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Thread: What do you ladies REALLY think?

  1. #41
    Registered User Poi Boi's Avatar
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
    OK - here is a question for the guys. I danced with a guy last night after the int class who was clearly quite nervous. He got jumbled up in the moves we'd just learned so I said 'lead anything'. I smiled a lot, I threw in a few wiggles and I think by the end of the dance he was a bit more relaxed.

    Should I start asking him to dance every so often in the hope that he gets more relaxed dancing with me?
    Short answer = Yes.

    Longer answer = most definately. If you like the guy, or can see some potential there, nothing does more for a guys confidence that having the experienced women come and ask them to dance. Also, the more you dance with the same person, the more you get used to their style, but also them, and it becomes more relaxed as you get to know the person on the dancefloor, even if you don't actually talk to them much.

    It's amazing how close you feel to people who go dancing, and yet you could know next to nothing about their lives outside the dancehall.

  2. #42
    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Poi Boi View Post
    It's amazing how close you feel to people who go dancing, and yet you could know next to nothing about their lives outside the dancehall.
    aint that the truth

  3. #43
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
    OK - here is a question for the guys. I danced with a guy last night after the int class who was clearly quite nervous. He got jumbled up in the moves we'd just learned so I said 'lead anything'. I smiled a lot, I threw in a few wiggles and I think by the end of the dance he was a bit more relaxed.

    Should I start asking him to dance every so often in the hope that he gets more relaxed dancing with me?
    Lynn you are one of the names on the dance circuit who I must dance with everytime I see you, normally only on weekenders.

    You are a magical, cheeky dancer. If anyone can help this guy you can baby.

    If I could bottle what you have and sell it I would make a fortune.

    Stretch him baby, stretch him you could produce another dance God. We do need more of them, one day he might even dance with me, if I am lucky.

    DTS XXX XXX

  4. #44
    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Thanks guys, I just want him to be relaxed and enjoy dancing with me instead of worrying about getting things wrong. I reckoned if I showed him that I enjoyed dancing with him, ie by asking him, that would help him relax. I think we have only ever danced a couple of times before.

  5. #45
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Fletch our dances are are a mystery. I come on the floor and we just dance to the music being played. I have my 8 moves and a load of cheeky stuff which I make up on the spot sometimes.

    I dont think we have ever had a bad dance, but early on I was nervous as a kitten whilst dancing with you.

    Marko only a select few do you get a great connection with. Only a select few.

    When you find it knock the sh1t out of it mate, because magic happens, no one else is in the room you and your partner and the music is everything in your life at that moment.

    The Trinity as CJ, God bless him, calls it.

    I get this, and I call it the zone, normally for about 2 hours in Southport, always in the Blues room to CJ music.

    I never leave the floor when this happens, sometimes I am afraid to breathe in case it goes.

    It is spiritual mate, mystical when you get it nothing else matters, I have cried at the end of a dance before, it is so moving. It is better than any sex or drugs on the market.

    Oh bit of a rant, but you who have had it knows what I am on about.

    And moves do not come into it at all.

    It is ALL connection and fun, there are no wrong moves in dancing, just unusual variations

    DTS XXX XXX

  6. #46
    Basically lazy robd's Avatar
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    It is better than any sex ... on the market.
    Is that where you are getting it from now? Have a five knuckle shuffle Dave and avoid the credit crunch.

    - because it's the daftest icon yet

    But I like this one -

  7. #47
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
    OK - here is a question for the guys. I danced with a guy last night after the int class who was clearly quite nervous. He got jumbled up in the moves we'd just learned so I said 'lead anything'. I smiled a lot, I threw in a few wiggles and I think by the end of the dance he was a bit more relaxed.

    Should I start asking him to dance every so often in the hope that he gets more relaxed dancing with me?

    Absolutely!

    As I said earlier in ths thread, starting dancing has been hard on many levels. one being the social aspect. I have never done the social/clubbing/dating thing and whilst I am not exactly a retiring wallflower I did find the whole 'would you like to dance' thing a challenge.

    Add to that the obvious signs that ladies flock around the good dancers (good for whatever reason the lady sees fit...) and as a newbie that doesnt happen.

    Add that to the understandable 'tribal' element of any local event (those who know each other stick together etc) and what yoy have is a situation where however much fun you are having, getting into the scene takes time and confidence. From my experience there is no better boost than to have a lady come up and ask you to dance and then be patient through your mistakes. If that same lady should ask again sometime that is even better!

    Trust me, if the guy has even a modicum of consideration for his dance partner your investment will be rewarded. I hope I get the chance to dance with you sometime!

  8. #48
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Quote Originally Posted by robd View Post
    Is that where you are getting it from now? Have a five knuckle shuffle Dave and avoid the credit crunch.

    - because it's the daftest icon yet

    But I like this one -
    You still owe me a couple of dances matey.

    Dont think I have forgotten because I have not.

    Warm the engines, arm the weapon systems because we are going in all guns ablazing.

    Who wants to live forever. not me boys , not me.

    DTS XXX XX

  9. #49
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Marko next dance that we are at together grab me for a dance. I can follow nearly as good as I can led.

