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Thread: 50 ways to leave your lover

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    50 ways to leave your lover

    The Independent has an article on a play '50 Ways to leave your lover' which is based on real life stories from people.

    The ex factor: '50 Ways to Leave Your Lover' - Features, Theatre - The Independent

    A couple of the stories made me laugh:

    * "I don't know the details that led to the break-up but there must have been some serious animosity, as when the time came the guy in question took a trip to one of those 'build-your-own-teddy-bear' emporia and set about making a cuddly toy of his own. When he came to the voice box section he chose to record his own message. The end result was a cuddly bear who, when pressed in the stomach, recited 'You're dumped, I want my CDs back'."

    And.........

    * "I once dumped a guy who then got very upset. He came round a couple of days later and was crying his heart out as he told me he had gone down to the bottom of the garden to hang himself, but his dad had gone and chopped the tree down. I had to leave the room as tears of laughter were streaming down my face. PS: he is still alive and well and happy with a family."

    Do you have any stories like these?


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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by JiveLad View Post

    Do you have any stories like these?

    I liked this one

    -------------
    My favourite ever way I got 'left' (so bad, even I had to laugh at the time): my boyfriend of around six months at university rang me (he lived all of 600 yards away) and said, 'I have been looking around campus and I don't think I can be faithful to you anymore.'
    ----------------

    My stories are private

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by stewart38 View Post
    My stories are private
    Like you've been dumped Stewart

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    I dumped a bloke once for putting the cups in the cupboard the wrong way round.

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    I dumped a bloke once for putting the cups in the cupboard the wrong way round.
    Is that like a - code? Like, for some kinky sex act or whatever?

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by Barry Shnikov View Post
    Is that like a - code? Like, for some kinky sex act or whatever?
    No, I'm just very careful with the crockery.

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by Gav View Post
    No, I'm just very careful with the crockery.
    Ya see, that sounds like more of the same code...

    "Cor, look at the mixing bowls on that..."

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by Barry Shnikov View Post
    Ya see, that sounds like more of the same code...

    "Cor, look at the mixing bowls on that..."
    I think you need to get some professional help.

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by Barry Shnikov View Post
    Ya see, that sounds like more of the same code...

    "Cor, look at the mixing bowls on that..."
    Or..........."look at...D cups....."

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by Gav View Post
    I think you need to get some professional help.
    Indubitably.

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    the cups in the cupboard the wrong way round.
    Quote Originally Posted by Barry Shnikov View Post
    Is that like a - code? Like, for some kinky sex act or whatever?
    Quote Originally Posted by Gav View Post
    I'm just very careful with the crockery.
    Quote Originally Posted by Barry Shnikov View Post
    Ya see, that sounds like more of the same code...

    "Cor, look at the mixing bowls on that..."
    Quote Originally Posted by JiveLad View Post
    Or..........."look at...D cups....."
    It's like a fekking 'Carry On' film around here

    OOOoooohhhhhh, Matron...!

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by Astro View Post
    Like you've been dumped Stewart
    Is there a correct way to ‘dump’ someone ?

    I mean a nice meal and then face to face your dumped or a quick text before they go into the wedding shop ??

    Most of us have had our hearts broken but mended by someone else
    Last edited by stewart38; 18th-July-2008 at 05:19 PM.

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Sadly this story is true

    I friend was told by her boyfriend, who was living with her at the time

    Sorry I am away this weekend, I am getting married

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by philsmove View Post
    Sadly this story is true

    I friend was told by her boyfriend, who was living with her at the time.

    Sorry I am away this weekend, I am getting married.
    THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    It works the other way too. An ex-boss of mine was told by his girlfriend "That was the last time, I am getting married tomorrow."

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    I dumped a bloke once for putting the cups in the cupboard the wrong way round.
    well, i want to know what the "right way" is ; handles toward mecca? what ?

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Worst one I had was being called round to my gf's house (age 15 at the time) to be shown a blackboard in her garden on which she had written all the reasons why she was dumping me, except all written in the 3rd person - eg 'she/he' instead of 'you/me' - I was taken into the garden and left to read it!

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by CheesyRobMan View Post
    Worst one I had was being called round to my gf's house (age 15 at the time) to be shown a blackboard in her garden on which she had written all the reasons why she was dumping me, except all written in the 3rd person - eg 'she/he' instead of 'you/me' - I was taken into the garden and left to read it!
    Did she grow up to be a Headmistress?

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    well, i want to know what the "right way" is ; handles toward mecca? what ?

    I can't stand cups being upside down in a cupboard. Why? Because it bothers me...get over it.

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    Re: 50 ways to leave your lover

    My favourite one is:

    I once got dumped by someone after she'd been off to something called 'Spring Harvest' with the local Baptist Church.

    She said that she could never love anyone as much as she loved Jesus, and so there was no room for me.

    I was devastated, and couldn't listen to 'High' by the Cure for years afterwards, but I had to admit I very much doubt I could have competed with the Son of God. I don't know if they're still together or not, what with the age difference and everything.

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