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Thread: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

  1. #81
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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    ….Isn’t being bisexual a little greedy…?

    My totally biased personal opinion, for what it's worth:

    In my experience, there are two sorts of gay men – those who do like women, and those who can’t stand them. The anti-women ones don’t make friends with women and just avoid them at all costs, but fortunately this type seem to be much rarer.



    The ones who like women are attractive to women for a number of reasons:
    - If a gay man friend wants to be your friend it’s because he wants to be your friend. He’s not scoring your potential in bed, and he’s not trying to impress you. So you have a better chance of getting to know the real person.
    - If he’s flirty, it’s just for fun, it’s perfectly safe, and you both know it.
    - If he’s in touch with his feminine side, you have lots in common...Sweeping generalisation, but if he combines female-style interest in relationships, personalities and socialising with a male lack of how to deal appropriately with it in the social arena (e.g. when to keep his mouth shut and not hurt people’s feelings) then you can get a bitch!
    - Gay men seem to think about appearances quite a lot, and have generally thought about how to maximise their attractiveness. So they are normally clean, fit and well-groomed, usually much more so than straight men. Some of the gay friends I have known have been fairly promiscuous, so maybe they feel they need to look gorgeous at all times just in case.
    - Another sweeping generalisation – gay men often have very nice pert bums! Now this could be because of certain exercise they take (!) or maybe they just pay more attention to the fit of their clothes…
    I couldn’t care tuppence if someone is gay or straight – if I personally don’t want to sleep with someone myself then why should I care who they want to sleep with? I’ve had some very good gay friends over the years, though I can’t say I’ve ever fancied them…well, ok, maybe one of them a long time ago, and he was just hot, but I didn't know he was gay then, so maybe that doesn’t count!

    Oh yes, and one of my gay friends tells me that gay men generally don’t like lesbians. This seems really odd to me, because I would have thought they’d have common ground somewhere, but apparently not. Maybe this is because lesbians would not under any circumstances fancy gay men…?

  2. #82
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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by Moondancer View Post
    ….Isn’t being bisexual a little greedy…?
    Greedy? I don't understand what you mean by that?
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  3. #83
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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    Greedy? I don't understand what you mean by that?
    Instead of restricting yourself to theoretically finding a mere half of the human race attractive....

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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by Moondancer View Post
    Instead of restricting yourself to theoretically finding a mere half of the human race attractive....
    Why place a restriction upon yourself? And who on earth finds the entirety of the opposite sex attractive anyway? Wouldn't touch the vast majority of them with a bargepole!

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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by frodo View Post
    It might be considered that gay or straight is what you are, whereas bi-sexual is a lifestyle choice.
    There is a theory that sexuality is a continuum with totally heterosexual at one end and totally homosexual at one end, while most people are somewhere in between. If that's right then bisexuality is no more a choice than homo- or heterosexuality.

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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    I think that you'll find that Freud thought we were all bisexual, and it's those who stick themselves in the gay/straight boxes who are deluding themselves
    Quote Originally Posted by Baruch View Post
    There is a theory that sexuality is a continuum with totally heterosexual at one end and totally homosexual at one end, while most people are somewhere in between. If that's right then bisexuality is no more a choice than homo- or heterosexuality.
    Clearly there are such theories. But Freud didn't have brain scanners.

    I remember a study that was in the papers a while ago, using brain scanners to check responses to gay and straight stimuli for people who identified themselves as gay or straight or bi.

    The people who identified themselves as gay or straight people responded charateristically. But people who identified themselves as bi either responded as characteristically gay or characteristically straight, not in between.

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    Why place a restriction upon yourself?
    Good question as an individual.

    But it does sound rather like a lifestyle choice, which wider society may have good (and/or not so good) reasons not to like.

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    Registered User Baruch's Avatar
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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by frodo View Post
    I remember a study that was in the papers a while ago, using brain scanners to check responses to gay and straight stimuli for people who identified themselves as gay or straight or bi.
    An interesting point that became evident in The Making of Me with John Barrowman was that there are a number of tests for homosexuality, and he (a gay man) conformed to some of them but, interestingly, didn't conform to others. Which, to me, suggests that there is no one single test that can determine beyond doubt what someone's sexual orientation is, other than their own experience. If someone says they are sexually attracted to people of both sexes, why doubt that?

