Southport Feb '08 - the aftermath

[stewart38]

, it's when it spills into outright bitchiness that it becomes tiresome.

There was an incident on Saturday night when I was dancing with a young lass, who, to be fair, was a very good dancer. However, throughout the dance, she had the same expression I'd wear if I was undergoing a colonoscopy. It got to the point where I said, playfully "It's alright to smile you know." She replied, "Well, I would, if I was dancing with him", pointing to a hotshot across the dance floor, before letting go and stalking off, mid-dance. Needless to say, I was pretty amazed at this, and felt very deflated.

I had a similar experience on Sunday, when I approached a similarly hotshot woman for a dance. I asked her if she wanted a dance. She turned slowly (I am not kidding), looked me up and down and said with deliberate emphasis and drawled: "No, I don't think so," and looked away.

Yes, the music was great, as were most of the workshops, and 99% of the people I danced with. But I found the head-in-the-arse attitude of a minority really hard to deal with.

Well if you dont say sarcastic/rude things to your dancer im sure it will be get better. Re the 'hot shot' across the dance floor why call 'him' that because she preferred him ?

Maybe she wasnt enjoying the dance with you, live with it


As Robd said

I would question the wisdom of you mentioning 'It's alright to smile you know', however playfully you may have intended it. If I get a sulker for a partner I just stay silent, see out the track and make a mental note to avoid asking that person again.

[fletch]

Oops, I'm afraid for one reason or another Friday was a bit of a blur for me. I'm getting used to women squealling with THAT particular move - a personal favourite at the moment

X

poor Gerry, I was dancing with him when you walked in and he said isn't that your freind from Scotland over there, when I seen it was you I wan'ted to stop dancing and rush over but I don't think it would have gone down well.

The cat thats got the cream comes to mind

[Tiger Pants]

poor Gerry, I was dancing with him when you walked in and he said isn't that your freind from Scotland over there, when I seen it was you I wan'ted to stop dancing and rush over but I don't think it would have gone down well.

Actually, that was after the cat was out the bag, so I really wouldn't have minded but I think Gerry deserved the whole dance. Thanks for the dance on Sunday BTW Gerry!

[Lynn]

Well if you dont say sarcastic/rude things to your dancer im sure it will be get better. Re the 'hot shot' across the dance floor why call 'him' that because she preferred him ?

Its so easy to misinterpret things... you now think he was being rude... I had read it differently, that it wasn't just the lack of smiling but a general 'I'm not enjoying dancing with you' attitude. The comment I guess could be either an attempt at humour to lighten the mood, or a criticism about attitude - if the latter, and taken as such, then the women may choose to end the dance I suppose.

There is a big difference between not smiling - some people just don't smile a lot when dancing - and being totally and obviously switched off and bored.

[Freudian Hips]

I had a marvellous Southport!!
Chalet was warm and comfortable.
Fabulous dancing as ever - both for watching and doing.
As others have said, the need to sleep really got in the way of the dancing. Major thanks to the crowd - Ducasi, CJ, Prezelmeister, Raphael, Boardman, Silver Fox, Passion Harem, Noel, Tigerpants (eventually ) and all the others ....... And so many I didn't get to dance with. .......
Classwise: I only did James Mac's last class - we had a ball and "nine to five" will never be the same track for me. Wish I had done more classes but the dancing got in the way.
My dancer discovery of the weekend - Pete. Very responsive, gentle and experimental all at the same time - bliss.
Weirdest moment - a dance with a guy who kept doing hip movements that reminded me of a copulating rabbit.
Major investment of the weekend - a new pair of dance trainers which are the most comfortable and slidiest ever.
Glad to see Heavenly Dance shoes at the event - saves me having to make a trip down south especially! Although the ideas it has given me will outweigh any savings.
Food thanks - Freya, Kirsty and PMJD who did the washing up - thanks for looking after me.
Music - I particuarly enjoyed CJ's Saturday set and Zebra Woman's Sunday Latin Room set (I'm not generally a great Latin fan for more than a couple of tracks but this was great!)
The extra flooring in the blues room worked well.
I had some really positive experiences up at the bar (aka "Hot Shot Alley"). I had gone over for water and was sitting down on a bar stool whilst I drank my four or five tiny cups worth and on at least two separate occasions people walked around or across the floor towards me and specifically asked me to dance. It was really nice - thank you to those guys that made that effort
(Of course, it may be that they were really heading for one of the hot shot dancers and then chickened out at the last moment! )

All of the dancers I asked in that area danced (apparently willingly) with me and we seemed to have fun - Paul Warden even laughed when I completely misread a lead 3 times in a row

Roll on May!

