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Thread: The Adventure Game

  1. #1
    Papa Smurf
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    The Adventure Game

    Davey Jones Diary Thread was very funny, and popular. So a thought I'd start a thread along the same lines but in a Text Adventure Game style. A little bit geeky perhaps, but most of you will manage. One caveat, not too long and you must end with "GAME OVER. Try again?"

    So me first. My premise is : David Bailey at work. (yours can be anything you like from Woman working till at Tescos to Venue Manager at Ceroc Night)

    You are sitting at your comfy work chair. Your troll doll balances precariously on your monitor.

    You can see your Boss hovering in the distance. It is daytime and very hot.


    > Use Computer

    You use the computer. It seems to be looking for a command.

    > visit www.cerocscotland.com/forum

    Clickity Click, you type away. The page loads. Screens of nonsense flash past as you scroll.

    > read forum

    Your eyes hurt from the awfulness of it all. Your knowledge score is unaffected

    > examine keyboard

    Your keyboard is a standard QWERTY type but with a large MODERATE NOW button across the top.

    > Press moderate button

    You press the moderate button. A clever artificial intelligence macro you wrote; moves 3 threads, writes some inane comments from the INANE_COMMENTS database table into another 17 threads, posts random gibberish to a tango blog, and contacts interflora to send the usual bouquet to Franck.

    The daily cake man travels swiftly down the office with his trolley and halts near you with a most disarming smile.

    >Examine cakes

    The cake man looks shocked. He steps away from the cake trolley and stands in a warriors stance. He is now brandishing a cream puff and an eclair.

    > look

    You are at your computer moderating. The daily cake man is looking menacingly at you.

    > I

    You are carrying: A box of dried frog pills, a cake slice, some string, a golden ring with weird letters on it

    The cake man with the cream puff screams and runs at you.

    > attack man with cake slice

    Which man?

    You fall to the ground, fresh cream and melted chocolate stinging your eyes. Your co-workers laugh.

    Next time: if you touch a cake. Buy it.

    GAME OVER. You have completed 44.3% of "A Day at the Office". Try Again?

  2. #2
    Taxi Dancer Aurion's Avatar
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    And here I was expecting a discussion on Aspidistra plants and vortexes!

    Oh well here goes.......



    You are sitting at your comfy work chair. Your troll doll balances precariously on your monitor.
    You can see your Boss hovering in the distance. It is daytime and very hot.

    > Use Computer

    I do not understand...

    > Switch on computer

    I do not understand...

    > turn on computer

    I do not understand...
    Time passes...

    > look

    You are sitting at your comfy work chair. Your troll doll balances precariously on your monitor.
    You can see your Boss hovering in the distance. It is afternoon and very hot.

    > type on computer

    I do not understand...

    > dekhfwsekrfhawelkrf''a;

    I do not understand...

    > use keyboard

    You use the keyboard and images appear on the monitor. Your Boss moves North

    > look at monitor

    You are sitting at your comfy work chair. Your troll doll balances precariously on your monitor.
    It is afternoon and very hot.

    > use monitor

    You use the monitor and can see the words "Ceroc Scotland Forum"
    Your troll doll jumps down onto your desk and starts posting to several threads...

    > wait a minute, what kind of game is this????

    You wait.
    Time passes...
    It gets dark.

    > No!!! thats not what i meant..

    You head North.
    You are in a long hallway with doors to the East and West
    You see your Boss
    It gets darker.

    > speak to boss

    I do not understand...

    > talk to boss

    He does not reply.
    It is very dark.

    > south

    You can not go there.
    It is now completely dark, you are dead.

    <GAME OVER>

    I know its not quite on thread but that's how I remember these games... must have wrecked more keyboards than Daley Thompsons Decathalon..

    zxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzxzx zxzxzxzxzxzxzxz

  3. #3
    Registered User David Franklin's Avatar
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    Premise: Barry Shnikov at Home:

    You are sitting in a comfy armchair. The door rings.

    Open door.

    You open the door. Two Jehovah's Witnesses ask you if you want to hear about God.

    No.

    They leave, muttering about misfortune falling on those who spurn the Lord.
    Time passes...
    You notice it's getting cold.


    Turn up central heating.

    You turn up the radiator. There is a glugging spitting sound, and the boiler expires with a mournful groan.

    Call plumber.

    The plumber says it will cost £4500 to replace your boiler, and he can't do it for 29 weeks.
    You are getting very cold. Your fingers are turning blue.


    Look

    You are in the living room. In front of you is a fireplace.

    Inv

    You have a bible, and some matches

    Burn bible.

    You put the bible in the fireplace, and light it with the matches. It takes a while to light, but soon you have a lovely fire burning.
    You notice you are feeling a bit tired.


    Rest.

