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Thread: What is a "real woman

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    What is a "real woman

    Well going on from Andy's what is a real man thread, i thought to myself, well, what do men think is a real woman. Do you guys think completely differently to us and girls, what do you think a real woman should be/do...

    I am a real woman by the way for the following reasons;

    I have a vagina.
    I also have breasts

    Lets see wot you come up with.....xx

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Well going on from Andy's what is a real man thread, i thought to myself, well, what do men think is a real woman. Do you guys think completely differently to us and girls, what do you think a real woman should be/do...

    I am a real woman by the way for the following reasons;

    I have a vagina.
    I also have breasts

    Lets see wot you come up with.....xx
    I have a Peugeot 607, is this similar to a thingy and breasts?

    You do have a magic DO IT NOW NUMPTY BOY finger.

    DTS XXX XXX

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    I'm going to wait to see how deep the hole gets before I jump into it.
    That's the definition of an unreal man.

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    To quote from Dogma;

    "the definition of a woman falls between two things. Her legs. Any schmuck can have breasts, even tubby boy over there has breasts"

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Well going on from Andy's what is a real man thread, i thought to myself, well, what do men think is a real woman. Do you guys think completely differently to us and girls, what do you think a real woman should be/do...

    I am a real woman by the way for the following reasons;

    I have a vagina.
    I also have breasts

    Lets see wot you come up with.....xx
    Us boys don't even think in those terms. You'd never hear a guys saying "if you were a real woman you'd" or "there's no real women here, let's go somewhere else" or even "I'm fet up with all these young girls, I want a real woman".

    Basically we are much, much less fussy than your average woman. We accept almost all women for what they are. There are a few exceptions that we wouldn't accept, but they are far and few between.

    And that's why we can't understand it when women go on about there being no eligible men or real men in a room full of guys. If it was a room full of women we'd be delighted with half of them and pretty chuffed with the other half as well - all but that bearded lady smoking a pipe in the corner

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    If it was a room full of women we'd be delighted with half of them and pretty chuffed with the other half as well
    I bet, even the rubber ones that had valves.

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    Us boys don't even think in those terms. You'd never hear a guys saying "if you were a real woman you'd" or "there's no real women here, let's go somewhere else" or even "I'm fet up with all these young girls, I want a real woman".

    Basically we are much, much less fussy than your average woman. We accept almost all women for what they are. There are a few exceptions that we wouldn't accept, but they are far and few between.

    And that's why we can't understand it when women go on about there being no eligible men or real men in a room full of guys. If it was a room full of women we'd be delighted with half of them and pretty chuffed with the other half as well - all but that bearded lady smoking a pipe in the corner
    Really??? Not all men think like that, Andy. Although I wish they did.....

    One classic example is a guy who used to be a member of the same mountaineering club as me. In my opinion the club had lots of rather fine lassies as members, but according to this particular guy, 'about 20% are ok, the rest are mingers'. And apparently I belonged in the latter category.

    I've also gone out with guys who will happily point out my shortcomings as a woman (too fat, not pretty enough etc, but I've got a 'nice personality' ), and also slag off other women in the same room, and point out the 'gorgeous ones'. That does wonders for the old self esteem, that does.

    Ok, so I'm not a 'girly girl'. I hate clothes shopping (torture!!!), but am quite happy shopping for outdoor gear or tools for my workshop. I don't like wearing make-up. I can't wear heels. I rarely wear skirts, but feel more comfortable in trousers. I'm quite capable of doing my own DIY (painting, sanding and varnishing floors, putting together flat pack furniture, changing fuses and plugs), and would be quite excited if someone decided to give me an electric jigsaw (not the pretty picture variety - the tool!) for my birthday (alas, another year and now jigsaw....).

    Am I a woman? Yeah, I think so! And hopefully there's a few guys out there who think I'm ok just the way I am, without me trying to be someone I'm not.

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Monkey View Post
    Ok, so I'm not a 'girly girl'. I hate clothes shopping (torture!!!), but am quite happy shopping for tobacco or tools to clean the tar from my pipe. I don't like wearing make-up because it sticks in my beard.
    You sound lovely. I don't suppose, against all the odds, that you are single and would consider going to see "Sex and the City" with me. I know I'm not a real man and I'm used to rejection. Don't feel bad if you can't come because you are washing your hair or shaving into interesting patterns or something
    Quote Originally Posted by Little Monkey View Post
    I rarely wear skirts, but feel more comfortable lounging around the house in my Ann Summers underwear or naked
    I'll bring the beer and it will be perfection

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Monkey View Post
    I'm quite capable of doing my own foreplay ready for your return from the pub and would be quite excited if someone decided to give me an electric or battery operated boyfriend for my birthday
    You're sounding more perfect all the time...

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Monkey View Post
    Am I a woman? Yeah, I think so! And hopefully there's a few guys out there who think I'm ok just the way I am, without me trying to be someone I'm not.
    I'm getting a bit worried now. This "few guys"? Will I get on with them? Who is first? And, more importantly, who is last? Or will it end up like last time I was one of a "few guys" when I was given those jobs like painting the kitchen ceiling, ironing her clothes and going for more beer while the others of the "few" do the more intresting jobs where they actually get to touch a real live woman?

    Just asking?

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Monkey View Post
    One classic example is a guy who used to be a member of the same mountaineering club as me. In my opinion the club had lots of rather fine lassies as members, but according to this particular guy, 'about 20% are ok, the rest are mingers'. And apparently I belonged in the latter category.
    This guy was gay.

