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Thread: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

  1. #121
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Therefore, no partner is not compatiable, i truly believe that all partners are compatible as long as compromising is done on both sides. What causes the problems is when one does not want to compromise any longer and thats where it starts. I think if two people are matched in the compromise department, any relationship can last.

    It is all down to how far you are prepared to compromise without losing who you are.

  2. #122
    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    I wasn't disagreeing with that, i was disagreeing with your comment that it was difficult - its a chance occurence, so difficulty doesn't enter into it.

    Also, I would say that someone can be completely right for you regardless of any compromise that may be involved - the ability to compromise just being another part of your personality. You can meet someone new and think they are completely right for you only to change your mind the next day, or it may be 15 years before you realise they are no longer completely right for you because you've grown apart. You can't tell the future, but I don't think its at all uncommon for a relationship to be "completely right" at a certain moment in time.
    Interesting viewpoint - hadn't thought about it like that before. Really it's got more to do with luck than anything else then - it's not difficult, just not that likely. Finding the person who is completely right for you, and taking changes over time into account, finding that person at the point where you are both right for each other, since this can change over time. No wonder it's like looking for a needle in a haystack then!

    So what if you don't find this person at the right time...? Isn't it the longing for the right person what is difficult?

  3. #123
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    totally agree with this post DTS

    if there is a fundamental part of there personality that you can't live with tell them, if they continue to do what ever it is you can't live with, you have to come to the conclusion, there are never going to change, put up with it or and make a decision accordingly.

    I am firm believe in giving everyone a second chance, when it comes to three and four times, you either give in, there not going to change or you move on...if your allowed!

    Bit like dropping the soap in an all male prison and expecting a different outcome every time you bend down to get it

    I guess if you don’t like the out come you don’t drop the soap or just get out of the shower

    ie if it makes you uncomfortable you have to make a decison buts thats lifebuoy

  4. #124
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    All this talk of compatibility like you're choosing an accessory for your kitchen and want it to match the worktops. Do you compromise on function to get something that goes with the cooker?

    When it comes to that special person that you will have by your side the most important thing is that you love them. Without love you will look for reasons to stay and reasons to go. With love you will not give such things a second thought

    Another quote from Albert Einstein comes to mind;

    Quote Originally Posted by Albert Einstein
    "No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?"
    We can not rationalise or explain our love with this talk of compromise. We either love or we do not. If there is no love, why compromise? Although that love exists doesn't mean we don't have to compromise, it means that we will want to compromise for the sake of our love.

  5. #125
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    We can not rationalise or explain our love with this talk of compromise. We either love or we do not. If there is no love, why compromise? Although that love exists doesn't mean we don't have to compromise, it means that we will want to compromise for the sake of our love.
    Sorry, love is not enough, on it's own. It's essential yes, and wonderful. But it doesn't matter how much you love someone, if you want completely different things out of life, it isn't going to work without one of you always feeling cheated, or winding up with something you don't want (like children!). And if you are suggesting that just because you love someone you'll compromise enough to give in to whatever they want... well I'd have to question whether that is really love, from both sides.

    It's finding that magic combination of love with someone whose life you want to share.

  6. #126
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    Sorry, love is not enough, on it's own. It's essential yes, and wonderful. But it doesn't matter how much you love someone, if you want completely different things out of life, it isn't going to work without one of you always feeling cheated, or winding up with something you don't want (like children!).
    What are you doing falling in love with someone so inappropriate? As I say to my daughters, "it's as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man. Make sure the only single guys you meet are rich". Hasn't worked though

    My advice is to fall in love with someone nice

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by stewart38 View Post
    Bit like dropping the soap in an all male prison and expecting a different outcome every time you bend down to get it

    I guess if you don’t like the out come you don’t drop the soap or just get out of the shower

    ie if it makes you uncomfortable you have to make a decison buts thats lifebuoy
    Brilliant xx LOL

  8. #128
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    And if you are suggesting that just because you love someone you'll compromise enough to give in to whatever they want... well I'd have to question whether that is really love, from both sides.
    That is one-sided love, not compromise. How can you continue to love someone who doesn't love you back?

