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Thread: Nice Ways To Say Get Lost!!!

  1. #21
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    Re: muscle-bound, leading followers...
    I know exactly what you mean.
    I think that with these ladys, dancing is more like some martial art that you need to guide their own momentum and direction into the areas you want instead of where they seem determined to be.
    The only solution I have found is to throw in enough variations that they don't know where you're going to be leading them next; and so don't anticipate. It requires a bit of timing and physical effort for the first couple, but it gets easier as the dance progresses.

    I also have a theory that better dancers develop lighter and more subtle leads that better followers can pick up on - so it's normally the "good" dancers who will suffer more from heavy handed partners.

    Re: leading and following...
    I'm with DS - "every dance is different" but I make no appology for screwing up my dances I mess up at least one move every dance - it's part of my "improver's" programme

  2. #22
    Registered User Twinkle Toes's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Jive Brummie
    But, I s'pose what I'm after really is for people to say, that yes, it's ok to turn a lady down for a dance if you know it's going to be painful or plainly un-enjoyable??

    James,
    it is ok for you to turn a lady down for a dance if you know it's going to be painful or plainly un-enjoyable. [or a man for that matter ] You are there to enjoy, not suffer.
    I have had to do this a few times, normally with the same guys and as you say, these are not the beginners, these are people who have been around for years, but just don't seem to take heed, even when you do politely inform them that they are wrenching your arm out of it's socket. One dance with an arm wrencher can spoil your whole evening, as the pain doesn't go until you rest it.

    If you refuse politely, they have no come back and any decent person will take on board what you say. If they don't, it's their loss.

    If you feel too embarrassed to deal with the person, then do as Franck said and let the teacher deal with it.

    Failing that, take her outside and give her a good beating,

    ... or you could always set the missus on her.

    TT x

    ps. good job you said "since Musselburgh"

  3. #23
    Just got back from rockbottoms so not had time to read all of this thread.
    I find ladies with strong arm tactics are often easy to deal with by using a fingertip lead, I explain the hand hold/strong arms principles and if that does not work have a VERY light lead, keep moves simple and every time they grab hold of your hand I just swap hands to break the grip pattern.
    It works well for me but not sure if it would work for others.p

  4. #24
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    Originally posted by Lounge Lizard
    Just got back from rockbottoms so not had time to read all of this thread.
    I find ladies with strong arm tactics are often easy to deal with by using a fingertip lead, I explain the hand hold/strong arms principles and if that does not work have a VERY light lead, keep moves simple and every time they grab hold of your hand I just swap hands to break the grip pattern.
    It works well for me but not sure if it would work for others.p
    All fairly standard practise. And I still challenge you to keep your fingers out of the vice like grip that one lady put mine into last Saturday

    They are just about recovering now

    Steve

  5. #25
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    Originally posted by TheTramp
    And I still challenge you to keep your fingers out of the vice like grip that one lady put mine into last Saturday



    Steve
    Steve, I have to agree. Not sure if I did it by accident or not but did have a go at this when I danced with 'the lady' and found that she grabbed my hand as soon as she could after certain moves. Bear in mind that the track we danced to wasn't fast and I didn't put her into any potentially unsafe moves. We just danced beginners moves with the odd intermediate one thrown in. Maybe my lead is too light... i thought that was a good thing though...??

  6. #26
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    Originally posted by TheTramp
    And I still challenge you to keep your fingers out of the vice like grip that one lady put mine into last Saturday
    For all the technique and positive talk on this subject (including my own offerings, Lizard and DaveB's excellent advice on this topic etc etc) I have to admit that it is the one thing I find scarier than practically anything else on the dance floor - if she seems like she won't let go, I find it hard even to concentrate on the dancing. What if I spin her? What if she won't let go? Can we have a trial separation that doesn't involve dislocating my elbow or places where the blood no longer flows?

  7. #27
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    Originally posted by Gadget
    I also have a theory that better dancers develop lighter and more subtle leads that better followers can pick up on - so it's normally the "good" dancers who will suffer more from heavy handed partners.
    Gadget I'll back you up on this one, in that my lead is very light and quite often tends to be a one or two finger lead with experienced lady dancers. Yet with beginners I naturally start light but adjust my lead depending on how they are following.

    But as Lounge Lizard says with the ladies who do grip tightly a light grip is easier to get out of.

  8. #28
    Registered User Jon L's Avatar
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    I like the idea of finger tip lead - it sounds a good one and hand changing - I'll try and put that into practice.

  9. #29
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    Originally posted by TheTramp
    And I still challenge you to keep your fingers out of the vice like grip that one lady put mine into last Saturday
    Sometimes even the one finger method it is pretty impossible, I tend to resort to lots of moves where there is no handhold at all, (after all Nigel often repeats that jive is "a right hand lead dance.") Lots of free spins, leads with your hand on her back, shoulders, hips. If the arms are involved, using her wrists and forearm.

    It's a while since I've felt compelled to do this, so after this thread has reminded me, I'm looking forward to testing out what I've said.

    But if I get too heavy handed myself, and it does vary lots with different partners, music, levels of exhaustion etc. I WANT TO KNOW ABOUT IT ASAP during the dance so that I can adjust. After the dance is too late, 'cos it means neither of us has enjoyed it.

    Greg

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