Your wasting my time, enjoy dancing by yourself, see ya!

[CheesyRobMan]

Ring ring
Ring ring
Ring ring

*picks up the cluephone*

It's for you.

[dep]

After a 30 seconds I said , "god your bloody awful , and after a minute I said "try and get a good concrete mix for those cracks on your face" after that I walk of the dance floor as the music carried on playiing.I think she was shaking ?

Of course I regret my decison It will live with me for ever

I was expecting a good ending.
You deserve to be barred for life.

[bigdjiver]

I remember there use to be a older lady of around 65/70 who use to come regularly to my local dance class

She was a lovely lady who had a bit of difficulty walking I seem to remember ......After a 30 seconds I said , "god your bloody awful , and after a minute I said "try and get a good concrete mix for those cracks on your face" after that I walk of the dance floor as the music carried on playiing.I think she was shaking ?...

I think I know her, I was hoping it would be a short track so there was less chance of her keeling over on me.

Anyway a bit of TLC cheered her up no end, and she has changed her will in my favour.

Anybody got any recommendations for really long and fast tracks that I can request?

[stewart38]

I was expecting a good ending.
You deserve to be barred for life.

A few weeks later she bumped into me at a local supermarket (her eyes were not good)

She told me that I was a very rude man

Clearly i was ashamed and taken back

Never good with words I didnt know what to say, so I blurted out

will you marry me ??

She said I love to and we walked of into the sun set hand in hand

She may now be 69 but via IVF we are due a lovely set of triplets

[straycat]

Of course I regret my decison It will live with me for ever

Well - I suppose that wasn't quite as bad as the next guy, who just stole her white stick so he could use it to beat away unwanted dance requests...

[Easily Led]

Is a taste for sick jokes mainly a male thing? It is one of the questions you get asked about when being measured on the autistic spectrum - "Do you find cruel/black humour funny?". I guess it is one of the things that shows a general lack of empathy. Also I wonder if men find words less hurtful than females - girls are renowned for their verbal cruelty whereas males just tend to just hit each other and get it over with?

Now where is that white stick? I'm sure I left it somewhere ............

[Astro]

The song ended, I was free, needless to say her friend got the cold shoulder by association.

I don't lump people together by association.

I could be sitting talking to someone I've only just met.

Sometimes one friend is a good dancer and the other is a newbie brought along by his/her friend.

Just wondering if anyone else experienced this and took the decision enough is enough and just walked off and abandoned someone half way through a dance and did you in turn regret that decision?

No way. The few times I've walked off was for my own phyical safety.

I'm not used to being manhandled by blokes, and don't see why I should put up with it on a dancefloor.

I think new girls should be told it's OK to abandon a dance if they ever fear for their safety.

Like being thrown bodily into the next couple,

dropped with no warning to 2 inches from the floor near everyone's feet,

having your arm wrenched out of it's socket,

or your fingers and hands squeezed like a lemon and not being able to break hold on painful turns,


I indicate to the bloke that it's "not on". If they do it again I'm off. And they know why.

Hopefully it will stop them doing the same thing to the next girl. If we just put up with it, they will think what they are doing is OK.

[DundeeDancer]

I indicate to the bloke that it's "not on". If they do it again I'm off. And they know why.

Hopefully it will stop them doing the same thing to the next girl. If we just put up with it, they will think what they are doing is OK.

Quite right Astro, I totally agree. You get my for sticking up for your own basic human rights.

I guess experience helps in knowing whats on and whats not and how to handle different situations.

If I had a Putney type situation again then I think I would be more prepared to handle it.

I would probably now go into simple arm jive routine and then just ask a bunch of questions like: Is everything OK? You look like you want to be someplace else?

...smart arse answer back...

OK then maybe best we just call it a day then...

At least if I went through a routine like that then I won't feel any guilt about walking away from that dance, I won't feel like I was making a mistake.

Luckily though these rotten dances only seem to be 1 in a 100 if that, so no point dwelling over them for to long.

DD

[stewart38]

Is a taste for sick jokes mainly a male thing? It is one of the questions you get asked about when being measured on the autistic spectrum - "Do you find cruel/black humour funny?". I guess it is one of the things that shows a general lack of empathy. Also I wonder if men find words less hurtful than females -

No from your profile you seem to be doing pretty well

-----------
lying in wait for unwary small boys
---------

[Mini Mac]

i unfortunaetly got grabbed by a very small...extreamely dramatic chap last time i was on the boat in london....

When i danced with him he made me stand there through out the whole song while he wiggled his hips and flicked his hair like he was the next ricky martin!

He's at every weekender, every competition and he thinks hes so good

but good to me is not ripping your shirt open halfway through a dance and posing....

i do like to have a bit of fun by myself like fletch and jamie thats the way i am, we have a little boogie fletch with her disco style, jamie with his spins, me with my spins and funny expressions...

but i would never make somebody stand there for an hour like a lemon

now if he approaches me i automatically reach for my drink or walk off

i have seen many girl's experience a dance with this unpleasant man

zara, twirlie bird...

he is just too over the top and i wish he would stop!!!

[Double Trouble]

ripping your shirt open halfway through a dance and posing....

he is just too over the top and i wish he would stop!!!

