View Poll Results: Asking for a dance?

Voters
47. You may not vote on this poll
  • I ask everybody & anybody

    21 44.68%
  • I tend to ask more than get asked

    9 19.15%
  • I ask as much as I get asked

    6 12.77%
  • I ask based on looks

    2 4.26%
  • I ask based on people skill that I have seen on the floor

    7 14.89%
  • I don't like asking but if I don't, I wouldn't dance

    1 2.13%
  • I ask people I see regulary but never strangers

    2 4.26%
  • I ask only people I know very well

    3 6.38%
  • I only dance with my mates or fixed partner

    1 2.13%
  • I never ask and wait to be asked

    0 0%
  • I'd dance with a dead donkey if one turned up

    7 14.89%
  • I get asked more than I ask

    9 19.15%
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Thread: Asking For A Dance

  1. #1
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    Asking For A Dance

    Do you ask more than get asked? Are you petrified of asking in case of a blank refusal? Would you not ask people based on looks? Do you only ask people you know?

    I find it annoying when people will only ask people in there clique and equally worrying when people sit down all night and won't ask anybody. I used to be like that back in the days when I just couldn't do freestyle but I guess that was the reason why I couldn't do it. Nowadays I will ask anybody and everybody.

  2. #2
    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Steven666 View Post
    I find it annoying when people will only ask people in there clique and equally worrying when people sit down all night and won't ask anybody.
    Best not to make assumptions/judgements about why people do this. They might be hotshots/cliquey, but they could equally be shy of asking people to dance, particularly strangers.

    Could another option be added to the poll please - "I get asked more than I ask" to balance out the "I ask more than I get asked" option? I do ask, but usually it's weighted towards being asked... at least I prefer it to be. Always feel as though the night has been hard work if I've had to do most of the asking... as if no-one wants to dance with me unless they have to

  3. #3
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    I voted ask more than get asked but honestly think the gap is closing as I improve I've only been dancing 4 weeks but am just starting to find it harder to leave the floor and get more hugs than before (always a good sign!) Theres a fair few mutual asks where you make eye contact, smile and stretch your arms towards each other at the same time which I think is a really cute way to start. I also picked ask everybody but admit to being a little naughty. I'm a sucker for the fast tracks so the first time Candyman came on I grabbed the teacher and had the best dance I'd ever had. Ever since that I probably have an urge to find a slightly better dancer on my favourite tracks. Is that wrong

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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    I'm not sure which options to tick. I tend to stick with people I know, but will watch out for fun-looking dancers to ask.

    If I'm away from my usual haunts I'll typically need to do this more, though there are some places (e.g. Edinburgh) where I get asked a lot more and don't need to do so much random asking.
    Let your mind go and your body will follow. – Steve Martin, LA Story

  5. #5
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Steven666 View Post
    Do you ask more than get asked? Are you petrified of asking in case of a blank refusal? Would you not ask people based on looks? Do you only ask people you know?
    Dont know if i ask more than get asked or if it is the other way round. Some nights it is one and some it is the other. Probably depends on loads of things (male/female ratio probably being one of the most important).

    Quote Originally Posted by Steven666 View Post

    I find it annoying when people will only ask people in there clique and equally worrying when people sit down all night and won't ask anybody.
    I always try and ask a couple of random people who are looking a bit left out. Its not a nice feeling to be in a group of people who are all dancing with each other - it can make you feel quite lonely.

    Quote Originally Posted by Steven666 View Post

    I used to be like that back in the days when I just couldn't do freestyle but I guess that was the reason why I couldn't do it.
    Yeah, its not easy to ask someone to dance when you know it will almost certainly be the worst dance of the evening they have In fact i still feel like this when dancing with someone who is really good but who i havent danced very much with, if at all I know that isnt the right mentality but i dont think its a bad thing to think about how others might see the dance.



    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    Best not to make assumptions/judgements about why people do this. They might be hotshots/cliquey, but they could equally be shy of asking people to dance, particularly strangers.


    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    Could another option be added to the poll please - "I get asked more than I ask" to balance out the "I ask more than I get asked" option? I do ask, but usually it's weighted towards being asked... at least I prefer it to be. Always feel as though the night has been hard work if I've had to do most of the asking... as if no-one wants to dance with me unless they have to
    Yeah, and the more like hard work it feels the more grumpy you* probably look meaning that fewer people will probably want to dance with you, etc...

    *i mean you in the general rather than personal sense

  6. #6
    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Jhutch View Post
    I always try and ask a couple of random people who are looking a bit left out. Its not a nice feeling to be in a group of people who are all dancing with each other - it can make you feel quite lonely.


    Quote Originally Posted by Jhutch View Post
    Yeah, its not easy to ask someone to dance when you know it will almost certainly be the worst dance of the evening they have
    Who are you trying to kid?! You're a lovely dancer (thank goodness!)

    Quote Originally Posted by Jhutch View Post
    Yeah, and the more like hard work it feels the more grumpy you* probably look meaning that fewer people will probably want to dance with you, etc...

