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Thread: There's hope for us all...

  1. #81
    Registered User Mezzosoprano's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Thanks for the kind words guys! It's tough though to be the one always asking for a dance 'cos the cute girls get picked first.... it's like gym class, standing there waiting....

    "heather, amanda, rosemary"...you look down the line, there's two of you left and....yes, they call out "Isobel" - nope, my name's not Isobel - last again!

    And I don't let that happen to me because at the base line, I just wanna dance - lots - I want to be dipped and swirly like a swizzel stick in a cup of coffee ( did I do too many of Amir's workshops and drop away into anaology world???!) - I want to be standing there at 4am in the morning having, with the rest of the mad people, followed Little Monkey (there's a fabby dancer!) in the strangest kind of congo dance Ayr has ever seen. And do you know what, that happens because I make it happen, because I ask others, not because they asked me. Because if I waited, I'd be on the bench for the whole game!

  2. #82
    Dickie Davies' love-child Cruella's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Mezzosoprano View Post
    I want to be standing there at 4am in the morning having, with the rest of the mad people, followed Little Monkey (there's a fabby dancer!) in the strangest kind of congo dance Ayr has ever seen. And do you know what, that happens because I make it happen, because I ask others, not because they asked me. Because if I waited, I'd be on the bench for the whole game!
    And who was it that dragged me up for that dance

  3. #83
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Even bigger i have always given off confidence, come get me looks and always felt sexy (mind you, big tits helps) and of course i feel sexier smaller but i dont think its anything to do with what you give off to other people as a fat bird.

    Its purely and simply fat bird, no thanks for some. Ruby/Lory im not talking about curvacious, im talking about fat birds. Curvacious, which is what i would say i am now, is definately a better look. Fat as i was at xmas and by fat i mean size 20 going into a 22 is not a popular choice for dance requests and i got asked a lot but nowhere near as much as now.

    Lets not dress it up or try to disguise the fact that it does not exist because it definately does and unfortunately it will never go away. Its the same for job interviews, helping in the street, chatting up, everything.

    Fat men for me i always love dancing with. They make me feel secure and can be some of the best dancers on the floor. I danced with a rather large gentleman at Blaze and goodness me, he was good. Firm but soft in his lead, musicality was lovely and i loved it.

    So, what do we do about it, lose weight or ask a lot.

  4. #84
    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Just a perspective from the other side - I've never been comfortable about my looks, but was fairly happy with my figure - petite but more or less in proportion. But since losing weight (not intentionally) I am no longer happy with my figure. And I can't forget about it cos people keep commenting. 'You've lost weight', 'you need to eat more' etc. People don't tend to comment on other people needing to lose weight, but do seem to think its Ok to comment on needing to gain it! Which has made me even more self conscious.

  5. #85
    Registered User clarabella's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    I hate the ‘weight’ subject!

    I was a right plumper, and being 6ft, this was not a good look. A little spray tan and I would be in a good position to be a double for the Honey Monster!!!

    Now that I have lost weight by having a very harsh diet, loads of exercise and changing my lifestyle in general, I am still not happy.

    I would be much happier being shorter. Being taller than the average makes you feel bigger in general regardless of weight. I suppose it is all down to self-confidence and self-perception.

    I love dancing with ‘Big’ men, by that I mean taller than me, wider than me, stronger than me and generally chunky!!

    Dips and drops, what a laugh… I’m too scared incase they would drop me literally!!!!!!!

    Gee we are never happy eh!

    x

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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by clarabella View Post
    ...........I love dancing with ‘Big’ men, by that I mean taller than me, wider than me, stronger than me and generally chunky!!

    Dips and drops, what a laugh… I’m too scared in case they would drop me literally!!!!!!!
    That's me up for yet another rejection.


    Clara,
    please excuse my stature and let me show you how a wee guy can dip a tall lass.
    I'm no expert, I can only do one dip competently, having abandoned a dozen or more that did not suit my weight/height.

  7. #87
    Registered User Isis's Avatar
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    My Mum for example, would worry that I was 'letting myself go' if I chose not to wear make-up for a day!
    If my mother sees me without make-up, her usual comment is "why haven't you got your make-up on? You look distinctly hellish!"

    followed with my favourite: "What have you done with your hair?" said with a pained expression on her face.


    And the final pièce de résistance: "if only you could lose a few pounds before *insert some family gathering here*"


    No need to spend a fortune in therapy working out where my appearance 'issues' might stem from. If I ever do anything like this to my own daughter, someone please shoot me!

  8. #88
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    Re: There's hope for us all...

    Quote Originally Posted by Isis View Post
    If my mother sees me without make-up, her usual comment is "why haven't you got your make-up on? You look distinctly hellish!"

    followed with my favourite: "What have you done with your hair?" said with a pained expression on her face.


    And the final pièce de résistance: "if only you could lose a few pounds before *insert some family gathering here*"


    No need to spend a fortune in therapy working out where my appearance 'issues' might stem from. If I ever do anything like this to my own daughter, someone please shoot me!
    I've often wondered why mothers feel free to say things like this to their children, when they wouldn't dream of saying it to their friends, for example. My theory is, that mothers see their children as being somehow still an extension of themselves, therefore, the normal rules of polite behaviour don't apply, and criticism of their own children often reflects their own insecurities about themselves.
    Whatever the reason, it doesn't make it any easier to cope with them. Many commiserations, Isis, and I'm sure you are ultra-supportive towards your own daughter.

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