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Thread: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

  1. #81
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    If you lower your expectations and make the best of whatever man you end up with you can try and change him in subtle and little ways.

    Do not try to change him too much or he will get the hump and back off quicker than an Italian Tank in battle.

    There are loads of single women who want a man but have a list of things they want him to be, better to be snuggled up to a not so perfect man than a perfect Teddybear.

    DTS XXX XXX
    You see i had to lower my expectations quite a bit but now we get on great.

    Mind you, never met a better snuggler than DTs. He gives me a lovely cwtch.. (thats welsh for cuddle) xx

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Trouble knows that I cannot do more than one thing at a time so she lets me finish whatever I am doing before retasking me.

    It took a while for us to realise this and I am constantly amazed by how many things she can have going on and deal with them all together, I would have a brain lock and end up wetting myself in no time at all.

    Basically men and women are different species, when we all grasp this we can get on and interact normally. If you do not grasp this war will ensue forever. men do not wind women up on purpose we just see and act in a different way to women.

    DTS XXX XXX

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    Trouble knows that I cannot do more than one thing at a time so she lets me finish whatever I am doing before retasking me.

    It took a while for us to realise this and I am constantly amazed by how many things she can have going on and deal with them all together, I would have a brain lock and end up wetting myself in no time at all.

    Basically men and women are different species, when we all grasp this we can get on and interact normally. If you do not grasp this war will ensue forever. men do not wind women up on purpose we just see and act in a different way to women.

    DTS XXX XXX

    absolutely. So here is a task for ya, get ya little tsh down to my flat cause i got shopping to do and i need a cwtch. xxxx

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    a few rules I try hard to follow


    each to there own

    my way isn't the right way its just my way

    non judgmental

    no one is perfect

    been allowd to make choises

    its not that we mess up its what we do with our second chances that counts


    and above all



    live and let live

    hear endith the sermon by fletch for today





  5. #85
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    One of my rules to define a real grown up (man or woman):

    Someone who takes total financial responsibility for themselves ( and if applicable, their family)

    I freely admit that if this is the definition of a responsible real adult, then by my own standards I am still in Kindegarten but it is a nice thought that some people reach this goal.

    Whitetiger

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    Cheeky by nature Little Monkey's Avatar
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post

    This is the bit I wanted to prove. Fletch is 28 years old and says she has never met a real man. That's because they don't exist!

    What women think is a "real man" has nothing to do with reality. And all the time women are looking for and waiting for a "real man" they are doomed to remain single and a bit annoyed with the men they meet. And men will, eventually, tire of being compared to this ideal and retreat to the pub, or the river bank or the football stadium, etc.

    So girls, is it time to wake up and smell the coffee? Who is the weakest link? The men for being as real as nature made them? Or the women who complain that men aren't "real"? Perhaps it's time to get in touch with the "real" reality rather than one that you've made up - fletch says it simply doesn't exist! Learn to love men for what they are, stop moaning, and live a happy and satisfied life.
    Well, like I tried to point out in my post, real men are the ones who have a penis. End of story. Which makes all men real men! Actually, some men don't have a penis, through strange birth defects or nasty accidents, but they're still real men - it's all down to having the right chromosomes and DNA. All men are different, as are all women.

    And btw - what you said above can also be reversed and apply to women. Many men are hunting for the 'real woman', too, and have all sorts of ideas and ideals in their heads about what a 'real woman' is. The big problem is we're all humans, with all our faults and quirks. We're all different. And none of us are perfect (well, apart from me, which is obviously what's scaring the men off - they simply can't cope with perfection! ).

    The challenge is to accept we're all different, and to find someone we 'click' with, and who we can accept the way they are, without trying to change them into our ideal picture of a man/woman. Which is tricky, but rather challenging and exciting!


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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Monkey View Post
    And btw - what you said above can also be reversed and apply to women. Many men are hunting for the 'real woman', too, and have all sorts of ideas and ideals in their heads about what a 'real woman' is.
    As I said somewhere on this thread, it's all to do with wanting people to change. And, in my experience, there is a significant number of women who are prepared to air their opinion on how a "real man" should be. Many, many women have told me how I need to change It is much rarer for a guy to say how they think a "real woman" should be. It's probably much more common for women to say how other women should chanage how they are - look at Trinny and Suzanna! And look at just about every woman's magazine telling you to dress differently, look different, cook differently, lose weight, etc, etc.

    Us guys really don't tell women how to look or behave. At least not much. We just ask to be accepted and loved for who we are

    Oh, and we'd like you to bring beer ...

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    Us guys really don't tell women how to look or behave. At least not much. We just ask to be accepted and loved for who we are
    Sorry Andy, way too much of a generalisation.

    Friend of mine has just got out of a relationship because the guy was trying to control every single thing she did, from how she dressed, what she ate, whom she had as friends and how often she saw them... Fortunately she saw the light and she'd much happier now they've split.

    Men do it to women, women do it to men. It's not right in either case. Both sexes just want to be loved for who they are.

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    Sorry Andy, way too much of a generalisation.

    - snip -

    Men do it to women, women do it to men. It's not right in either case. Both sexes just want to be loved for who they are.
    I don't think I'm generalising at all. Look at some of the women on here. They are quite happy to point out my faults ...

    I think it's the scattergun approach that I'm talking about. The way women think it's OK to say "MEN!" in an exhasperated way but would disagree if we generalised about women (see Twirly's post above for an example ).

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    Sorry Andy, way too much of a generalisation.

