What would ruin a dance for you?

[DavidY]

a good lead would dispense that by leading to an available space.

...for which you need to look in directions other than directly at the person you're dancing with, in order to find the "available space".

Which was Stuart M's point, I suspect.

[DavidY]

As far as I'm concerned every intermediate dancer should be able to do an unassisted spot-turn. Preferably a double. And this applies to leads and follows.

Better mark me down as a beginner then.

Or at least "not intermediate".

[Lory]

Last night, I nearly had my fingers ripped off, which obviously ruined that dance but several after that one as well.

And they still don't feel right today

I didn't dance with you at SP did I?

No, you didn't

[Stuart M]

...for which you need to look in directions other than directly at the person you're dancing with, in order to find the "available space".

Which was Stuart M's point, I suspect.

Indeed. And given that the "available space" is never fixed on a crowded dancefloor, quite how a lead could always maintain it while never using their peripheral vision is beyond me.

[David Bailey]

1) Peripheral vision from the lead - any direction bar mine, my pet hate I'm afraid.......and thats allowing for shyness too

Is this a "the lead keeps looking around" thing?

Or "the lead actively ignores me and eyes up the other talent" thing?

If the former, then as others have said, it's usually done to keep you safe. Once you've had your first nasty accident, you'll appreciate it, believe me.

But if it's the latter, then I agree - not paying attention to your partner is just rude.

[David Bailey]

Like last night, when my partner's were good, the floor was good, the music was good but for some unexplained reason, I was RUBBISH!

You really weren't, you know?

Believe me, I'd tell you if you were

(Unless you suddenly got rubbish after dancing with me, which is always possible... )

That all said, if you think you're rubbish, then yes, the night gets ruined.

[Steven666]

...for which you need to look in directions other than directly at the person you're dancing with, in order to find the "available space".

Which was Stuart M's point, I suspect.

True but the trick is to do it without being notice, ie looking from the corner of your eye. Not sure why I'm saying this because I find given eye contact impossible. It's just not within me.

[StokeBloke]

Not sure why I'm saying this because I find given eye contact impossible. It's just not within me.

Don't worry about it Steven, I struggled with that for a spell. But it seems to sort itself out


At least I don't think I have any problems making eye contact anymore!

[Lory]

Believe me, I'd tell you if you were

That's true enough And another of my regular partners (who'd also have no problem telling me if I was) said I was fine. But you know yourself when you just don't feel at one with the music or anything else really.

That all said, if you think you're rubbish, then yes, the night gets ruined.

Thinking about it, I had a few things on my mind, I'd also misplaced my handbag, which was really bothering me, as I'd been extra stupid that evening and brought 'everything' in it

I found it in the end, in 'the other' room, which is totally weird, as I never leave my stuff in there. I think someone must have picked it up by mistake and left it in there

[Astro]

A dangerous assumption I would have thought. I don't think he was right to offer unsolicted advice on a social floor but I also don't think you should assume that it must have been his lead that was faulty if you couldn't follow it.

It's amazing how the forum concentrates the mind.

Yes, I agree, I was wrong to say that. He was dancing swing which I don't know very well, so it's true he would need a high tension lead - and obviously, to teach me he would need a lot more tension from me in return, which he wasn't getting.

Well intentioned advice when not asked for may come across as total critisism. But the fact that he was prepared to take a fair amount of time to work with you on something may show that he's not as bad as you think,

Yes we'd danced one swing type dance, then he asked for a second dance. It was on the second dance.

possibly just a little misguided in his approach.

Yes, I would have preferred the tension lesson off the dancefloor as we were in the way and I felt vunerable to being kicked.

I know I am happy to take critisism from anyone.... what I do with it is another matter

I appeciate critisism, we learn best from our mistakes.

[StokeBloke]

This response shows a level of maturity that is not welcome on this forum. You will need to resit your entry examination paying special attention to the Petulance & Name Calling Paper, and the Slagging People Off course work.

[CheesyRobMan]

- Excessive bouncing
- The Incredible Vice Grip of Death
- Body odour
- Complete lack of eye contact

[Jay Jay]

A dance with no eye contact, no smile and sometimes no acknowledgement whatsoever can make me feel very insignificant...it is lovely to feel good vibes for that short space of time and not that your partner is just going through the motions.

[Genevieve]

Is this a "the lead keeps looking around" thing?

Or "the lead actively ignores me and eyes up the other talent" thing?

If the former, then as others have said, it's usually done to keep you safe. Once you've had your first nasty accident, you'll appreciate it, believe me.

But if it's the latter, then I agree - not paying attention to your partner is just rude.

The latter obviously.......lucky for me I'm astute enough to spot the difference between looking for room to catapult and looking for chance to pull-a-cat

Not sure why I'm saying this because I find given eye contact impossible. It's just not within me.

Rubbish, I've danced with you several times and you were positively staring

[Steven666]

Rubbish, I've danced with you several times and you were positively staring

Seriously? I am trying to get better. It's not as though I never look at my partner but I definately look away more than I look towards. But I currently have a habit of looking to the side (and behind me via my corner of my eye) on every step back. OK till I know that there's is no-one a couple of yards from me yet I still do it! Better to be safe than sorry.

[Genevieve]

Seriously?

Stop fretting, I enjoyed my dances with you.

(and behind me via my corner of my eye)

Is that the one in the middle of your forehead??

Better to be safe than sorry.

Quite......nothing worse than an unplanned game of ballroom skittles.

[fletch]

Seriously? I am trying to get better. It's not as though I never look at my partner but I definately look away more than I look towards. But I currently have a habit of looking to the side (and behind me via my corner of my eye) on every step back. OK till I know that there's is no-one a couple of yards from me yet I still do it! Better to be safe than sorry.

Joe has a problem with eye contact, but it must be hard when your 10.

I don't remember eye contact been one of you problems

[Steven666]

Joe has a problem with eye contact, but it must be hard when your 10.

I don't remember eye contact been one of you problems

When I was 10, all girls had rabies!