….Isn’t being bisexual a little greedy…?
My totally biased personal opinion, for what it's worth:
In my experience, there are two sorts of gay men – those who do like women, and those who can’t stand them. The anti-women ones don’t make friends with women and just avoid them at all costs, but fortunately this type seem to be much rarer.
The ones who like women are attractive to women for a number of reasons:- If a gay man friend wants to be your friend it’s because he wants to be your friend. He’s not scoring your potential in bed, and he’s not trying to impress you. So you have a better chance of getting to know the real person.- If he’s flirty, it’s just for fun, it’s perfectly safe, and you both know it.- If he’s in touch with his feminine side, you have lots in common...Sweeping generalisation, but if he combines female-style interest in relationships, personalities and socialising with a male lack of how to deal appropriately with it in the social arena (e.g. when to keep his mouth shut and not hurt people’s feelings) then you can get a bitch!- Gay men seem to think about appearances quite a lot, and have generally thought about how to maximise their attractiveness. So they are normally clean, fit and well-groomed, usually much more so than straight men. Some of the gay friends I have known have been fairly promiscuous, so maybe they feel they need to look gorgeous at all times just in case.- Another sweeping generalisation – gay men often have very nice pert bums! Now this could be because of certain exercise they take (!) or maybe they just pay more attention to the fit of their clothes…I couldn’t care tuppence if someone is gay or straight – if I personally don’t want to sleep with someone myself then why should I care who they want to sleep with? I’ve had some very good gay friends over the years, though I can’t say I’ve ever fancied them…well, ok, maybe one of them a long time ago, and he was just hot, but I didn't know he was gay then, so maybe that doesn’t count!
Oh yes, and one of my gay friends tells me that gay men generally don’t like lesbians. This seems really odd to me, because I would have thought they’d have common ground somewhere, but apparently not. Maybe this is because lesbians would not under any circumstances fancy gay men…?
Clearly there are such theories. But Freud didn't have brain scanners.
I remember a study that was in the papers a while ago, using brain scanners to check responses to gay and straight stimuli for people who identified themselves as gay or straight or bi.
The people who identified themselves as gay or straight people responded charateristically. But people who identified themselves as bi either responded as characteristically gay or characteristically straight, not in between.
Good question as an individual.
But it does sound rather like a lifestyle choice, which wider society may have good (and/or not so good) reasons not to like.
An interesting point that became evident in The Making of Me with John Barrowman was that there are a number of tests for homosexuality, and he (a gay man) conformed to some of them but, interestingly, didn't conform to others. Which, to me, suggests that there is no one single test that can determine beyond doubt what someone's sexual orientation is, other than their own experience. If someone says they are sexually attracted to people of both sexes, why doubt that?
I just think that bi-sexual people are "lucky" - they get more people to choose from!.. (aka a double-adapter)
Hmm I'm finding this argument hard to get my head around.
I can't imagine a totally straight guy/girl, wanting to make a 'lifestyle choice' to have sex with someone they clearly didn't 'really' fancy
Surely, they must have some gay/bi tendency's to even think about it?
EDIT - to add - I think it would be more likely for a Bi person to make a lifestyle choice to stick to being with someone of the opposite sex.
Last edited by Lory; 29th-July-2008 at 09:33 AM.
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"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
Totally agree. A female bi-sexual friend of mine had quite a tussel with this one. Although she wasn't promiscious, she did feel a certain regret that she was going to exclude one type of sexual experience from her life by settling with one person. For a while she did this with a woman, but it didn't work out. Then she settled with a man and seems to have come to terms with it as they've been together for about 10 years now.
Another friend, this time male, doesn't seem able to settle with anyone - although he's primarily gay, he does have sexual relationships with women from time to time. But then he won't settle with any one person anyway, although he does seem to have long-term polyamorous relationships.
It would appear to be 'lucky' at first but then, what happens if you fall in love with someone and want to remain monogamous, this would mean forever denying the 'other' side of you
The man or woman in your life (whatever you choose) will never be able to give you the 'other' experience, even if they were the best lover in the world.
I'm not quite sure if I've worded the above in the best way possible
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"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
At uni one year I shared a house with (among others) two girls who were both bisexual - we're still in touch and one is married and another engaged, both to guys. They're both very happy with their chosen partners and I know neither of them would want to cheat with a girl just to satisfy their 'other side'. I don't think there's any duality involved, unless the person would be prone to cheating anyway...
Let your mind go and your body will follow. – Steve Martin, LA Story
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"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
I just stumbled across this thread again and laughed out loud at its abrupt end!
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"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
I just found this thread and can I say one dance with THE TIGER (PANTS!) and any red-blooded female will tell you why...in fact breathe the same air (even from a distance I.E from London to Dundee.. and nothing will ever be the same...I have been in a padded cell since I last had the pleasure from the slinky hipped one!!
THE ABILITY TO QUOTE IS A SERVICEABLE SUBSTITUTE FOR WIT!
I think after this many posts we'd pretty much covered the long and the short of it (I leave no double entendre unturned)
We certinally seemed to have banged the sh1t out of everything here pips.
DTS XXX XXX
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