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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    I just think that bi-sexual people are "lucky" - they get more people to choose from!.. (aka a double-adapter)

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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by frodo View Post
    But it does sound rather like a lifestyle choice,
    Hmm I'm finding this argument hard to get my head around.

    I can't imagine a totally straight guy/girl, wanting to make a 'lifestyle choice' to have sex with someone they clearly didn't 'really' fancy

    Surely, they must have some gay/bi tendency's to even think about it?

    EDIT - to add - I think it would be more likely for a Bi person to make a lifestyle choice to stick to being with someone of the opposite sex.
    Last edited by Lory; 29th-July-2008 at 09:33 AM.
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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    Hmm I'm finding this argument hard to get my head around.

    I can't imagine a totally straight guy/girl, wanting to make a 'lifestyle choice' to have sex with someone they clearly didn't 'really' fancy

    Surely, they must have some gay/bi tendency's to even think about it?

    EDIT - to add - I think it would be more likely for a Bi person to make a lifestyle choice to stick to being with someone of the opposite sex.
    Totally agree. A female bi-sexual friend of mine had quite a tussel with this one. Although she wasn't promiscious, she did feel a certain regret that she was going to exclude one type of sexual experience from her life by settling with one person. For a while she did this with a woman, but it didn't work out. Then she settled with a man and seems to have come to terms with it as they've been together for about 10 years now.

    Another friend, this time male, doesn't seem able to settle with anyone - although he's primarily gay, he does have sexual relationships with women from time to time. But then he won't settle with any one person anyway, although he does seem to have long-term polyamorous relationships.

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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post


    Another friend, this time male, doesn't seem able to settle with anyone - although he's primarily gay, he does have sexual relationships with women from time to time. But then he won't settle with any one person anyway, although he does seem to have long-term polyamorous relationships.
    Are you saying he has sex with Parrots?

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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by ~*~Saligal~*~ View Post
    I just think that bi-sexual people are "lucky" - they get more people to choose from!.. (aka a double-adapter)
    It would appear to be 'lucky' at first but then, what happens if you fall in love with someone and want to remain monogamous, this would mean forever denying the 'other' side of you

    The man or woman in your life (whatever you choose) will never be able to give you the 'other' experience, even if they were the best lover in the world.

    I'm not quite sure if I've worded the above in the best way possible
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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    It would appear to be 'lucky' at first but then, what happens if you fall in love with someone and want to remain monogamous, this would mean forever denying the 'other' side of you
    At uni one year I shared a house with (among others) two girls who were both bisexual - we're still in touch and one is married and another engaged, both to guys. They're both very happy with their chosen partners and I know neither of them would want to cheat with a girl just to satisfy their 'other side'. I don't think there's any duality involved, unless the person would be prone to cheating anyway...

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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    It would appear to be 'lucky' at first but then, what happens if you fall in love with someone and want to remain monogamous, this would mean forever denying the 'other' side of you

    The man or woman in your life (whatever you choose) will never be able to give you the 'other' experience, even if they were the best lover in the world.
    I'm bi – I like both blondes and brunettes!

    Unfortunately I have to deny myself the "other" (blonde) experience, as I've found myself a lovely brunette.

    Maybe I can get her to wear a wig sometimes.
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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by CheesyRobMan View Post
    one is married and another engaged, both to guys. They're both very happy with their chosen partners and I know neither of them would want to cheat with a girl just to satisfy their 'other side'. I don't think there's any duality involved, unless the person would be prone to cheating anyway...
    Yeah, I suppose it'd be the same if you married a guy who happened to have a very small willy... no matter how good he was, he could never give you the experience of someone with a huge one
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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    Yeah, I suppose it'd be the same if you married a guy who happened to have a very small willy... no matter how good he was, he could never give you the experience of someone with a huge one
    Thats it I am reporting you for naming and shaming me.

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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    I just stumbled across this thread again and laughed out loud at its abrupt end!
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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    I just found this thread and can I say one dance with THE TIGER (PANTS!) and any red-blooded female will tell you why...in fact breathe the same air (even from a distance I.E from London to Dundee.. and nothing will ever be the same...I have been in a padded cell since I last had the pleasure from the slinky hipped one!!
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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    I think after this many posts we'd pretty much covered the long and the short of it (I leave no double entendre unturned)

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    Re: Why are gay men so attractive (to women)?

    We certinally seemed to have banged the sh1t out of everything here pips.

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