    Friend of mine has just got out of a relationship because the guy was trying to control every single thing she did, from how she dressed, what she ate, whom she had as friends and how often she saw them... Fortunately she saw the light and she'd much happier now they've split.

    Men do it to women, women do it to men. It's not right in either case. Both sexes just want to be loved for who they are.
    Oh, and using a specific to prove I'm wrong when I talk about most guys not doing something "much" is more likely to support my argument that behaviour is uncommon

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    Sorry Andy, way too much of a generalisation.

    Friend of mine has just got out of a relationship because the guy was trying to control every single thing she did, from how she dressed, what she ate, whom she had as friends and how often she saw them... Fortunately she saw the light and she'd much happier now they've split.

    Men do it to women, women do it to men. It's not right in either case. Both sexes just want to be loved for who they are.
    It is fairly difficult to just bump into someone who is completely right for you. Most people find someone that is mostly right and learn to live with some things that you can come to not mind and try to change some things that you can't learn to live with.

    Sometimes it takes quite a while to discover what you can learn to live with and what you can't. The time taken to realise that you can't live with an aspect of your partner and that they won't change means that all the things about them that you do love gives you a lot of emotional investment in that person that is hard to give up without having a decent try at trying to rescue the situation.

    A long time ago I had a girlfriend that was hugely into shopping, parties and big group of friends. She would ask which outfit I preferred and if I chose the one that she wanted anyway then that was fine but if I chose any other one then I was trying to tell her what to wear. I learnt not to express an opinion.

    Her big circle of friends and constant shopping meant that she was either not with me or we had a huge group of people around us and never had any time alone. I quickly felt as if I was not in a relationship with someone. I was merely an accesory to her outfit at parties. I have never before or since felt as alone as when I was going out with her.

    I did learn that you can be much happier on your own than you can be if you are with the wrong person. I learnt that when you are with the right person then life is not a struggle. Very much like dancing - if it feels like a fight or they behave like you are not there then you are with the wrong partner.
    Last edited by Chef; 30th-June-2008 at 03:03 PM.

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    Registered User Magic Hans's Avatar
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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Isis View Post
    A 'real man' IMO is a dominant man who is comfortable and at ease with his own masculinity.

    He is not a wimp but he does not feel the need to act aggressive, bullying or macho to prove he is a man.
    Hmmm ... so how then, does a 'real man' compare with a gentleman?

    Personally, I like the Andrex test.

    It is possible to be soft and strong? [the other bit is just plain rude!!!! lol]

    Is soft necessarily weak? ... or strong necessarily hard?

    Paws for thort!!!

    hehe

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chef View Post
    I quickly felt as if I was not in a relationship with someone. I was merely an accessory to her outfit at parties.
    I hope you matched something in her outfit. Maybe she thought "my bum looks big in this, I need a matching man" Although she might have wanted a large man to match her ego

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Example of a man only being able to one thing at a time.

    Whilst driving to Trouble,s flat I was thinking how I was going to get my lorry converted to be LEZ compliant and went straight past her turnig up the M11 and did a u turn at the next junction and came all the way back putting 18 miles on my journey because I was thinking about something else and not concentrating on my driving.

    DTS XXX XXX

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Isis View Post
    A 'real man' IMO is a dominant man who is comfortable and at ease with his own masculinity.
    Dominance ? Whatever happend to equality ?

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Monkey View Post
    and can be reduced to drooling wrecks by the sight of two flesh-coloured sacks of mammary glands and fatty tissue.

    Yes, you do have nice tits - but I can still talk to you normally

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chef View Post
    I learnt that when you are with the right person then life is not a struggle - if it feels like a fight or they behave like you are not there then you are with the wrong partner.


    That's about the size of it.

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chef View Post
    It is fairly difficult to just bump into someone who is completely right for you.
    No it isn't - not unless you're both skydiving, then I imagine its fairly difficult. There is no difficulty involved in chance. I think you mean its unlikely, which is true, but you can solve that problem by finding things you really like to do and go do them, and the people that you meet doing those things are a narrowed down field already. You then pick the one that has the best body and can hold an intellectual conversation on smurfs without laughing at you (no, this never actually happened)

    Quote Originally Posted by whitetiger1518 View Post
    One of my rules to define a real grown up (man or woman):

    Someone who takes total financial responsibility for themselves ( and if applicable, their family)

    What do you mean by this ? They won't sponge off new partners ?

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by whitetiger1518 View Post
    One of my rules to define a real grown up (man or woman):

    Someone who takes total financial responsibility for themselves ( and if applicable, their family)
    I think you need to be more specific, 'cos it sounds like you are saying...

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    What do you mean by this ? They won't sponge off new partners ?
    I've always been financially independent, apart from when I was married with three young children. It wasn't financially viable for me to go to work, so I stayed at home while my husband worked and paid for everything.

    Would you say that rules me out as a real woman for allowing my husband to pay for everything?

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    I've always been financially independent, apart from when I was married with three young children. It wasn't financially viable for me to go to work, so I stayed at home while my husband worked and paid for everything.
    Wow! Well done. We are both working, me with two jobs and we can only just afford to bring up our 3 children. What do you do that pays so well? I want to do that - gizza job

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    Re: Ladies, please reveal what is a "real man"?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andy McGregor View Post
    Wow! Well done. We are both working, me with two jobs and we can only just afford to bring up our 3 children. What do you do that pays so well? I want to do that - gizza job
    I'm much better off financially now than when I was married.

    It's all been discussed before, but basically when you are a single parent you can afford to go to work, 'cos you get help with child care, but as a married couple you don't.

    It's all arse about face the way the government do things.

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