Men having men - is it frowned upon?

[Sporty Jeff]

[quote=Trouble;465510]Well, went dancing last night, wont say where but was told that the organiser/runner of the venue is very against men dancing with men and would not allow her staff/venue helpers to do it.

As I was at the same venue as you,can I say I have never been told by the organiser/owner who I can dance with and who I can not. I do believe however that due to the gender balance (so many ladies sitting out) If I chose to dance with a guy it would not be appreciated by the organiser or other female dancers.
As far as I know I have never seen two men dancing together at this venue before, other than a freestyle.
As this thread proves most people do not have a problem with two men dancing together but this site generally has serious dancers on it, last night there were 16 new beginners and if you asked them what they thought of two men dancing together I am sure you would get a different response.
I

[Lee Bartholomew]

Am I wrong in stating that old school tango was practised by men dancing with other men prior to going to the brothels?

[Twirly]

As this thread proves most people do not have a problem with two men dancing together

Am not so sure... those of us who don't have a problem have said, but if someone did have a problem, would they really lay themselves open to the abuse they'd be likely to get?

Am I wrong in stating that old school tango was practised by men dancing with other men prior to going to the brothels?

Where's DJ when you need him?

[Lee Bartholomew]

Am not so sure... those of us who don't have a problem have said, but if someone did have a problem, would they really lay themselves open to the abuse they'd be likely to get?

This topic was covered in a thread a year or so back where a few people posted saying they thought it was wrong and they were disgusted by it. Cant find the thread.

Where's DJ when you need him?

Visiting a brothel?

[Twirlie Bird]

I do believe however that due to the gender balance (so many ladies sitting out) If I chose to dance with a guy it would not be appreciated by the organiser or other female dancers.

This argument annoys me. You pay your money so you should be able to dance with whoever you want. If there are numerous ladies over that doesn't mean that men shouldn't dance together. Those extra ladies will just have to get over themselves and wait a little longer for a dance.

As this thread proves most people do not have a problem with two men dancing together but this site generally has serious dancers on it, last night there were 16 new beginners and if you asked them what they thought of two men dancing together I am sure you would get a different response.

What a great opportunity to help those beginners understand then. There is nothing wrong with men dancing with men and that lesson should be taught very early on.

[Trouble]

As I was at the same venue as you,can I say I have never been told by the organiser/owner who I can dance with and who I can not. I do believe however that due to the gender balance (so many ladies sitting out) If I chose to dance with a guy it would not be appreciated by the organiser or other female dancers.
As far as I know I have never seen two men dancing together at this venue before, other than a freestyle.
As this thread proves most people do not have a problem with two men dancing together but this site generally has serious dancers on it, last night there were 16 new beginners and if you asked them what they thought of two men dancing together I am sure you would get a different response.
I

well seeing as you have named the venue now Jeff, lets be clear. I was told that the venue management were clearly against it. True or not.

This as i said to you at the time is not acceptable. This should not even be tolerated as a problem. If two men want to dance together, why should it be that the management would "GO MAD" as i was told last night.

It should not be frowned upon, by new or old dancers. Its just dancing at the end of the day and most men enjoy being led by men and women.

This could however be all hearsay as i did not hear it from the horses mouth.

But, interesting all the same.

[straycat]

I was told that the venue management were clearly against it. True or not.

Out of interest, were you told this by the venue management, by one of their team, or did it come from another party?

[Trouble]

Out of interest, were you told this by the venue management, by one of their team, or did it come from another party?

another party as i said above, not heard it direct from the horses mouth but no smoke without fire as they say.

[straycat]

another party as i said above

Sorry - missed that.

but no smoke without fire as they say.

Perhaps, but smoke is tricky stuff - it can drift a long way, and doesn't always come from the place you think it does.

I don't know anything about this particular rumor, or about whatever this venue is, but it's surely worth confirming an issue with them before hauling them in front of the forum firing squad?

[Trouble]

Sorry - missed that.



Perhaps, but smoke is tricky stuff - it can drift a long way, and doesn't always come from the place you think it does.

I don't know anything about this particular rumor, or about whatever this venue is, but it's surely worth confirming an issue with them before hauling them in front of the forum firing squad?

