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Thread: Has anyone been to see a medium?

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    Senior Member rubyred's Avatar
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    Has anyone been to see a medium?

    I have decided to go to see a medium next week, my reasons are around the difficulty I have had in coming to terms with a death in the family, not a recent one I hasten to add. I have to admit I am nervous about it to an extent, and not entering into the experience lightly, but I wondered if I could get some answers so as to try to understand my situation better. I wondered if others have had experience of going to see mediums and what they were? I invite your thoughts please?

    ......and of course before the joke is aired medium in this case has nothing to do with size.
    Last edited by rubyred; 15th-May-2008 at 06:32 PM.
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    Registered User Keefy's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    I have never seen a medium and would not dream of doing so, they prey on vulnerable people and not one of them has ever been shown to have anything genuine. They rely on people going to see them when they are open and vulnerable to suggestion and cold reading.

    As an alternative try getting in touch with your local church or PCT, a friend of mine used the local churches bereavement counselling service and found them excellent and very helpful to them. Personally I would not hesitate to use a bereavement councillor but I would go nowhere near a medium.

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    Registered User John S's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    I don't know the circumstances of your bereavement, and it would not be appropriate for you to disclose them on a public forum so I won't inquire. Bereavement is something most of us encounter and hardly any of us are any good at coming to terms with, so don't beat yourself up for the way you feel - it's probably quite normal, albeit no doubt painful and distressing.

    As to whether or not you seek professional help in coming to terms with it, again that has to be your decision and if you do seek professional help then you need to decide on what fundamental basis or belief system that help will be based.

    For example, if you are religious then you might want to seek advice/comfort/explanation from a professional from within your religion, eg minister/priest/rabbi/imam or whatever.

    If you have a belief in some kind of afterlife, but perhaps not in an organised religion, then you might consider a medium or spiritualist.

    If you believe that, however well-meaning any of the individuals listed above might be, their fundamental belief system is basically untrue, then perhaps you could seek advice from a professional counsellor, preferably someone who is trained and qualified in your particular need, in this case bereavement. You can find this on the British Association of Counselling & Psychotherapy website here by choosing "Bereavement" from the drop-down menu:
    BACP Seeking a Therapist - Quick Help

    If you do go down the BACP route you should certainly find someone who is completely non-judgmental about whatever the circumstances of the death might be, and whose aim should be nothing more than to help you. Above all, at your first meeting/interview be completely frank about what you hope to get out of it and there is certainly no need to commit yourself to a long-term contract unless you are satisfied that this is what you want. You can always go elsewhere.

    Personally, from the above options I know which I would chooose, and it would NOT be some medium whose accreditation, counselling skills and motivation is possibly suspect, but then I am not in your situation. Whatever you decide, good luck.

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    Registered User Isis's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    I think there's no harm in going to see what they have to say and would probably do the same thing myself.

    If they're talking rubbish, you'll be smart enough to see through it and if they seem genuine, it could be very comforting.

    Perhaps take a friend with you for moral support in case the experience is upsetting or overwhelming.

    Good luck

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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    It is extremely easy to dismiss a visit to a medium as rubbish and I would be the first in the queue to say so.BUT I have been to see one,for reasons that are not relevant to this question,and believe me she actually told me something that left me almost speechless.Nothing I had said to her and I was very careful about what I did say,could have possibly given her any inkling to what she came out with.
    Having said that a lot of the rest of her observations were exactly what I expected-money,work,living abroad(oh,I'm in Portugal),children.

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    Commercial Operator jive_me's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    This is interesting to me because I've just written a paper on mediumship. Albeit the subject was photography. However, I attended a few meetings at several different churches and a private session with a psychic.

    Advice? Be very very careful. I was picked out twice for readings at the churches, bearing in mind I went as an observer and not looking for anything. One reading was pretty spot on with some specific information and was actually very comforting to me.

    The second reading was not so comforting. Someone picked up on the recent split with my boyfriend. It was something that I had put behind me but this particular medium was exactly tactful and I was very upset by the end of the meeting.

    Since you're going to see a medium I'm assuming they'll have been trained to have a little more tact and I wouldn't worry in that respect. Just be aware they don't always pick up on the things that you want them to. You might want to hear from Grandad Bob but the person who comes through might be Great Aunty Mary. Go with an open mind.

    xXx

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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    Quote Originally Posted by Isis View Post
    If they're talking rubbish, you'll be smart enough to see through it and if they seem genuine, it could be very comforting.
    This is a fallacy. These people depend for their income on fooling people into thinking that they are telling them things which they could not know if not for their mystical powers. You really think that they aren't good at doing it? Of course, some of them are probably lazy because the people who go to them are gullible enough to believe any old rubbish.