I know it's not easy to be honest with people in this situation, but if I were you I would simply say, next time he asks you "You're wasting my time, enjoy dancing by yourself".


Or...actually.....if I'm being honest "Why don't you fcuk off and go stick your head down the bog...oh and by the way, I've seen better chests on a flea bitten pigeon"

Summink like that should do the trick, innit.

[Gav]

"Why don't you fcuk off and go stick your head down the bog...oh and by the way, I've seen better chests on a flea bitten pigeon"

You know all the best chat-up lines.

[Astro]

Quite right Astro, I totally agree. You get my for sticking up for your own basic human rights.

I guess experience helps in knowing whats on and whats not and how to handle different situations.

Yeah, I've been taken for a mug too often when I was inexperienced.

The sort of experience you had is nothing really and I wouldn't have walked off for that. You weren't in any physical pain or danger.

I used to put up with dangerous dances in my first year. Once you know who to avoid it's fine. But even today I get caught out by a stranger.

That's why the culture of never refusing a dance hyped by the organisers is wrong.

Some of these women are like lambs to the slaughter. I'd bet a lot don't return either. But then it doesn't really matter does it, as there are too many women anyway.

I'm just giving my opinions from a female follow's point of view, I know men have problems too, but at least the leads can step back if it's hurting, whereas the follows can't.

[nebula]

At a recent weekender, in a middle of dance, my partner held my hands in what was undoubtedly a drop position - the only problem was I didn't know what he was intending to do. As we are constantly drummed on "not throwing your weight into a drop" I patiently waited for the next signal. It never came, and the man, now very annoyed, said "lambada drop". Now what the hell is lambada drop - i didn't know then - and I still don't know now. The man tutted, stopped paying attention to me completely, and started scouring the crowd for his next partner. Found one, sitting on stage, and I was "furniture", as far as he was concerned. If it weren't the end of the song - I swear, would have walked him to the girl, handed him over and said "enjoy". Thankfully, there was only half-a-minute of torture left, so I smiled and left it at that. Surprisingly, had a fab dance with him (with a fab drop) on the very last night... Go figure...

[MartinHarper]

At least the leads can step back if it's hurting, whereas the follows can't.

I'm not entirely clear what you're saying here. Could you elaborate?

[martingold]

Surprisingly, had a fab dance with him (with a fab drop) on the very last night... Go figure...

you danced with him again??????

[Twirly]

I'm not entirely clear what you're saying here. Could you elaborate?

What I take Astro to mean is that the lead controls the dance - follows, unless they know how to sabotage effectively (and are willing/able to do so), have very little control over how the dance progresses. So if they are in pain/uncomfortable with what a lead is doing, there is little they can do about it. If a follow is doing the same to a lead, he can chose which moves to do and hopefully mitgate the situation.

For example, there is one guy I've danced with a couple of times (whom I now avoid) who has this habit of putting me into a first move, and keeping me in the closed in position. He's quite a bit shorter than me, so winds up with his head almost in my cleavage. Now I'm used to this happening with lots of leads but it's momentary, before you're turned out. This guy pulls me in, really close, then holds me there unmoving. Not even moving to the beat of the song on the spot. And if I try and move out (effectively back-leading/sabotaging), then he stiffens his arms and forcibly holds me there for a couple of seconds. It's makes me feel really uncomfortable! I saw him dancing with someone I know at Hammersmith a few weeks back, so afterwards went and asked her how she found him - he did the same with her, and she'd heard other reports of this behaviour too. So I've got him down as a bit of a creep now, and avoid him.

[dep]

This guy pulls me in, really close, then holds me there...................... then he stiffens his arms and forcibly holds me there for a couple of seconds. It's makes me feel really uncomfortable!

this situation spells out my need for clarification on Sleaze and how I can avoid this "dirty old man" syndrome. I have been practicing the Penguin Waddle with many well known partners but not everyone and certainly not strangers. I have taken on board the thought that it can be led with a "body gap" and use the arm frame to control the move, but this is definitely more difficult to lead than my earlier close up attempts.
I would be very disappointed if any of my partners went behind my back and discussed how uncomfortable they were in my Penguin.
I consider it is my partner's duty to inform me if she is not happy with a series of moves/positions. They have the right to complain to me in person. Then if I choose to ignore their advice to take it further.
Please speak up. I at least expect it.

[Mini Mac]

[quote=dep;461019]this situation spells out my need for clarification on Sleaze and how I can avoid this "dirty old man" syndrome. I have been practicing the Penguin Waddle with many well known partners but not everyone and certainly not strangers. I have taken on board the thought that it can be led with a "body gap" and use the arm frame to control the move, but this is definitely more difficult to lead than my earlier close up attempts.

Is the penguin waddle the one where you spin with your partner round..it can feel a bit funny...can't it? I learnt the super fast one the other night.

[dep]

Is the penguin waddle the one where you spin with your partner round..it can feel a bit funny...can't it? I learnt the super fast one the other night.

I do the very slow version. Not skilled enough to try the fast. I've been taught this about six times and only in the last "Obie" (=slow) version did it finally sink in.
Partners facing each other, slight offset to the left and moving weight left to right and back again, the unweighted right foot sliding back and the unweighted left foot sliding forward to keep the turn moving.

Does the unweighted "middle foot" (the two rights that are nearly touching) need to move at all, or just rotate?