[stewart38]

Its so easy to misinterpret things... you now think he was being rude... I had read it differently, that it wasn't just the lack of smiling but a general 'I'm not enjoying dancing with you' attitude. The comment I guess could be either an attempt at humour to lighten the mood, or a criticism about attitude - if the latter, and taken as such, then the women may choose to end the dance I suppose.

There is a big difference between not smiling - some people just don't smile a lot when dancing - and being totally and obviously switched off and bored.

I've has a 1000 dances where the women hasn't 'smiled' at all and im sure ive done 10,000 dances where I havent smiled once, im not know for it

Im afraid 'its alright to smile you know' is sarcastic/rude in my book. How does that make the dance better ??

Two options for that person if their not enjoying the dance

1. Walk off
2. look more grumpy but wait till the end

[Terpsichorea]

Its so easy to misinterpret things... you now think he was being rude... I had read it differently, that it wasn't just the lack of smiling but a general 'I'm not enjoying dancing with you' attitude. The comment I guess could be either an attempt at humour to lighten the mood, or a criticism about attitude - if the latter, and taken as such, then the women may choose to end the dance I suppose.

There is a big difference between not smiling - some people just don't smile a lot when dancing - and being totally and obviously switched off and bored.

I think the danger in recounting this kind of experience is that it's impossible to give the exact nuances of what happened. In this instance, Lynn, you're absolutely correct - it wasn't the absence of a smile, but the presence of an attitude (and a mighty big one) that was the problem. The woman looked disgusted to be dancing with me, and that was absolutely without question. Visibly sighing and rolling eyes is, in my book, a sign of active rudeness. Telling her it was 'alright to smile' wasn't said sarcastically, it was said playfully (as much to relieve my own embarassment as much as anything else).

With regard to the question of 'him' - OK, people can pick holes in my assertion that this guy was a hotshot, by questioning exactly what I mean by that. In this context, I mean someone who was unquestionably a great dancer, but only danced with a small group of equally 'elite 'dancers. I know this was the case, because I was sat on the edge of the stage, or dancing close to it, for much of the night, and had ample opportunity to observe this. Anticipating the reaction of some forumites - fine that's his privilege, as it's hers, to only dance with people you want to dance with. What I did object to was her attitude, which was (in my opinion) extremely discourteous. Sure, we've all had bad dances, or dances which haven't lived up to our expectations, but to walk off - mid-dance - surely isn't acceptable behaviour at any time. I can handle the fact that I may not have been this woman's dream dancer - what I can't forgive is the fact she flounced off and basically said I was sh*t.

[robd]

Just thinking about the flack that Benji & Heidi are getting for their lack of social dancing this weekend, I don't recall seeing Nigel or Nina out in the evenings nor the tango couple (sorry, forgot their names). It doesn't necessarily mean that they were not out just that I didn't see them .

Viktor was a very noticeable exception on the Friday night though.

[Lynn]

Just thinking about the flack that Benji & Heidi are getting for their lack of social dancing this weekend, I don't recall seeing Nigel or Nina out in the evenings nor the tango couple (sorry, forgot their names). It doesn't necessarily mean that they were not out just that I didn't see them .

Viktor was a very noticeable exception on the Friday night though.

I saw Nigel dancing in the blues room on Sat night. And I think B&H are getting more comments about their teaching style than lack of social dancing.

[Yliander]

Just thinking about the flack that Benji & Heidi are getting for their lack of social dancing this weekend, I don't recall seeing Nigel or Nina out in the evenings nor the tango couple (sorry, forgot their names). It doesn't necessarily mean that they were not out just that I didn't see them .

so very true - I did see Nigel - out at least one evening

were Kim and David at the Tango sessions in the Dance Den?

With B&H even just being around for a drink and a chat at somepoint would have been nice...

Viktor was a very noticeable exception on the Friday night though.