    I'm truly sorry to read that rubyred is suffering unhappiness as a result of a bereavement, but lies and deception can never be the answer. In any event, it's been documented many times that mediums can cause more misery and distress - the comforting element rather depends on the character of the person you see. Sylvia Browne, in the US, casually told desperate parents on TV that their missing son was already dead, tortured and killed. He turned up alive and well a year or so later. I bet they were really comforted.

    In Derren Brown gives cold readings pretending to be a medium. You will see how astonishingly apparently accurate and close he is. Trickery though.

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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    Quote Originally Posted by jive_me View Post
    Since you're going to see a medium I'm assuming they'll have been trained to have a little more tact and I wouldn't worry in that respect.
    Why on earth would you assume that? Mediums aren't trained. You see any courses advertised locally? It isn't like medicine, or counselling, where you have to study and be monitored for years before you're allowed to call yourself qualified. I can set up a tent at a car boot sale on Sunday, if I want to, and claim to be a medium and psychic!!

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    Registered User ~*~Saligal~*~'s Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    Quote Originally Posted by rubyred View Post
    I have decided to go to see a medium next week, my reasons are around the difficulty I have had in coming to terms with a death in the family, not a recent one I hasten to add. I have to admit I am nervous about it to an extent, and not entering into the experience lightly, but I wondered if I could get some answers so as to try to understand my situation better. I wondered if others have had experience of going to see mediums and what they were? I invite your thoughts please?

    ......and of course before the joke is aired medium in this case has nothing to do with size.
    I guess it depends on how you found your medium. There's been a telly show here called "Sensing Murder" where they've scouted through hundreds of mediums to come down to two pretty good ones to help out with murder cases. One of them has come up with names of people who committed the murder as well as the name of the person murdered and many more details - the police have confirmed her information to be correct. Maybe if you could find someone who helps the police out you might find them to be a tad more reliable, than asking a friend of a friend.
    I haven't had the need to see a medium, but I am curious about them. Along with all the other psychics etc, some are total duds and prey on upset folks. I think when you go, take someone with you - you could even ask for the session to be taped. That way you have another reference point to decide whether they have been talking crap or not. It's usually a good idea to dress plainly, don't wear too much jewellery or person items - and don't give too much information to the medium. If they are a fraud, they will look at you and use stereotypical information based on their judgement of how you look and the information you've provided.
    Anyway, good luck with your quest.

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    Papa Smurf
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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    Quote Originally Posted by Isis View Post
    I think there's no harm in going to see what they have to say
    Thats rather niave, reminds me of the Dr.Pepper adverts. Go on, whats the worst that could happen

    If they're talking rubbish, you'll be smart enough to see through it
    Thats a big assumption. Not a single person on this forum is immune to being conned no matter how smart they are.

    Quote Originally Posted by Keefy View Post
    I have never seen a medium and would not dream of doing so, they prey on vulnerable people
    So you have no real experience at all then but are willing paint them all with the same brush.

    You are willing to recommend people go to their local church for help without knowing if they are religious!

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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    Quote Originally Posted by Barry Shnikov View Post
    I can set up a tent at a car boot sale on Sunday, if I want to, and claim to be a medium and psychic!!
    Now there's an idea. Will you be doing extras for a fiver?


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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    So you have no real experience at all then but are willing paint them all with the same brush.

    You are willing to recommend people go to their local church for help without knowing if they are religious!
    Hmmm. Barry has no real experience of them either and is happy to tar them all with the same brush too, yet you only direct this at Keefy. Unless, of course, it's ok for Barry to detest and disagree with things from the evidence of his opinion and personal perspective, whilst it's not ok for anyone else to detest or disagree with things from the evidence of their own opinion and personal perspective.

    Keefy is recommending they go to a church due to experience and opinion. If Rubyred isn't religious and doesn't like the idea, I'm sure she won't be offended by the mere suggestion.

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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiger Feet View Post
    Hmmm. Barry has no real experience of them either
    His posts suggested he does have experience and is quite knowlegable on the subject ; he did not claim to have none as Keefy specifically did.