I have not hauled anybody. I didn't name and shame them at all and stil haven't. Im just interested to know if its frowned upon in general these days. Another member anounced the site, not me. Im innocent.

[Trouble]

Am I wrong in stating that old school tango was practised by men dancing with other men prior to going to the brothels?

Where is DJ when you need him

[onkar]

another party as i said above, not heard it direct from the horses mouth but no smoke without fire as they say.

Are you guys discussing Letchworth (I know Jeff goes there on some Mondays). If so I have danced with DTS there on numerous occasions. I know the venue manager very well and I am sure it would never be an issue.

I know of only one venue (St Neots) where men dancing with men, or men following female leads is frowned upon, but that only encourages me to do it more


Onkar

[Twirly]

Where is DJ when you need him

Is there an echo in here

[Trouble]

Are you guys discussing Letchworth (I know Jeff goes there on some Mondays). If so I have danced with DTS there on numerous occasions. I know the venue manager very well and I am sure it would never be an issue.

I know of only once venue where men dancing with men, or men following female leads is frowned upon, but that only encourages me to do it more


Onkar

yes i was surprised to hear such a thing. Still, its good to see such positive response about same sex dancing.

As i said, didn't hear it direct, this was all hearsay.

ooh your such a daredevil Onkar

[Trouble]

Is there an echo in here

is there an echo in here.

[killingtime]

Well, went dancing last night, wont say where but was told that the organiser/runner of the venue is very against men dancing with men and would not allow her staff/venue helpers to do it.

There are two points there. The first is being against men dancing with other men. They might be against it but if they aren't reacting to it then it's just an opinion.

The second part is forcing her staff down a particular route. As a taxi I wouldn't dance with the beginner men unless they asked me. I understand that some men who might have just started dancing would be put off by it and would understand the business sense in dictating those rules to your staff (even if I disagree with it).

I was also quite fed up that people feel they have the right to dictate who you can dance with at a venue.

should it be frowned upon. Same for woman and woman dancing?

I've seen that happen too. New woman wanted to lead (presumably so she could lead her partner) and was told by the venue manager that she should learn to follow first. It seems more crazy given the fact that other women were already leading in that class.

Has it got something to do with homophobia? By the way that is a question. Is the venue worried that the sight of men dancing together may give off an image they don't like? Pleeeesssseee

I'd agree that that is the primary reason.

If people don't feel comfortable about dancing with the same sex then just say no thank you when asked - simple.

I was turned down by a guy before who I assumed might be ok with it. I got over it .

I fear it can't really be anything else can it? The only "legitimate" excuse could possibly be that if men dance with men that there will be too many spare women. But I don't really buy that - they'd have to have a pretty severe shortfall of men and a lot of men dancing with each other to make it a big enough problem.

And just sometimes there are men over. Even when there isn't; if I get more than 2 dances with guys in a class evening it is unusual. Is it really affecting numbers much at all?

[Sporty Jeff]

well seeing as you have named the venue now Jeff, lets be clear. I was told that the venue management were clearly against it. True or not.

No I have not have I? all I said was I was at the same venue. I was told by a dancer that male and male dancing would not be welcome by the management not that I have been told not to dance with men which is completely different.

[Sporty Jeff]

Are you guys discussing Letchworth (I know Jeff goes there on some Mondays). If so I have danced with DTS there on numerous occasions. I know the venue manager very well and I am sure it would never be an issue.

I know of only one venue (St Neots) where men dancing with men, or men following female leads is frowned upon, but that only encourages me to do it more

Who teaches there?

[MartinHarper]

I've seen that happen too. New woman wanted to lead (presumably so she could lead her partner) and was told by the venue manager that she should learn to follow first. It seems more crazy given the fact that other women were already leading in that class.

It does raise the question of whether a venue would lose more potential customers by allowing same-sex dancing or by forbidding it.

[Trouble]

It does raise the question of whether a venue would lose more potential customers by allowing same-sex dancing or by forbidding it.

Does it. I dont think it would effect turnover at all. Its not as if men are doing this all the time or women come to think of it. Most women learn to dance lead so that they can dance with women due to the lack of men sometimes or lack of good dances ( i do find women can lead better than men at some venues)

women dancin with women has never been a problem, so would men dancing with men make customer losses..... mmm i dont think so.