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Thread: Dance Failure

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    Dance Failure

    Does anyone else have evenings where no matter what they do the dancing just doesn't work? When despite all the effort there's no connection, the moves are random and unmusical, and the execution is messy and results in confusion and stopping half way through... or is it just me?

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    Registered User Easily Led's Avatar
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    Re: Dance Failure

    I have been dancing for about 2 and a half years and sometimes I can't even do beginner moves or spins! Sometimes it is the music, sometimes I am too busy thinking about something else and sometimes it is the drink (so I don't do that now!)(mostly).

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    Commercial Operator StokeBloke's Avatar
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    Cool Re: Dance Failure

    It's not just you. We all go through a dry spell from time to time. Dancing is quite a creative little past time and I think to do it well your mind needs to be able to tune out of everyday life. If you have something that's going on 'in the real world' that is stressful, it may be playing on your mind and interrupting your Mojo.

    Worrying about it perversely makes it worse I have found.

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    Re: Dance Failure

    I do that.

    It's strange for me. It usually happens when I'm stressed. But sometimes when I'm stressed, I have a great night. Everything clicks and I dance as well as I'm capable of dancing. Other nights, I don't feel so bad, but nothing works on the dancefloor. Sometimes, a good dance with someone "fixes" everything; sometimes a bad dance triggers bad dancing for the rest of the night. Sometimes I can only dance well with one or two people; others I have a night where I can dance brilliantly (for me) with anyone.

    I've given up trying to predict it, but I do respect the fact that sometimes, dancing just doesn't work.

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    Formerly known as DavidJames David Bailey's Avatar
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    Re: Dance Failure

    Quote Originally Posted by CheesyRobMan View Post
    or is it just me?
    It's you

    No, honestly, everyone has this, in all dance forms. The only way to get through it is to just keep dancing through it.

    If it's any consolation, after a while, your definition of "rubbish" tends to improve - so you can have a night where you think you're dancing like a dead three-legged donkey, and everyone else thinks you were great.

    Unfortunately, saying "don't worry" or "relax" doesn't help, as relaxing-on-demand is very tricky, most people can only relax when they're, well, relaxed. It's a bit like insommnia in that way I think - worrying about it tends to make it worse.

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    Re: Dance Failure

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    It's you

    If it's any consolation, after a while, your definition of "rubbish" tends to improve - so you can have a night where you think you're dancing like a dead three-legged donkey, and everyone else thinks you were great.
    I already dance like a donkey obviously so my off nights phrase is dancing like a lemon - same effect though! I agree, as time goes by (5 1/2 years now ) we hopefully still dance better than we used to but our own expectations increase so we'll still fail to meet them at times - but hopefully not so partners notice too much??

    No point in worrying, I find I'm worse when I'm tired so I try & get more sleep these days - no more weeknight dancing for me but I do feel better for it. Then I'll need another excuse !

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    Re: Dance Failure

    Quote Originally Posted by eeyore View Post
    we hopefully still dance better than we used to but our own expectations increase so we'll still fail to meet them at times
    I think that's probably it, last night felt rubbish after a really good night on Weds where everything seemed to flow quite nicely. Need more caffeine...

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    Re: Dance Failure

    Having a head cold affects one's ability to think.
    This will result in slower decision making and errors in timing, interpretation, connection, reading the feedback from your partner, all making for a crap dance.

    Going to a pastime where the cold effect can be measured. Competition driving against the clock shows this up clearly. Half a second off the pace for no apparent reason other than a cold.

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    Registered User martingold's Avatar
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    Re: Dance Failure

    with me its when i have danced too many times in one week ie if we have been out on a couple of busks a couple of lessons then a couple of freestyles my dancing goes right down the pan
    Not that i am a great dancer in the first place i just find i enjoy it less

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    Re: Dance Failure

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    No, honestly, everyone has this, in all dance forms. The only way to get through it is to just keep dancing through it.

    If it's any consolation, after a while, your definition of "rubbish" tends to improve - so you can have a night where you think you're dancing like a dead three-legged donkey, and everyone else thinks you were great.


    On an off night these days I can still dance much better than I did a couple of years ago.
    Let your mind go and your body will follow. – Steve Martin, LA Story

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    Re: Dance Failure

    Quote Originally Posted by CheesyRobMan View Post
    Does anyone else have evenings where no matter what they do the dancing just doesn't work? When despite all the effort there's no connection, the moves are random and unmusical, and the execution is messy and results in confusion and stopping half way through... or is it just me?
    It usually conincides with Alcohol intake...

    (well at least for me)

    Or more often if I have been dancing too much recently. My body just gives in.

