, even though they have many friends now...

    I took "It is sometimes hard to believe I have real friends" as a quote from someone who has had hard times with friends in the past and now have good friends.

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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post
    Really. That's an interesting take on "its sometimes hard to believe I have real friends" Martin
    Fletch didn't say that it was hard to believe she has just two real friends. I think you might be reading too much into it Stokebloke.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fletch
    its sometimes hard to believe I have real friends that would do something like that for me,
    To me that is just one of those moments of realisation, that Fletch is grateful for those friends that have done the things you talk about and she feels moved by one such occurance coming during a tough time for her, therefore it touched her deeply. I've no doubt that she was just as touched with your generosity at the time too, she just didn't start a thread about it.
    Some friend's goodness does escape our gratitude as it sometimes comes at times when we may be preoccupied with other concerns. It however is still gratifying for the friend doing the giving as they can get as much if not more from the act of helping/giving than the person receiving. We can all be proud of the things we have done for others.

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    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirlie Bird View Post
    The naturally nice people. The good honest and trustworthy people will shine through. Just like the ugly people. The bad people and the users will also show their true colours. We all see the truth in the end and then it's our choice what we do about it.
    In an ideal world, yes but sadly, some of the bad people are very clever and manipulative and when they realise they've been sussed out, they simply move on to the next bunch of 'nice, friendly and trusting' people.

    Personally I treat others with respect and with kindness until they prove they don't deserve to be treated in that way.
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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post
    I read this post with a very heavy heart Fletch

    I seem to recall not that long ago Mac going out of his way to get special permission from Mike Ellard, then spending hundreds of pounds on a surprise birthday bash for you at a weekender. A party that at least a dozen people gave time to arrange and set up for you.


    Then I remembered a time that Twirlie Bird and me realised that you would be on your own on your birthday evening so we dropped in to surprise you with a bouquet of flowers so you would know that people who cared were thinking about you.

    Often it's the more mundane things that friends do that are important at the time, but then get swiftly forgotten. Like traveling down to your home just to fix your broken toilet. Unglamourous, but pratical.

    I seem to remember **** ****** spending so much time and effort to look after your interests at many weekenders. Carrying your bags, getting your electricity and hot water sorted for you. Giving his time to you so that your weekenders would be enhanced.

    Ohh, not to mention the people who recognised your financial situation with your young family and opened their homes to you so a weekend of "London dancing" can be had at minimal outlay.



    Of course I am not trying to detract from the lovely gesture that Tash and Paul made. I would say any of the above made me feel proud, and like I was going the extra mile for someone. I cannot speak for the promoters, or the others who have given you so much, but for me personally, your comment "its sometimes hard to believe I have real friends that would do something like that for me" leaves a very bitter taste in my mouth :
    I also remember the person who had made such an effort then leaving the party with another member of the group to spend time alone with them behind my back and lying about it, the then posted on the forum that I had 'sexuality issues' cos I said NO. this post remained for all to see.

    I also remember due to the distress this caused me saying it would be impossible for me to sit in this persons company because of it, and not asking you to choose just understand it would be hard for me, and you not understanding.


    Yes, it is difficult as a single parent, and yes I remember us travelling long distances together, I don't ever remember you offering to contribute to the petrol. but thank you for helping me with my toilte, and thank you for dropping in on your way past on my birthday, weren't you going to Wolverhampton the evening?

    I'm not happy with you naming **** on the forum, I know he doesn't post I take you have his permission to say what you have.

    He may of helped me as you say, but it was my understanding he felt he wanted 'to give something back' **** was hell bent on quitting dancing at one point, when I collected him from his home a took him to meet ****** to help him with his dancing, as I did week after week. I watch as people hid from him and hurt for him they were so cruel, I also remember a group at the Bromsgrove 't' dance moving away from us cos I asked him to join us, but this was all before your time, and you weren't there to see our friendship start, and how much effort I put in, I don't need to post the details on hear.

    I have been put up at somones home in London, funny it was after I had already opend my home first, but then perhaps i'm just tight and generosity isn't one of my finer pionts

    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post
    Really. That's an interesting take on "its sometimes hard to believe I have real friends" Martin
    A real friend would have understood the distress a post like that made and would have had some compassion.

    Its true it will all come out in the end
    Last edited by Lory; 6th-October-2008 at 09:25 AM. Reason: As requested, removed some names

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    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: what have you done to make you feel proud.

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    see us nice people
    ~~~~~~~~~~~
    snip
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~
    us "nice" people

    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post

    Often it's the more mundane things that friends do that are important at the time, but then get swiftly forgotten.


    Quote Originally Posted by Twirlie Bird View Post
    Personally I treat others with respect and with kindness until they prove they don't deserve to be treated in that way.

    To me it really is very simple.

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