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Thread: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

  1. #101
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    These threads have got me wondering if it's possible to define a "real "man or woman in terms that don't involve what they do in a relationship or what they have to bring to a relationship? Can someone who chooses not to be in a relationship be considered less of a "real" person for doing so?
    Might defining them that way be a little less subjective?

  2. #102
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    but basically when you are a single parent you can afford to go to work, 'cos you get help with child care, but as a married couple you don't.
    So, what you're saying is that your "financial independence" is due to help with child care that I can't get

    Somehow I feel that I'm paying for single parents to enjoy this independence. I blame the namby pamby socialists

    But good for you, Double Trouble, you've got out there and worked to support your family

    I'm sure that there are many single parents that sit there and take, take, take with no thought for those of us who pay, pay, pay.

  3. #103
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    So, what you're saying is that your "financial independence" is due to help with child care
    Well...not entirely, but it helps. There'd be no point working if all my salary went to pay a child minder, so I'm grateful for the help I get.

  4. #104
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    I've always been financially independent, apart from when I was married with three young children. It wasn't financially viable for me to go to work, so I stayed at home while my husband worked and paid for everything.
    I think if you live with your partner and have a family together under one roof (no matter which partner those children came from) you have to approach your financies with a "what is best for all of us" attitude. And there are a lot of things to consider - is there enough money coming in from one partner ? do the benefits of keeping a career going outweigh the benefits of having one of the parents bring up the children? should you both get different jobs to better manage time and money ?

    I would guess that some sort of stability is one of the most important things for children - although maybe its not a guess, as my daughter has been saying since we moved that she does not like our new house as much as the old. She liked our holiday house more too last week. It turns out it this because prior to our move in February, I worked from home for 3 months, so me being there is what makes a house "good". bless

    I get annoyed at absent parents who make court demands for when they see their children based on what is best for them rather than the children, and of course financial demands without any consideration for the children

    Would you say that rules me out as a real woman for allowing my husband to pay for everything?

    From the pics I've seen, you certainly look like a real woman

  5. #105
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    No it isn't - not unless you're both skydiving, then I imagine its fairly difficult. There is no difficulty involved in chance. I think you mean its unlikely, which is true, but you can solve that problem by finding things you really like to do and go do them, and the people that you meet doing those things are a narrowed down field already. You then pick the one that has the best body and can hold an intellectual conversation on smurfs without laughing at you (no, this never actually happened)
    Does this mean that you are now in a relationship with someone that is completely right for you? Are there no areas where you compromise with each other? If so, congratulations you have achieved what most people think is impossible.

  6. #106
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chef View Post
    A long time ago I had a girlfriend that was hugely into shopping, parties and big group of friends.

    Her big circle of friends and constant shopping meant that she was either not with me or we had a huge group of people around us and never had any time alone. I quickly felt as if I was not in a relationship with someone. I was merely an accesory to her outfit at parties. I have never before or since felt as alone as when I was going out with her.

    .

    If I didn't know better I would think you were refferning to me

    its the first thing that has made me smile today

    [QUOTE=Andy McGregor;483015]I hope you matched something in her outfit. [QUOTE]

    I have just learnt that matching isn't good

    Yaerrrrr right I like matching

  7. #107
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    A Real man is one who can think like a woman and knows when its best to do so !

  8. #108
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mac View Post
    A Real man is one who can think like a woman and knows when its best to do so !
    that's me knackered.

  9. #109
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by dep View Post
    that's me knackered.
    Thats most of us knackered!!

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by dep View Post
    that's me knackered.
    Quote Originally Posted by Mac View Post
    Thats most of us knackered!!
    Dont know wots up with you guys. Us women always think logically and its very simple. Take romance for example. We think romance is simple things in life, like a bunch of flowers now and then or opening the door or holding our hand etc etc.. you guys think romance is a dirty text message or getting us a fire extinguisher for the kitchen incase there is a fire.

