Are Housewives Extinct?

**Lory** · 12th-March-2008, 12:26 PM

Originally Posted by Crazy Shark

I'd rather work then be a housewife.

I loved being a stay at home mum/housewife.

I used to watch all the stressed workers, juggling their time and on a constant guilt trip about spending enough quality time with their kids, keeping the housework under control and always complaining about not getting enough 'me time'.

It wasn't for me, thatg's for sure. But then again, I appreciate I was in a fortunate situation where, I didn't 'have' to work. I had a choice!

Also, i don't think i'd have coped very well emotionally. I wanted to be the one who spent time with my kids, the one who cooked for them, who took them to the park after school, the one who had the house where all their friends were welcome!
I've never thought sunbathing in the garden, while your kids play in the paddling pool or on the swings, was a hardship!

I loved staying to watch their swimming/ballet/gymnastics classes. While some mothers grabbed that time to run to the shops.. I'd get loads who'd come to ask me how 'their' kids were getting on?

I couldn't have bared to hear about it second hand!

I got to go on all the school trips and was very involved with the school PTA. I helped with reading, cooking and art and never once felt what I was doing wasn't important or worthwhile!

My kids have left school now and I think I 'did a good job'!

**Martin** · 12th-March-2008, 02:57 PM

Originally Posted by Little Miss

Housewifes or working Mums, House Fathers or Working Fathers we are all bloody fantastic, as bringing up children is THE hardest challenge a human being will ever face and to do a good job of it is an enormous achievement - IMHO!

Originally Posted by Twirlie Bird

It needs to be justified?

I'm proud to be a housewife.

A big

Originally Posted by stewart38

Nothing wrong with wanting more. Most people ‘aim’ to have at least a life style they grew up in

Nothing "wrong" at all, as long as you realise it is your choice.
And if that is your 'aim', and both parents go out to work to achieve this, whilst also having kids... Well that is also not "wrong", it is a choice that was made, not something that "had" to be done.

If I ever had another kid, I would certainly put my hand up to be a house father, should my partner want to go out to work.
My personal choice would be that one of us is the main full time carer, and I have a lot of respect for those whose occupation is to care for thier children and partner.

**Easily Led** · 12th-March-2008, 05:20 PM

From my experience of working (part-time) with both young children and young adults I think children (and even teenagers) would would rather have more time with either of their parents than more things or holidays

. Of course it is lovely if you can have everything but I cannot understand why "society", led by the government, seem to think it preferable for a woman (or man) to go out to work so she/he can pay for someone else to look after his/her children/ house rather than do it his/herself. I suppose there is some wider economic argument for this but is it energy efficient? In a double income household often two cars are needed and this combined with travel, childcare and other work related expenses can make it difficult to see exactly who is benefiting some of the time.

Perhaps when a government really believes in life/work balance and the value of taking proper care of children the housewife will make a comeback

!

**Will** · 12th-March-2008, 05:23 PM

Originally Posted by Isis

I was having a conversation with my daughter this morning about the jobs people do, which led to this:

Junior - "What is a housewife?"

Me - "Someone who looks after their home and children rather than going out to work."

Junior - "Like in the olden days?"

It got me thinking. Are housewives a dying breed? Will they be extinct by the time she grows up? If so, is this a Good Thing or a Bad Thing? Discuss.

I'm married to a housewife (or Serving Wife as I prefer to call her

).

I don't like the word "wench". It's disrespectful

She gave up work to have kids and has no intention of going back anytime soon. She will however ramp up the dance work she does again as time goes by.

**Easily Led** · 12th-March-2008, 06:02 PM

BTW I also know women who work full time but appear to be perfect housekeepers and mothers too. How do they do that

? I am more of a houseslut

! (My excuse is that my part-time job is very time-consuming!)

**Twirly** · 12th-March-2008, 06:14 PM

Originally Posted by Easily Led

Of course it is lovely if you can have everything but I cannot understand why "society", led by the government, seem to think it preferable for a woman (or man) to go out to work so she/he can pay for someone else to look after his/her children/ house rather than do it his/herself.

