View Poll Results: Asking for a dance?

Voters
47. You may not vote on this poll
  • I ask everybody & anybody

    21 44.68%
  • I tend to ask more than get asked

    9 19.15%
  • I ask as much as I get asked

    6 12.77%
  • I ask based on looks

    2 4.26%
  • I ask based on people skill that I have seen on the floor

    7 14.89%
  • I don't like asking but if I don't, I wouldn't dance

    1 2.13%
  • I ask people I see regulary but never strangers

    2 4.26%
  • I ask only people I know very well

    3 6.38%
  • I only dance with my mates or fixed partner

    1 2.13%
  • I never ask and wait to be asked

    0 0%
  • I'd dance with a dead donkey if one turned up

    7 14.89%
  • I get asked more than I ask

    9 19.15%
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Thread: Asking For A Dance

  1. #21
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirlie Bird View Post
    I can go to a freestyle, dance all night and not ask for one dance at all . Guess it has something to do with the amount of effort I put into how I look.
    Oh, now it all makes sense ....

    Must try harder

    ( TB)

  2. #22
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by killingtime View Post
    See it's nice to feel wanted but it's less nice to think that people are fighting dirty to ask so I'm very sorry that this happened .
    Well, if it makes you feel better, I don't think she even noticed what she did. Just too eager to get to you first

    Quote Originally Posted by killingtime View Post
    So I hope, if I was one of the people that didn't seem to ask you, that you don't think it's because I wouldn't like to dance with you; because I would .
    Why thank you . And no, you weren't one of the people I was referring to. I guess I'm referring more to the men I see sitting out, who I remember last time after working up the courage to ask them to dance I ended up stepping on their feet repeatedly and missed many of their leads. So, of course, I interpret all future lack of dance requests to how unpleasant they must have found it to dance with me. More than a little pathetic, I know. Never let it be said that shyness isn't also about self-indulgent egocentricity.

    But Saturday really has made me resolve to ask more people to dance - something about getting called out on my 'puppy dog' routine...

  3. #23
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Idle Mind View Post
    But Saturday really has made me resolve to ask more people to dance -
    I wish you'd asked me.

  4. #24
    Cheeky by nature Little Monkey's Avatar
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirlie Bird View Post
    I can go to a freestyle, dance all night and not ask for one dance at all . Guess it has something to do with the amount of effort I put into how I look.
    Touche!

    But I don't agree..... I've been to dances where I've made an effort, and wear make-up, skirt or dress, sparkly shoes.... And spend most of the night trying to get a dance. Then I've been to dances wearing no make-up and my usual flat jazz shoes and black trousers/top, and can't get off the floor before someone asks me to dance again.

    I think it depends on where I am (new venue or somewhere I i know a lot of peeps), and what kind of 'vibes' I'm sending out there. I'm more likely to be asked to dance if I appear to be happy, confident, fun and eager to dance, no matter what I wear.

    It's pretty soul destroying to go to a dance and hardly get asked all night. Thankfully this hasn't happened to me for quite a while now - possibly something to do with my confidence improving?

  5. #25
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    I have to ask people all night, else I don't get a dance. If I wait to be asked, then I'll hardly ever get to dance

  6. #26
    Registered User NZ Monkey's Avatar
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTramp View Post
    I have to ask people all night, else I don't get a dance. If I wait to be asked, then I'll hardly ever get to dance
    Sadly the same is true for me as well.

    I don't even get asked by people I've known since I started any more. I wonder if I need to change my deodorant or something.....?

  7. #27
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTramp View Post
    I have to ask people all night, else I don't get a dance. If I wait to be asked, then I'll hardly ever get to dance
    I really am lost for words ...........

    I remember asking you on my very first night so that simply isn't true

  8. #28
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    Cool Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTramp View Post
    I have to ask people all night, else I don't get a dance. If I wait to be asked, then I'll hardly ever get to dance
    Ahhh Steve plays the cunning double bluff! Excellent tactics my friend... have some rep

  9. #29
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTramp View Post
    I have to ask people all night, else I don't get a dance. If I wait to be asked, then I'll hardly ever get to dance


    Honestly, sheeesh.

  10. #30
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Freudian Hips View Post
    I remember asking you on my very first night so that simply isn't true
    And how long ago is that. You haven't asked me since! Should I be worried??

    Quote Originally Posted by StokeBloke View Post
    Ahhh Steve plays the cunning double bluff! Excellent tactics my friend... have some rep
    Actually, it's pretty much true.

  11. #31
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Have you ever ??? Plucked up the courage to ask someone to dance,you hang around where they already are dancing...........the music changes........you make your way to them and .........someone else gets there first,so you have to pretend you where on your way to the other side of the floor !!!!

  12. #32
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    I'm with Trampy and NZ Monkey. It's ask or sit out a lot of the time. I wonder if we have signs above our heads that say "sod off, I won't dance with you"? *sigh*

    Trampy, you hide behind your DJ box a lot. But next time I see you, I shall grab a dance... if you promise to be gentle

  13. #33
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by dep View Post
    I wish you'd asked me.
    Well, were you one of the people always dancing with someone else; or were you one of those people for whom eye contact is a bad thing? Am I alone in finding it hard to work up the courage to ask someone to dance who won't look at me?