    Can you not see the simple error of your ways?

  11. #111
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    ...Can you not see the simple error of your ways?
    no.

    We are just simpletons when it comes to understanding women. Well that's my opinion.

  12. #112
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    getting us a fire extinguisher for the kitchen incase there is a fire.
    We'd heard you like Firemen

  13. #113
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    We'd heard you like Firemen
    Exactly - why would we want to put the fire out ourselves No, we need a full-scale blaze, get all the hunky firemen out to rescue us, and then claim on the insurance for a new kitchen.

  14. #114
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Problem is that the firemen are always ugly! We had them out most months when i worked on a psych ward but in two years i never saw a cute one. And i always checked

  15. #115
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by cat View Post
    Problem is that the firemen are always ugly! We had them out most months when i worked on a psych ward but in two years i never saw a cute one. And i always checked
    I think it's the fantasy of being saved by a hero. And, like all fantasy, it's best left that way.

    We're helping out at a Firefighters Charity Ball in July and I've been asked the same questions by many, many women;

    Will there be Firemen?
    Will they be in uniform?

    My answer is, "dunno, I'm just providing the disco and teaching a lesson". Along with other dance venues we're selling the tickets, but the flier says you can also get them at the fire station. I've no idea how many women have made the trip to buy their ticket from a "hero" - let's hope they're not disappointed

  16. #116
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chef View Post
    Does this mean that you are now in a relationship with someone that is completely right for you?.
    Oh yes.

    Quote Originally Posted by Chef View Post
    Are there no areas where you compromise with each other?
    Of course. But you ask this question as if it negates the first one

  17. #117
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    Oh yes.



    Of course. But you ask this question as if it negates the first one
    My origional post was putting forward the idea that people rarely find someone that is completely right for us and consequently as we get to know a person more a level of compromise is required. For lot of relationships the level of compromise that would be required proves too much to accept, but the time taken to reach that conclusion can vary but can sometimes be quite long because we don't wish to give up on the emotional investment we have madeso far.

    I guess somewhere in my post that idea got lost.

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Well Chef, compromise is down to how selfish one person can be i think and i dont mean that in a nasty way, i mean, some people dont want to make allowances for partners and its their way or the highway and there is nothing wrong with that and its their choice obviously.


    Therefore, no partner is not compatiable, i truly believe that all partners are compatible as long as compromising is done on both sides. What causes the problems is when one does not want to compromise any longer and thats where it starts. I think if two people are matched in the compromise department, any relationship can last.

  19. #119
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by fletch View Post
    If I didn't know better I would think you were refferning to me

    its the first thing that has made me smile today
    Would this fit you? Why did it make you smile? My example was from my own life about 20 years ago and it has shaped what I try to give to my own relationships.

    As we all get older we aquire more responsibilities. Starting and maintaining a career or business, responibilites and needs of children, our own social life, looking after the interests of ageing parents, etc. Sometimes, although we would like to have a relationship with a person the reality is that we have filled our lives with so many other responsibilites that there really isn't enough time in our lives to have a relationship with another human being.

    A human being deserves much more from a relationship than just being pulled out from a box on those rare occasions when we feel lonely. A human being deserves much more from a relationship than the cast off scraps of our own life. As much as we try, the pressures of a modern and busy life can make it difficult to give a relationship the time and attention that they deserve.

  20. #120
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chef View Post
    My origional post was putting forward the idea that people rarely find someone that is completely right for us
    I wasn't disagreeing with that, i was disagreeing with your comment that it was difficult - its a chance occurence, so difficulty doesn't enter into it.

    Also, I would say that someone can be completely right for you regardless of any compromise that may be involved - the ability to compromise just being another part of your personality. You can meet someone new and think they are completely right for you only to change your mind the next day, or it may be 15 years before you realise they are no longer completely right for you because you've grown apart. You can't tell the future, but I don't think its at all uncommon for a relationship to be "completely right" at a certain moment in time.

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