Asking strange men.

[JiveLad]

I had not met Fletch until recently, when she asked me for Dance at Gloucester. Refusing was not an option

Building on this, I was wondering if there could be a new thread: 'My first dance with Fletch'. (moderators?)

This was my first experience: November 26th, 2006 at Stockport - and no mention of boobs:

Ceroc Mad Jive Lad: Search results for stockport vignettes

[Gav]

My advise is, don't ask the strange ones

Great, that's one less dance I'll get .

[Caz]

Ask the strange ones! They are usually more fun!

[CheesyRobMan]

Building on this, I was wondering if there could be a new thread: 'My first dance with Fletch'. (moderators?)

I've never had the pleasure of Fletch...

[dep]

I've never had the pleasure of Fletch...

nor have I.
Is it worth waiting for?

[Easily Led]

Thanks for the advice - I have tried asking a pre-agreed (with myself) number and it did turn out to be one of my best ever nights so that is probably the way to go, especially if you just go round the room almost indiscriminately, but not in too relentless a fashion. Just need the confidence now to do it (perhaps I could follow in Fletch's wake and catch the fallout ?)!

I also deliberately seek out "shy" looking people and beginners and even the slightly strange but I don't think there will be many of the first two at Southport. Having said all this I was there last June and it was the best weekender so far for me because if I didn't get dances in the blues room it was easy to go to the main room (I found it a bit of a mission at Breeze). However, my expectations were lower and I was happier with fewer dances than I would be now. Also if you are an asker you do have more control of how your evening goes and what you dance to .

Would well known Westies rather not be asked by ordinary MJ dancers, as these are the people I would really think twice about asking?

BTW I will have a top that has "Easily Led" on it but I do like to keep a relatively low profile - after all I am a snake !

[Minnie M]

I've been dancing for 14 years and still find it difficult sometimes to actually ask someone to dance, I often run and hide.

Weekenders are great as you don't need to drive, so I usually have a little drinky to give me the dutch courage I need to look so confident, then once you get going you will find that some do ask you. Remenber to smile, that really helps.

The forum Barbie will help for Saturday night - don't forget to come !!

[MartinHarper]

Would well known Westies rather not be asked by ordinary MJ dancers, as these are the people I would really think twice about asking?

I'm happy to dance anything I can dance.

[Lynn]

Would well known Westies rather not be asked by ordinary MJ dancers, as these are the people I would really think twice about asking?

You can ask and check if they want to do MJ. Some might be very WCS focused and not want to switch styles, but you don't know till you ask. Most are also extremely nice MJ leads.

[Lory]

I also deliberately seek out "shy" looking people and beginners and even the slightly strange
~snip~

BTW I will have a top that has "Easily Led"

Your brave

.....there you go guys, if you get asked, you know why!

I, on the other hand, only go for the best looking, hunky dance gods!

[Balders1973]

Your brave

.....there you go guys, if you get asked, you know why!

I, on the other hand, only go for the best looking, hunky dance gods!

That can't be true, you've asked me in the past.

[Cruella]

(perhaps I could follow in Fletch's wake and catch the fallout

Occasionally they do too!

Would well known Westies rather not be asked by ordinary MJ dancers, as these are the people I would really think twice about asking?

What is it about Westies that makes them unapproachable to ask in comparison to MJers? You have to remember they are human and have the same insecurities as you do. Pretty much every Westie I know has a background in MJ. Why would they be reluctant to dance any more than the MJer next to them? (Admittedly if it's a WCS track playing you might notice a few triple steps creeping in to their footwork, but only because it's difficult not to )

[Easily Led]

Your brave

.....there you go guys, if you get asked, you know why!

I, on the other hand, only go for the best looking, hunky dance gods!

As you know not all dance gods are necessarily conventionally good-looking and hunky and the queue for those that are is usually too much for me. I may have danced with some but only if they happen to be sitting out or otherwise available and how often does this happen - they are usually dancing with you ! By slightly strange I mean like the really young guy with a hat and piercings (I don't know his name) but he has the most amazing dance style with often a one finger to palm connection (he is often to be seen with Revdrop I think). Also Stokie and Gav have put themselves in this category (amazingly) so ...............

BTW do you have a list of dance gods as it would be nice to sample them if they are ever available !

[Easily Led]

Occasionally they do too!


What is it about Westies that makes them unapproachable to ask in comparison to MJers? You have to remember they are human and have the same insecurities as you do. Pretty much every Westie I know has a background in MJ. Why would they be reluctant to dance any more than the MJer next to them? (Admittedly if it's a WCS track playing you might notice a few triple steps creeping in to their footwork, but only because it's difficult not to )

I am sure this is true of WCS ladies but the men can afford to be so much more choosy given the usual gender imbalance which seems to be the same, if not worse in WCS (to judge by reports from the WS weekender recently).

[Trouble]

I normally watch the floor and see who looks interesting to dance with. I then make a b line. I have not had a refusal yet.... most men are just as nervous as women are about asking and are absolutly grateful when you do it for them.

i love asking strange men....

[Easily Led]

I have had refusals and this is what makes it hard to ask the next time. The most memorable was Mr "Bugger Off", I have had at least two from forumites and one, which I didn't mind, was from a bloke who said he was too tired and he did look quite unfit so I believed him !

[CheesyRobMan]

The most memorable was Mr "Bugger Off"

I hope you kneed him in the balls for that. How rude!

[jive-vee]

Thinking about it, another thing that helps me is staying up all night dancing in the Blues room and the main room (until it closes that is) - it helps me to get more dances as you can see people and be seen, plus as there are often fewer people you sometimes get 2 or 3 on the trot. This helps people stick in your mind so your list of people to ask will grow and hopefully so will the list of people who ask you.

I can see that forum gatherings are a good way to put names to faces and find some friendly people to ask to dance however being quite shy (only initially) I would find it harder to attend one of those and approach people just to say hi than I ever would asking a complete stranger to dance.

[Trouble]

I have had refusals and this is what makes it hard to ask the next time. The most memorable was Mr "Bugger Off", I have had at least two from forumites and one, which I didn't mind, was from a bloke who said he was too tired and he did look quite unfit so I believed him !

The trick is not to take it personally, us women have a built in brain compartment that makes us try and reason/dicipher everything. --- why did he refuse me, why did he say he was tired and now he is dancing with that other girl, why hasn't he come and asked me - why is he not smiling, why did he, why did he why did he why did he.....

Its tiresome but something we do, the trick is to remember, men do not have this capability generally, they are a much simpler breed. They are as follows; Need to drink -refuse, need to pee - refuse, need to rest - refuse, they dont really think to themselves, ooh your looking crap tonight, no thanks or ooh your not wearing a short enough skirt tonight no thanks. They dont have the brain speed to cope with that sort of thinking. ps ( i love all men and this is not inteneded in anyway to offend or upset any of you)
So in short, refusal is often just simply single tasking restrictions. Men cant do more than one thing so if they do refuse its often that they need to do something else....so dont let it upset you.

[Easily Led]

On one level I know that you are right but on the other hand you, and I suspect Lory and pretty much Fletch (apart from the TTinTH) never get refusals so it is easy for you to say this. Twirlie Bird doesn't even have to ask at all !

BTW - do blondes have more fun ?