    You have a comfy snooze in your armchair, with your feet in front of the fire.
    You are woken by the smell of burning shoe leather, and a sharp pain in your feet!


    Put feet into bath.

    Hobbling on your burnt feet, you jump into the bath.
    And slip.
    And break your arm.


    (to be continued, possibly, but I'm not sure this is really working TBH...).

  4. #4
    Papa Smurf
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    DF you're maybe not quite getting it* but good try (missing the > is a major faux pas though :tsk: ).

    Aurions was turning dark yet surreal and the parser misunderstandings made it. Not that I'm here to review other peoples, just thought I'd comment


    * go here if you want a reminder...

  5. #5
    Commercial Operator Gus's Avatar
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    * go here if you want a reminder...
    you B@ST@RD!!!!! Just wasted 15 mins on the HHGTTG ... and may well now loose the rest of my life to that wonderful game. Somewhere I've got half those games ..... on a 3.5" disk

  6. #6
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    This is too geeky for me....

  7. #7
    Registered User Beowulf's Avatar
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    Caro Loft and the Temple of Mysteries

    You are in a forum of twisty little postings, all alike
    > List Exits

    N,S,E,W,NE,NW,SE,SW,Up and Down
    >Go Down

    You are in a Twisty forum of little postings, all alike
    > List Exits

    N,S,E,W,NE,NW,SE,SW,Up and Down
    > Go West

    You are in a Little forum of Twisty postings, all alike
    > List Exits

    N,S,E,W,NE,NW,SE,SW,Up and Down
    >Help

    What Do you want help with?
    >Help games

    'GAMES' REFERS TO MODELS, SIMULATIONS, AND GAMES WHICH HAVE TACTICAL, AND STRATEGIC APPLICATIONS.
    >List Games

    Forums Maze
    Blue Smurf
    Dance Hijacking
    Flame Wars
    Guerrilla West Cost Swing

    Global Forumnuclear War


    >Play Global Forumnuclear War

    Who do you think you are? Matthew Broderick?
    >This is too geeky for me!

    At the very moment that Caro said "This is too geeky for me!" a freak wormhole opened up in the fabric of the space-time continuum and carried her words far far back in time across almost infinite reaches of space to a distant Galaxy where strange and warlike beings were poised on the brink of frightful interstellar battle.

    The two opposing leaders were meeting for the last time. A dreadful silence fell across the conference table as the commander of the Ce'rokks resplendent in his black jewelled dance shoes, gazed levelly at the Lar'ock leader squatting opposite him in a pool of green sweet-smelling moisturising cream, and, with a million sleek and horribly beweaponed star cruisers poised to unleash electric death at his single word of command, challenged the vile creature to take back what it had said about his teaching methods


    >what?

    The creature stirred in his sickly broiling vapour, and at that very moment the words "This is too geeky for me!" drifted across the conference table. Unfortunately, in the Lar'ock tongue this was the most dreadful insult imaginable, and there was nothing for it but to wage terrible war for centuries on each others franchise.

    Unfortunately for you. All West Coast Swing classes were destroyed in the ensuing battle.

    You have visited 3 out of a possible 31415926 locations and scored zero points
    Game Over


    RESTART, RESTORE, EXIT?
    >Delete... I'm off dancing !!
    Last edited by Beowulf; 10th-July-2008 at 11:25 PM.

  8. #8
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf View Post
    Unfortunately for you. All West Coast Swing classes were destroyed in the ensuing battle.
    what have I done for the world to end ?!!!!!


    stupid game, I knew it...

  9. #9
    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf View Post
    At the very moment that Caro said "This is too geeky for me!" a freak wormhole opened up in the fabric of the space-time continuum and carried her words far far back in time across almost infinite reaches of space to a distant Galaxy where strange and warlike beings were poised on the brink of frightful interstellar battle.


    At least they didn't get accidentally swallowed by a small dog.

  10. #10
    Registered User Beowulf's Avatar
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Caro View Post
    what have I done for the world to end ?!!!!!
    You should have remembered to feed the small dog the cheese sandwich , hide under the towel when the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal came past and you also forgot to say XYZZY !!

    *have played loads of these games.. can you tell?

    Quote Originally Posted by Caro View Post
    stupid game, I knew it...
    there there dear.. it's not your fault that some things are simply beyond your comprehension.

    "If it's too hard I can't understand it" - Harry Hill's big brother Alan (aka Al Murray)

  11. #11
    Registered User Brighton Belle's Avatar
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf View Post
    the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
    Was that the one that the Guide mistakenly described as 'makes a delicious meal for tourists' rather than 'makes a delicious meal of tourists', resulting in rather a large number of law suits?