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    Registered User Lynn's Avatar
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    Re: Dance Failure

    Quote Originally Posted by CheesyRobMan View Post
    Does anyone else have evenings where no matter what they do the dancing just doesn't work? When despite all the effort there's no connection, the moves are random and unmusical, and the execution is messy and results in confusion and stopping half way through... or is it just me?
    Yep and yep. Worst ever was one afternoon on a weekend event where nothing was working. I had to actually give up on a dance (with an understanding forumite) which I don't do! Very discouraging but I had some nice dances later that evening. A few good dances help change things.

    Sometimes the best thing is just to give up and call it a night as the more you think about it and the harder you try, the worse it seems to get.

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    Registered User Easily Led's Avatar
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    Re: Dance Failure

    I am feeling like a total dance failure at the moment. I have had 3 disappointing class nights in a row. This is mainly because of gender imbalance as I end up dancing principally with beginners because all the good dancers are taken. Recently I tried a new class thinking that might improve things. however, although the "staff" were charming and helpful, the only man I vaguely recognized was someone who had refused me before. During the intermediate class things seemed to be going quite well except for two men who did not smile or even look at me except for a dismissive glance whilst informing me of the errors I was making. This made me feel so s*** that I did not dare to ask anyone all night and felt like all the men who asked me did so out of pity (although I thought I did have some very good dances - but then what do I know). Shouldn't criticism be softened to some extent - or if you can't find anything nice to say shouldn't you just shut up?

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    Re: Dance Failure

    For some reason I'm feeling I should just give up this dancing lark for good. I just don't seem to get the energy to put effort into it anymore. I think at least a break is needed...

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    Re: Dance Failure

    Quote Originally Posted by Easily Led View Post
    During the intermediate class things seemed to be going quite well except for two men who did not smile or even look at me except for a dismissive glance whilst informing me of the errors I was making. This made me feel so s*** that I did not dare to ask anyone all night and felt like all the men who asked me did so out of pity (although I thought I did have some very good dances - but then what do I know). Shouldn't criticism be softened to some extent - or if you can't find anything nice to say shouldn't you just shut up?
    No one deserves that sort of treatment - come over to Belfast and I'll dance with you! Gender balance can be really frustrating though if it's not balanced at all. And I think the worst thing you can do to your dance partner in terms of contact is not to make any - I really don't like dancing with people who don't even look at you, won't smile, backlead themselves through moves then tell you you're doing it wrong... Thankfully it doesn't happen often!

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    Re: Dance Failure

    Quote Originally Posted by CheesyRobMan View Post
    backlead themselves through moves then tell you you're doing it wrong...
    I feel your pain.

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    Re: Dance Failure

    Let me tell you something little britches: If you act like that bee acts, uh uh, you're working too hard.
    And don't spend your time lookin' around, for something you want that can't be found.
    When you find out you can live without it and go along not thinkin' about it...
    In general, the better you become, the better dances you will have, the higher your expectations of dances will be, the fewer dances you will find of "exceptional quality" and most of the rest become "average". It's just that your perspective has shifted - what you now think on as "average", you used to think on as "exceptional".

    I find it helpful to look back on how I was dancing a while ago and compare it to how I am dancing now.

    If I feel like I'm heading towards a dip in my dancing I start dancing the basic moves and find one that I know a variation from that requires specific timing/leading. Concentrating on this one I work it all out and try to execute it perfectly, within the music, without my partner noticing any disruption. If it works, I'm back on track and have avoided that downward slope into a "rubbish night". If not, I try with another move.

    With regard to other people bringing you down - they can only have as much influence over you as you let them. If they want to back-lead me through an entire song - so be it. I know how to prevent them from hurting me or themselves, I am 'strong' enough to impose my will if I need to, and it's only one song. If they come off smiling, then I'm smiling.

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    Re: Dance Failure

    You're absolutely right, good manners cost nothing!

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    Re: Dance Failure

    Quote Originally Posted by Easily Led View Post
    I am feeling like a total dance failure at the moment. Shouldn't criticism be softened to some extent - or if you can't find anything nice to say shouldn't you just shut up?
    have a hug or two.

    Dont let anybody criticise you. Its not there place and yes it should be done, if ever, in a nice polite way as to not make the other person feel bad. I would like to point out that people that criticised me in the early days have since become people i cant stand dancing with as they are generally rubbish. They dont think they are of course but trust me, they are.

    People who, dont look at you, dont smile, dont make you feel special when your dancing with them should be avoided at all costs. Its not your dancing that is ruining it, its them.

    I know its hard but ignore them and keep on going. xxx

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