is it really 'their loss/someone else's gain' when someone is refused?

[rubyred]

I agree with Fletch that it is the way people are refused that matters, there is no need to cause the person to feel inadequate by being rude and inconsiderate. I recall all the people who were lovely to me when I started dancing and how my confidence grew because of them. Having manners and respect costs nothing .

[Astro]

I agree with Fletch that it is the way people are refused that matters, there is no need to cause the person to feel inadequate by being rude and inconsiderate. I recall all the people who were lovely to me when I started dancing and how my confidence grew because of them. Having manners and respect costs nothing .

"manners cost nothing"

"people will think you were brought up in a barn"

2 popular Yorkshire sayings.

[Astro]

And he's better than most blokes I see, even some who have been at it for years.

some young starter include

Tom Baker

Alex Faulkner

Adam ...of 'Adam and Tas'

Please remember that the likes of Tom and Adam would never have been so good without the opportunites that were given to them by allowing them to start dancing at a young age. Please remember the kids of today will be the life blood of the modern jive in years to come

It's so much easier to learn as a child, in any sphere.

I did ballet and tap as a child, only for about 6 months, but who knows what impact it has on my dancing today?

Then the youth club disco at 12.

My son has a perfect natural quarter to three turn out, and I never even knew there was such a thing till recently, or that he had it.

He's never danced. Too busy with his boxing, but he says he will go when he has time.

[fletch]

I think Feltch is making the point we all have the right to refuse but its the way its done

Fletch has refused me a few times but very nicely

but like a bad penny, I keep coming back

Then the youth club disco at 12.

.

oooo just reminiscing, my youth club disco's, when I first started to mingle with the stars, Roger Taylor (DuranDuran) played drums in a group called the Sent Organs, and Steven Tin Tin Duffy was jigging around to the tunes. oooo those were the days, how old am I on Saturday

[Caz]

because of the way he treated me and Caz that night I did start to ask around, I do have some back ground on him but that would just be gossip and the forum isn't the place.

I was dumb struck, I just though what was all that about ? why did he talk to me like that infront of all his friends, and to be told he had just done it to Caz I thought NO I can't stand by and let this keep happening.

You know Gerry I told you I was hoping he wouldn't be at the Burton Ball cos there would be quite a few of us there, and I didn't wan't him thinking i'm only brave when i'v got my gang with me I wen't to Marc's Garvey on my own meeting one friend there, and I was very carefull of the words I used when I spoke to him, afterall I wan't him to stop doing it, not get some sick satisfaction knowing what he is doing is working.

You might gather reading between the lines I have got rather hot under the collor at some of the comment that have been made, in particular, that I have been behaving brutishly, with a gang, waging a vendetta or witch hunt against some poor bloke, this could not be further from the truth.

one of my 10 commandments, say what you need to say, do it in the kindest way possible, do not humiliate the other person, remember no matter what they have done to you they still have feelings two wrongs don't make a right, give them the opportunity to put it right, everyone is worth a second chance its what you do with your second chances that counts, right will shine trough.


Nothing has changed as far as i'm concerned, and I stand by all my actions, I see not reason to change, I can look myself in the mirror each moring and i'm trying to make the best choises, this includes 'not turning a blind eye'

He did refuse me b4 Fletch that night.. I didn't even mention it to Fletch until I found out he had refused her! I agree that it is the way in which a dance is refused is more hurtful that the refusal itself... i.e. I have been refused for reasons which are plausible, drink, too hot etc etc but this guy just looked me up and down and said "no" in a condescending / laughable tone. That hurt more than the actual no. But me being me.. I asked a guy on the next table... NEXT!!!

Don't change Fletch! You are you and we love you for it You stick up for those who, for whatever reason, are unable to stick up for themselves xx

[fletch]

Don't change Fletch! You are you and we love you for it You stick up for those who, for whatever reason, are unable to stick up for themselves xx

I have been questioning myself since the weekend over this tread, my strength is speaking out and fighting for the under dog, but dose this make a bully or as bad as the bullies?

[Caz]

I have been questioning myself since the weekend over this tread, my strength is speaking out and fighting for the under dog, but dose this make a bully or as bad as the bullies?

U r not a bully.. You stick up for those that feel unable to fight their own corner so to speak. A bully, in my definition, is someone who puts other people down because they feel "not good enough" themselves.. i.e they put themselves down because they are down on themselves, to make themselves feel better

[frodo]

...one random man and I was straight on it, I don't see this as a good reason to send the children who so passionate and keen on dance ...

I'm not sure you understood the argument you illustrated. It wasn't that the children weren't protected.

It was the wide footprint of allowing children.


It could be argued children at a venue can be kept closely supervised at all times, and be little trouble to anyone.

However rather than that approach you look to have chosen to warn off someone who in your words 'did nothing wrong'.


Telling someone they were considered a threat to children (because of their dancing) seems vastly worse than being refused a dance.


I think most people would go to considerable lengths to avoid that.

In particular there is a whole lot of acting in dancing, which children wouldn't be expected to appreciate.

[sidney]

Oh I'm so sorry JC. I did think I remembered you being upset that night cos some mate of Fletch's (Paul? guy with v little hair?) turned you down quite rudely and then proceeded to dance with a v young pretty thing right in front of you to the same track! I must have remembered wrong and it must not have been you. Sorry again.

