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Thread: Partner with competition dance partner conflict

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    Registered User Spiky Steve's Avatar
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    Partner with competition dance partner conflict

    Hey I am having a new thread fest.

    Does anyone find being someones dance partner causes conflict in a relationship or a dance partnership being affected by a new love.

    I have experienced this as well as some friends.

    Has anyone had any problems with this?

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    Registered User Billi Wiz's Avatar
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    Re: Partner with competition dance partner conflict

    DEFINITELY....

    My Partner is also my Dance Partner & we have to be very terribly careful not to fall out... & Though we have discussed the possibility of dancing with other people in competition it could cause a wee bit of jealousy... Rejection in any form is never easy to take..

    I've also had a non-dancing Ex who couldn't understand why I wanted to dance with other women....

    I'd buy a tin hat if I were you!!!

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    Re: Partner with competition dance partner conflict

    Quote Originally Posted by Spiky Steve View Post
    Hey I am having a new thread fest.

    Does anyone find being someones dance partner causes conflict in a relationship or a dance partnership being affected by a new love.

    I have experienced this as well as some friends.

    Has anyone had any problems with this?
    Sadly I have

    my ex dance partner and I had been dancing together for 12 months when he started seeing a new girl.

    To start with all was fine – and initially – she befriended me - and we became friendly to the point of us having contact independent to my dance partner – sadly this state of affairs did not continue.

    After a couple of months she developed issues with me, at first I humoured her – made excuses for her bad behaviour, such as she’s young and thought if I behaved like an adult and didn’t give the behaviour attention it wouldn’t be an issue – I could understand where she was - that it was difficult sharing him – we were training 2-3 times a weeks and were also good friends having known each other for a couple of years - unfortunately this just lead to further problems.

    She started to bad mouth me to all and sundry –again I stupidly chose to let this slide thinking that if I didn’t stir it would go away – no such luck.

    I had a wonderful/dreadful experience of a friend inviting me out for coffee and then painfully telling me what this girl had been saying about me - things that were not only untrue but incredibly hurtful and worse yet she had managed to get a small following of people who believed the vitriol that she was spewing - including a couple of people that I considered friends. I say that this was a wonderful/dreadful experience as I was and still am in awe of my friend for being brave and caring enough to tell me what was going on.

    This had a big impact on not only on our dance partnership but on our friendship as well – as the resulting mess was a lot of people sticking their oar in about the situation with out knowing all the facts – such as one individual telling me I should let her dance with him more - what this person didn’t know was that at class night I only ever asked him to dance twice if we danced more than that he had asked me – we never danced at parties due to him working in hospitality and rarely getting to freestyles, another time I was told off for not letting his girlfriend partner him for a comp – they seemed to miss the fact that they were at completely different ends of the competition spectrum and there are more instances than can be listed here.

    In the end we managed to salvage our friendship but our dance partnership didn’t survive – didn’t help that we both moved to new cities - and neither did their relationship.

    This experience has made me wary and while I am understanding of concerns a dance partner’s partner may have – and will make every effort to put them at ease – I wont just stand by next time if they were to attack me – the hurt and damage caused to me and my friendship with my dance partner by months of being bad mouthed is not something I would tolerate again

    And to end on a happier note – I count myself so very blessed to have friends that were brave and loving enough to tell me what was going on and to stand by me through so much turmoil.

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    Registered User Spiky Steve's Avatar
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    Re: Partner with competition dance partner conflict

    Quote Originally Posted by Yliander View Post
    Sadly I have

    And to end on a happier note – I count myself so very blessed to have friends that were brave and loving enough to tell me what was going on and to stand by me through so much turmoil.
    Thank you for sharing. Looks like you were lucky with your friends.

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    Re: Partner with competition dance partner conflict

    Quote Originally Posted by Spiky Steve View Post
    Thank you for sharing. Looks like you were lucky with your friends.
    indeed I was

    I was also in the difficult position of having a lot of empathy for my dance partner's partner as I had been in a similar position - so could understand where she was coming from.

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    Ceroc N.I. Franchise Owner drathzel's Avatar
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    Re: Partner with competition dance partner conflict

    Although i tend not have a permanent dance partner i have competed and taught with a few different men, in most cases they have come and stayed with me in my house (both when i lived with my sister and when i lived with my boyfriend) spending hours dancing and chatting with them. Forming relationships with them.

    i know that while jake doesnt have a problem with the amount of time i spend with these people he does get tetchy if the time cuts in to "our" time. Jake and i have a house in NI but he is only here 3 days a week and before that we only saw each other 2 weekends a month. I can understand where he came from. Now that was see each other more often he is happy for me to go off and do my own thing as long as we make the effort to spend time together and that i think is the key.

    I think as long as you are careful to balance dance partner time with partner time it can work. All three people need to have a certain level of understanding. Dance partner/gf/bf not demanding too much time etc.

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