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    You sound lovely. I don't suppose, against all the odds, that you are single and would consider going to see "Sex and the City" with me. I know I'm not a real man and I'm used to rejection. Don't feel bad if you can't come because you are washing your hair or shaving into interesting patterns or something

    I'll bring the beer and it will be perfection.

    You're sounding more perfect all the time...

    I'm getting a bit worried now. This "few guys"? Will I get on with them? Who is first? And, more importantly, who is last? Or will it end up like last time I was one of a "few guys" when I was given those jobs like painting ironing her clothes and going for more beer while the others of the "few" do the more intresting jobs where they actually get to touch a real live woman?

    Just asking?






    OMG - I've just laughed so hard I nearly fell off my chair!

    Yeah, I'll go and see 'Sex and the City' with you, but you'll have to wear that pretty pink frock of yours. And heels. And learn to follow.

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Does being a real woman mean 'Jack of all Trades' count ??

    Oh and having a Heart

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Poi Boi View Post
    To quote from Dogma;

    "the definition of a woman falls between two things. Her legs. Any schmuck can have breasts, even tubby boy over there has breasts"


    True though, surgery and hormone tabs can do wonderful things, but you guys can never get our legs - even the ones who think they have great legs, their thighs are usually too big or too skinny

    and don't forget that lump Adam gave you !


    --ooOoo--
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    Mickey Mouse's girlfriend, Minnie, made her film debut, along with Mickey, in "Steamboat Willie" on November 18, 1928.
    That date is recognized as her official birthday.

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    oh and i just thought about another thing that makes us "real" women.

    We have every month a visitor. Its aggressive, ruins ya best knickers, kicks you in the gut repeatedly, gives ya headaches, makes ya breasts feel like ya got in a ring with tyson and he concentrated on punching in that area and costs a fortune in aids to try and avoid point 1.

    Only "REAL" woman understand.

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Monkey View Post
    And learn to follow.
    I think I was the first man in MJ to actually get a medal for following. It was only a bronze, but it was at Blackpool.

    Of course, I need a new outfit for our date. Any real women fancy a spot of shopping?

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Only "REAL" woman understand.
    Or a real husband.

    And, as a person who understands real pharmaceuticals. These are modern times and there's plenty you can do for many of those symptoms. Just talk to your GP. If they say they can't help, you've got the wrong doctor.

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    oh and i just thought about another thing that makes us "real" women.

    We have every month a visitor. Its aggressive, ruins ya best knickers, kicks you in the gut repeatedly, gives ya headaches, makes ya breasts feel like ya got in a ring with tyson and he concentrated on punching in that area and costs a fortune in aids to try and avoid point 1.

    Only "REAL" woman understand.
    AND......... those really awful hot flushes and mood swings at that certain time of life


    --ooOoo--
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    Leroy (Satchel) Paige (1906-1982)

    Mickey Mouse's girlfriend, Minnie, made her film debut, along with Mickey, in "Steamboat Willie" on November 18, 1928.
    That date is recognized as her official birthday.

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    as a person who understands real pharmaceuticals.
    One word - Endometriosis.

    Pain killers don't work and there isn't sanitary wear invented that copes with the first few days.

    My Gynaecologists answer to this? You're a woman, get over it.

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    My Gynaecologists answer to this? You're a woman, get over it.
    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    If they say they can't help, you've got the wrong doctor.
    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Pain killers don't work
    You need to have tried all of them at all of the doses before you can say this. There are many "painkillers" and many of them work in different ways. Again, talk to your GP. With some of the stronger analgesics there is a trade-off between pain-relief and side-effects. But I'm absolutely certain that there are drugs that can help.

    One word of caution with pain relief (this is my area btw), pain is a symptom, it is not the condition. It's far better to treat the condition to relieve the pain. However, after enduring pain for a long time it becomes a condition in it's own right and needs it's own management strategy. There are pain specialists who can help if you are still in severe pain and you other specialist says he/she can't help.

    Keep going back and ask to see a different doctor if your doctor says that there's nothing more they can do for the pain. If the consultant is an expert in your condition, that specialist might be right about there being nothing more that can done for your condition. However, unless it's a pain consultant who says "nothing more can be done for your pain", there ALWAYS is more that can be done. As usual with the NHS, keep going back - they will assume a successful outcome if you stop coming back and saying you are no better!

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    Oh, and a real woman says men don't undertand periods or childbirth.

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    Re: What is a "real woman

    How's this girls, I think that we can be see a definititon of what is a 'real' woman in these lyrics 'I am woman'

    I am woman, hear me roar
    In numbers too big to ignore
    And I know too much to go back and pretend
    'Cause I've heard it all before
    And I've been down there on the floor
    No one's ever gonna keep me down again

    Oh yes, I am wise
    But it's wisdom born of pain
    Yes I've paid the price
    But look how much I gained
    If I have to
    I can do anything
    I am strong
    I am invicible
    I am woman

    You can bend but never break me
    'Cause it only serves to make me
    More determined to achieve my final goal
    And I come back even stronger
    Not a novice any longer
    'Cause you've deepened the conviction in my soul

    I am woman watch me grow
    See me standing toe to toe
    As I spread my loving arms across the land
    But I am still an embryo
    With a long,long way to go
    Until I make my brother understand

    I am woman
    I am invicible
    I am strong
    I am woman

    Last edited by rubyred; 28th-June-2008 at 11:08 AM.
    if you love the life you live then you'll get a lot more done

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