I agree with RobD that these are examples of stunningly bad manners. I have used the 'it's ok to smile' or 'don't worry it might never happen' light-hearted, playful type of comment myself in the past when a partner seems really sullen. Sometimes people get that look when they're concentrating and a little comment (kindly said, not sarcastically) can make them realise they are a bit disconnected from their partner. I cannot think of any circumstance which makes it acceptable to compare a lead to another dancer on the floor and then walk off. The only acceptable reason for walking off would be if the lead persisted with moves (be they close hold or dips/drops) that a follow had indicated politely that they don't feel comfortable with.
I had one really lousy dance and one in which my lead seemed to look anywhere but at me. Strangely it was the latter which would have made me give up halfway through, if either. At least the lousy lead (inappropriate close hold, 'nuff said) was paying attention to me! I'll be avoiding any future invitations to dance from those particular leads.
One of the nicest compliments I had all weekend was during one of my few dances in 'hotshot alley': "I love the way you smile so much when you're dancing". Now I don't wear a fixed grin at all times but I do think it's important to look a partner in the eye and smile at them - sometimes it comes naturally from the sheer exuberance of dancing and sometimes it takes a little conscious effort. Perhaps the compliment reflected the fact he hadn't seen many smiles, I don't know!
I quaked a bit when I read this as the words (but absolutely not the attitude) sound like something I might say - I am hopelessly fussy for music although I really am trying to do better, but there are quite a lot of things I just wouldn't enjoy dancing to. If I'm asked in the first two bars of a track I don't know I really want to ask for 10 seconds to decide if I like the music please? So I might say something like 'I don't think so' but I would always finish the sentence with 'because I don't like this track - can I get you for the next one?' or words to that effect. I did that several times this weekend and found some very nice dancers that way. Most askers take being declined very politely but often seem surprised when I do actually chase up for the next track, perhaps cos they thought it was a brush-off?
Anyway, I really hope the poor experiences fade faster than the good ones for you.
Cheers Rosie, thanks for that! To be fair, these were the only bad experiences I had in around 20+ hours of dancing, so that's not a bad average. Those forumites I did dance with (such as yourself, Caz and Jamie and anyone else I've forgotten!), were really fun and positive and made the whole trip across the Pennines worthwhile.
Right. I'll make a post on my first Southport.
In Short
It was fab.
In Length (well not quite that long)
Dancing - The standard did scare me somewhat, especially when I first got there. My dancing was pretty poor throughout. Need to pace myself next time. Thanks to anyone I danced with and so sorry to a certain person (they know who they are). It was also good to see so many of my favourite followers there too.
Classes - Good variety. Viktor I thought was class. B&H I thought weren't too bad but I did steer away from moving around to fixed couples after the first WCS class. People seemed to be less pleased in WCS than MJ if a beginner like me messed up. A DT would have been nice. My attempts are a little lame compared to some (Trampy 4 on 1).
Floors - Mainhall was nice and fast but a little slippy making me fall on my backside on the odd occasion. Ouch. Also I bit too hot. Blues room was fine, just a little cold if someone opened the doors for too long to walk in/out. Latin Qtr, only danced once in there. Dance Den, where the hell was that?
Accomm - Tipical Pontin/Butlins style. I'm very used to it having spent 18 year, twice a year going Barry Island. Didn't spend that much time in there but it was handy being close to the dance halls. Oh and that lock to get in. Got the nak of it eventually.
Cabaret - Fabulous. Especially B&H. Highlight of the weekend easily.
That will do for now. Was going to do a longer one but my memory is failing me.
Last edited by Steven666; 6th-February-2008 at 07:06 PM.
I've uploaded some photos. Though the pictures aren't publicly advertised they are available to anyone who has that link so if you think a photo shouldn't be up there let me know and I will remove it. They aren't in massive size format so let me know if you want a bigger version of any of them.
I only took my camera out once so I hardly have an extensive representation of the weekend.
I had a fabulous time. Thank you Jon & Wes.
The Good (in no order)
CJ's afternoon sets - Saturday set best of the two, not by much. Thank you all for not asking me to dance to Freebird, I sat as close to a speaker as I could without climbing inside, timeless.