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    My advice is to fall in love with someone nice
    There is no such thing as a nice man.

    There is such a thing as a compromising man smiles sweetly but who under his breath really wants to break ya leg and stick a spoon into your eye when you tell him something he doesn't want to hear like, Can you take the rubbish out.

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Tell me is there another man in your life??

    DTS XXX XX

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    Tell me is there another man in your life??

    DTS XXX XX
    No darrrhling, but did you take the rubbish out this morning

  12. #132
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    No darrrhling, but did you take the rubbish out this morning
    No but did you ask me to ????

    I think not.

    DTS XXX XXXX

  13. #133
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    It's finding that magic combination of love with someone whose life you want to share.
    This is one version of love. And it's very fulfilling

    But there are other loves which do not last so long. The fact that we have loved, for no matter how long, touches our lives and enriches us for ever.

    So, I still say that this talk of compatibility and compromise it sterile if there is no talk of love.

    And the talk of bending over for the soap reduces the "real man" to the basic level - unfortunately that's how some of us are

  14. #134
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    No but did you ask me to ????

    I think not.

    DTS XXX XXXX
    And there ladies and gentleman lieth the difference between men and woman.

    A woman would notice a full bin and think to herself.... Aww bless him, he is not well, he is hopping around like a chimp, i'll empty that on my way down to the car.

    A man thinks <blank>


  15. #135
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    And there ladies and gentleman lieth the difference between men and woman.

    A woman would notice a full bin and think to herself.... Aww bless him, he is not well, he is hopping around like a chimp, i'll empty that on my way down to the car.

    A man thinks <blank>

    If you had pointed the finger of power and said, like you normally do, hey fat boy empty the bin on your way out.

    I would have done.

    For goodness sake my family have only recently been walking upright.

    DTS XXX XXX

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    This is one version of love. And it's very fulfilling

    But there are other loves which do not last so long. The fact that we have loved, for no matter how long, touches our lives and enriches us for ever.

    So, I still say that this talk of compatibility and compromise it sterile if there is no talk of love.
    I agree - I'd always assumed that, despite talk of compromises, any relationship we were discussing was based on love. Maybe it's the love that makes us able to compromise and not feel as if we're losing out.

    To paraphrase what someone else said, it's when you are both willing to compromise to the same degree that things can work out.

    Or even better, despite having always wanted something different (or so you thought), you suddenly find that actually you do want the same thing as your beloved after all, and so no compromise is involved

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    I agree - I'd always assumed that, despite talk of compromises, any relationship we were discussing was based on love. Maybe it's the love that makes us able to compromise and not feel as if we're losing out.

    To paraphrase what someone else said, it's when you are both willing to compromise to the same degree that things can work out.

    Or even better, despite having always wanted something different (or so you thought), you suddenly find that actually you do want the same thing as your beloved after all, and so no compromise is involved
    What is love? Im not being funny here but can somebody explain to me what that is. I thought, compromising for somebody was a form of love.

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    What is love? Im not being funny here but can somebody explain to me what that is.
    For some people love is a cuddly scaffolder - not for me though

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    I thought, compromising for somebody was a form of love.
    No, compromising for someone you don't love is a transaction.

  19. #139
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    If you had pointed the finger of power and said, like you normally do, hey fat boy empty the bin on your way out.
    Dave you forget real men have to be 'mind readers'. You should KNOW what they are thinking/really want etc

    + 2 other rules real men learn early on

    DONT say you look 'ok' in that dress etc say you look GREAT

    DONT say 'you decide', women will make the decision anyway but will feel better if they 'pretend' to listen to your input

    There are many more but thats enough to be getting on with

  20. #140
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    What is love?
    When it's easier to live with someone than without them.

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