  12. #12
    Commercial Operator
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Brighton Belle View Post
    Was that the one that the Guide mistakenly described as 'makes a delicious meal for tourists' rather than 'makes a delicious meal of tourists', resulting in rather a large number of law suits?
    Yes - and in the ensuing trial, "the editors of the Guide hired a poet to testify under oath that beauty was truth and truth beauty, hoping to demonstrate that life itself was at fault for failing to be either beautiful or true. The judges concurred, and in a long and moving speech declared that life itself was the guilty party, and duly had it confiscated from all those there present, before heading off for an afternoon's Brochian Ultra-Golf."

    The really scary thing is that that was (while probably not definitively accurate), typed from memory. And I haven't heard it for about ten years.

    Beo - how close did I get?

  13. #13
    Registered User Poi Boi's Avatar
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    Wasn't it Brockian Ultra-Cricket?

    Gah, Now I'm going to have to re-read the whole 5 part trilogy and listen to them all again!

  14. #14
    Registered User Beowulf's Avatar
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Brighton Belle View Post
    Was that the one that the Guide mistakenly described as 'makes a delicious meal for tourists' rather than 'makes a delicious meal of tourists', resulting in rather a large number of law suits?

    Yes..that's the one .. arguably the most insanely idiotically dense creature in existence which believed that if you couldn't see it, then it couldn't see you. (hence wrapping your head in your towel!)

    of course you also had to use a stone to carve your name onto his list

    Stray... from my memory.. you are pretty close!!

  15. #15
    Registered User Beowulf's Avatar
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf View Post
    OI !! get out of here non-believer !! This is way too geeky for the likes of you.. you can't even figure out a text adventure

    >open door
    THE DOOR IS NOW OPEN

    >Leg It !
    YOU RUN AWAY FROM THE SCARY FRENCH WOMAN !
    Quote Originally Posted by Caro View Post
    you big ungeekist.

    And I thought geeks were helpful beings despite their binary disabilities.

    >slap Beo's face
    BEO'S FACE STINGS LIKE MAD AND BEO STARTS CRYING AND HE APOLOGISES FOR BEING SUCH A RUDE GEEK AND HE PROMISES NEVER TO DO IT AGAIN AND ALWAYS TO BE SUPER NICE TO CARO.

    (I'm starting to like this game)
    Tut tut tut.. you should have said.
    >Slap Beo's Face
    I SEE NO BEO HERE.

    >look
    YOU SEE AN OPEN DOOR

    >Go door
    YOU WALK THOUGH THE DOOR. YOU SEE BEO HIDING BEHIND A COPY OF DITCH DAY DRIFTER

    >Slap Beo's face
    > WHAT DO YOU SLAP BEO'S FACE WITH?

    >The Xyzzylicious slapping wand of Froboz Munbar (GUE)
    SUCH AN ITEM DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS GAME.. BUT SCORE 20 BILLION POINTS FOR YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF TEXT ADVENTURE TRIVIA.

    BEO WITHERS UNDER YOUR GEEK SHRIVELLING GAZE

    YOU WIN
    GAME OVER

    See how that works

  16. #16
    An Eclectic Toaster
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    Quote Originally Posted by Beowulf View Post
    BEO WITHERS UNDER YOUR GEEK SHRIVELLING GAZE
    B-b-b-b-but Beo, you're the Geek Avenger! how could such a thing happen?

    Our hero - turned to dust

  17. #17
    The Dashing Moderator
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    Quote Originally Posted by straycat View Post
    The really scary thing is that that was (while probably not definitively accurate), typed from memory. And I haven't heard it for about ten years.
    But is it definitively inaccurate?
    Quote Originally Posted by HHGTG Radio Scripts
    The Hitch-Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy is an indispensable companion to all those who are keen to make sense of life in an infinitely complex and confusing Universe, for though it cannot hope to be useful or informative on all matters, it does make the reassuring claim that where it is inaccurate, it is at least definitively inaccurate. In cases of major discrepancy it is always reality that's got it wrong.

    So for instance, when the Guide were sued by the families of those who had died as a result of taking the entry on the planet Traal literally (it said 'Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts often make a very good meal for visiting tourists' instead of 'Ravenous Bugblatter Beasts often make a very good meal of visiting tourists') the editors claimed that the first version of the sentence was the more aesthetically pleasing, summoned a qualified poet to testify under oath that beauty was truth, truth beauty, and hoped thereby to prove that the guilty party in this case was life itself for failing to be either beautiful or true.

    The judges concurred, and in a moving speech held that life itself was in contempt of court, and duly confiscated it from all those there present before going off for a pleasant evening's ultragolf.
    My version is typed in manually so apologies for typos and inaccuracies (definitive or otherwise).
    Love dance, will travel

  18. #18
    Papa Smurf
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    Re: The Adventure Game

    this is the best thread ever

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