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Thread: The worst film I ever saw....

  1. #21
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    Originally posted by Dreadful Scathe
    and yeah Tremors was very funny indeed - Kevin Bacon is ace
    Hell yeah;, and he can dance

  2. #22
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    You'll regret getting me started on this, here's a small selection:-

    Against All Odds - 1984 Jeff Bridges in one of his worst

    Attack of the 50ft Woman - - 1993, Reminder, if you read 2 reviews for the same film, believe the bad one. This attemps B movie status and fails completely.

    The Doctor & The Devils - 1985, Plenty of big names, Timothy Dalton, Twiggy, Jonathan Pryce, Beryl Reid, Patrick Stewart, and Mel Brooks producing. They'd probably all like to keep quiet about this dire film, awful acting and stereotypical script, about the quest for cadavers for anatomical research.

    Thank God Its Friday - 1978, Daft 70's disco film, no music or dance to speak of. Not spoof or awful enough to really be funny, just a waste of time.


    Then there is the death of the Carry On series - what a way to go:-
    Carry On Emmanuelle - 1978, So dreadful this heralded the end of the Carry Ons (until the 92 resurrection). I couldn't keep awake through this tripe.

    Carry On Columbus - 1992, Plenty of people are ashamed of this one, though essentially following the same formula of previous films, this falls totally flat. An empty plot, but it could have been saved by the gags, even the stars fail completely, demonstrating how to get comic timing completely wrong. The last nail in the Carry On coffin.

    Dancers - 1987, Starring Mikhail Baryshnikov in this drama around ballet, a dreadful story badly acted, and not saved by the dance, which is patchy and unoriginal.

    The Devil's Own - 1997. Harrison Ford plays a New York cop on the beat. He gives a home to an Irish guy (Brad Pitt), not knowing his history or the fact that he is an IRA terrorist. A tedious an unrealistic film. A real shame as Ford is one of my heroes, especially after I was mistaken for him once

    Distant Voices, Still Lives. This film demonstrates how quickly "innovation" becomes thoroughly tedious. Scouse family life flash backs, forwards, & sing songs. The critics highly rated this

    Girl On A Motorcycle - 1968 Marianne Faithfull looking very youthful rides her m/c, lots of shots of this. Maybe this was erotic at the time, but how many women really get orgasmic over their Nortons? (Time for another poll?) Nowadays it looks like pretentious tripe, using naff special effects to try & cover its inadequacies.

    Indecent Proposal. Robert Redford offers Demi Moore a million to spend the night. This is slow, crap, a film with high morals, but just too daft and boring.

    And of course anything that needs "Erotic" in the blurb to try and sell it.

    Greg

  3. #23
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    Originally posted by Boomer
    But can these can classed as the worst films ever? By 'these' I mean the type of film that doesn't take itself seriously from the get-go. Their appeal, and the likes of Tremours and that Spider film from last year (forget its name) is in the fact that they're bumf from the very start, and everybody knows this
    Continuing this idea should we include ones that are so bad that they're good? eg Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town on TV last night was fab (or anything by Troma), or the outrageous Bride of Chucky or the recent cinema one House of a Thousand Corpses by Rob Zombie which was hilarious in a gratuitous sort of way.

    Ones that I wanted to throw tomatoes at the screen included the abominable Star Wars II Attack of the Clones, the sand dunes saga English Patient, and the utterly predictable Sliding Doors (with Miss Paltrow at her most irritating), but they hardly measure up to Chopper Chicks, which is unashamedly a badly made film that is still enjoyable.

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    "Meet the Feebles" - same director as "The Lord Of The Rings" trilogy.
    Sort of an adult "muppets" but so awful I had to force myself to keep watching it just so that I had a new "low" to compare other films against. And I haven't seen a worse film in ten years since.

  5. #25
    Registered User Graham W's Avatar
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    Chopper Chicks was completely unwatchable !!

    Titanics just been voted worst film ever on Film 2003, steve..

  6. #26
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    Originally posted by Graham W
    Chopper Chicks was completely unwatchable !!
    Er .... does anyone have that on video? Gotta see what you guys are on about.

    LilyB

  7. #27
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    Originally posted by LilyB
    Er .... does anyone have that on video? Gotta see what you guys are on about.
    LilyB
    Of course - I had to tape it in case it was unwatchable!



    But it is the version where one disembodied head is re-used for several head-choppings, and of course there's a question over whether they really used meat on the end of that piece of string to lure the zombies (in case you were expecting something more 'tasteful').

    There's a touching moment where Booge says, 'Gee, dad, maybe if you don't eat people, nobody will notice you're a zombie' and most of the acting is reliably bad (although Billy Bob Thornton and Catherine Carlen occasionally forget, and almost do proper acting.)

    This is not a movie you want to watch. If you do, you don't want to watch it again - or a third time.

    And most of the best gore is kept to the last bit - a Chopper Chick catching one of the zombies in the nuts with a chainsaw is particularly memorable.

    Politically incorrect (apart from the women/lesbian empowerment thing), and the stance on dwarfs and blind people depends how you take it. But not as much nakedness as most of Troma's films, just lots of X-rated one-liners and torn off limbs (And Cannibal! The Musical has a much better dance sequence). Definitely unwatchable. I'm sure I could be arrested if I sent it to you.
    Last edited by Chris; 5th-November-2003 at 03:31 AM.

  8. #28
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    Originally posted by Chris
    ....Chopper Chicks in Zombie Town on TV last night ...
    Yeh - Chopper Chicks!! I watched that, and was so mesmerised, I couldn't turn it off. It was funny - yes, really appallingly bad, but funny! Of course, Marc particulary liked the psuedo-sexual girlie-fights ...

    Have to agree with Greg - Girl on a Motorbike has got to be one of the worst films ever (even though I'm a big Marianne Faithful fan). Actually, I don't think I've ever danced to any song of hers - I'm sure something like The Ballard of Lucie Jordan would be great, wouldn't it? Would it???

    Oh and Ghost - awful film!
    Rachel

  9. #29
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    Oh, I'm getting excited now - how about dancing to Broken English? That would be just sooo good! Tramp - go on, I dare you, play it at Camber. Late Sunday night downstairs. Please???????
    R. xxx

  10. #30
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    Originally posted by Rachel
    Girl on a Motorbike has got to be one of the worst films ever (even though I'm a big Marianne Faithful fan).
    Her character was a bit of a wimp compared to the Chopper Chicks eh?


    I thought MF looked good in the outfit though - the clothes were more interesting than the characters

  11. #31
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    The Lawnmower Man absolute tripe !

  12. #32
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    Originally posted by Pammy
    The Lawnmower Man absolute tripe !
    Tripe yes, worst film no, only 'cos in its day the special effects were impressive.

    Greg

  13. #33
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    quadruple yes on lawnmower man. arggghhhh so awful!!!

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