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Thread: There's hope for us all...

  1. #41
    Registered User David Franklin's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory (quoting someone else) View Post
    This attached photo was taken at a competition in June 2006. The competition was between 9 women for best makeover.
    They had every possible beauty treatment available to them over a period of 12 hours before the contest. Look at the before and after photos. It really is Shocking!
    The above turns out to be pretty inaccurate. See Beautiful Dreamers - The Swan : People.com to see the same photos from a reality show in 2004.

    From Wiki (emphasis mine):
    Each contestant was assigned a panel of specialists — a coach, therapist, trainer, cosmetic surgeons and a dentist — who together designed an individually tailored program for her. The contestants’ work ethic, growth and achievement was monitored during a three-month transformation process.

  2. #42
    Cheeky by nature Little Monkey's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post

    But, even though I'm pleased with myself in one way, I still flippin' hate the way I look! So, your very very lucky indeed!
    Really?? Oh no! That makes me really sad, because I think you're truly gorgeous!

    I got a huge compliment this weekend. Had a few peeps back to the caravan for cake, tea and gossip one night, and I decided to quickly jump in the shower and change (had done Mario's class which finished at 10pm, and wanted to freshen up and change for the evening). Re-appeared about 10 minutes later, and excused myself to everyone saying 'This is as good as it gets, I can't be bothered with make-up and several hours doing my hair, so you'll just have to put up with me the way I am, I'm afraid'. I was then told that 'You don't need any make up when you're that gorgeous and have such a flawless complexion, you're beautiful just the way you are'

    That did absolute wonders to my self esteem!

    I'm sure I could look quite glamorous if I had a boob job, liposuction of my flabby belly, had my eyelashes and brows tinted (and the latter plucked...), botox in my forehead, dyed my hair (one of the few things I do), had a professional hairdresser spend 2 hours styling and straightening it, had a spary tan, teeth whitened, tinted contacts, manicure and pedicure and god knows what else (lots and lots of make-up)...... But a) I can't afford it, b) I haven't got time to go to beauty salons and plastic surgeons all the time and c) I can't be bothered. What I can't change by going to the gym will just have to remain unchanged, I'm afraid. I'll slap on some make-up from time to time, but mostly I really can't be bothered.......... So I'm glad there's men out there who like 'natural' women, too!

  3. #43
    Dickie Davies' love-child Cruella's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    Absolutely brilliant!
    I lost quite a lot of weight a few years back, then gradually put a bit back on (nowhere near all of it)
    This is where I am
    Quote Originally Posted by Lory
    and last year I lost the bit I'd gained again,
    This is where I want to be
    Quote Originally Posted by Lory
    But, even though I'm pleased with myself in one way, I still flippin' hate the way I look! So, your very very lucky indeed!
    I too wasn't 100% happy after my weight loss but I was still far happier than before it (and certainly before I put some back on again!)

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory
    When you loose weight after a certain age, your face drops and people start asking you, why your looking miserable, even when your not which MAKES you miserable and then you look even worse!

    I'm saving up!
    Me too
    Women (and i'm sure men) all love to feel like they are attractive to the opposite sex. When I hear derogatory comments from other people about the way another person looks, I tend to take it personally too, as I feel that there will be others out there saying similar about me.

  4. #44
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Cruella View Post
    When I hear derogatory comments from other people about the way another person looks, I tend to take it personally too, as I feel that there will be others out there saying similar about me.
    Fek the lot of em....! If they don't think you're gorgeous, just rely on blind confidence the way I do. Works a treat.

  5. #45
    Dickie Davies' love-child Cruella's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Fek the lot of em....! If they don't think you're gorgeous, just rely on blind confidence the way I do. Works a treat.
    I am confident most of the time, but it doesn't take much to knock that confidence and make me completely paranoid! I've heard some very nasty comments about the 'less than perfect' passed amongst some dancers that seem to think they are flawless.
    How many of you put it down to your looks (or lack of), when you are refused a dance? I'm sure I can't be the only one that does that!

