I man cave ie I just shut myself in my flat and battle my inner demons until either the dark or the light is victorious, light has always won so far.
If dark wins its good night Vienna. Anyway works for me.
DTS XXX XXX
For various reasons had a fair amount of time to ponder how people cope with stress. I remember covering the subject in some detail during my studies, from a physiological and psychological perspective. But that was from the outside looking in. Its a very different tale when you are the one feeling stressed.
Over the last couple of months I've had to deal, indirectly or directly, with a number of friends/colleagues undergoing serious amounts of stress, in one case ending in a nervous breakdown. Not nice. I KNOW a lot of techniques for dealing with stress, but I think that the things that work tend to be very personal to the individual, not always common approaches.
Aside from trying (and often failing) to get to the gym or just get home on time, I'm back to an old favourite, blasting baddies in Battlefield 2 So ... how do you cope?
I man cave ie I just shut myself in my flat and battle my inner demons until either the dark or the light is victorious, light has always won so far.
If dark wins its good night Vienna. Anyway works for me.
DTS XXX XXX
I take my dog for a looooooong walk, letting the confused thoughts in my head crash around until they sort of untangle themselves, or at least I get so tired I don't have the energy to be angry or stressed anymore.
Another good technique that works for me, is to go through the shelves in my studio and smash all the pieces that have gone wrong, and that I for some reason haven't chucked out.
Another good way of calming down is to just sit and cuddle my dog. Cuddles are good. But just don't let me near people when I'm stressed, I'm more than likely to bite their heads off....
Cooking helps me. if i do nothing i sit and brood about it but something like cooking takes my mind off things a bit. Dancing helps and martial arts used to be really effective. A good rant/ cry also has me feeling fine again. And lots and lots of cuddles
I usually just sit on my own and cry uncontrollably when it all gets too much.
Failing that I call someone I know will listen and just have a good old rant, it doesn't solve anything but sometimes saying things out loud just puts them in order.
And then I go and have a good cry...
So true and talking is a therapy in itself. Can't do the link thing but you can google 'talking therapies' .
One of the things I do when I become overloaded with work is to make a list and prioritise what can't wait and what can. A certain level of stress is useful and healthy. It becomes a problem when it becomes overwhelming and beyond a person's coping skills.
Try a little Cognitive behavioural therapy on yourself when the thinking processes become a little skewed, for example look at how you think about the thing that's getting you down,and how that makes you feel and in turn how that affects your behaviour. A good book is Mind Over Mood by Padesky and Greenberger.
Exercise is good as it helps to release endorphins into your blood stream which make you feel happier overall and more positive. Dancing and other forms of exercise are brilliant for me, and when I dance I do forget all the pressures of the day.
Pamper yourself and make 'me time', its a different kind of being selfish in that you are rebuilding your self esteem and confidence in yourself, which will in turn benefit others. Do others feel guilty when they try to have a few minutes to themselves, I think I am managing that a bit better now.
if you love the life you live then you'll get a lot more done
I would normally go on holiday. Think it through and come back with a plan.
When that is not possible, phone up a good friend, let it all out. Even though I can normally see for myself why I am stressed, just talking it through with a good mate helps.
Go dancing?
I'm not sure you'll like my way...
My job means I go through a roller coaster of emotions so it will depend on what has stressed me out as to what will help calm me down, Dancing works well, as does a good session in the gym! Or alternatively I just put on my favourite chilled tunes and lay out in my room as still as possible!
Really sorry to hear that Gus.
I don't...
Gus, all you can do is be a friend. Listen to them if they want to talk, hug them if they look like they need a hug, let them know you care. In my own experience, there's really not a lot that one person can do to help. It comes down to the individual. But having friends around you does help. Sometimes though, people push other people away and don't/can't let them in. They just need to know that you care about them, and you're there if/when they want you.
Distraction is good... let your mind think about something else for a while i.e. play a coumputer game or read a book etc.
Exercise is good... even just a nice walk somehwere that is refreshing i.e. a beach, or countryside etc. I have a 2 year old rottweiler and taking him for walks used to help me a lot. Getting cuddles from him helps too
Having some time to yourself, some peace and quiet, nothing and no-one to bother you.
If there's problems with anger... buy a punchbag, or punch your pillow on your bed, do that for a while and you'll have no energy, but you will got a lot of your anger out in a safe way. And trust me, pillows are a lot softer than walls
I used to play a lot of sports, football mainly. It was a great way of coping if I was ever stressed (assuming it was just for fun, not an important game to win the league or anything!). I had my friends around me, and I had to focus on what I was doing, and it was something I was good at.
It really all comes down to what is stressing you out. Is there something that can be done about it, and how? Or if there is nothing that can be done about it, you need to learn how to deal with that in a safe and helpful way. You need to treat the cause, not just the symptoms... as I was once told.
I hope your friends get better soon Gus
Since I started in my current job in 1996, a lot of transition has taken place. Prior to this, I was very, very stressed with dealing with rude female employees and people who had a habit of rubbing me up the wrong way. I then took Assertiveness and Positive image courses, which were the first thing I did. I also took classes in Drama which helped to make me communicate better.
Dancing continues to help me realise that there is a whole new world away from stressful situations. I have mentioned this in previous posts, but simply having a lady come up to me to ask if I could be my partner in my very first Ceroc class in a club situation where women didn't give me the time of day still sticks in my mind today (again, who and wherever she is - thank you so much for boosting my initial confidence and self-esteem!) and was the start-off point for relieving me of stress.
Going on the Ceroc Holiday to Barcelona in 2003 was the next phase and Jive Addiction stemmed from that, where I have met some lovely ladies who are so welcoming whenever we meet on the circuit. Stress is no longer such a problem for me.
best
johnnyman
I do actually have dark periods in my life and the only way I can deal with them is by myself, on my own in my flat battling internally with myself. One day the dark will win and its cheerio from him.
We all have bad times when we must rally to the cause and dig deep inside ourselves to find ourselves again.
Dancing is a marvellous cure for all ills I find.
DTS XXX XX
I used to find that running was a great stress reliever.
However now I'd have to say dancing or pottering around in the garden.
I Just take a deep breath and as I breath out I count backwards from 10 - 1. Then I think to myself.. is there really any point getting stressed about something? Does it really solve the situation, does it make things any better?? no, it doesn't. So why stress out? think about ways of resolving the problem you have, but calmly, and you manage to think straighter and make better decisions. If you're in a panic frenzy, the more negative thoughts you'll have and you make the situation seem much more worse than it actually is.
When my grandad died last year.. although I miss him to bits.. my family always asked me how do I do it? how do i not appear as emotional or as stressed out as them after a few months? Answer is: I thought to myself - would my grandad really want to see me like this.. living the rest of my life in sorrow? no, he wouldn't. I imagined what he'd have said to me if I could see him one last time. He'd have said, 'stop being silly, live your life and be happy.' Since then I've been able to get on with it, and feel he's with me all the time, watching over me. It's comforting for me, although when I go and visit him I still feel tearful sometimes.
to you both!
Dancing is my major stress relief.. I also have had a lot to deal with in the last 2 years or so.. Lost my dad, amongst other things and dancing has been the only saviour for me. If i can't get to dance then I will put some music on (usually some bluesy chill out tunes) and destress that way.
I read scary books whilst listening to dance music (unless I'm dancing of course!)
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