    DTS XXX XX

  10. #50
    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Thanks marko, its good to hear the perspective from a less experienced lead - I can remember what it was like when I was starting as a follow but its good to be able to understand what its like for the guys.

    Quote Originally Posted by marko View Post
    From my experience there is no better boost than to have a lady come up and ask you to dance and then be patient through your mistakes. If that same lady should ask again sometime that is even better!
    I think because I'm one of the more experienced and playful dancers locally some of the men think they need to have lots of moves for me to enjoy a dance with them. If I ask them a few times that might make them realise that even if they only lead some basic moves we can still have fun.

    Quote Originally Posted by marko View Post
    I hope I get the chance to dance with you sometime!
    Likewise.
    Last edited by Lynn; 21st-August-2008 at 03:16 PM.

  11. #51
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Quote Originally Posted by marko View Post
    However, after reading loads of posts on here and listening to various discussions/conversations by ladies it would seem that PERHAPS the ladies are secretly not as happy about the 'always say yes' mandate as Ceroc would have us believe. References to 'plebs', 'numpty' and other interesting descriptions of 'less-able' dancers.
    Shakespeare used the work "numpty" in his play "King Lear", spoken by the Fool.

  12. #52
    B.O.G.O.F. fletch's Avatar
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    Fletch our dances are are a mystery. I come on the floor and we just dance to the music being played. I have my 8 moves and a load of cheeky stuff which I make up on the spot sometimes.

    I dont think we have ever had a bad dance, but early on I was nervous as a kitten whilst dancing with you.





    normally for about 2 hours in Southport,





    XX
    I know you were (first time i'v used this smiley)

    how times have changed

    I think that all changed one Southpot in the main room late on many moons ago

  13. #53
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Times have indeed changed in my dancing.

    I was rough as a Badgers ar*e.

    Now I try to be liquid chocolate.

    We all know who smoothed me out and made me a dancer.

    I am not being all wishy washy and sh1t here, but we know who turned me.

    Fletch I do remember that dance one of my memorable dances that will not be forgotten.

    DTS XXX XXX
    Last edited by dave the scaffolder; 21st-August-2008 at 08:35 PM.

  14. #54
    Cheeky by nature Little Monkey's Avatar
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Quote Originally Posted by marko View Post
    Interesting comment Chef. Loads of ladies do this and I was beginning to think it was a requirement to give some indication that you are staying in the groove or leading with rhythm etc. I will stop immediately

    Thanks for the comments so far. Just like to say that I am not paranoid (even if they are out to get me ), I just want to make the dancing as much fun for any partner I dance with as it is for me.
    Been away from the forum for a week, and haven't had time to read this whole thread, but thought I'd comment on this post, particularly the bit I've taken the liberty to highlight.

    Congratulations, Marko! If this is your attitude to dancing, you're on to a good thing. Wanting to make the dance the best possible experience for your partner, and wanting to have fun on the dance floor, is exactly what's important IMHO. And also asking for advice and actually listening to advice given by more experienced dancers (like with the hand bouncing) is a huge plus!

    I've danced MJ for about 8 years on and off (don't go to class nights any more, only freestyles and weekenders), and although I do in fact turn people down from time to time (see numerous other threads, like the "yes" ethos), I still dance with beginners and new intermediates. Like I've tried to say to new guys on numerous occasions: It's not about how many moves you know, but about how you actually lead the moves you do know, and try to make it a pleasant dance for both your partner and yourself. Dancing is meant to be fun! If you try to be a considerate dance partner, both to the person you're dancing with and to the other dancers on the floor, I can't see why people shouldn't want to dance with you, even if you're a relatively new dancer.

    Have fun!

    LM

  15. #55
    Registered User Beowulf's Avatar
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Not known for my sage dance advice I can offer naught but this

    Be selective to whom you listen to. When someone complains or moans without good reason then ignore them but when someone heaps praise on you accept it graciously and take it to heart.

    Alas I still tend to get those two the wrong way round.

    and one last thing.. you may find the worst critic on the dancefloor ... ... ... ... ... ...is yourself.

  16. #56
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Hi All
    Not been on the forum for a week or so. Feels like ages!
    Just wanted to say thanks for all the positive and constructive comments. It is great to get feedback from other dancers and understand how it feels for you too. In some ways Ceroc is 'too polite' ("Would you like to dance", "Yes of course", "Thank you very much that was nice...".)
    Thanks to DTS and Fletch for the rep comment and the lovely ladies for their views on what works for them. I have to say that the feedback from this post has taught me one big thing. Even if you are struggling a bit it is better to smile and laugh about it than get tense and huffy. Good advice which I have taken and used and sure enough, even when I crash and burn it still feels like fun (well kind of)
    Mandy and I are driving (473 miles!!!) up to Francks Blues workshop in Dundee next weekend so looking forward to that and learning to do a bit of 'treacle' dancing .
    Not going out anywhere this weekend as we are packing to move house . We will be cerocing around the boxes!
    Wherever you are going, have a good one.
    Peace
    Mark

  17. #57
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    Re: What do you ladies REALLY think?

    Quote Originally Posted by marko View Post
    Mandy and I are driving (473 miles!!!) up to Francks Blues workshop in Dundee next weekend so looking forward to that and learning to do a bit of 'treacle' dancing .
    We'll see you there then

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