    Keefy is recommending they go to a church due to experience and opinion. If Rubyred isn't religious and doesn't like the idea, I'm sure she won't be offended by the mere suggestion.
    I was only pointing out the double standard of criticising something you admit you know nothing about whilst pushing something that many people consider no less superstitious than the thing you are criticising. Unless the local church is pushing a purely secular councilling service (which may be possible I suppose, having never been to one i have no idea)

    If the "mere suggestion" was a Satanic Counselling service, or a Scientology Counselling Service - can you imagine no one ever being offended by that either ? I have no idea what RubyRed would be offended by.

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    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dreadful Scathe View Post
    His posts suggested he does have experience and is quite knowlegable on the subject ; he did not claim to have none as Keefy specifically did.
    You think BS post suggested he has been to see a medium? Sounded more to me like second hand information based on things he has read or seen on TV rather than actual experience to me. Not that its not possible to make a detailed study of something without actually experiencing it, but then you can't say you have 'experience of the the subject'.

    I wouldn't recommend going to a medium as while I believe they can probably contact something, I don't think its the person you wish to connect with. (Also I follow the Bible, which teaches against it.) But I do totally understand the desire to sort out unresolved issues with someone who has died, to be able to feel closure and peace. I think though that is probably only possible in your own heart and head and it may be that a counsellor would be best able to help someone work through those feelings.

    RR - I hope that whatever you choose to do, you find peace and acceptance of things.

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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    I suggest Ruby goes our for a curry and few beers with her mates to talk things over. Things always look better when you've had a night out with your buddies.

    I'm with Barry on the mediums. The fact that anyone can call themselves a medium would be enough to put me off seeing one, not to mention that I think it's all total pants. If they can see in to the future why aren't they all millionaires? They would know the lottery numbers for a rollover in advance wouldn't they?

    One of my best mates swears by her medium. She goes for regular readings and is comforted when she gets told that her baby girl will be a successful business woman when she grows up, or that her future looks bright and healthy,blah, blah blah. Good luck to her. If she thinks spending hundreds of pounds to have someone tell her positive things is a worthwhile way to spend her money then who am I to argue?

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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    I don't get people's fascination with mediums: I mean, they talk with the dead - wouldn't it be better to talk with the living? What can the dead impart that is of any use?
    I could understand the fascination if you were dead: mediums are the only ones who would listen to you. But if the spirits or whatever mediums talk to are floating about, then why not just address your thoughts to them while sitting doing nothing else?

    In terms of bereavement, you could "pass on" your love to the spirit through the medium - but why involve the middle-man? To get the comfort that your love is acknowledged? Isn't love meant to be unconditional? Just because they are gone, does not mean they have erased themselves from your existence. Does not mean that you stop loving them.
    You may miss them, you may not be able to generate any more memories with them, but nothing (except age) can remove the memories already there. You know how they would react, you know the times you wish they could be there to share experiences with you. They have left you with this legacy and as long as you still miss them, then they are still with you. Past love shared never goes stale.

    If you can do something and hear or feel the praise/critique from someone you were close to, then why do you need to see a medium? I smile and acknowledge their input with a thought of warmth, comfort and love.

    I can see the usefulness of a medium if the deceased passed away with the safe combination or you needed to know something only they were privy to (like what happened at their death). Other than that I think it's just a cool parlour trick {no matter the "reality" of what they do}


    ~edit~
    BTW "medium", "spiritualist" talks to dead folk. "Fortune Teller", "Precognitive", "Seer" all look into the future by some form of divination. A "medium" can use the same trappings as a fortune teller, but the aims are different.
    Last edited by Gadget; 16th-May-2008 at 12:53 PM.

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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    There are different types of mediums -

    Clairvoyance - seeing

    Clairsentience - feeling (info from a possesion like a watch of the client)

    Clairaudience - hearing/listening

    Clairalience - smelling

    I agree there are lots of charaltans, you need to find a medium with a true gift. Avoid advertisements I would say.

    It is often inherited. (Of course Barry would say that it's just the mother passing on her trade to the daughter)

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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    Quote Originally Posted by Astro View Post
    Clairalience - smelling
    "I smell dead people"


    Just dosn't have the same ring to it... or would that be Clairaudience { couldn't help that one}

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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    Quote Originally Posted by Astro View Post
    It is often inherited.


    I can't believe you just wrote that without any irony whatsoever.

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    Re: Has anyone been to see a medium?

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Now there's an idea. Will you be doing extras for a fiver?

    Mmm. For you, no extra charge...

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