I know, I'm such a bully.
Well, OK then.
ON a semi-serious note - any fool can set up a forum, and the moderators are not always exactly cool, calm and collected. On the other hand, without any sense of context, or even a link to the forum in question, it's difficult to make any comment about actions taken.
I still chuckle when remembering how Franck got banned from that WCS forum
Cruella – I’d suffered from bullying for a good part of my life, both at school and at work. I don’t now, because I stood up to one and it really does seem to have evaporated from my life.
Standing up to the last one was actually easier than I’d expected too – and the actual dispute was over something relatively minor, but I stood up and said “no, I am not going to work like that”, with every intention to take the situation to HR if necessary. She backed down.
I’d been job-hunting, without success, for about 18 months as she’d been making my life a misery, and funnily enough, about 6 weeks after the stand-off, I found myself handing my notice in and going off to a job with a huge pay rise to boot! It was as though something shifted in me.
I did subsequently encounter another bully (this was less personal though – he was a pig to absolutely everyone on the team!), but realised that I didn’t have to put up with it and after doing my best, just walked out of the job, because I valued myself. Luckily I found another one pretty quickly.
I think that when I stood up to this particular bully, I ceased to be her victim and took away her power. But that also changed me.
I’m sure there is plenty of information out there about bullying if you need advice, but I wish you luck with sorting the situation out. PM me if I can help though.
I've recebtly had to put up with intimidation and bullying where i used to work. My girlfriend died of cancer in August and i have like a lost ship with no rudder since, struggling to just deal with my work. The firm i was working for hada very tough attitude, as in "We all have problems Paul just get on with it, if you dont you wont have a job." I was layed off last week. Fortuneatley i start a new job on Monday. But bullying and intimidation are unacceptable whenever or where ever and whatever form it takes.
I understand how you feel, my last manager did all she could to make my life uncomfortable, when my girlfriend died of cancer she had no sympathy whatsoever. All she said was we all have problems get on with it.
I think you can only be bullied by someone, if you care about them or value their opinion.
Once you stop caring and I mean, 'really' stop caring, they can't hurt you anymore and also, once one stops talking about it and showing that they're bothered, the bully will simply get bored, as they're not getting the reations they crave. Its a power thing.
(i'm not talking about physical bullying here or work situations, where you have someone you 'have' to comply with, as they are your superior)
Last edited by Lory; 17th-January-2008 at 12:52 PM.
MODERATOR AT YOUR SERVICE
"If you're going to do something tonight, that you know you'll be sorry for in the morning, plan a lie in." Lorraine
Last edited by Lory; 17th-January-2008 at 12:52 PM. Reason: correcting a spelling mistake in 'my' post
Someone tried to bully me in the Army once, but never again...
Very true - so find another job.
It is the solution, although seems like an impossible task, as bullying tends to sap your self-esteem, so you don't do yourself justice when trying to sell yourself to a new employer.
And sometimes there is a culture of bullying in an organisation, or a lack of willpower to do anything about it. So even standing up to a bully on an individual basis, whilst the right thing to do, isn't always the complete solution.
Like I was. It was awful and you'd think they'd treat their employees with some respect. It wasn't just me, nearly half the office became bully victims.
I couldn't even repeat what one of the bosses said to me when I was due to go for a docs appointment. It's so embarrassing. Ok, in brief... just because I wrote a rough note taken over the telephone on a plain piece of paper, and not the lined padded paper, she whispered in my ear.. If you write in that pad again, it won't be a doctor you're going to see, I'll shove it up there myself. Was a right cow. Nearly everybody left the company. Luckily, one of my work mates heard it and I stood up and had a go at her and got in contact with my Union.
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