    *i mean you in the general rather than personal sense

  7. #7
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Jhutch View Post



    Yeah, its not easy to ask someone to dance when you know it will almost certainly be the worst dance of the evening they have
    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post

    Who are you trying to kid?! You're a lovely dancer (thank goodness!)
    Thanks for the compliment but I was referring to when i first started

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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Being really shy I used to sit/wait for someone to ask me to dance and went home feeling awful when noone did, then I was told that just as many men are waiting to be asked because they are lacking in confidence too.

    wow, a revelation.

    Now I ask for as many as I get asked for, but it's always a boost to be asked first!

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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Why can't dancers just go with the mindset that they are going to do the asking, if somebody then asks them it's a bonus.
    I think then you can just worry about enjoying your dances rather than worrying whether anyone is going to ask you to dance.

    I had an experience when for a number of reason's I suddenly felt that I had no confidence about my dancing, my girlfriend took me to one side and gave me the best advice possible.

    "Nobody has died, its only a dance, sort your self out".

    I think this sums it up.

    Over and out

  10. #10
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    Could another option be added to the poll please - "I get asked more than I ask" to balance out the "I ask more than I get asked" option?
    I'll add it!
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  11. #11
    Registered User Twirly's Avatar
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Lory View Post
    I'll add it!
    Thank you!

  12. #12
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    Best not to make assumptions/judgements about why people do this. They might be hotshots/cliquey, but they could equally be shy of asking people to dance, particularly strangers.
    I was feeling shy all through Southport so generally stuck with people I knew (I don't know why either).

    On certain nights their will be enough people that I haven't seen in a while, that I love to dance with, that by the time I've tried getting a dance with all of them the night will be over. It's not really a clique so much as catching up with friends .

    If it's a crazy ratio of women to men night and I'm not getting to ask much at all then I will probably use the few opportunities to ask with people I've been really looking forward to dancing with.

    Quote Originally Posted by Twirly View Post
    Could another option be added to the poll please - "I get asked more than I ask"
    I was wondering about that too since I'd say that on an average freestyle event I'm probably just in that situation (maybe about a 60/40 split). Thanks for suggesting it and thanks for adding it Lory .

  13. #13
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    "I ask people I see regulary but never strangers"

    Well, I will occasionally ask strangers. Say, at a weekend party, but not often. I admit I don't do as much asking as I probably should. If I wait to get asked, I end up waiting a while Still haven't figured out why.

  14. #14
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    I have only been dancing for a couple of months, and now seem to have hit a point where its getting harder to ask people for a dance than it was when I first started.

    Strangers: not so much of a problem - I don't know them, they don't know me.

    Then there are those I'm getting to know and seem to be more than happy to ask me to dance if they get the chance. On the whole, the thing stopping me is trying to get near before someone else asks them to dance.

    Its the people I've danced with only a few times who seem to kill my nerves. I'm not a particularly good dancer (yet! hopefully) so that lovely internal monologue keeps coming up 'if they wanted to dance with you again, they'd have asked'.

    Oh, and on those lovely occasions when men outnumber women - I have no problem asking then.

  15. #15
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Idle Mind View Post
    Then there are those I'm getting to know and seem to be more than happy to ask me to dance if they get the chance. On the whole, the thing stopping me is trying to get near before someone else asks them to dance.

    Its the people I've danced with only a few times who seem to kill my nerves. I'm not a particularly good dancer (yet! hopefully) so that lovely internal monologue keeps coming up 'if they wanted to dance with you again, they'd have asked'.
    Well they might not get the chance if they are having a busy night. They might also presume that if you wanted to dance with them again then you'd have asked.

    I've got no idea who you are (welcome to the forum!) but if you see me ask me for a dance .

  16. #16
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Ahh but you are one of the hardest people to get near - I think I may have mentioned being pushed out of the way so someone else could ask you ...

  17. #17
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by Idle Mind View Post
    Ahh but you are one of the hardest people to get near - I think I may have mentioned being pushed out of the way so someone else could ask you ...
    See it's nice to feel wanted but it's less nice to think that people are fighting dirty to ask so I'm very sorry that this happened .

    You have mentioned this before which gave the game away as to who you are so I should add that you shouldn't put yourself down; you are a lovely dancer and you should have more confidence in asking people . So I hope, if I was one of the people that didn't seem to ask you, that you don't think it's because I wouldn't like to dance with you; because I would .

  18. #18
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    When I get asked, it is nearly always by someone I already know and/or have danced with before.
    I can recall just one stranger asking a for a dance recently (Twirly are you listening?), but I suspect she was put up to it, after PMJD outed me.

  19. #19
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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    I can go to a freestyle, dance all night and not ask for one dance at all . Guess it has something to do with the amount of effort I put into how I look.

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    Re: Asking For A Dance

    Quote Originally Posted by killingtime View Post
    See it's nice to feel wanted but it's less nice to think that people are fighting dirty to ask so I'm very sorry that this happened .
    Hey, if I've been stalking you for three dances already, the elbows will be out.

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