I missed Viktor on Friday night - but did see him Sunday morning

[fletch]

I didn't see the Tango couple, but victor, N&N were about, at least you could talk to them, ask questions get an autograph if thats what does it for you.

I think for me anyway, it was Benji general attitude, like we weren't good enough to stay with or talk to.

[LemonCake]

My turn...

Summary from September:

I need to dance more & observe less
I need to NOT injure myself in the first dance and have a sore foot all weekend
I need to try one class each day
I need to find some means of keeping bare legs warm between chalet & blues room
I need to look in the Dance Den (not been in yet) - maybe after some more WCS classes

And the results are:
Not sure
Passed
Failed...
Yes (boots!)
Umm, failed again... (but we're going to a WCS class tonight)


General thoughts:
It seemed less packed than last June or September (my only previous experiences of Southport). I suppose this was due to the weather, and people choosing to go for summer if they aren't doing all three. I liked it, as it was less hot and cramped - still very busy at peak times but somehow a bit more comfortable. This could be my imagination.

The weather wasn't as bad as we'd feared. Knee-high boots, layers of wrapping and a chalet quite close to the venue meant I didn't mind venturing out too much, although I didn't make it to the dance den once ensconced in the Blues Room (sorry, Lounge).

The multi-track class cabaret was great fun to watch. The showcases were fantastic and the contrasts in tempo and style of each accentuated the overall effect. Such a shame Benji & Heidi's won't be on the DVD, as the first piece was utterly beautiful and the second full of wow-factor. Didn't do any of their classes so can't comment although wasn't too keen on Benji's introduction to their second piece. Also I didn't notice them dancing socially as other teachers have done in the past but maybe I was in the wrong places at the wrong times.

'Ego alley' - there does seem to be a congregation of really good dancers/beautiful people there, which can be intimidating. I found myself dancing there a couple of times and did briefly think I was stepping above my level but soon forgot in the enjoyment of the dances. I think I was only declined by one person (politely). Generally I'll dance anywhere I'm standing when a good track comes on, and often my criteria for choosing (if not simply the nearest person to me) will be height - the novelty of partners who make me feel small hasn't worn off yet! I'm often told by these partners that it's nice to dance with someone tall for a change, so it seems to work both ways.


The Good
Extra floorspace in the Blues Room - so glad that's coming back in June. Do we get the marquee as well?

Fab dances - with PretzelMeister, UnderPar, Raphael, Michael, robd, Chef, DTS, Rhythm King, Ducasi, Passion Harem, Tom-from-Oxford, Kirk-from-Rugby, Dave-from-Kidderminster (I think) and many more, and of course the fabulous double-lead from KillingTime and PMJD.

Being complimented with PM as we came off the floor that we'd been 'lovely to watch'.

Catching up with lovely people from all over the place

Making myself dance with strangers more with a 'don't say no' policy (or chasing up for a next track if I did), to music I wouldn't necessarily choose, and finding some new favourite dancers.

Being led in 'chains' as a 'Cerocovingian' barbarian captured by the mighty General Rhythmus Rex - and coming third in the fancy dress!

Little Monkey's cheesecake

Heavenly Dance Shoes!!! - THANK YOU to John and Wes for getting them there, and to PretzelMeister for buying me my third pair. (Fourth will be a pair of WCS shoes!)

THAT dance with ClaireS for PretzelMeister

DTS's fantastic reaction when he heard I live with PretzelMeister ("You jammy b*****d, he's the best dancer ever!")


Room For Improvement
The arrangement of the tables left in the Blues Room - it got a bit cluttered and difficult to navigate with everyone's stuff. Possibly solveable with a change of layout.

Not getting round to asking everyone I meant to. Must do better next time.


The Bad
Being so frantically busy with work in the week before that I hardly had time to pack or bake. As a result packing was haphazard and baking at a much-reduced level. Normal service will be resumed at Blaze III.

Forgetting to pack a hot water bottle

Forgetting to pack flat dancing shoes

The temperature on Friday night - PM came home to find me wrapped in pjs, dressing gown, socks and two duvets and STILL cold!

Missing Viktor's classes because I was too much of a wuss to brave the masses.

Postponing a request from Snow White's Dave then missing him later (his new name should be Sleeping Beauty!).

Getting sore shoulders & neck on Sunday which made dancing uncomfortable and awkward.