Zebra Woman's set in the Latin Room on the Sunday night
Dance Demon's Friday & Sat AM sets
Roger Chin's final Sunday morning set
The atmosphere in the Ballroom on the Sunday night / Monday morning
Dances with SnowWhite (everyone just ), Jamie() & Noel (), WittyBird & Caz -fun as always. Not a bad dance all weekend I felt - thank you all
Tango Dances - both in the Dance Den and in the other rooms (Zebra Woman, Lory, Yliander, HelenB (Ballroom also in June?), Little Monkey, Lynn, Smiley Sue and Twirly Bird from 7.30am Monday morning onwards....)
Dizzy - so kind too my WCS
The Bad
No Nessiemonster
Not having Trampy & Tigerbabe playing- but that is the way...
The Ugly
Sheepman's WCS set on the Sunday morning - interrupted my Southport zone that was building up all weekend and had peaked thanks to Zebra Woman & Roger Chin hoping for it to continue straight through to the last dance- came back by 7am though once more interpretive, playful/ cross over music started to be played, a long wait though.
As others have said, Dance Den & Blues Lounge, too much WCS music in the Blues Lounge during the WCS Dance Den sets.
A personal thank you to Wonder Woman for doing all the driving, cooking me bacon in the morning, diner on Friday & Sunday night and being a great chalet mate.
Spartacus for being good company in the car and letting me sleep on the way home after having only an hour in bed - it is all you need.
May Southport continue to evolve.
Thank you Jive Addiction Team
I experienced something along the same lines on Saturday, as a tall, older woman I struggle to find the confidence to ask a lot of the good male dancers. I had stopped one guy from leaving the floor and asked him for a dance and he took a few seconds with that look on his face that said I really don't want to but I can't think of an excuse at the moment. He did dance with me though, and it was really good and he looked quite surprised at the end. I didn't bother asking him again.
I know I have been guilty of this. VERY seldom is it because I don't want to dance though. Freestyles and weekenders are a little different..... you dance for such extended periods at a weekender, it may be something as simple as you need the loo and have tried to leave the dance floor the last two tracks already; or eat; or cool off; or change your shirt; or grab a drink; or... well you get the idea. Although I can honestly say I have never felt this way because someone is a tall, older woman.... mind you I'm not sure if I fit into the 'good male dancer' bracket anyway.
If only having fun on the dance floor wasn't such a serious business
Aye aye Miss Lead please grab me and Stokie at the next Southport.
We may not be the best dancers and we may not be hotshots but we will dance your little socks off all night .
Now theres an offer from 2 of the most gorgeous men on the forum.
Stokie I am sure you will not mind me volunteering you for this.
Ps how was the little pressie I gave you Stokie?
DTS Dave XXX XXX
After lots of badgering and such a busy few days after i've had time to sleep and recover (sort of) to post my thoughts...
This was my first ever south port and only my 2nd weekender (1st one was breeze last year). WOW!!! I had heard that it was good but i don't think i've had THAT much fun for a long time - especially all weekend. It was great to catch up with people from whom i met at Breeze.
I arrived with Mr Darcy and HelenB who both made the journey feel really fun, relaxing and effortless.
Was feeling a bit intimidated when first walking into the blues room - don't think HelenB has ever seen me that quiet before but after a few dances I found my stride.
Met a few new forumites - HELLO!!! plus the many others I already knew.
Special mention to Killingtime who helped me in the chalet before dancing Friday evening and just good fun to be around in the chalet when I gate crashed.
As for my dances, I had my first connection dance on Saturday afternoon... took me by suprise and blew me away... AWESOME!!!
Saturday night was fun dressing up in a toga to help Fletch - hahaha (See Killingtime's pics of me the barbarian )
Music was great in both the Jive room and the blues room... the odd track here or there was *** is this but 1 or 2 over a whole weekend is nothing.
Not only was the dancing at such a high standard, the people were so friendly, even in so called "ego alley" - not one of them refused a dance with me.
Sunday night music in the jive room was awesome (especially the funky music early in the morning, but then that's my taste).
A weekend i won't forget in a long time... thanks to everyone I danced with and hope to see you all soon.
Lloyd
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