Some people simply want to work, and not be at home all day with their children. They may love their careers as well as their families, and get great satisfaction from them. They may be bored at home and wind up depressed and unfulfilled. This could also be very bad for the children. Not everyone can fit into the same pattern, even if the “ideal”, as some people see it, is for there to be a stay-at-home parent (which could be either father or mother).

Originally Posted by Easily Led

Perhaps when a government really believes in life/work balance and the value of taking proper care of children the housewife will make a comeback

!

I sort of agree, although I would like to see both parents have the option of working suitable hours to fit around childcare arrangements (which could be both parents working part-time/from home so there is no paid-for childcare). There are plenty of fathers out there whom I’m sure would dearly love to drop work for one or two days a week to spend more time with their children. But it’s frowned upon, particularly for men. There is, I believe, also some evidence to show that children who go to good nursery schools learn faster and have better social skills than children who have stay-at-home parents. So it’s not all bad.

There are also disadvantages for the parent who decides to stay at home full-time should they suddenly find themselves as a solo parent. It’s mostly affected women, but if you’ve taken 10 years out of the labour market to raise your family, chances are that your skills will be out-of-date and you’ll struggle to find a job, let alone a fulfilling one. So should your marriage break down, your partner die or become disabled and you suddenly have to become the major earner in the household, you’ll find it extremely difficult. And fearing this position has left many women trapped in unhappy and abusive relationships because they feel they have no choices. This was what stimulated, in large part, the feminist movement of the 1970’s.

People need choices and respect. That could be to stay at home and look after their children be they male or female, or to work part or full-time.

**sidney** · 13th-March-2008, 12:03 PM

I was a stay at home mum till the children went to school, and then only worked school hours till they were teenagers, and I loved it being there for them and having proper cooked dinners etc and they have said to me since it was always nice knowing mum was there, that after I had my time out travelling, so when I got back I ended up getting paid for being a nanny to other children being my first posting being in Surrey for one family living the high life with swimming pool, new car, own flat working only four days per week till the mum decided she wanted my life and packed in her career and the next mum who was single did the same so my present job I have been with the same family for six years now still enjoy it, the only difference is they are at school now so I work part time in another job but they retain me still for the holidays so I have the best of two worlds getting paid for doing what I like.

**Little Monkey** · 13th-March-2008, 02:44 PM

My ideal situation would probably be to be a housewife and combine it with being an artist. It would be fantastic to have a house with a studio in the garden, and have time and flexibility to be there for the kids whenever they needed me, but still have a career as a ceramic artist.

Now all I need to do is to find myself a rich man who's stupid enough to want to marry me and have kids with me.....

**dep** · 13th-March-2008, 03:08 PM

Originally Posted by Little Monkey

Now all I need to do is to find myself a rich man who's stupid enough to want to marry me and have kids with me.....

that's not stupid, that's love.
big

**Little Monkey** · 13th-March-2008, 03:14 PM

Originally Posted by dep

that's not stupid, that's love.
big

Well, someone who's stupid enough to love me, then

**Yliander** · 13th-March-2008, 03:18 PM

Originally Posted by Little Monkey

Now all I need to do is to find myself a rich man who's clever enough to want to marry me and have kids with me.....

so very true!

**Trouble** · 13th-March-2008, 04:07 PM

I had a year off when i had my second son, well actually it was 7 months but felt like a year.

Staying at home is so much harder than working IMO. I have great respect for women and men who do this full time because having done both, going to work is so much simpler.

**stewart38** · 13th-March-2008, 04:19 PM

Originally Posted by Trouble

Staying at home is so much harder than working IMO. I have great respect for women and men who do this full time because having done both, going to work is so much simpler.

Going to work is hard (actually working when your at work I guess is harder still but...)

Take my niece and nephew , 2 hrs of them and its thank you see you in 3 months , run along now

**Easily Led** · 15th-March-2008, 01:53 PM

I often think that one of the hardest things about work is the actual getting there and back - not to mention e-mails, pointless paperwork etc. I also fantasize sometimes about having a "housewife" myself - I would love to come home to a clean house with the washing and ironing done and maybe a few homemade goodiies! Such services could only otherwise be obtained by the very wealthy I think - like a sexier version of Jeeves?

Note to self - should spend more time dusting and less on the forum

!

**Freudian Hips** · 17th-March-2008, 03:58 PM