    From my (yes, meagre) experience it does seem like an awful lot of men just put their heads down and walk through the crowd of women standing round trying to catch their eye so they can ask them to dance.

  14. #34
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Idle Mind View Post
    an awful lot of men just put their heads down and walk through the crowd of women standing round trying to catch their eye so they can ask them to dance.
    I hope I'm not that type, but tell me straight when I do get that dance.

  15. #35
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by TheTramp View Post
    Actually, it's pretty much true.
    I also don't get asked as much as I used to. And I'm happy with that. I don't get refused much either, and I imagine Trampy and NZ Monkey get refused even less.

    I think there is some kind of "vibe" you give out, after you've been doing this a while, where you, basically, get more picky about your dances - consciously or otherwise. Lily's also been heard to say that she doesn't get asked to dance as much as she'd like, so I very much doubt it's a question of either ability or looks. I don't need my ego flattered by being asked to dance by strangers - well, not any more, at least.

    Enjoyment ain't about getting the most dances, and it's fairly silly to imagine that it is. No-one's keeping score.

    Quote Originally Posted by Idle Mind View Post
    From my (yes, meagre) experience it does seem like an awful lot of men just put their heads down and walk through the crowd of women standing round trying to catch their eye so they can ask them to dance.
    Mmmm. Yes, I do this sometimes. But surely that's my prerogative?

  16. #36
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidJames View Post
    Mmmm. Yes, I do this sometimes. But surely that's my prerogative?
    Of course it is! If you're not complaining that not enough women ask you to dance, please disregard

  17. #37
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Idle Mind View Post
    Of course it is! If you're not complaining that not enough women ask you to dance, please disregard
    I'm complaining that people are complaining, does that count?

  18. #38
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    I get asked a lot but thats only really cause people know me and i havea friendly crowd if you like as im sure most of us do. Newbies tend not to ask or people who dont know me. Not sure why that is but on a good nite with lots of faces i know, i tend not to get a gap anyway.

  19. #39
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Gerry View Post
    Why can't dancers just go with the mindset that they are going to do the asking, if somebody then asks them it's a bonus.
    I think then you can just worry about enjoying your dances rather than worrying whether anyone is going to ask you to dance.

    I had an experience when for a number of reason's I suddenly felt that I had no confidence about my dancing, my girlfriend took me to one side and gave me the best advice possible.

    "Nobody has died, its only a dance, sort your self out".

    I think this sums it up.

    Over and out
    I had a confedence issue once and Roy from Oxford said, 'Fletch your a social dancer that smiles all the time if the pearson your dancing with isn't going to make you smile dance with people that do'

    I dance with people that just wan't a hug and tell me somthing important to them, when you hear some of the thing going on in peoples lives dancing is put firmly in its box. 'nice to to have but not the end all and be all'



    do I ask everyone ?

    you bet

    the dance floor is like a box of chocolates, some are soft, some are hard, and there are allways a few nutty options


    bring it on

  20. #40
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Idle Mind View Post
    Am I alone in finding it hard to work up the courage to ask someone to dance who won't look at me?

    From my (yes, meagre) experience it does seem like an awful lot of men just put their heads down and walk through the crowd of women standing round trying to catch their eye so they can ask them to dance.
    If someone asks me to dance whether we've had eye contact or not I always say yes, rarely I say can we make it the next dance if I'm desperate for a break but then I always make sure to have a dance with them within the next few tracks.

    I'm still fairly new to Ceroc, 6 months or so, so I don't do to many fancy intermediate moves. Because of that I feel a lot of beginners and people who are maybe a little bit below par ask me to dance. I don't mind that at all, in fact it's quite relaxing and I feel the expectation level is set a little lower.

    After 4-5 dances with not the best dancers and having my arms yanked about a little to much I decided "that's it" I want to dance with a smooth dancer or have a break. I don't believe in walking about with my head down not making eye contact with anyone and bumping into every third person like some shy school boy, so I'll walk over to my seat with my head up and dancers will make strong eye contact with me and I'll feel compelled to ask them just out of politeness but then I'll think No, if there not going to ask then I'm not going to put myself out, I want a good dancer or a break. It's a bit mean but at the same time I'm not a taxi service, I'm there to enjoy myself.

    I guess I have put off a few people from dancing with me with this approach but like I say I always dance with someone if they have asked me.

    I find I normally need to ask the better dancers for a dance and I don't wait to make eye contact because if I did then more than likely someone will just stroll in front of me and whisk them away in no time.

    One trick the fitter dancers do is to never walk off the centre of the floor. As soon as the music stops, there off asking there favourite dancers for a dance. I think that's cheating a little and unfair to people off to the side who haven't danced to the last 1 or 2 tracks. At least my lazy way of going back to my seat for a sip of water gives the people who hang back a little more oppertunity to ask. Even if occationaly I do look straight through them

    So idle-mind have we danced recently or have I ignored you lately and if so I'm I on your b****** list?

    Cheers DD

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