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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Cruella View Post
    I've heard some very nasty comments about the 'less than perfect' passed amongst some dancers that seem to think they are flawless.
    That's the thing though innit. Those flawless types who think their shlt don't stink are ugly through and through - it runs through them like a stick of Blackpool rock. No one really cares what they think and even though others may laugh at their hurtful and spiteful comments, you can bet your arse that secretly they are just thinking the same as you...twat with a small c0ck.

    Quote Originally Posted by Cruella View Post
    How many of you put it down to your looks (or lack of), when you are refused a dance? I'm sure I can't be the only one that does that!
    Actually, I always think it's because I'm a crap dancer.

  7. #47
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Cruella View Post
    How many of you put it down to your looks (or lack of), when you are refused a dance? I'm sure I can't be the only one that does that!
    I do often used to think that no one wants to dance with a big girl like me!

    Then i thought sod them its their loss

    (But i'm still not brave enough to go and ask for a dance!!)

  8. #48
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by David Franklin View Post
    Having looked closer at the images, I'd say they're photoshopped beyond all recognition. ....
    Note that (a) although I write image editing software for a living, I don't actually know how to use it very well, and (b) I've intentionally not done anything too drastic.
    for photograhers here is an image editing software for portraits that is fairly easy to use


    Portrait Professional - Enhance your photos using the best airbrushing and photo editing software

  9. #49
    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by DD+ View Post
    I often used to think that no one wants to dance with a big girl like me!

    Then i thought sod them its their loss

    (But i'm still not brave enough to go and ask for a dance!!)


    However DD+, some of 'em do like to dance with us less-than-svelte types, thank heavens.

    I'll ask, but I do wonder if I don't get asked as I'm not young and slim anymore (actually, don't care about the young bit, as am much happier the age I'm at now , the body not working as well as it used to is the only downside).

    And I love DTS for this post he made some time ago
    Quote Originally Posted by dave the scaffolder View Post
    Hold on just a darn tooting cotton picking moment there pilgrim.

    I dont normally ask the young slim girlies to dance as i find the more mature and slightly more padded ladies are usually better dancers.

    As in everything there are no hard and fast rules, I can feel my feet edging closer to my mouth even as I type this.

    DTS Dave XXX XXX

  10. #50
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Fatism, Im not sure that is a name but you will know what i mean, does exist in the dance world. If you look around a dance floor, the very larger ladies are normally left standing around and get a sympathy dance now and then. For me, blind cheek and confidence gets around that and i have noticed a difference since taking off 48ibs.

    It does exist and there is nothing that can be done about it unfortunately.

  11. #51
    Registered User Tiger Pants's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    For me, blind cheek and confidence gets around that and i have noticed a difference since taking off 48ibs.
    ..........but you'll still dance with me in Sp though, right?

  12. #52
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Tiger Pants View Post
    ..........but you'll still dance with me in Sp though, right?
    Oh god, your compulsory dancing baby.... I would cry if i didn't have you. Mind you i have to fight you now cause DTS keeps trying to butt in.

  13. #53
    Registered User Tiger Pants's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Oh god, your compulsory dancing baby.... I would cry if i didn't have you. Mind you i have to fight you now cause DTS keeps trying to butt in.
    I keep the good stuff for you, mind you I do let him watch.

  14. #54
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Cruella View Post
    When I hear derogatory comments from other people about the way another person looks, I tend to take it personally too, as I feel that there will be others out there saying similar about me.
    Well, I think you're hot. So there.

  15. #55
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Double Trouble View Post
    Actually, I always think it's because I'm a crap dancer.
    Do you need a rod?

  16. #56
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by DD+ View Post
    I do often used to think that no one wants to dance with a big girl like me!

    (But i'm still not brave enough to go and ask for a dance!!)
    You can ask me any day. I loved our dances at Bournemouth. Silly moo.

  17. #57
    Registered User Mezzosoprano's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    Fatism, Im not sure that is a name but you will know what i mean, does exist in the dance world. If you look around a dance floor, the very larger ladies are normally left standing around and get a sympathy dance now and then. For me, blind cheek and confidence gets around that and i have noticed a difference since taking off 48ibs.