No that was me, and it was at Rugby, but I do know now who the TWAT is, I asked him to dance way back in Notts to a fast swing as I had been watching dance with his girlfriend and throught not bad, and yes he looked me up and down for it seem for a long minute but said yes and started off with no looks but by the end he had a smile and it was a good dance, and someone said to me straight after he hardly ever dances with anyone but his girlfriend, so I must have caught in a rare moment of when he was feeling nice

[fletch]

However rather than that approach you look to have chosen to warn off someone who in your words 'did nothing wrong'.


Telling someone they were considered a threat to children (because of their dancing) seems vastly worse than being refused a dance.


I think most people would go to considerable lengths to avoid that.

.

perhaps it might help if I explain a bit further.

This guy has been inapropriate to me at Utopia Twickenham smome time ago, he followd me out to my car while I was putting things in it, grabed me and asked for a kiss I carn't belive anyone in to room didn't know I was with Gerry, infact having spoken to him at Blackpool and questioned him further about that night he told me he did know, he just a chancer.

I let it pass and started dancing with him again at camber Storm but told him not to ask for a kiss and smiled hoping altough he would know I wasn't impressed we could move on. me giving him a second chance

This man is animated with his dancing and can be up close and personal, so although bumping and grinding is perfectly fine for most women, its not really a move that sit conformable with my friends 12 year old, and that's why I told him his dance style wasn't suitable for the very young. BTW I also told him that holding his hand while he had sopping wet gloves on wasn't a pleasant experience, his reply was 'he sweats a lot and he can use them as a towel' problem is he doesn't take them off when using the urinals in the gents loo.

this might give you the understanding that yes MOST people might feel like this, he falls in the bit out side the MOST

No that was me, and it was at Rugby, but I do know now who the TWAT is, I asked him to dance way back in Notts to a fast swing as I had been watching dance with his girlfriend and throught not bad, and yes he looked me up and down for it seem for a long minute but said yes and started off with no looks but by the end he had a smile and it was a good dance, and someone said to me straight after he hardly ever dances with anyone but his girlfriend, so I must have caught in a rare moment of when he was feeling nice

[Lory]

holding his hand while he had sopping wet gloves on wasn't a pleasant experience, his reply was 'he sweats a lot and he can use them as a towel' problem is he doesn't take them off when using the urinals in the gents loo.

Nice

[stewart38]

perhaps it might help if I explain a bit further.

This guy has been inapropriate to me at Utopia Twickenham smome time ago, he followd me out to my car while I was putting things in it, grabed me and asked for a kiss I carn't belive anyone in to room didn't know I was with Gerry, infact having spoken to him at Blackpool and questioned him further about that night he told me he did know, he just a chancer.

I let it pass and started dancing with him again at camber Storm but told him not to ask for a kiss and smiled hoping altough he would know I wasn't impressed we could move on. me giving him a second chance

This man is animated with his dancing and can be up close and personal, so although bumping and grinding is perfectly fine for most women, its not really a move that sit conformable with my friends 12 year old, and that's why I told him his dance style wasn't suitable for the very young. BTW I also told him that holding his hand while he had sopping wet gloves on wasn't a pleasant experience, his reply was 'he sweats a lot and he can use them as a towel' problem is he doesn't take them off when using the urinals in the gents loo.

this might give you the understanding that yes MOST people might feel like this, he falls in the bit out side the MOST

I think that helps clarify the reason

If someone came up to me and said out of the blue, ive seen you dancing please dont ask my kids , thats very different to the above

Clealry if i was dancing like a perv thats a different matter but if dancing normal thats something else

ps Id only ever dance with children (under 25) if their parents ask me to

[Steven666]

ps Id only ever dance with children (under 25) if their parents ask me to

24yos are kids???

[fletch]

Nice

do you dance with him Lory

[Lory]

do you dance with him Lory

I have no idea who your talking about to be honest. I've never danced with anyone with gloves, so probably not.

And, I'm not keen to try, after reading that either!

I'm really funny about feeling 'plasters' on hand too. I don't know why but they just make me cringe

[Caz]

I have no idea who your talking about to be honest. I've never danced with anyone with gloves, so probably not.

And, I'm not keen to try, after reading that either!

I'm really funny about feeling 'plasters' on hand too. I don't know why but they just make me cringe

He was at Storm if that helps.... I did dance with him once but only at the start of the night when the gloves were dry and clean.

[fletch]

He was at Storm if that helps.... I did dance with him once but only at the start of the night when the gloves were dry and clean.

well he had the same pair on, on the Saturday as he did on the Friday, they might have been dry but they wern't clean.

and whats with the 'winnie the poo' picktures on the back of them. Very strange.

I wonder what the excuse is for wearing the leather ones with silver studs on the back, they won't soak up much sweat. but the studs do get caught in your hair

[Caz]

well he had the same pair on, on the Saturday as he did on the Friday, they might have been dry but they wern't clean.

and whats with the 'winnie the poo' picktures on the back of them. Very strange.

ooooo I feel ill now....

i do like Winnie the Pooh but on gloves at a dance night is a bit odd.. Gloves in the winter yeh.. some people can get away with it but not at a dance event....

[fletch]

ooooo I feel ill now....

i do like Winnie the Pooh but on gloves at a dance night is a bit odd.. Gloves in the winter yeh.. some people can get away with it but not at a dance event....

oooo I need to re think my black lace up ones I was going to wear with my Pirate out fit for Saturday

[Caz]

oooo I need to re think my black lace up ones I was going to wear with my Pirate out fit for Saturday

I am sure you will pull it off babe.. or should that be pull them off