My 'don't say no' principle on Sunday night resulting in a dance so dire that a friend asked 'was that as bad as it looked?' when I came off the floor


Thank-Yous
To the ever-wonderful PretzelMeister: for driving both ways with a comatose companion, for yet more dance shoes, for not complaining at the number of cups of tea I left half-drunk, and for being my walking hot-water-bottle!
To McJester & Little Monkey for massages
To CMS for the last-minute prop
To Yliander for helping with the lengthy decision process for shoes!

To Johnah & Wes - for organising a fantastic weekend for us.

[Lee Bartholomew]

Just thinking about the flack that Benji & Heidi are getting for their lack of social dancing this weekend, I don't recall seeing Nigel or Nina out in the evenings nor the tango couple (sorry, forgot their names). It doesn't necessarily mean that they were not out just that I didn't see them .

Viktor was a very noticeable exception on the Friday night though.

I saw Benji a few times Sat night, not dancing but just walking around with who I assume was one of his people. Looked like he was just having bit of a nose to see what was going on. To cut them some slack, they prob are tied in with contracts etc and they had just that day flown in from America and prob jetting off somewhere else Sun night. If that was me I wouldn't feel like dancing or socialising with people I don't know. Infact I would prob be really grumpy and avoid people so I didn't have to put on a happy face.

[stewart38]

I think for me anyway, it was Benji general attitude, like we weren't good enough to stay with or talk to.

Do you think he belongs to Scientology group ?

At the Cabaret he reminded me Tom Cruise

i.e. I’m rich your not lets all jump up and down on chairs. Never really know if he is joking or not

Any way fair play to him he spent 4hrs changing my tires for £10,000, small change in the City

ps maybe he/they are too good for us ?

[JonD]

were Kim and David at the Tango sessions in the Dance Den?

Kim & David were at the milonga on Saturday night and I spoke to some folk who'd danced with them. I overslept and arrived late, just as they were leaving, so didn't get a chance to dance with Kim then - but I'd had a couple of lovely dances with her immediately after their lesson on Saturday afternoon. I didn't get her autograph but she did say that we will dance again when I next visit Negracha, which will be a treat.

[Lynn]

I think for me anyway, it was Benji general attitude, like we weren't good enough to stay with or talk to.

I think teachers should be around after class to ask questions (not just sell DVDs!) and I have no idea if B&H did this or not. But when it comes to social dancing, then I think teachers joining in is a bonus, not a requirement. We don't know what personal things people have going on, how tired they are etc.

I do love it when the teachers come out to play as I think it speaks volumes about their whole attitude and its great to watch. When they are willing to take some time dancing with those of us still pretty far down the learning curve that also says a lot about how much they love the dancing, that they want to encourage new people to grow and develop.

[rubyred]

Sure, we've all had bad dances, or dances which haven't lived up to our expectations, but to walk off - mid-dance - surely isn't acceptable behaviour at any time. I can handle the fact that I may not have been this woman's dream dancer - what I can't forgive is the fact she flounced off and basically said I was sh*t.

Really sorry to hear that you had this experience Chris, I have experience of being turned down and looked over like this in the past and it is hurtful. You are a courteous and talented dancer and always a gentleman on the floor, with good attitude and great musicality. It's their loss that they were so up their own backside they couldn't see what they were really missing. As robd said don't let this spoil all the highlights of the weeknend you experienced.

[Caz]

I do love it when the teachers come out to play as I think it speaks volumes about their whole attitude and its great to watch. When they are willing to take some time dancing with those of us still pretty far down the learning curve that also says a lot about how much they love the dancing, that they want to encourage new people to grow and develop.

Perfect example of this was James McLauchlin who was around most of the weekend in the main room and was happy to dance with everyone and anyone. Restored my faith in teachers being "normal" people

Went dancing last night to local venue and it so isn't Southport Roll on May / June

[Lory]

I don't recall seeing Nigel or Nina out in the evenings

I had a few lovely dances with Nigel

[Wes]

Extra floorspace in the Blues Room - so glad that's coming back in June. Do we get the marquee as well?

No, we shall be taking note of your previous comments and for the May/June event, lay a floor on the Blues Lounge terrace, but risk the elements in favour of the opportunity of dancing in the moonlight ( I feel a song coming on!)