    It does exist and there is nothing that can be done about it unfortunately.
    I agree with you Trouble. It certainly exists. I spend time sitting on the chairs waiting for a "charity dane"... I'm hoping it's 'cos I'm fat and not a bad dancer BUT, there are dancers out there who don't dance with you if you're not tall and skinny and glamerous. I KNOW I'm supposed to think "your loss" but I'm not good at that - I wanna dance!!! I don't give a ratsbahoochie what size a guy is, as long as he's not gonna hurt me - I'm up for a dance - why aren't more guys like that???

  18. #58
    Forum Bombshell - Our Queen! Lory's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by David Franklin View Post
    The above turns out to be pretty inaccurate. See Beautiful Dreamers - The Swan : People.com to see the same photos from a reality show in 2004.

    From Wiki (emphasis mine):
    Sorry, it just copied and pasted that bit form an email.

    Quote Originally Posted by Little Monkey View Post
    Really?? That makes me really sad, because I think you're truly gorgeous!
    I am.......

    its just hiden, somewhere under all the rubbishy bits

    Quote Originally Posted by Jay Jay View Post
    I should have the confidence to expose those pictures to the forum but don't think I'm brave enough...let them know me as 'thin' Jay Jay!
    I can't imagine you ever being big.. to me, you look the type thats always been slim. I'm quite shocked!

    Anyway, well done! another inspiration!

    Quote Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
    i have noticed a difference since taking off 48ibs.

    It does exist and there is nothing that can be done about it unfortunately.
    I think its a two fold thing.. if you don't feel good about yourself, you probably don't feel as worthy as you would otherwise and therefore you don't put yourself out there as much.

    So people might not ask you as much because of the body language your giving off.

    Its a downward spiral after that!
    MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mezzosoprano View Post
    I don't give a ratsbahoochie what size a guy is, as long as he's not gonna hurt me - I'm up for a dance - why aren't more guys like that???
    Judging by things I've heard, fat blokes get treated like rubbish, sometimes, too.

    This thread makes absolutely tragic reading - Lory & Cruella, you are amongst my icons of confident femininity, please don't tell me it's all a front!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory
    I think its a two fold thing.. if you don't feel good about yourself, you probably don't feel as worthy as you would otherwise and therefore you don't put yourself out there as much.

    So people might not ask you as much because of the body language your giving off.

    Its a downward spiral after that!
    I think it this is absolutely true.

  20. #60
    Senior Member rubyred's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    I think its a two fold thing.. if you don't feel good about yourself, you probably don't feel as worthy as you would otherwise and therefore you don't put yourself out there as much.

    So people might not ask you as much because of the body language your giving off.

    Its a downward spiral after that!
    Having been various sizes in my life, and I have to say I feel most happy when I have some meat on my bones, I love being curvey. Like Jay Jay I have some photos which will never see the light of day, and in the early 90s I worked hard to lose three and half stone. I have never put it all back on, but when I came back from New Zealand in March I had put quite a bit on and I decided to do something about it.

    Now age is something else that you have to deal with,and I sometimes think will people not want to dance with me because I don't tick the 20 - 30 box anymore. I know where you are coming from DD+ when you talk about not having the bottle to ask some people for a dance, and I have suffered a similar crisis where I felt in the past very intimidated to ask. I have changed my approach to me since.However, you have to learn to love yourself, and celebrate the good things you have. I am not naive to suggest this is easy and may take a life time to achieve.

    Lory what you are saying about body language is very true, if you appear downtrodden then you will be treated as such. Smile, hold your head up high, you have as much right to be there as any young, slim person. [er using you in the vernacular] It is hard work at times though!

    I find the sterographical images of the women portrayed in the photoshots could distort people's thinking around what women should aspire to look like. It is heartening to hear from the men who have replied on this thread that they do not perceive that image to be what they want, and I am of the opinion that is probably an opinion which may be in the majority.
    if you love the life you live then you'll get a lot more done

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